by Amy Briggs
After she sat, we stared at each other, while I leaned against an oversized chair across from her. Neither of us spoke for what seemed like quite a while, when she once again shocked me.
“Are you expecting me to fuck you, Ryder?” Her mouth always killed me. She deserved some kind of punishment for talking to me like that, under the circumstances, and while I was establishing my dominance, but I couldn’t help laughing.
“No, Lucy, I’m not.” I chuckled as I spoke.
“Well, what is it that you want exactly? I believe that I’m aware of what my obligations are, but we may as well lay it out on the table here. I certainly wasn’t expecting to be matched with you,” she said, almost apologetically. Her tone gave me a twinge in my chest, almost deterring me from my goals in this arrangement.
“Lucy, I cannot begin to tell you how surprised I was to have been matched with you,” I began, when she interrupted me.
“So why didn’t you stop it? I’m not allowed to, but you are. You could have asked for someone that was more suited to… meet your needs.” She glared at me.
“Meet my needs? Do you have any idea what my needs are, Lucy? I don’t think you do. So let’s get something straight right now. I don’t owe you any explanations. You’re getting paid - very well, I might add - to be here. You agreed to this arrangement, regardless of who it was with. My needs, as you so delicately put them, are to have a reliable companion that looks and acts like my girlfriend for functions, dinners, and whatever else I need. This is a business arrangement. Like any other business arrangement. The fact that it was you they sent means nothing to me.” I forced out the last statement with a terribly sour taste in my mouth. It was such a lie.
Just seeing her expression when I told her it meant nothing to me that she was sitting ten feet away from me created a pit in my stomach that felt like a chasm. Her eyes became glassy, resembling the pool we used to swim in together as kids, and I began to question whether I could go through with an entire year with her like that.
Her demeanor softened, and she quietly responded, “I understand. So what would you like me to do? I’ve brought a few things with me, and I believe the rest of my belongings will be coming? I plan to keep my own apartment, so the only thing I need are my clothes and such, as well as a few books. Is that alright with you?” She became subservient in her tone.
Unsure of how to move forward, I simply said, “Whatever you need, we will have packed and collected for you. Just make a list and give it to Jacob. If you need something that I do not have, also let Jacob know. He will be your driver, and your bodyguard, so to speak, when you are not with me.”
“Okay,” she said quietly, watching my body language.
As I stiffened my posture, uncomfortable with the mood of our exchange, I added, “We have dinner tonight at 8pm. I will need you to dress up for this; we’re meeting a potential client downtown at that new place that just opened. I can’t remember what it’s called, but it’s fancy. You can do fancy, I presume?” I added the douchey comment on the end for myself. I needed to be reminded that it wasn’t a high school reunion with my former love. It was business. Regardless of how beautiful and vulnerable she looked, it wasn’t my job to comfort her. It hadn’t been my job in almost six years.
“Yes, I can do that,” she replied, stiffening her posture as well. Making her uncomfortable, and mildly embarassed was the only way that this was going to work. “Where should I get ready?”
Chapter 7
Lucy
Ryder fucking Donahue. He wasn’t the same as when I left him, that’s for sure. Oh, he was still gorgeous. With that beautiful blond hair he kept running his hand through, and that laugh. He may have been laughing at me, but the sound of his chuckle send chills through me. He had aged a bit and added some deliciously sexy scruff, but his eyes had become empty. He used to have a sparkle in those green eyes. That sparkle was gone, and there was nothing left but a bitter, emotionless man, who clearly wanted to punish me for my past choices. Were they mistakes? Maybe. The way he talked to me, though, like an employee, stung. I didn’t want it to, and I thought it wouldn’t. I thought I was braver than that, that I’d moved on, but seeing him look at me with disdain caused my heart to shrivel. An entire year of this. That’s what I’d signed up for. It was heartbreaking to see him, and my heart was going to break every day for a year.
Jacob had placed my things in a bedroom that was across the hall from Ryder’s master suite. At least he didn’t expect me to sleep in his bed with him. I don’t think I could have handled that. I stared at myself in the mirror of my en suite bathroom, brushing my hair. My eyes had become glassy and red from fighting back the tears. I wasn’t sure if they were angry tears or sad tears; perhaps both. As I put on fresh makeup, styled my hair, and freshened up, I gave myself a pep talk. My goals were still being met; I was already going to dinner with a rich and powerful man and his business colleagues. That is what I wanted. I reminded myself that it was just business, as I stepped into the black shift dress that I’d packed for myself.
I heard a light knock on the bedroom door before he entered cautiously. “Lucy? Are you just about ready?” he called out from the doorway.
“Yes, I’m in here. I just need a moment, and perhaps your help?” I wasn’t able to zip my dress up in the back. Poor planning on my part, but too late to do anything about. Besides, if we were going to be roommates, which is how I’d decided to position our arrangement in my head, I was going to need help sometimes.
As I stepped out of the bathroom, I sucked in my breath when I saw him. He was wearing a beautifully tailored suit, and a sly smile. He had left his blond stubble which, coupled with the conservative suit, was incredibly sexy.
“What can I do for you Lucy?” he asked, smiling softly at me. In that moment, he wasn’t the man that almost brought me to tears earlier.
“I… uh… need help with my zipper, please?” I stepped toward him, my heart rate picking up in anticipation of his touch.
“Of course,” he said as I turned around, sweeping my long hair away from my back. His fingertips gently touched my hip and he slowly zipped the back of my dress with his other hand, lingering at the top. “You look beautiful,” he whispered before pulling away.
Shifting my weight nervously, I turned back around, staring at the ground before meeting his eyes. “Thank you,” I whispered, unsure of how to feel.
“Lucy,” he sighed, nervously running his hand through his hair again.
“Yes?”
“This doesn’t have to be awful, okay? We have a past. It happened. We’ll deal with it. I need you to be my girlfriend right now, and it would be much easier if we had an understanding - contract aside.” He furrowed his brows in concern.
“What do you mean, Ryder?” I wanted to accept the olive branch he was extending, but the apprehension over pecking order and his implied need of my subservience ate at the back of my mind.
“I mean, let’s call a truce. We have a contract. It is what it is. Your companionship is important to me and my business, or I wouldn’t have contacted Infidelity in the first place, okay? We both know what happened after high school, but that was a long time ago, and for this to be a convincing arrangement, we need to move on. Can you do that?” His tone was almost pleading.
“I can do that, but can I ask you for one favor? A personal favor?” I asked.
“Yes, whatever you want.” He didn’t question me.
“Please introduce me as Lucinda. Nobody calls me Lucy, except you. It’s important to me.” Lucy didn’t exist anymore, or she hadn’t, until he came back into my life. Lucy wasn’t for everyone else; she was the old me, the private me, that I wasn’t willing to share. Lucinda was who I wanted to be known as.
“That’s fair. You can be Lucinda to everyone else. But you’ll always be Lucy to me,” the corner of his lips curling into a half smile.
I smiled a genuine, appreciative smile. His Lucy. I hadn’t been his Lucy in so long, and yet it suddenly fel
t like yesterday. The summers we spent at the shore together, walking on the boardwalk, holding hands. I thought back to the times that we skipped school on Friday afternoons to go to the beach. It didn’t have to be summer for us to do that. Even in the winter, we’d bundle up, and head to the beach with not a care in the world.
My mother never cared - she was too drunk most of the time - so I never got into trouble for it. But Ryder’s parents used to get so angry when they would find out that we’d bailed on the last half of the day and taken off. He used to get grounded, but would sneak out and throw sticks at my window until I’d meet him outside on my porch.
He held his arm out to me, stirring me from my thoughts. “Shall we go, Miss Quinn? We have reservations.”
“Oh yes, of course,” I smiled, taking his arm with my hand and following him out.
On the way to the restaurant, I realized that I had never resigned from my waitressing job. My cell phone started to vibrate incessantly when I finally pulled it out to see who was calling; I took note of four missed calls, and no fewer than five text messages.
“Shit,” I muttered under my breath.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, sitting next to me in the back seat of the sedan.
“I… uh… I had a job. And I was supposed to be there tonight. In the flurry of today’s news and activity, I neglected to let them know I would not be there.”
“What job would you need to be at this time of night?” He seemed annoyed.
“I’ve been working a second job, as a… uh… cocktail waitress,” I admitted, feeling beneath him.
“I’ll take care of it,” he said.
“You’ll what?”
“I’ll take care of it. Let me know the name of the place, and I’ll handle it. You certainly don’t need that job, and I need you free in the evenings anyway. But I can see that you’re worried about how that would look, just walking away, so I’ll handle it,” he replied matter-of-factly.
“What will you do?”
“Not to worry.” He took my hand and squeezed it gently before turning his gaze out the window.
“Ryder?”
“Yes, Lucy?” He turned his attention back to me fully, meeting my eyes.
“Why do I need a bodyguard? I mean, I get you don’t want me driving around town or whatever, and this is lovely to be driven everywhere, but you said that Jacob was also my bodyguard. What does that mean?”
Inhaling deeply, he scanned my face. “Lucy, in my business, I sometimes work with, or for, some people that could be considered… let’s say nefarious. Now, what I do is all behind the scenes technology stuff, but you are mine. And I do not want anyone I deal with thinking or believing otherwise. You need to be protected like any other valuable. It’s just a precaution. Do you understand?”
“Do you think that someone would hurt me?” I was nervous and confused.
Sensing my concern, or perhaps my confusion, he took my hand in his again and turned his body toward mine. As I looked up at him through my lashes, I felt vulnerable, and yet protected as well. “I assure you, Lucy, that no one - and I mean no one - will ever hurt you. This is merely a safeguard that gives me peace of mind when you cannot be with me.” He furrowed his brow, looking for my understanding.
“So I don’t need to be worried?” I asked one more time, for reassurance.
“No, you definitely don’t need to be worried,” he replied, gently squeezing my hand, and moving it to his lap, where he kept it the remainder of the ride.
Chapter 8
Ryder
Sitting in the car with her, holding her hand, brought so many memories back. I wanted to be angry with her, I wanted to make her feel bad, and yet all I could do was try to reassure her that she’d be safe with me. I thought about all the times that we’d spent holding hands; there were too many to recall. We had always been affectionate. I was connected to her in some way all the time when we were together, whether it be my hand placed gently on the small of her back, holding hands as we walked down the boardwalk in the summer, or with my arm around her just about anyplace we ever were together.
I never stopped caring about Lucy, and that had become painfully obvious in the few short hours that we were reunited. I wanted to touch her again, to smell the sweetness of her perfume. My mouth watered when I zipped up her dress, giving me access to what was once mine. Even though I barely touched her, the electricity that I always felt between us had rekindled, and my plan fell apart immediately. Not ready to let go, I kept her hand in mine after I’d reassured her that I’d keep her safe. Her touch was comforting in a way I had forgotten I needed.
Lucy’s safety was my number one priority. I’d had no credible threats, but there had recently been an issue with someone I was pursuing as a client. While not always appreciated out of the gate, I usually got new clients by hacking into their systems, and then introducing myself by way of showing them what I’d done. In most situations, the businesses and corporations were so grateful that I didn’t do anything heinous with the information I’d stolen, they’d hire me on the spot for whatever price I asked for. It was an unconventional, almost blackmail, approach to gain clients, however it worked. And I never threatened to do anything with the information I stole, ever.
About a month ago though, I had happened upon a pharmaceutical distributor and did my usual hack job, then reached out to their leadership like I normally would. They threatened me for stealing their data, which has happened before, however they didn’t threaten to call the authorities, which was well within their right to do. The threats were against me directly, and were far more outside the law in their implication. Now, I returned their data, as I always do, but their reaction left a bad taste in my mouth, and I had decided to become more careful and aware of my surroundings just in case. I had plenty of money to cover security, and there was no reason not to have it, especially for her.
“Who are we having dinner with?” she asked me, still holding my hand.
“No one. It’ll just be us tonight,” I replied, eliciting a small smile from her, which was enough for me to feel another slight pang of the old feelings creeping up again.
She didn’t need to know that I had made these dinner plans previously, and had arranged for a table for two when the new restaurant opened. I was a ‘see and be seen’ kind of guy in this town, and it was important for me to be at openings, and all the things I had mentioned when I hired a companion. Outside of the fact I needed to show up to the restaurant, I had wanted to spend some time getting to know whomever the companion was, before I’d known it was Lucy.
Having Lucy be my fake girlfriend was already creating cloudy judgement. So many mixed feelings about the past, coupled with her stunning fucking beauty, and then topped by her compliance with this ridiculous arrangement. I wondered if she’d gotten herself in trouble, and if that’s why she became an employee of Infidelity. Anxiously, I ran my other hand through my hair as I often did when I was feeling tense. An entire year. I felt like I was already losing my cool.
When we arrived at the restaurant, our hands slipped apart, creating even more mixed emotions for me. The turmoil I was generating in my own head conceived just enough self-doubt that began to question whether or not I could go through with this arrangement any further. For years, I’d been a rock. I’d trained my psyche to focus on work, on my future, on the next hack. Now, I was a walking cyclone of feelings I couldn’t label.
I must have been visibly uncomfortable, lost in my own thoughts, because after we’d ordered drinks, Lucy placed her hands on the table in front of her and leaned in, catching my attention.
“Are you okay?” she asked me. Loaded question, really. I was most certainly not okay, and as I tugged at the knot on my tie, she looked even more quizzically at me.
“Yes, of course, why do you ask?” I lied.
“Because you’ve run your hand through your hair about forty-two times since we arrived, and that’s basically your tell,” she smirked.
“M
y tell?” Fuck. I forgot that she actually knew me. She knew my quirks.
“Oh, come on. If we’re going to spend the next year together, pretending to be in a relationship, you may as well come clean. What’s got your panties in a twist?” she said brazenly.
“My panties in a twist?” I repeated.
“Yeah,” she said petulantly, egging me on.
Taking everything within me to gain my composure, I turned the tables back on her. “I’ll have you know that, one - my panties aren’t in a twist. I’ve had a long day, and in case you hadn’t noticed, this relationship we are in? It’s supposed to look real. So perhaps you should start acting like it.” I knew I was acting like a dick, but it was the only way to get my head back on straight.
As I suspected it would, her body language indicated her irritation and disappointment in my reply. Her shoulders dropped, and she leaned back, shaking her head. It looked like we were having a lover’s quarrel at dinner and we hadn’t even placed our order yet.
