by Izzy Shows
“Well in her defence, I don’t get that either. Why the fuck do people see something with their own eyes and then refuse to acknowledge it?” I asked.
“Because people are comfortable, and I want them to be safe enough for that comfort to not get them killed. Why is that so much to ask?”
I glared at him. “Ignorance breeds sheep.”
“So, get rid of the bloody wolves.”
I threw up my hands and looked at Shawn. “Do you hear this? Do you hear what he’s saying? He’s defending ignorance right now.”
He quirked an eyebrow at me. “You realise you’re talking to one of the people you intentionally left ignorant, right?”
I flushed. “Shut up.”
They both looked at me for a long moment before laughing, and I joined in because it was so easy to be around them and embrace the feeling of being normal for just a moment. I had to hold onto it tightly, a part of me afraid that if I let go for even a moment it would evaporate into thin air and never be found again.
“How did it go with the Lord Baron?” Finn asked.
“Well enough. I’m not sure how much I believe, but apparently, Carmen had nothing to do with my being targeted by the vampires. He refused to let her come help, as well, which I gave him an earful for.”
“Good. Don’t let him walk all over you, it’s bad for business.”
“Your business or mine?”
“One and the same now, isn’t it?”
I was thoughtful for a moment. “So, when do I get paid, then?”
He laughed, and Shawn grinned.
“She’s always going to be one step ahead of you, boy-o,” said Shawn.
“That’s why I keep her around, keeps me young,” Finn said.
“Hey, she’s right here you know. In front of you. Me. Why are we talking about me in the third person?” I glared at them. “And nothing could keep you young, dinosaur.”
He clutched at his heart as if he was old and I wasn’t just ripping on him. “You wound me.”
Silence drifted over the three of us, a comfortable sort, and then I remembered something I’d wanted to ask. “So, wait a moment, Finn,” I said. “How did you know to come to the…the house?” I was a little afraid that Mal had alerted him regardless of my decision, and I didn’t want to explain my friendship with a demon if it could be avoided.
“Oh, that, right. Anonymous tip, isn’t that crazy? Sent me into a bloody panic when I got it.”
My mouth formed an ‘O’ as that sunk in, and I tried to think of who would have…oh, duh.
“Dudley,” I said, it all finally clicking. “Carmen told Dudley, Dudley must have tipped you off. He didn’t hang me out to dry after all.”
“Well, that’s reassuring. Evil bastards come through for something.”
I pursed my lips. Fin didn’t understand working in the grey, he didn’t see shades very well, was determined to paint everything in black and white.
The night wore on in a comfortable fashion, with the three of us discussing the attack, speaking in our own kind of code, and making jabs at one another. It was a refreshing conversation to be a part of, one where I allowed myself to let go of the normal tension that came from being out and about but still worrying that something was going to pop up behind me and require me to act against it.
As the evening began to wind to a close, Finn stood up.
“All right, I think I’m going to get out of here. Drive safe, don’t let the monsters bite,” he said with a wink.
I laughed. I am the monster, the thought flitted through my mind before I could stop it. My smile tightened a bit, and I shrugged my shoulders. “I’ll be fine.”
As he left, Shawn turned back to me with a single eyebrow raised. “Dare I ask for the honour of taking you safely home?”
I blushed, shaking my head slightly. “No, you may not. I am beat to death, if you’ll recall.”
“Even more reason to have a doctor there to…take care of you,” he murmured, his voice a seductive purr.
“Hmm, then wouldn’t I be better off in my doctor’s domain, where he has all his supplies?” I arched a brow, deflecting a bit. I didn’t want to bring him home with me, as much as I enjoyed his company and what we intended, it was my personal space and I wasn’t ready to share it with anyone.
“Aye, I’ll agree to that.”
We stood up together, and he wrapped an arm around me as we walked out, both to support me so that I didn’t run the risk of pulling out my stitches—I was curious to see what he considered safe tonight—and for the delight of the physical proximity.
“We should probably discuss what we’re doing here,” he said as we got into his car, pulling out of the lot and heading towards his home.
“You’re right. I’m not ready for anything serious, Shawn. I hope that’s OK.” The words were out of my mouth without missing a beat, having been thought on for a fair amount of time now.
He darted a look at me, grinning. “You had that ready to go,” he said. “No, that’s OK. I told you, I’m not asking for anything you’re not ready to give. I have no problem with setting boundaries, with it being as casual and easy as this.”
I smiled at him. “Thank you, for understanding me.”
How had I ever got so lucky as to have people in my life who understood me?
“Of course,” he said, one hand shifting from the steering wheel to my upper thigh. “Though I’d say there’s still some room left for me to learn about you.”
My breath hitched, I felt my inner muscles clench in anticipation. “Indeed, we do.”
We shared a brief glance, the energy charged with desire and so much tension.
I couldn’t wait to get back to his house, in that moment I needed him.
47
It was four in the morning again when I finally returned to my own home, my body deliciously sore but all the important stitches still in place. My bed was calling to me and I was ready to answer that call. I wanted a smoke first, though, so I sat down on the step in front of my door and lit a cigarette.
I let the nicotine high take me on the third drag, closing my eyes and smiling happily. It had been a good day, overall, and I had been long since overdue for one of those. It had been a difficult week, but I’d managed to make it through and that was all that mattered.
Blair…
A voice brushed at the corners of my mind and I jerked, looking around for a moment as if I would find the speaker of the voice. There was no one around, of course, the voice had come from the recesses of my mind, a foreign entity that at least reassured me that I was not going insane.
Blair, we need to talk.
I recognised the voice now—Mal.
A shiver ran down my spine and I took another drag on the cigarette to steady myself. I didn’t want to talk to him, even though I’d made up my mind back at the vampire manor that I would do just that. I didn’t want to admit that there was anything going on with me that I needed to worry about, and that’s what talking to him would mean.
Blair, I would prefer to come to you, but if necessary then I will call you to me. He was much more firm this time, and clearly was not about to accept no for an answer. I debated shutting him out the same way I had been doing for the past year or so, but if he was going to call me then he was going to call me and that was all there was to it.
I don’t want to do this, Mal. Not right now. I just wrapped everything up…
I know. Let me come to you so that we can have this conversation and you can return to your attempts at being normal without it hanging over your head.
I frowned. He had a point. Heaving out a heavy sigh, I spoke. “Malphas, Malphas, Malphas.”
He was sitting beside me a moment later, wearing his signature black suit and red shirt. His black hair, normally slicked back, hung in a shaggy mess about his ears, brushing against the edge of his jawline.
“So,” he said slowly, dragging out the syllable for a moment.
“So,” I said with an
uplifted brow. “I suppose we need to deal with this.” I placed the cigarette in my mouth and held it there so that I could take the cuff off my wrist. The mark burned there, as if it knew that Mal was present. He reached out to stroke it, and along with the shiver that ran down my spine, a pulse jumped through my body as if I’d been electrocuted. The burning sensation eased though.
“You said that you didn’t know what it was going to do to you.”
I took the cigarette out of my mouth. “I don’t. Do you?”
He frowned. “Not exactly, no. I’ve never kept an eye on the few people I’ve given that mark. It’s necessary for large pacts, and when I’m creating a bond where no Fallen or demon is permitted to work with you. It’s rare for me to do that, and I can’t quite remember the last time I did it. I don’t know that anything happened to the people that received the mark. I wouldn’t think it would affect you.”
“I have a blood lust, Mal. I enjoy the fight way too much—but it’s not like I have a baseline to compare it to! I have no idea what I would be like in a fight without this thing on me, inside of me, so I don’t know if it’s causing problems or not. And I’ve been getting headaches lately. Is that related?” I blurted all the words out as if a dam had broken.
I didn’t know what was happening to me with this, and I sorely wanted to know at the same time as I was terrified of knowing. Because I needed to know that everything was OK and that the mark wasn’t going to control me, but then that would mean that I was the one who enjoyed fighting to the degree that I did. Or on the other hand, I could be looking at not having any control over who I turned into. Neither of the options were appealing, and I didn’t know which one I wanted to be right. So, I didn’t want to know and I wanted to know at the same time.
“The only thing I can honestly say is that I don’t know anything for certain,” he said, his lips set in a grim line. He looked as if he was deep in thought, as if he might be hiding something from me. “I wouldn’t have given anything to you that I thought would hurt you, I hope you know that.”
“I think I do…” I said, lifting the cigarette and pulling on it thoughtfully. “I can’t ignore this, Mal. I can’t just close my eyes and hope that everything is going to work out. You can’t honestly expect me to do that, can you?”
He was quiet for several moments that stretched out between us, not looking at me the entire time.
So, he did, he did expect me to just quietly go on with my life as if nothing at all was happening to me, as if I wasn’t aware that something was affecting my moods, changing the way I behaved in battle, changing me. I couldn’t ignore that.
“No, I don’t expect you to,” he said at last. And then he finally looked up at me, a promise in his eyes. “We’re going to find out. Together.”
A crack of lighting broke overhead; there was no storm.
Raven stood in front of us. Human. Tall and intimidating, their silver hair reaching their shoulders and flying wildly about though there was no wind. Their grey eyes locked on mine and there was such a fury there…I felt my gut clench in panic.
“You are doing nothing without me,” they said.
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Also by Izzy Shows
The Codex Blair Series
Grave Mistake
Blood Hunt
About the Author
Izzy Shows writes urban fantasy novels for adults, and much more in her spare time. She’s also an avid LARPer and enjoys storytelling in all art forms. She can be a little cooky, and really enjoys talking about her works, writing in general, or all things fantasy. To learn more about her you can follow her on twitter or check out her website.
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