Beefcake & Retakes

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by Fennell, Judi


  She rolled her back onto the door and plastered her palms to it, giving herself a head-on view of Tanner’s bedroom door. He had to have heard. She’d half expected him to come out to defend himself. But he hadn’t.

  Why?

  She wanted to go to him. Wanted to invite him back to her room where they could continue where they’d left off. But she had a feeling that moment was over.

  Sighing, she turned off the light by the sofa and headed to her corner of the house.

  “Juliet.”

  His voice slid over her in the darkness just like his hands had. And with the same effect.

  She took a deep breath. She didn’t want to have to say goodnight to him like this.

  But she’d agreed to his stipulations so she turned around.

  He stood in his doorway, bigger than life. Just as he’d always been. “Thank you.”

  “For… what?” That was one she hadn’t expected.

  “For defending me.”

  “He shouldn’t have said those things, but he’s upset.”

  Tanner grabbed the doorframe over his head and leaned forward. “You don’t have to make excuses. He was within his right to say them. I mean, after all, I did leave.”

  “With good reason.”

  He let go of the woodwork and took two steps out of his room.

  Juliet’s heart sped up.

  “Look.” He raked a hand through his hair. “Tonight, before your dad showed up… It was good. Right?”

  She nodded, holding her breath, not wanting to say the wrong thing.

  “So… What do you say about, you know, going back to where we were before he arrived?”

  Say? She didn’t want to say anything. She wanted to scream it for everyone to hear.

  But she did show some restraint.

  “I’d like that very much, Tanner. I don’t want to go to bed alone tonight.”

  “Then don’t.” He held out his hand.

  To Juliet, it felt like a lifeline.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Tanner placed the carton of eggs on the counter in Juliet’s tiny galley kitchen the next morning and set the pan down gently so the metal wouldn’t make any noise on the burner. Juliet needed her sleep.

  Which was the only reason he was out here making breakfast and not in there making love to her.

  Making love… There had to be a better term.

  Images from last night flashed through his mind. What they’d done together was so much more than having sex, but it wasn’t making love. Sure, he cared for her. He always would; she had that right. But he wasn’t in love with her. He couldn’t love someone who couldn’t be honest.

  But he could still care about her. He could care about the memories.

  He cracked the eggs for her breakfast. Scrambled; that was the only way she liked eggs. Not hard-boiled, not poached, not over-easy… Just scrambled. She didn’t even like omelets, though he put in enough cheese and ketchup and thyme that it might constitute one if she didn’t insist on having the eggs chopped up.

  Funny how he remembered that after all these years.

  He tossed a couple of slices of bread into the toaster oven, poured two glasses of OJ, and looked through her fridge for some breakfast meat while the eggs were cooking.

  He smiled. He could give her some breakfast meat…

  While it was funny, it was also sad. If this were real, if they were really married and this was any other normal weekend, he might actually turn off the stove and go do that. He could always make more eggs.

  For a few moments, the idea was tempting. Which showed just how not a good idea it was. He was staying put.

  But then he heard the kitten meowing.

  He closed the fridge door. Breakfast meat wasn’t all that healthy anyway.

  He turned the flame off then headed to the laundry room where they’d put the little thing when she’d tried to join them in the bed last night.

  “Hey, baby. What’s the matter? You missing your buddies at the store?” He held the kitten up to his chest, then she clawed her way to his shoulder and licked his ear.

  He scratched the top of her head then headed back into the kitchen. “Have I got a surprise for you, kiddo.”

  He turned the burner back on, flipped the eggs, then cut off a tiny piece for the kitten. He stuck it on his shoulder, ignoring her claws piercing his skin as she balanced herself there. Good thing he had broad shoulders.

  “You are not feeding her people food.”

  He spun around at Juliet’s indignant voice. “Um… yeah?”

  “Tanner, you can’t do that. She needs to eat her kitten chow.”

  “You’re telling me that you think hard pieces of hard, crunchy whatever-they-are are better for her than a natural egg?”

  “Kittens aren’t supposed to eat eggs.”

  “Think about that statement, Jules.” He tossed the eggs one more time then turned off the heat before he flipped the bread over in the toaster oven to brown on the other side. He opened the fridge door—slowly because the kitten was still trying to get comfortable on his shoulder and those claws were sharp—and grabbed the butter from the tray on the door.

  “If she didn’t know any better, then she wouldn’t know any better.” Juliet picked up the glasses and set them on the table.

  “It’s too early in the morning for word puzzles.”

  “I’m just saying, she can’t miss something she never had. Now that you’ve given it to her, she’s going to miss it when she can’t have it again.”

  He shut the fridge door but didn’t turn around, sucking in a breath. “Is that commentary about last night?”

  “What—? Oh.”

  He heard her chair scrape against the tile floor but didn’t turn around to see if she was sitting in it. He couldn’t. He didn’t want to see regret on her face. Didn’t want to feel it when looking at her. He didn’t regret last night—unless she did. Or, unless she was thinking of making it more than it was.

  Maybe it was more than he thought it was. After all, something had compelled him to make that invitation after her father left.

  Damn it, he should have listened to his conscience last night and just walked away.

  But then he would have missed out on holding her. Which had been great.

  Until he’d woken up with his usual morning wood. Hence the reason he’d come into the kitchen.

  He shifted his legs, hoping to hide any evidence of it. “Any word about your grandmother this morning?” As a change of subject, it probably wasn’t the best choice, but it was the first one he could think of to get off the topic of last night.

  “No. But I want to go over there. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. She’s seen you, knows you’re here, has perked up some. That should be good enough.”

  He plated their eggs and toast, and carried them over to the table. “So one and done? You really think she’s going to go for that? Your grandmother might be weak, but she’s still as sharp as ever. I’m here, might as well use me.” That didn’t come out right. “I mean, I might as well put in some face time with her. Make it believable.”

  “Thank you, Tanner. I really appreciate the offer.”

  “You’re welcome.” He shrugged, then grabbed the kitten before she slid down his back, taking a few layers of skin with her.

  He set her on the floor with another piece of egg.

  Juliet raised an eyebrow when he faced her again.

  “What? I can’t help it. I have a soft spot for kittens. Sue me.” He dug into his own eggs. “And speaking of the kitten, do we have a name yet or do I have to keep calling her baby?”

  “I was thinking of Houdini, but she’s a girl and he wasn’t.”

  “As Mrs. Houdini was very happy to find out, I’m sure.” Tanner swallowed another forkful of egg. “Why not name her that? Lot’s of people use gender-neutral names. Houdini was his last name, so it can be any gender you want.”

  She smiled and it was as if the sun rose in her kitchen.


  Tanner shook his head. For God’s sake, one night of sex in seven years and he turned into a poet.

  His cue to get out of here while he still could.

  He shoveled in his eggs. “How about you shower while I clean up? Then it’ll be my turn and then we’ll be on our way.”

  “What? You don’t think I should show up at Nana’s looking like this?” She patted her hair.

  Instantly, he was thrust back to last night when he’d had his hands in that hair—

  He bent down to pet Houdini who was clawing at his leg, probably looking for more eggs. Juliet had been right. If he’d never had a taste of her last night, he wouldn’t be wanting more today.

  He sat back up and shoveled the rest of his eggs in. Looked like it was another cold shower for him.

  ***

  “Gin. I win again.” Nana dragged the poker chip to the stack in front of her. “You aren’t letting me win, now, are you, Tanner?”

  “No, ma’am.” Tanner tilted his hat back and leaned back in his chair, resting it on the two back legs. “I know better than to let you do anything.”

  “That’s right. It’s not worth anything if you don’t do it yourself.” Nana shuffled the cards.

  Juliet was amazed at the change in her. A week ago, Nana had barely been able to get out of bed, so to see her now, sitting here, playing cards for—Juliet checked her cell phone—over an hour… She’d made the right choice in bringing Tanner back.

  The downside to Nana’s great improvement, however, was that Tanner wouldn’t have to stay for very long. Once Nana was back to her normal self, they could come clean and he could go, taking the mortgage and her heart with him.

  “Cheer up, Juliet.” Nana dealt the new round. “My winning streak can’t go on forever. You’ll win a game, I’m sure.”

  Juliet fanned her cards—not a pair in sight. Sigh. “Maybe if we keep playing for another hour, but you need your rest.”

  “Balderdash.” Nana shifted the cards in her hand. “I’ve had so much rest in that darn hospital, I didn’t think I was ever going to wake up again. It feels so good to be home and among my familiar surroundings. Don’t you agree, Tanner?”

  Tanner tapped his hand on the table. “I think it’s good for you to be home. I hear people recover better when they’re out of the hospital.”

  “I meant you. It must feel good to finally be able to settle in and relax at home. Juliet picked a nice cozy place for the two of you, didn’t she? I really wanted you both to move in here at the ranch, but she said she wanted her own place. Something for just the two of you. Can’t say that I blame her. I remember when William and I first got married… We definitely needed our alone time.”

  Juliet felt her face flame in light of last night.

  It burned hotter when Tanner glanced at her. “But Juliet and I didn’t just get married.”

  Nana waved her hand then reached for a card from the draw pile. “That’s just semantics. You’ve spent enough time apart that it must seem like a second honeymoon now that you’re together again.” She tossed a card onto the table.

  Tanner picked up the discard and slid it into his hand. “Something like that.”

  “Oh, lord. There goes me and my big mouth. I guess some things are private after all, but I’m just so darn tickled pink that you’re here and we can be a real family that I guess I forget myself. Don’t mind me. I’m just happy you’re home.”

  Juliet took her turn, drawing a three to go with all the other unrelated cards in her hand, content to let her grandmother do the talking for her since she was saying everything Juliet wished she could.

  “Well, I’m glad you’re happy Nana. It’s good to see you up and around.”

  “It’s good to be up and around. I have a whole new lease on life. Things like strokes and whatnot, they make you examine your priorities. What you want out of life.”

  Juliet knew what she wanted and he was sitting across from her.

  Nana played her hand. “I’ve decided to volunteer at the hospital when I’m well enough. Do you know how lonely and depressing it can be when you don’t have any visitors?” She discarded the card she drew from the deck. “I was lucky that I had a slew of visitors, but some of those folks didn’t have anyone. Half of the flowers Burt’s clients sent me went to those patients. The scent was just too overpowering in my room and what did I need all of those for anyway? Though I did keep the bouquet you and Juliet sent.”

  Oh crud. Juliet forgot to mention that.

  “I always did love bluebonnets, my dear boy.” Nana patted his hand. “Now, play your hand. I have a feeling I’m going to be winning this round.”

  Penelope knew she was going to be winning this round. And a whole lot more. Poor Tanner looked thunderstruck at the mention of the flowers.

  And Juliet thought she could pull one over on her? Ha. She hadn’t been born yesterday and that girl needed a lot more years under her belt to come anywhere close to it, especially if these two thought they were fooling her. She knew just what they were doing and why they were doing it.

  They thought she’d had this big, nasty stroke and they were worried. She let them think that even though she’d had a less-severe TIA and was milking it for all it was worth so she could plant the ideas in Juliet’s head. Or should she say, bringing out the ideas that were already in Juliet’s head so her granddaughter could act on them?

  Penelope knew just what she was doing. Just like with the bluebonnets. Why, anyone had been able smell Juliet a mile away when that boy had been around. She’d poured the bluebonnet lotion on like it was water, and Penelope had known why.

  How did those kids think those flowers had gotten there anyway? William had trucked in an 18-wheeler’s worth to give her that instant field. She, too, had smelled like bluebonnets for years. Still kept a dried sprig of the first one he’d given her in the book beside her bed. And she’d been known to dab on some lotion every so often.

  These kids thought they had the market cornered on romance. Ha. What they didn’t know wouldn’t even fill her teacup. And as long as she could keep Tanner around, they weren’t going to stand a chance against her.

  “Gin.” Lucky in cards, unlucky in love her patootie. She’d had a wonderful marriage and her matchmaking efforts were going to work out just as well for her granddaughter.

  “Again?” Juliet sighed and tossed her cards onto the table. “Maybe I should call you Houdini instead of the kitten since you seem to be able to whip up cards out of thin air like magic.”

  “Ah, but everyone has their own kind of magic, Juliet.” Penelope took the winning poker chip and stacked it on her pile. “Want to take a break?”

  “Why? Do you need one?” Juliet jumped out of her chair and was around to Penelope’s side in a flash.

  She did so love her granddaughter.

  “No, I’m fine. But you two might need a breather from the trouncing I’m giving you. Besides, there’s something else I want to do while I have you both here.”

  “What is it?” Tanner, bless his heart, gathered the cards and stacked them neatly in the center of the table.

  He was going to have to move them for what she had in mind.

  “I’d like you to get that box over there.” She pointed to the box she’d had Burt gather for her. He’d grumbled the entire time, but when she’d pointed out that this was to help solidify Juliet’s marriage, he’d stopped complaining.

  Her son loved his daughter and only wanted to see her happy. No man would ever be good enough for Juliet in Burt’s eyes, but he did acknowledge that there’d been a time when Tanner had truly loved her. Penelope had tried to convince her son that Tanner still did love Juliet, that he’d left because he’d been so hurt by what she’d done. If anyone should understand, it should be Burt. But he wasn’t about to admit that.

  That was why her lil ol’ TIA had come into play. She shrugged off the niggle of guilt at worrying her son and lying to everyone. This was for the greater good. She needed to g
et these two together so they could live happily ever after and give her and Burt some babies to enjoy.

  Which was why she was about to put the next phase of her plan into action.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Maybe lying to her grandmother hadn’t been such a great idea. Juliet came to this great realization as Nana had Tanner unload photo albums onto the table.

  She didn’t want to relive where they’d been. That wasn’t why she’d brought him here; she wanted to think about the future. Move forward. How could they do that by wallowing in the past?

  Tanner wouldn’t look at her. He had to be as uncomfortable about this as she was, so she was thankful he hadn’t gotten up and left. She couldn’t have explained that to Nana. After all, if they were reconciled, why would pictures of their past upset him?

  Thankfully, the albums held good memories—a lot of she and Tanner together since their families had been close before his father had gotten too deep with his gambling debts.

  “Who’s this, Nana, with Dad?”

  “Her? Oh, that’s Nancy. Nancy Hillson. She was a lovely lady, but your father didn’t quite see it.”

  “Dad? You mean he dated her?”

  “Only once or twice I believe.”

  Juliet studied the picture. The woman wasn’t ringing any bells. “Did he date any other women?” Because that wasn’t ringing any bells either.

  Nana took the picture and looked at it. “Not really. I think there were one or two others. I’d had hopes for Nancy, but…” Nana sighed and put the picture down. “He said he wasn’t ready. Didn’t think it was a good idea to introduce someone new in your life.”

  Juliet had asked her father for a baby sister at one point and the look on his face had ended that discussion then and there. Now, knowing what she knew about her mother, she could see why he’d been hesitant to bring women into her life if they weren’t going to stay, but it was a shame that he was alone now.

 

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