by Maren Smith
“What would I need to do to get punished?”
“No, no, no. I'm not taking your brat-bait.” He sucked in a breath and let it out. “I should have worded my statement differently. I don't want you doing anything reckless or potentially dangerous just to get a reaction. Your safety is important, little fawn.”
“So, what do you consider reckless?” Playing with fire wasn’t the smartest move, but damn if the thought of Fabian punishing my ass didn't turn me on. Still, I balanced precariously on the edge in between my adult and Little mindsets.
“You seem to be in-between spaces, Hadley. Are you?”
“Maybe.” I jutted out my right hip and perched my hand on it. Oh. He saw it somehow and read in between the lines. I was going to be in so much trouble if this went the way I saw it headed. He brought out my other mindset even when I wasn't trying to get there. “Can you just answer my question?”
“Listen closely.” Fabian took the hand from my hip and laced his fingers in mine. “You promised to relax on the couch while I went to town for a supply run. I also checked on your car, but we'll discuss that later. Go clean yourself up and then we can take care of the kitchen together.”
Something wild poked through my brain. Short of running out into the woods full tilt, which might be an option if this went badly, my plan seemed like a good way to get what I wanted.
I plucked two eggs from the carton and before Fabian could process what I was doing, I smashed them on top of his head. The whites mixed with the yolk and dripped down over his eyebrows and onto his cheeks. He wiped the gunk away with his free hand and shot me with the most authoritative stare I'd ever seen. Instead of flipping me over his shoulder and sticking me in the corner, which is what I thought he'd do, he picked up the bowl of breadcrumbs and dumped it over my head. Startled by his response, I grabbed the flour and herb mixture in my hands and threw it onto his shirt.
He picked me up completely, tucking me under one arm, my hands and legs dangled inches off the floor. He removed an object from the counter, out of my line of sight, and sat down on one of the kitchen chairs. My hands hit the floor as I balanced across his lap, and my sweatpants were removed along with my panties.
“Sir!”
“Oh, now I'm Sir?”
“Please,” I begged. “I was just kidding.”
“No, you weren't. You wanted a reaction, Hadley. Here it is.”
Crack. Crack. Snap. An implement bit into both of my cheeks and I screeched. He moved to target my upper thighs and I cried out immediately. I attempted to crawl off his lap, but he was stronger than me.
“I was wrong. Please let me go.”
“We’re not done, little fawn.”
Fast strikes hit the lowest curve of my ass and the seam where my thighs began. I wailed as his punishment continued, but I wasn't mad. I wanted to experience a punishment compared to whatever he had done the other day in his bedroom, and he delivered. I was wrong to push him in such a fashion, and my butt paid the price.
“I'm so sorry, Sir.” My words came out in between sobs. “Really!”
Fabian smacked each side of my bottom with his palm and then fixed my clothing. He righted me on his lap, pinched my chin between his fingers and forced me to look into his eyes.
“Why did I spank you?”
“I was disrespectful.” I sniffled. “I pushed really hard for you to punish me when you already said there isn't enough time to create rules. You're right. You need to know me better in order to do something like that, but I still pushed.”
“Are you going to poke me again?”
“Yeah, probably.”
“Today?”
“Is that a trick question?”
“Oh, little fawn.” He swallowed hard. “I'll turn your cute little behind from pale to pink every day, but I don't want to punish you again. There is a lot involved with rules and repercussions. It's not as simple as busting your butt for acting out.”
“I am sorry for not listening.”
“I forgive you.” Fabian kissed my forehead. “Go get cleaned up. I look forward to eating the meal you've created.”
“Are you going to take a shower?” I looked up at him. “Or you could, um, take a bath with me.”
“I'll take a shower since this hair treatment needs to be washed out, but it will be alone this time.” He winked and set me down. “We can take a bath when you're in a more adult space as I'm likely to get distracted by your skin on mine.”
“Oh.” I eyed the wooden spoon in his hand. It was larger than any of the ones at my house. “Your spoon hurt a lot.” I rubbed a hand over my burning tail.
“I’m sure it did. Go on.”
For some reason my brain suddenly rebelled and decided I couldn’t handle a real correction. No, all of this was too much. Fabian cared for me on some level, even after the short amount of time we had spent together, but it wouldn't do us any good to keep playing pretend. I needed to get to town, collect my car, and return to my normal. He needed to return to his normal where he wasn't burdened with a maybe–Little who didn't know what she wanted. The magical adventure that began in the woods on a stormy night had ended. The bridge was fixed, so there was nothing else holding me here. It would be better to rip off the Band-Aid now instead of spending another minute in his house.
“It's probably better if I just get out of your way sooner rather than later. You could drop me off in town tonight after we eat.” Backpedaling in a huge way seemed easier than dealing with the emotions swirling inside me. I wanted to stay and have Fabian wrap me in his arms and take care of me. I wanted to leave and run far away from the feelings I had for him and the things I wanted him to do to me.
“You aren't in my way, Hadley. Do you really want to leave tonight?”
“No, but I've got a lot of crap going on inside my brain.” I shook my head back and forth. “It’s complicated and I don’t want to tell you.”
“I can’t help you, if you don’t share what’s going on.”
My head fell to my chin and I willed myself not to cry again. I took several deep breaths and let them out.
“I've wanted to call you Daddy since the night we played games and you held me in your lap while it thundered outside.” There, I said it, but I couldn’t bear to look at him to see his reaction. What would he think?
“Call me whatever you'd like, and I'll respond accordingly. I apologize for not making it clearer.”
“But–” I raised my head and tears spilled over my eyes.
“You don't need to be embarrassed around me. I’m serious about exploring possibilities and building a relationship with you, but you're the one who needs to get back into a routine and determine what you want.” He cupped my cheek. “I'm patient. You're not going to scare me off because you aren't one-hundred percent certain of what you want yet.”
“So, I get to make the decisions?”
“Well, you can make that particular decision.” Fabian cleared his throat expectantly. “If we get into a relationship, after we talk about limits and needs, plus wants, I'd be making them on your behalf.”
“Good to know. Thanks for taking care of me.” I hugged him tightly. He was not going to appreciate my next move, but if the ball was in my court, I needed to do what was best for me.
“I know you’re grateful. You don’t have to keep saying it.” He swatted my ass once before he swept me into his arms and carried me upstairs to his room. “Go take a bath. If you need me, call me.”
“All right. I’ll go.”
“See you in a bit, little fawn.” He winked and left the room.
Instead of doing what Fabian asked of me, I decided it would be better to pack up my stuff and leave. I stripped off my food-covered clothing without bothering to rinse off the rest of the breadcrumb and flour mess. Zeus had entered the bedroom at some point and watched me gather my things and stuff them into my bags. “Don't look at me like that. I've got things to do.”
Shit. That dog wasn't going to let me escape
. That was a silly thought; the dog wouldn't know I was leaving for good. The shower in the downstairs bathroom turned on and I took the opportunity to scoot down the steps on my butt, quickly but stealthily.
I dropped a note on the kitchen table that read, “Dear Daddy, I'm sorry for stealing your water bottles and granola bars. Please enjoy the meal, I made it special for you. I'm going to get my car and then I'll be gone. These past few days have been the bestest days of my life.”
Crap. I bounced between headspaces while writing and Fabian would recognize the shift immediately. It should have made me pause, but I’d already made up my mind. I signed the paper with my name, as if he wouldn't know who wrote it, and drew x’s and o’s along the bottom.
I didn't really want to leave tonight, but self-sabotage had gotten the best of me. Mother of pearl. That's what the damn heart of the matter was. Fabian had said and done all the right things and it scared me to the bone. He seemed ready and willing to embark on a journey with me, and it was everything I'd always wanted. I needed to block out these wonderful memories so I wouldn't be hurt.
Grabbing my coat and shrugging it on, my eyes drifted to Zeus who had been following me as if he knew my plan.
“I need to go,” I whispered to my furry friend and opened the front door. Zeus nearly knocked me over to get outside. “No, boy, you need to go back inside.”
Zeus barked. I had no choice but to continue on even though the dog would bring Fabian running if he kept barking. I shouldered my backpack and picked up my other bag. My ankle protested, but I ignored the pain and lumbered out into the woods, following the driveway onto the dirt road with a general idea of how to get to town. Fabian taught me to read a map, a local one that I memorized, or at least I hoped most of it was committed to memory.
I glanced over my shoulder. Zeus was hot on my trail.
“Go home.” I shooed him. “I've got to get my car and get out of here.”
It was hard to balance on my feet and lug around my bags. Despite what was or wasn't going on between us, Fabian would have brought me all the way home if I had genuinely asked him to. Something about being in the woods suddenly scared me. My adult brain had disappeared, and I felt like a small child lost in the woods.
“Keep going, scaredy-cat. You're almost there.”
I wasn't any closer to town after my fifteen-minute trek. I couldn't remember if Fabian said it was two miles away or five miles away. I should have paid better attention during his impromptu lesson rather than staring into his dazzling blue peepers. Zeus barked twice.
“Go home, Zeus.”
He barked twice more. Whatever. I trudged along until my ankle screamed in pain and I sat on a large boulder. Zeus barked twice, whined, and barked two more times. He rubbed up against my legs and I petted him.
“I think this was a mistake, boy.”
We sat there together in the woods, neither of us moving much, other than Zeus occasionally barking in his pattern of two before he returned to my legs. A huge black beast of a pickup truck roared up the road, startling me out of my thoughts. Fabian had found us. Thank goodness. I hadn't made it difficult since I’d stuck on the path to town straight off his driveway, but it was in record time, nonetheless. He parked the monster truck and got out of the driver’s side.
“Zeus! Hadley!” He bridged the space between us quickly but didn’t reach for me. “Are you okay?” He eyed my bags but didn't demand an answer.
“Yeah.”
“I didn't get a chance to tell you that your car isn't fixed yet. One of the parts they ordered wound up being for the wrong model. It will take them a few more days. I can bring you to the bed-and-breakfast in town if you'd like.”
“I-I don't care about my stupid car.” Little me was at the forefront of my brain and she wasn’t retreating any time soon. “It's old, anyway.” I shrugged. “And I don't care about being in bed at breakfast.”
“Did you run away because you're having big feelings you don't want to talk about or because you wanted another punishment?”
“Feelings,” I mumbled. “Did I scare you?”
“Yes, little fawn, you did.” Fabian rubbed his hand over Zeus who nuzzled against his palms. “It will be dark soon and it's harder to see where you're going at night in the woods.”
“Can we go back to your house?” I rubbed my eyes. “My ankle hurts a lot and I got scared.”
“Yes, but you're going to spend the first fifteen minutes in the corner.”
“Yes, Daddy.” My lower lip trembled. Darn. I'd done more crying in the past two weeks than I had in the past few years. “I promise not to run away again.”
“Good. It’s not safe in these woods all by yourself.”
“I had a brave guardian.”
“Yes, but you shouldn’t have taxed your ankle. If you wanted to get out of the house so badly, I would have brought you.”
“I’m sorry, Daddy.”
Fabian picked up my bags and deposited them into the back of the truck. He lowered the tailgate to allow Zeus to climb up and inside then closed it. Returning to my side, he bent down in front of me.
“Climb on my back.”
I linked my arms around his neck, and he set a leg on either side of his waist. “A piggyback ride!” I giggled into his ear when he stood up. Somehow, he knew exactly what I needed at that moment. “Thank you!”
My heart filled up with joy as he circled the truck several times while I shouted with glee. Zeus barked happily, wagging his tail. There were big feelings and situations to deal with, but I'd handle it all tomorrow.
Tonight, I was Daddy's little girl.
Chapter Five
I sat on one of the kitchen stools situated in the corner and wished Fabian had just spanked me instead of putting me on time out. I hated staring at the blank wall. My brain had no choice but to play all the silly things I’d done today on repeat. I could have gotten hurt or worse. Plus, Zeus had followed me. What would I have done if we got all the way to town? I wouldn’t steal my furry friend or leave him alone knowing how much he meant to Fabian. Ugh. I pushed those thoughts away and focused on counting. I counted to twelve million. Well, not quite but five hundred and forty-eight felt like a huge number when you were stuck in the corner.
“Have you thought long and hard about what you did to earn yourself some corner time?” Fabian asked gruffly.
“Yes, Daddy.”
He pulled the stool out of the corner and brought it to the kitchen sink with me still sitting on it.
“You’re going to wash and dry all of these dishes and pots and I’ll clean up the rest of the kitchen.”
“Then what happens?”
“Then I’m going to give you a bath and heat up dinner. I picked up a special treat from Abigail’s Bakery this afternoon for dessert, but you need to eat all your dinner to get it.”
“Can I have a peek?” I gave him my sweetest puppy dog face. “Please?”
He obliged my curiosity and brought a huge box out of the refrigerator. Fabian popped open the top and I wiggled excitedly against the stool.
“CUPCAKES!” I clapped my hands.
Twelve of the most delicious looking cupcakes lined the pretty pink box. Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, and peanut butter were the ones I identified first. They were loaded with different colored icing, sprinkles, or cookie crumbs and I wanted to eat all of them.
“Can I have one now?”
“After dinner, little fawn.”
“Yes, Daddy.” I grinned up at him and watched him return the cupcakes to the fridge. “I can’t wait.”
We cleaned up the mess from earlier in record time and he carried me into the bathroom. Fabian stood me up and slowly removed my clothing, piece by piece until I was naked. He lowered me into the tub and washed my hair first since it was the dirtiest with bits of flour and breadcrumbs clinging to it. He took his time shampooing and conditioning it, while massaging my scalp. I felt like a freaking princess.
“I can wash my body,” I pr
otested when he soaped up the washcloth and lowered it to my feet.
“Yes, you have the ability to, but I want you to relax. I’ll do it.”
“I’d like to do it myself.”
“Why?”
My hang-ups were all from my adult side, laden with self-limiting beliefs along with the pursuit of perfection. It was a hot-button trigger, but I didn’t want to indulge those defeating thoughts.
“I wanna exercise my hands.”
“They got plenty of exercise today already.”
“Okay, Daddy.”
Fabian lifted my bum ankle first, washing it gently, and repeated the gesture on the other side. My breath hitched in my throat as he trailed the washcloth over my knees, up my thighs and in between, but he didn’t linger. Phew. His hands scrubbed all of my parts clean before he rinsed the suds away.
“I like this.”
“I’m glad.” Fabian pulled the plug and lifted me out of the tub. Drying me off with a big fluffy towel, he then set to dressing me. I didn’t have Little oriented clothes, but something about the no-nonsense way he got me ready kept my headspace in check. My hair was pulled up into two ponytails, further planting me in my safe spot.
“Thank you, Daddy.”
“You’re welcome.” He lifted me up, and I wiggled anxiously in his arms.
“Aren’t you tired of carrying me around all the time?”
“No, little fawn. I quite enjoy it.”
“It makes me feel really special.” I pressed closer to him. The warm scent of vanilla and cedarwood mingled together. I knew the combination would forever bring me back to that moment. “Can we have cupcakes now?”
“Dinner first.” Fabian brought me to the kitchen, but I really wanted those delicious treats.
“It’s backwards day,” I announced. “You start with dessert and then you have the rest.”
“We can split one.” He held up his pointer finger. “But only because it’s backwards day. Then we eat dinner.”
“And then we eat more cupcakes!”
“Silly little fawn.” He kissed my forehead. “You’ve got a one-track mind.”
