“I’m sorry, Riley.” Cooper shrugged as if he didn’t know what else to say. Izzy squeezed his hand in encouragement.
“Is she coming for me?” Riley didn’t sound as if he wanted that to happen.
“Uh, no.” Cooper reached across the table and patted Riley’s arm, but his nephew jerked away from him.
“She doesn’t want me. No one wants me.” Riley lashed out like a wounded animal, tears starting to form in his eyes.
Izzy longed to make it better, but she feared nothing could fix what Riley’s mother had broken. “That’s not true, Riley. You have us.”
“For how long?” He looked from one to the other. When Cooper didn’t reply, Riley shoved back his chair and shot to his feet. The chair crashed to the floor, and Riley ran from the room.
Joker sat in the doorway, looking at them in that judgmental manner only cats have, then he turned and followed Riley up the stairs.
Cooper pushed his hand through his hair. “That didn’t go over so well.”
“Did you really expect it would?”
“Hell, no.” Cooper sighed. “I should go talk to him.”
“Let him be for a while. He needs time to process all this.”
“Process what? That his mother doesn’t want him once again? And he thinks I don’t either?” Cooper pulled his hand from hers and covered his face with both hands, groaning. “What a fucking mess.”
Izzy nodded. “Yeah. What are you going to do about your nephew?”
“I’ll be moving next year, and who knows—there are no guarantees in hockey—I could get traded during the season. That’s no life for a kid.”
“So says you.” She rolled her eyes. He was making feeble excuses, and he knew it. “You’re the man who moved all over the country as a military brat. Do you regret it?”
He looked like a trapped animal. “Uh, no, but Riley’s not me. He needs stability.”
“He needs the stability of people, not places. He needs to be able to count on one person in his life. Obviously, that person isn’t you.”
At least Cooper had the decency to look guilty, but she wasn’t done with him yet.
“You’re taking the easy way out. You love your life planned out. No disruptions. Exactly how you want it to be. That’s why you’re leaving at the end of the year. You want to control your destiny, and you’re scared shitless you might not fit in Ethan’s future plans so you’re bailing first and using your past in Seattle as the excuse.” She leaned forward and tapped his chest. “You, Cooper Black, are a spineless coward, afraid to take risks.”
“Spineless coward?” He stood and straightened his shoulders, raising his chin. His eyes shone with defiance. Izzy resisted the urge to smile. Cooper wouldn’t back down from a challenge, and she’d played him perfectly. Now what he chose to do with her challenge would be up to him.
“You’re just going to throw him away,” she said just to add a little more incentive behind her challenge.
“I’m not throwing him away. I’m sending him to live with my parents in a few weeks when they get back from their Europe trip.”
“And when were you going to tell him that? And me?”
Cooper had the decency to look sheepish. “Soon. I just found out myself. I called them after we talked to Julie.”
“At least let him stay through the football season. Don’t uproot him now.”
Cooper chewed on that for a moment. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt.”
Izzy glared at him, sad and pissed for Riley. Not only did he face rejection from his mother but from Cooper as well.
“You’re an asshole,” Riley yelled from the doorway, startling both Izzy and Cooper. A few seconds later, they heard Riley’s footsteps pounding up the stairs.
“I wonder how long he’s been standing there?” Cooper sighed and put his head in his hands, looking tired and defeated. Izzy almost felt sorry for him. Almost.
“Long enough.”
“I should go talk to him.” Cooper hedged, as if he were hoping she’d give him a reason not to.
“Yes, you should.” Izzy refused to cut him any slack. Their eyes met, and Cooper nodded, his mouth drawn in a grim line.
Cooper went upstairs, while Izzy waited. She clenched her hands together and prayed it’d work out for all of them.
A few minutes later, Cooper trudged back down the stairs, his shoulders slumped and his eyes troubled. “His door was locked. He wouldn’t talk to me. Told me to go to hell. I guess I deserve that.”
Izzy didn’t deny the fact or sugar coat her answer. “Somewhat. You’re just one more person who’s abandoning him.”
“My parents can do a better job than I can. This is for the best.” Only Cooper didn’t sound so convinced. In fact, he looked downright conflicted.
“Are you sure, Cooper? Are you really sure?”
“I’m not fucking sure of anything anymore.” He shook his head and scrubbed his hands over his face. Izzy went to him and put her arms around him. She might be pissed as hell at him when it came to Riley, but she could see he was hurting. He wrapped her in his arms and held her close.
“I didn’t think it would be this difficult,” he whispered in her ear.
Izzy smiled against his cheek. He might pretend he didn’t care, but he did, and she’d do everything in her power to show him how much Riley meant to him.
And how much he meant to her.
She grabbed his hand and led him to bedroom.
They needed time to sort this out, see where things went, but right now they needed time in each other’s arms.
Yet it broke her heart to think of Riley alone in his room with nobody.
* * * *
Two weeks later, life went on, and November wasn’t exactly starting out well. Cooper’s convictions to send Riley to his parents wavered. He didn’t have all the answers anymore. Instead he had questions, lots and lots of questions.
Cooper lay on his back, stroking Izzy’s hair. She slept soundly next to him. He couldn’t sleep. Too many things ran through his mind over and over.
His sister’s blame.
His own guilt.
Riley’s hurt.
Izzy’s disappointment.
For a man who prided himself on controlling every aspect of his life, Cooper didn’t have one ounce of control over the recent incidents in his life, except maybe his hockey game. Though lately, even that seemed to be spiraling out of control.
Coach had called him into his office before the last road trip and chewed his ass, giving him the I don’t give a shit what’s happening in your personal life, but you’re a professional, behave like one. This team expects nothing less from its captain.
That three-game road trip had come and gone, and Cooper had actually looked forward to getting out of town and away from the tension in his house. The Sockeyes won two and lost one. Cooper played okay, but he wasn’t on his game, and everyone knew it.
The team lost last night’s home game and neither Riley nor Izzy attended. Cooper played like shit, which seemed to be the norm for him lately. The guys looked at him as if he were jinxed. He even caught Brick crossing himself when Cooper walked by, and Brick wasn’t Catholic.
Riley barely spoke to him. Izzy only talked about superficial, meaningless things and hadn’t said I love you once, not even in response to his declarations of love. Wasn’t everything supposed to go better than this when two people told each other they loved each other? Instead everything had fallen apart.
Cooper had created this hot mess, and he just wanted things back the way they were, only he didn’t know how to get back there.
“Cooper?” Izzy raised her head and met his gaze. Despite all the stuff between them, the sex couldn’t be better.
“Yeah.” He smiled at her as she crawled up his body until they were face to face.
“I’ve decided to stay at Betheni’s when you’re home from now on.”
“What?” He sat up abruptly, causing her to slide off his body. She wrapped the sheets
around her and sat up, too.
“I think we need some distance. We both know this isn’t going anywhere. It’s better to cut it off now than wait and make it that much harder.” She wouldn’t look him in the eyes.
“Like hell we aren’t going anywhere. I love you.” He stumbled over the last word as his throat constricted, and he choked up.
“I know, but as I once said, love isn’t always enough.” She covered her face, and he was pretty sure she was crying.
“Izzy. Please. Don’t do this.” He was begging like a wuss, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t lose her. She’d become as big of a part of his life as hockey.
“I’ve stayed too long as it is, hoping you’d change, but nothing has changed, least of all you.”
“But I have changed. You gave me access to your location via the stalker app, and I haven’t shown up at one of your parties, have I?” God, he sounded like a pathetic weakling, but right now he didn’t care about his male ego. He cared about convincing her to stay.
She nodded. “No, you haven’t, but there’s more to trust than that. Whatever demons you have locked inside you, won’t let go so you can move on.” Izzy sighed and turned her back to him. She buried her head in her hands. He could tell by her shaking shoulders she was crying, sobbing crying. He reached for her, but she pulled away, and he let her go.
“We can make this work. Give me a chance,” he begged, not caring how pathetic he sounded.
“I’m not leaving Seattle. Not for all the wrong reasons.” She looked up at him with red and swollen eyes. Even so, she was gorgeous, beyond beautiful.
“And you think I’m leaving for the wrong reasons?” God, this hurt. He hurt more inside than he had when he’d been slammed into the boards by Judson Phillips and broken three ribs.
Izzy nodded, as if unable to speak. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and he longed to kiss them away and make her smile again. Only he couldn’t because she wouldn’t let him.
Cooper watched in stunned silence as Izzy gathered her clothes and put them on. He swallowed back the lump clogging his throat and wondered how he’d survive without her.
Chapter 19—Comeback
Izzy sat on the leather couch in Cooper’s family room and stuffed popcorn in her mouth. At this rate, she’d be fatter than a pig in no time. Her jeans were tighter, that’s for sure. In a few weeks, it’d be Thanksgiving, but she wasn’t feeling overly thankful.
It was Friday night, and Cooper had been gone for over a week on a two-week road trip, and dammit, she missed the big muscle-bound jock. And how flaky was that? She’d dumped him for the final time. She shouldn’t miss him. She should be thrilled that she’d freed herself from a man with baggage he kept locked tight instead of trusting her enough to open up his heart and let her see him, bumps, bruises, and all.
Whatever happened during that Seattle summer, his sister blamed him, and he blamed himself—as a ten-year-old boy. How could he even begin to think he was responsible for what the adults in their lives did? But he did, and he seemed to hate Seattle for it. Cooper might be a private man, but even a private man should share his secret pain with the woman he professed to love. She shouldn’t stay with a man like that, but she couldn’t completely let him go either.
Obviously, he felt the same way because he called and texted her on a regular basis, as if nothing had happened, and Izzy couldn’t bring herself to tell him they were supposed to be through. Maybe because she knew they weren’t.
No one was perfect, and she had her faults just as he did. After all, she was estranged from the twins because she wouldn’t accept Avery’s career choices.
Then there was Riley. Izzy didn’t quite understand why Riley was still here. Cooper’s parents were back from Europe and had flown out last weekend to meet Riley, presumably to take Riley home with them. Yet they left without him. Izzy didn’t ask Cooper why as it was none of her business. Or she pretended it wasn’t.
Riley, in the meantime, seemed to be dealing with his world the best way he knew how, one day at a time. He didn’t mention his mother once. The few times Izzy broached the subject, he steered the conversation to football or something equally less painful. He was like Cooper when it came to locking the bad stuff inside and going about his business. Izzy didn’t consider it healthy behavior for either of them, but it was how they coped. Just like she coped when it came to Avery by refusing to admit she might be wrong.
She glanced over at Riley. He was curled up in Cooper’s big recliner watching some adventure movie on TV. He didn’t seem to notice her staring at him. Boys and car chases. She smiled as she shook her head.
Izzy opened up a book on her iPad and tried to get into it, but she couldn’t. Finally she put it on the coffee table.
Riley glanced up and muted the TV. “You okay?”
“You were right, Riley,” she admitted.
“I’m always right.” He grinned. “But remind me what I’m right about this time.”
She gave him a playful sock on the arm. “My sister. I need to accept her as she is.”
Riley nodded, rubbing his shoulder as if she hurt him. “I did that with my mom a long time ago. As much as I’d love for her to be different, I have no control over what she does.”
“No, you don’t.”
“At least what your sister does isn’t self-destructive.” Riley watched her with those old eyes of his.
Izzy almost argued that point. In her mind, Avery’s pursuit of a career with horses was somewhat self-destructive, but Izzy understood what Riley was saying. Her sister could have a worse addiction than horses.
Making her decision, Izzy stood and gestured to Riley. “Are you up for a ride out to the country?”
“Yeah, sure.” Riley hopped to his feet, ready to go. “I was bored with this movie anyway. Are you going to see your sister?”
Izzy smiled at him. “Yes. Yes, I am.”
Izzy grabbed the keys as Riley tagged along behind her. The heaviness around her heart lifted slightly, and she smiled to herself. She may not like her sister’s choices, but they were hers to make, and Izzy would support her anyway.
It was time to let go of something she couldn’t control, no matter how hard she’d tried.
Somewhat like she should let Cooper go.
Only she couldn’t.
* * * *
A half hour later, Izzy parked in front of the horse barn. Riley got out and followed her up the stairs, hanging back a little in case Izzy’s sisters slammed the door in her face.
“Betheni’s here, too,” Izzy noted.
“Is that good or bad?”
“Good, I guess. All three of them should hear what I have to say.” Izzy knocked on the door, and Riley noticed her hand was shaking.
Wow, that set him back on his heels. Izzy always seemed to have it together. She’d been a rock for Riley since he’d come here, along with Tanner, but he didn’t see much of Tanner now that the football season was in full swing, and Tanner was busy.
The door opened, and Betheni motioned them inside.
Pizza sat on a small kitchen table, and Riley’s mouth watered, even though he’d eaten a huge dinner a few hours ago. He couldn’t seem to get enough to eat anymore. His uncle said he’d been just like that when he’d been Riley’s age. Riley liked being like his uncle, even though he’d never tell him that.
Betheni must have caught him looking longingly at the pizza. “Riley, help yourself. We’re all stuffed.”
Riley glanced at Izzy, and she nodded her okay. He sat down and the table and dived in, pretty sure he could eat what was left all by himself. Besides, it kept him out of the line of fire. Nothing worse than a cat fight, and he avoided them at all costs. Females could be vicious.
Only no one seemed angry, more nervous, and worried, too.
Izzy motioned to her sisters to sit down, while she paced the floor in front of them. Riley ducked his head, pretending he wasn’t paying attention.
He wanted Izzy to be happy because he really
liked her. She’d become a big sister to him, and sometimes more of a mother than his mother could ever hope to be. At the thought of his mother, he got that sad, painful feeling inside, the one he’d been fighting for a while now. Mom didn’t want him. She’d pushed him off on Uncle Coop so she could stay with her loser boyfriend.
And now Uncle Coop would be pushing Riley off on his parents because Cooper didn’t want him either. Riley tried really hard to be good. He tried to stay out of Uncle Coop’s way, and not make any trouble, but it didn’t seem to matter. He didn’t like Riley. No one did because Riley wasn’t worthy of love. He wasn’t sure why, but that was sure as hell the message he got from his family, if you could call them a family.
Riley’s eyes grew hot with unshed tears. He hated that. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve and forced himself to focus on Izzy rather than his own problems.
“Avery,” Izzy said, “I’m sorry.”
Avery shook her head as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Sorry?”
Izzy nodded slowly and cleared her throat. “I won’t lie and say that I understand your passion for horses, but I will say that I was wrong. You have a right to do what you want with your life, and whatever it is, I’ll support you.” She looked to each of her sisters. “All of you. I’ve tried to be your parent and control your lives for too long, long after you were beyond the age to need me.”
“Izzy, we’ll always need you. We’ve appreciated everything you’ve ever done for us,” Avery said. “It means a lot to know that we’re okay.”
The other sisters dabbed at their eyes.
“I love you guys,” Izzy said.
All of sudden these women were hugging each other and crying. Riley stared at them, horrified that they might force him into this group hug, but they didn’t.
He kept his head down and wolfed down the last of the pizza while they giggled and jabbered and talked about nonsense stuff like girls did. At least everything was okay now for Izzy, and she could be happy.
Crashing the Net Page 22
