Why did Kate have to come home now? Why couldn’t she just stay away, marry, and never come home? Everyone would be far happier.
The anticipation of Kate returning always caused anxiety in Bianca’s stomach, but then there was her actual arrival. As usual, a wrenching duality of emotions seized her: an almost joyful longing, as if they were both still children, their mother alive, life good, and also that fear of what this adult Kate would do next. How she would torment her sister. Both feelings were equally unwelcome, and Bianca pushed them away until she was numb and uncaring. Until she could be as politely disinterested in the elegant young woman in front of her as she would with any stranger.
Bianca deliberately turned to Thomas first, hugged him, and spent an inordinately long time tickling him and generally ignoring Kate. Then, she planned to turn to her stepmother, but Henrietta was greeting Bianca’s father with a display of affection that never failed to irritate and embarrass Bianca. After all, if Henrietta truly loved him, she’d hardly gallivant about most of the year without him.
“How was Featherley?” Kate asked. Bianca reluctantly turned to her.
“It was fine.” She didn’t want to admit she’d had fun, to give her sister any room to ruin the experience, even in memory.
“We should tal—”
Before she could finish her sentence, Bianca cut her off, risking the wrath of Kate. “I’m very tired, though, from the journey.”
Then, rather rudely, she did exactly as she wished and left the hall. Her only regret was Luc, whom she didn’t dare look at for fear her expression would reveal everything to everyone.
Follow me, she thought, willing him to hear the words, to understand what she could not speak out loud.
Aside from the trunk the footmen had already deposited in her room, it was as she had left it. Yet it was different. She was different. Both more confident and more confused.
She answered the knock on her door with alacrity, but when the oak had swung out, there was Kate, bearing a brown paper–wrapped package.
“This is for you,” she said and Bianca eyed the bundle suspiciously. A bribe? A portent of misery to come? “Go on, take it,” she urged when Bianca didn’t reach for it.
After a long moment, Bianca did and, carrying the package, stepped back into her room.
Kate followed her.
Bianca deposited the package on the bed and then tore into it, all too aware that Kate was there, little but large, taking up space, endlessly irritating.
Beneath the carefully folded paper was a carefully folded cloth—a shimmery blue silk edged with lace. As she shook it out, the dress revealed itself, beautiful and delicate, unlike anything Bianca had ever owned. Far finer than even the new gowns she had purchased in the last few days.
It was exquisite.
“It reminded me of you. Of your eyes.”
“Thank you,” Bianca said slowly, uncomfortable with the seeming kindness. What lay behind this? What threat was still to come?
“I thought it would also be nice for the party. I didn’t realize you’d be going shopping in Eastbourne.”
There was an undercurrent to Kate’s words, and while in the past Bianca would have painstakingly analyzed them in order to protect herself, now she refused to waste her time.
“It’s a lovely dress, Kate. So kind of you to think of me.”
“Yes, well. I do hope it fits. You look much the same as when I last saw you. Perhaps a bit bigger around the bust. Try it on, will you?”
A bit bigger around the bust. And the hips and the arms. Everything was big to Kate, who was so petite and slender, it was easy to feel like a cow in comparison.
No. She wouldn’t try the dress on now. She would wait till she could see it in private, make any alterations necessary.
“Perhaps after dinner. Or tomorrow in the morning light. But it is such a pretty fabric!”
Kate smiled as if pleased by the compliment Bianca had forced past her lips. Somehow, miraculously, she managed to get her sister out of her room. She closed the door behind her, breathed in deeply until it felt like her room again. Until she was certain the hallway was clear.
Then, she slipped out the door and moved quietly to the back stairs.
She fled to the schoolroom, where Luc and Thomas had returned and were hard at work. Or at least Thomas was. Luc was standing by the window staring out.
He hadn’t followed her, but it was just as well considering Kate had.
He turned at her arrival and his face brightened. Or maybe it was simply that she felt bright inside, buoyant from joy at seeing him again.
He was hers alone. A secret Kate could not ruin.
“It’s still light outside, will be for hours,” she said breathlessly. “I propose a walk to the folly.”
Thomas jumped up with alacrity, as she knew he would, and Luc agreed easily. After all, it was merely an excuse for them to be together, away from the house, from anyone who might see them. And now that she knew Thomas knew, she didn’t have to worry about hiding from him anymore.
When they were over the hill and out of sight of the house, she took Luc’s hand in her own and pulled him toward her. She didn’t have to urge him more before she was in his embrace. She kissed him like she was starving, and she was. Eager to kiss him now that she knew her own emotions, now that his lips tasted like love.
Bianca was different. She looked at him differently. At first that ineffable change had frightened him, worried him that in those days apart he had lost ground, perhaps even lost his chance at winning her love completely. He worried, as he had during her absence, that she would meet someone else, that she would realize she could do far better than him, title aside. After all, she didn’t even know about his title and his wealth. He was forced to win her hand purely on his essential self, whatever that was.
But then, she had sought him out in the schoolroom. Everything between them was more intense and weighted. Their kisses more electric, her features more exquisite, his heart fuller and desperate for release.
But it was all tinged with an odd sadness. Perhaps it was that she, too, felt the pressure of the impending house party, of the presence of her sister and stepmother, which made their stolen moments rarer and more difficult.
At the same time, Peter had come through for him. Reggie’s brother seemed to show up day after day and occupy Kate’s time with this or that. This day, for example, Bianca had managed to escape discussing seating arrangements because good old Pete had insisted Kate and Henrietta accompany him back to his estate and choose flowers for their arrangements from his hothouse. A very generous offer and one clearly they would not turn down.
Which meant Bianca could accompany Luc and Thomas on their nature walk as they examined all the different types of leaves present on the estate.
He had become adept at structuring lessons that would send the boy haring off on scavenger hunts, giving him and Bianca precious moments alone.
Moments when they could hide behind the generous trunk of an oak tree. When he could study her lips with his own, draw the taste of her out with his tongue.
She moaned against his mouth and the sound vibrated through his body. He moved to her ear, breathing in the rose-scented fragrance of her hair as he nibbled at her soft skin.
He ran his hand down the curve of her back, to the indent of her waist, the thick folds of fabric pushed aside so that he could feel the shape of her beneath. She was exquisite in every way. In his mind, all the disparate images of her body that he had gained came together as an alluring whole. He longed to unfasten the buttons on her dress, slip it down over her shoulders, bare her to his view.
She moaned again, pressing her body against his, and he sucked in his breath, then seized her face with his other hand and claimed her mouth again, his own desperate and open, seeking a quenching for his thirst that no amount of kissing would ever satisfy.
At a noise, they broke apart.
“Thomas knows,” she said quietly.
&n
bsp; “Knows?”
“That we . . . that we . . .” Her cheeks were red with embarrassment, as if discussing the embrace were so much worse than the actual action.
“That we kiss?”
She smiled, eyes downcast. “We shouldn’t do this.”
He laughed at the familiar words that had become a jest, a way of saying “till tomorrow.” She laughed, too.
“Kiss me again,” he prodded. “That was just a leaf in the wind and in a matter of days this house will be overrun with guests and events that will keep us apart.”
Kiss me again, he thought, before I tell you my secret.
She lifted up on her toes.
“Bi . . . an . . . ca—”
They both stepped back at Thomas’s gasping arrival, but then Bianca paled and ran to her brother’s side. “Oh my God, Luc, help me get him back to the house. He’s having an attack.”
Luc paced in the empty schoolroom. He wasn’t there when the doctor spoke with the family. He didn’t know if the prognosis would change. If the boy would live to an old age or if, during one of the wheezing fits, he would suffocate from lack of air.
Nonetheless, Thomas was recovering. Weak and tired, but recovering.
Luc was still shaken. As he’d carried the young boy the half mile back to the house, he’d refused to look down, to focus on his desperate gasps. He could not help him other than to move faster, to eat up the distance with his long legs at a full run.
He cared for the boy. Somehow in the last weeks he’d begun to think of Thomas as his own younger brother. In truth, that was an easier role to play than tutor.
Now, it was Bianca’s terrified expression that lingered in his mind. And the gnawing knowledge that his proposal had gone unsaid. His identity remained secret. And all the guests would arrive tomorrow.
It would just have to wait.
But maybe tomorrow. If not, he would avoid the guests as best he could. Hope that no one he knew attended.
CHAPTER TEN
* * *
The afternoon was a cacophony of arrivals that grated on Bianca’s already frayed nerves. But Thomas was recovered enough to be in the schoolroom at his lessons, which meant that Bianca had no excuse to escape keeping her sister, stepmother, and Lottie company in the sitting room as they welcomed each new visitor.
The last house party the manor had seen was fourteen years ago. Bianca had only one memory of that time, when their nanny at the time had dressed the girls up in their finest and brought them down to be presented to the guests after dinner. Kate had recited a poem and Bianca had sung a song. They’d been feted and then returned to their rooms.
There were so many new people it was hard to keep track of them all. And that was just those who had already arrived.
There was a Frederick Graughton, slender, well-dressed, with a knowing smirk and a ready wit. From the first moment of their introduction he reminded her of the sly, amused Sir Clement Wetherby of Evelina.
A set of twins, fraternal—George and Lucy Stanbury. She would never have known them to be twins if they had not introduced themselves that way, which was quite interesting in and of itself.
Also there was Miss Stanbury’s companion, Louisa Elliott, a poor relation who had been roped into the role for the mere promise of room and board. Not that Bianca knew this to be true for certain, but she did know Miss Elliott was Miss Stanbury’s second-cousin and that the hems of the older woman’s dresses had been turned more than once. But it was a story as old as time, or at least very similar to many she had read in her books.
Then there was the Honorable Caroline Edmonton, who was nearly as petite as Kate but far more voluptuous, with bouncing red curls. Even though Bianca was predisposed to dislike this crowd, since they were Kate’s friends, she instantly liked Miss Edmonton. The redhead’s mischievous smile had a way of making everyone around her feel included in some grand secret.
Her mother, Lady Vane, who also sported a head of auburn hair, seemed to be a lovely woman and happened to be an angling enthusiast, which gave them something in common to discuss for a good half an hour.
Then there was the handsome Lord Lindley, who said he had heard wonderful things about the lovely Bianca from her sister and he was delighted to finally meet her. Such a bunch of drivel that Bianca knew instantly he was the sort of charming courtier one should stay away from unless she wanted to always be jealous of his next female conquest.
She was already exhausted by the time she met the unexceptional Miss Penelope Wildwood, with both her mother and father in attendance.
Jonathan Green arrived at the same time as the Wildwoods and she noted only that he wore a purple cravat.
According to Henrietta, two guests were not expected until the following day, a Mr. Bagley and a Mrs. Charles Wool.
Most of the guests were upstairs, resting after their journeys.
Bianca had no dislike of company. In fact, her week in Essex had reconfirmed her suspicion that once she was away from Watersham, once she was among a larger society, life would be far more enjoyable. However, today she was exhausted. Her composure was further strained by Kate’s pretense of being nice. At least when Kate was her usual horrible self, it was easier to disappear, find that happy place in her mind that floated in the fictional worlds she had read. That reimagined plots and sometimes wondered what if the characters in Miss Austen’s novels ever stepped into the characters of Mrs. Burney’s, the thirty-some years’ difference aside.
Thus, sitting on the window seat, watching Kate and George Stanbury play a game of chess, she was having difficulty being the best hostess to Lord Lindley. All she wanted was to either lie down in her room or to go to the schoolroom and be with Thomas and Luc, the two people who meant the most to her.
Amazing how life had changed so much in the last two months.
Thankfully, Luc would be there at dinner, as would Lottie. Which was the usual way of things, but Kate had called their inclusion provincial. Which, even Bianca, ignorant of the world as she was, knew to be true. Henrietta, however, had convinced her sister that it was best to not upset the structure of the house.
That was Henrietta’s usual modus operandi. And perhaps why Bianca’s father was so pleased with his second wife. She never scolded him or challenged his way of life. Other than to champion Kate’s wishes regarding Bianca. A slight that Bianca would never forgive.
“Are you as skilled at chess as your sister?” Lord Lindley asked. It was the third question he had asked that had referenced her sister. And his gaze had been trained on Kate for the last quarter hour. Occasionally Kate would look up from her game and smile brilliantly at him. Perhaps Lindley was Kate’s suitor.
Certainly he seemed fascinated by her sister. Despite everything, Bianca could see why. Kate was displaying none of her usual cruel antics. Maybe in London, no one knew anything of her hurtful nature. Maybe she was another person entirely. The thought nearly decimated.
Why could she be kinder to strangers than to her own sister?
“No. I cannot claim the skill.” In fact, Kate had stopped playing with her at one point because she said there was no challenge to be had. Of course, Lindley didn’t need to know that. As much as a little spiteful part of Bianca wanted to rattle off a list of her sister’s less appealing attributes, the sooner Kate was married, the better. “Do you play, my lord?”
“I do.”
“Have you played with Kate?”
“I have not yet had the pleasure.” He sounded intrigued, as if he could not wait to kick Stanbury out of the chair and take his place. Looking at the board, Stanbury was about to kick himself out with his careless moves in any event. “But I am gaining the advantage of studying her technique.”
“Surely fifteen minutes cannot reveal that much,” Bianca said.
“When one watches closely, a minute can reveal all.”
“Do you watch closely, my lord?”
For the first time he focused his attention fully on Bianca. His pale blue eyes were s
harp and she shifted uncomfortably under their sudden perusal. He smiled, and she relaxed. Then realized he had used that smile to make her relax.
Impressive.
“I try to, Miss Bianca.”
“Lord Lindley!” Kate cried. “Do tell Mr. Stanbury that there are better uses for his pawn than what he is about to do.”
Without hesitation, Lindley’s attention was back on Kate. From the satisfied expression on Kate’s face, Bianca knew that was her sister’s plan. Jealous of losing her beau’s attention to her sister? How . . . pitiful.
Surprise lightened her spirits even as the conversation continued around her, punctuated with laughter. This was a new perspective on Kate. That her sister was so small a person she might be jealous of the slightest bit of attention given to Bianca instead of her. That she was someone to pity than to fear.
How wonderful and freeing!
The revelation made the rest of the evening pass easier. Even as again and again, in all sorts of small ways, Kate did her usual Kate things. Oh, there were no tantrums, and someone who did not know Kate as well as she did might not be aware, but to Bianca it was very clear.
It made her bold. Made her glance down the table to where Luc sat more than once. Made her let her gaze linger on him a moment too long until he met her gaze. Let her indulge in the pleasure of that connection, even though she was so very tired and eager for the night to be at an end.
After dinner, as the women started to make their way to the sitting room, Luc caught her hand with just the slightest brush of his finger. Enough to let her know to pause, to wait for the whispered message.
“I need to see you. The day has been far too long.”
She agreed and she understood. “Thirty minutes. The library,” she returned and then she followed the women obediently out of the room.
Thirty minutes would be enough to have made an effort at conversation but not so long that the men would have joined yet. It would be easier for them both to beg off the evening separately.
He had watched her all evening. From the moment he had joined the company in the drawing room till the moment the women left the men to their port. She was tired and yet radiant, and he longed to wrap her up in his arms and keep her there forever.
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