“Mommy,” she said, clicking her tongue, “Miss Beverly says that's a bad word.”
“It is,” I said quickly. “Don't repeat it.”
“Why did you say it then?” Carly asked.
“Because this cake is amazing,” I answered. “And adults can sometimes say bad words.”
“But not kids,” she said.
“Right,” I replied.
“Carly, what's this?” Casey asked, pointing to a pink, spongy coral at the base of the cake.
“It's an anemone,” she answered after giving it a brief glance. “Clown fish live in them, but nobody else can.”
“What's that called?” Casey asked.
“Symbiosis,” she answered, “because the clown fish are protected by the anemone, and the anemone likes it because they keep it clean.”
“You are so smart!” Rex said as he came into the kitchen with Casey's aunt and uncle, Linda and Gary. “Your dad teaches you so many fantastic things, doesn't he?”
Casey sighed and looked at me apologetically. Ruby and Dr. Barron, who had been chatting quietly in the foyer, came into the kitchen carrying large aluminum pans of food.
“The food just came,” said Dr. Barron, Ruby's former boss, who had come to all of Carly's parties, for some reason.
“Let's put it on the kitchen table,” Rex suggested. “We can make our plates in here and sit in the dining room.”
The Hawaiian barbecue was delicious, and everyone ate in relative silence, except for light conversation about the weather on the opposite sides of the state—Highdale Park was on the eastern side of Kansas, and Linda and Gary, Rex's sister and brother-in-law lived on the Western side, only about forty minutes from the Colorado border, they always reminded me.
Carly ate just enough chicken and rice and cabbage, which she complained was 'not kale', to have Casey okay her for cake. When everyone was finished, we followed her to the kitchen and sang happy birthday, watched her blow out the candles, then cut the cake and ate it. Obviously from a high-end bakery, the cake tasted as incredible as the decorations were amazing. I refrained from making noises of enjoyment while I ate my slice since I had done a pretty good job of not drawing any attention since the initial 'showdown' with Ruby.
After the cake, Carly tore through her presents, most of which were 'Finding Dory'-related: two outfits from Linda and Gary, a figure-set and tiny indoor mini-golf set from Rex and Ruby, and an inflatable outdoor pool from Dr. Barron for the summertime. Casey then wheeled in a 'Finding Dory' bicycle and helmet, which elicited a shriek of joy from Carly.
“Can you teach me? Can you teach me?” she begged him, hands clasped together in front of her.
“Yeah, of course,” Casey responded, and every adult in the room, including myself, looked at him strangely. “The garage is big enough for me to teach you,” he added, answering everyone's questioning looks.
“Yay!” Carly cheered and danced happily.
“I have one more present for you,” Casey said. “It's in my room, in the basement.”
“Okay,” Carly said.
She led the way, pulling him by his hand, and everyone followed, down the stairs to his basement 'apartment' style room. He flipped the light on and Carly went rushing toward the seating area of his room. Against the wall was a twelve foot long, beautifully colorful aquarium, full of tropical fish.
“Dory!” Carly screamed, jumping up and down and pointing at the fish. “Nemo! Another Dory! Dory's mom and dad!”
I couldn't remember a time I had seen her so happy and excited. And I looked between her face and Casey's, who looked every bit as happy and excited at her joy as she did, and I felt my heart melting inside me. He was the most amazing father I think I had ever met. And if I had to take on the responsibility of caring for him so that Carly got to have more of him in her life, I would.
“This is amazing,” Linda said. “Wonderful job, Casey.”
“He's been working on it for over two weeks,” Rex said with pride.
Casey caught my eye, and his smile vanished slowly, and turned to a look of intent...a deep, meaningful connection. Desire bubbled up from my core, rippling through my chest as our eyes stayed locked over the top of our daughter's head as she traced her fingers across the front of the aquarium, following the fish.
“Can Dory come home with me?”she asked.
Casey answered without looking away, “No, sweetie, they have to stay in the aquarium. It's very special water that they live in. I had to set it up to be like the ocean.”
“Well, then move it to my house,” she demanded.
Our gaze finally broke as we both reacted to her bossy tone.
“Don't speak to your father like that, Carly,” I warned. “And we're not moving the fish to our house,” I added. “We don't have room, and I don't know how to take care of them. It's a lot of responsibility.”
“Then daddy can come with us,” she tried, a pout spreading across her little lips.
“I...Carly,” Casey said softly, kneeling in front of her and squeezing her shoulders lovingly. “You know I can't do that.”
“Why not?!” she snapped, stomping her foot.
“Alright, that's enough of your attitude, missy,” I said.
“We should go,” Linda said awkwardly. “It's a long drive home. Happy Birthday, Carly.” She and Gary left, and Dr. Barron excused himself shortly after, mentioning that he was on call.
Carly's lip trembled and she started to sniffle.
“Please don't cry,” Casey said.
“If she's sad she should cry,” Rex stated
“Could you please, for once, Dad, just not?” Casey grumbled. “Please.”
Rex shrugged and left the room with an exaggerated sigh, heading back up the stairs. Ruby followed after shooting me an icy glare.
“Carly,” Casey said once his parents were out of the room, “you know I can't leave the house. Because...I'll get sick. Really sick.”
“Grandma Ruby said mommy can take care of you!” she protested. “I heard her! Come live with us! Mommy will take care of you—and I will help! I will give you all your medicine to make you not get sick!” she bawled.
“Hey, hey....shh,” Casey shushed her, pulling her into a hug and stroking the back of her head comfortingly. “That's something that your mom and I will talk about, but until then, the fish will live here, okay?”
“Why can't you and mommy be married like normal mommies and daddies?!” she cried. “Why can't we all live together?”
Casey looked up at me over her shoulder, his face scrunched in pain and confusion looking like he was holding back tears himself. I didn't know what to say any better than he did, but I knelt down behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder.
“Not everyone’s mommies and daddies are married, sweetie,” I said. “Everyone is different.”
“But you like each other!” she wailed. “You could live together! You were hugging!”
“Honey, living together is really serious, and not something grown ups decide quickly,” I said.
“Are you deciding?” she asked, sniffling and turning to me with puffy eyes and splotchy red cheeks.
“Yes,” Casey answered, catching my eyes again. The intent look returned. “We're deciding,” he said quietly.
“Okay,” she sniffled, and wiped her tears on Casey's shirt, which he didn't even notice as he kept his eyes locked with mine. “Can I watch Dory now?” she asked.
Casey nodded. “Get ready for bed first, and watch it in your bedroom.”
“Good night, Daddy,” she said and kissed him on the cheek. “Good night, Mommy.” She hugged me and ran out of the room, and I heard her clamor clumsily up the stairs, likely on all fours, which is how she took the stairs at our townhouse.
I stood slowly, and Casey rose, too, not taking our eyes of each other as we did.
Suddenly, like something in both of us communicated without words, we lunged at each other, joining our lips frantically and fervently. My breath cau
ght in my throat, and his became broken and choppy as we battled for air against the desire and hunger.
He pushed me around the corner of the aquarium and against the wall.
“There are cameras,” he whispered. “This should be a blind spot.”
“Cameras?” I asked, in between urgent kisses. “Why are there cameras?”
“It's a long story,” he said, spitting the words out quickly before taking me into a deep, passionate kiss. My lips parted under his strong, stony ones, and he tasted my tongue eagerly with his. I moaned in approval, and it sent him into a feverous new level of urgency. He grabbed my skirt and pulled it up to the middle of my thighs, then grabbed my legs and pulled them swiftly and effortlessly around his waist, then pressed into me. I gasped as I felt him against me, ready and waiting.
“What are we doing?” I whispered breathlessly.
“Deciding,” he murmured his answer, his lips against the thin skin of my neck.
“What happened to going slow?”
“I decided it's not going to work.”
“I agree with your decision.”
His lips worked their way across every inch of my neck while his hands moved to my panties. I jumped and gasped as he ripped them effortlessly.
“Do we need—”
“I'm on the pill,” I answered before he finished his question.
He slid his pants off and took me into a ravenous kiss as he swiftly joined us. We moaned in unison as he buried himself completely inside me. Flames roared through my body, and I grabbed his short, brown hair in my hands as I rounded my back, pressing my hips toward him, sending him deeper on his next thrust. I almost cried out at the feeling, the agonizing ecstasy, but I remembered the others in the house, and bit my lip to stop myself.
I continued to try and stifle my sounds of pleasure as he continued his rhythmic in and out, each time building more and more tension and sensual torment within me. I couldn't stop the moans from escaping my quivering lips as I neared my release, and clawed at his back, signaling to him, begging him to go faster. Harder. Deeper.
“Oh god, Casey,” I whispered in his ear, clenching around him as I felt myself about to climax.
He growled as he took my lips with his mouth, ensuring I wouldn't scream with pleasure as he set himself deep inside me and stayed there. I bucked and swiveled against him wildly, urgently, causing me to break. I moaned in my throat as the waves of orgasm washed over me and I twitched and tightened around him. He groaned and roared into my lips as he buried himself into me one last time for his finish.
“Alex...” he sighed as he pulled his face away, panting for air, the sheen of sweat across his smooth forehead. “Holy shit.”
I laughed quietly and wiped the sweat from his brow, and he pushed some wild, tussled espresso curls from out of my face. “Better than the cake, hm?” I joked.
“Way better than the cake,” he chuckled as we separated, and he carefully let my legs go, making sure I was standing on my own two feet before he let go of me. We fixed our clothes and hair as best we could before emerging from the side of the aquarium that was apparently a blind spot for the cameras.
He walked to his dresser and pulled out a pair of boxers and tossed them on his bed, which sat in the middle of the room, facing the television.
“Sorry about your...” he said, gesturing to the ripped panties, and trailed off with a shrug.
“That's okay,” I said, walking over to the bed and grabbing the boxers. Just as I did, he tossed a toothbrush on the bed where the boxers had been. I looked up at him, questioning.
“Stay,” he whispered, his dark eyes full of affection.
I nodded. “Okay.” I slid the boxers on under my skirt and pulled it off, folding it and laying it on the dresser.
Casey, who had changed into flannel pajama pants, walked around to the other side of the bed, turned on the television and shut the lights off. We both climbed into the bed, and he pulled me into his strong, solid arms, kissing the hair on the top of my head.
No sooner had we pulled the covers up did we hear the sound of little feet coming down the stairs.
“Are you and mommy having a sleepover?” Carly asked, sounding somewhat offended that we hadn't told her about it.
“What are you doing down here, stinker?” Casey asked, angling his upper body to look back at her as she scurried towards us.
“I can't sleep,” she said. “And I want to be with the fish. Can I have a sleepover with you guys?” she pleaded.
Casey nodded. “Sure, sweetie. Come on.”
Of course, she plopped herself right between us, and we each scooted out toward the edges of the bed to give her more room. We each kept one hand above her head, intertwining our fingers together as we helped her get tucked in under the covers and Casey searched for a cartoon for her to watch. Casey rubbed his thumb along my hand, and I looked up at him when I had gotten Carly under the blankets.
“This is all I've ever wanted,” he murmured.
I felt warm tears of happiness in my eyes, and I was too choked with emotion to speak, so I just nodded, and he squeezed my hand in silent response.
We all fell asleep, as a family, in the flickering white light of the TV and the soft blue light of the new aquarium. As I drifted off, I couldn't remember any other time in my life I had felt so full.
CHAPTER 9
Rousing from sleep to Casey pulling me into his chest with his strong, lean arms, I realized that Carly was nowhere in sight.
As if reading my thoughts, Casey sleepily mumbled, “She went upstairs to get breakfast,” with his lips against my forehead.
“Mmm...” I purred. “So can we stay right here all day?”
“I like the sound of that,” he replied, squeezing me even tighter than before.
I pecked his chest and sighed.
“What?” he asked.
“And then what? And then we go home?”
“I—I don't know,” he stated, then echoed my sigh. “I suppose so. But I can't wait another week to see you.”
He stroked the back of my head, twirling strands of my hair absent-mindedly in his fingers as he did.
“I want you to be with Carly,” I whispered. “You're such an amazing father, and she loves you so much. Last night, I realized...she should get to have you in her life more often. All the time. I don't know what that means, but, I want to figure it out.”
Casey loosened his embrace and propped himself up on one elbow, angling his face over mine and looking down over me with a serious gaze. “Is that what you want?” he asked.
I surveyed his face, which was just as gorgeous and perfect first thing in the morning as it always was, and I was positive mine was a mess of slept-in, smudged makeup, bags under my eyes and pale, splotchy skin. I nodded my response.
“I want what's best for Carly,” I said. “And that's you.”
“I want what's best for you, too,” Casey said, taking my face in his hand.
“Maybe that's you,” I whispered.
“I hope it is,” he murmured and lowered his lips to mine for a gentle, affectionate kiss.
My chest whirred and went hot, like an engine igniting. Instinctively, I wrapped my hand around the back of his neck and pulled him in closer. His kiss was suddenly my air—if I didn't have it, my chest ached for it, and I couldn't breathe.
He pulled away slightly, and with his lips still slightly pressed against mine, he whispered, “I can leave.”
“What?!” I rasped, shocked enough to yell, but trying to keep my voice down so as not to alert anyone upstairs of our conversation.
He pulled away a bit more. “What I—what we said was wrong with me—why I can't leave,” he stammered nervously through the explanation, “it's not...it's not the truth.”
I shot up to sitting, throwing the sheets and blankets off in the process. “What the hell?!” I snapped, trying to keep my volume low still, but it definitely raised a bit. “You're not—you're not sick? You won't die if you—”
“No,” he answered plainly.
“Casey! Why would you lie?!” I whispered. “To me! To your daughter! To everyone!”
“Look,” he pleaded, “it wasn't my choice. This is all Ruby and Rex. I do have a rare condition, and they conduct research on me, and they get a lot of grant money for their research. Hence, they don't want me to leave.”
I stared at him in silence with my mouth gaping open for several moments before I could manage to speak through the shock. “That's...unethical. Casey, that's wrong. They're treating you like a prisoner, not their son!”
“Sometimes it feels normal, I guess, and I just forget,” he defended. “But sometimes...you're right. I'm nothing more to them than a fancy piece of research equipment.”
“Why haven't you just left?!” I asked, grabbing his leg urgently. “If you can leave—if you won't die when you leave this house, then why haven't you?”
He sat up abruptly and grabbed my hands, squeezing them in his strong, larger ones.
“I have tried, okay?” he murmured. “Mostly for you...” he sighed.
“I don't understand then—”
“Rex diagnosed me with some form of psychosis that I don't have, and he and Ruby put a freaking tracking chip in me, like I'm a goddamn dog,” he explained, and I could hear the anger about the situation finally creeping into his voice. “Whenever I've tried to leave—I tried to come see you after...our night together, after prom, and I tried to come to the hospital for you, when you were having Carly. I wanted to be there so badly it was killing me...”
He trailed off and dropped his head, and I could hear his voice straining, tightening with emotion. When he looked up, tears had filled his gray eyes. As they rolled silently down his cheeks, I brushed them away with my fingers.
“What do they do?” I asked softly.
“They, uh...they call the cops, tell them exactly where I am, and that I'm a danger to the public,” he growled resentfully. “I never get more than ten minutes out of the house before I'm thrown to the ground like a criminal and dragged back here.”
“And then...do they punish you?” I questioned, not really sure I wanted to hear the answer.
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