She gazed up at Micah. “Our children’s futures come first, before our own. And even beyond that, there’s Mama.”
He raised his brows a fraction. “What about her?”
How could she tell him the truth? The last thing she wanted was to hurt him, but she couldn’t allow him to believe she didn’t care or that the children’s feelings were all that held her back. The Bible taught that truth set a person free. She surely hoped it would this time. She drew in a short breath. “She doesn’t like you.”
He chuckled, his eyes twinkling. “And you think you’re revealing something I didn’t already know?”
Katherine touched Micah’s hand, and his fingers wrapped themselves around hers. “She’s here to stay, Micah. Mama will live with me until God takes her home. I can’t imagine trying to have any kind of future together unless she changes her way of thinking. It would be too difficult living with that level of animosity. It’s hard enough now.”
“I am not giving up and walking away. Your mother may be here to stay, but I am not going anywhere either, Katherine. Until then I’ll choose to trust God is in control.” The words were spoken quietly, with a deep reverence and conviction.
“I agree, although I will admit it’s going to take a mighty big miracle where Mama is concerned. I just wish …” Tears rushed to the surface.
He brushed a drooping curl from her face, tucking it tenderly behind her ear. “What is it? Please tell me?”
“I’m not sure … It seems disrespectful somehow—”
“The way your mother treats you.” The words were a statement, not a question, and said with such certainty they caused Katherine to start.
“I’m ashamed it’s so obvious.”
“I hate seeing the hurt she causes.” A dark cloud swept over his features. “I want to ask how she could treat her own flesh and blood that way, but I doubt she would listen. It would probably make matters worse.”
Katherine nodded. “Yes, more than likely. She has always treated me this way, but I still haven’t figured out why she seems to have taken a dislike to you.”
“I think she sees me as a drain on you—someone who can’t pay his way and with a son to provide for. A man she assumes will never amount to anything.” His profile looked set in stone. “But I’m determined to not let that stop me. I shall treat her with kindness, regardless of her actions. Our children won’t be young forever, and I want your mother on our side when the time comes.”
Katherine could swim in the warmth of his eyes and drown in the passion coloring his voice, never coming up for air. “Thank you for that. I’ve never figured her out, and I have wondered if I’ve been unfair at times. Yes, she is prickly and oftentimes unkind, but recently I’ve gotten a glimpse of a lonely woman with very few friends. I want to help her, but I have no idea how. She has never allowed me to get close, and that hurts as well. Mrs. Roberts has been working hard to befriend her, but Mama seems afraid to allow a relationship to develop.” She wasn’t sure if she was conveying the strength of her mother’s fear.
Micah’s jawline was firm, determined. “I’m sorry, Katherine, but I don’t agree. She is a smart woman and should be able to see what she’s doing when her tongue runs amok.”
“Mama has her own set of rules. One is that she must be in control—and if I hesitate or don’t always agree, she assumes it means I don’t love her or that I’m angry. What she doesn’t understand is that I have my own thoughts, my own desires, my own needs. It does not mean she’s wrong or that I’m criticizing her, but we don’t always have to agree.” She heaved a sigh. “I so wish she could see that, but I doubt it will happen.”
She shook her head in frustration, then touched his arm. “You said you are choosing to trust God. Does that mean you’re no longer angry at Him?” Hope surged through her, and she didn’t even care that someone might notice that he was holding her hand.
“Not as much. It’s still hard for me to understand why Emma died, but I think He is starting to crumble the walls I’ve built. I have blamed God for everything that’s happened over the past couple of years, growing bitter and closing myself off from good, caring people who tried to show me His love.”
He waved his free hand toward the new building a short distance away. “God sent Pastor Seth to talk to me so many times, but it took the labor and sweat of the men of this community to show me that He hadn’t forgotten me. It was love in action that broke me. I never expected anything like this. I have a ways to go in trusting Him completely, but I’ve made a giant stride in that direction.”
She squeezed his fingers. “I am so grateful. What an amazing gift. He has given me second, and even third, chances before, as well.”
Micah rubbed his thumb across the top of her hand, sending shivers up her arm. “You never know. If God can soften my heart, He’s big enough to change your mother, too.”
Katherine laughed. “I know, but when she’s on one of her rampages, it’s hard to remember that. I shall try, though. Truly I will. And I’ll start praying for her more. I think I stopped doing that after she moved in with us. I didn’t realize, until now, how long it’s been since I truly asked the Lord to intervene in her life—in our lives.”
A gentle silence settled around them, blanketing Katherine in peace. No matter what might come in the future, even if Micah could never share her life as more than a friend, she knew she’d be all right. Nothing could happen that would rattle her faith. Nothing and no one.
Chapter Thirty-One
Lucy wanted to shake some sense into Ma and Grandma, no matter how much she loved them. She walked with Zachary along the path leading to the Powder River, swinging her pole and scuffing her toe against the clods of dirt kicked up by a passing horse. She didn’t feel like talking today, but being with Zachary was better than being stuck in the house. Grandma went around biting off anyone’s head if they looked at her crossways, and Ma was too blamed nice to Grandma. Lucy didn’t understand. Sure, respecting your elders made sense, but how far did you have to take that when your elders treated you with disrespect most of the time?
She hadn’t been thrilled when she’d seen Ma dancing with Mr. Jacobs three nights ago, but it didn’t bother her as much as she’d expected. It wasn’t like he was a monster or anything. She grinned and kicked at another dirt clod. If she were honest, she’d have to admit he was handsome and kind, and he treated Ma nice. These past few days Ma had been happier than Lucy had seen her in a long time, and that was something, considering how much unhappiness Grandma caused.
Lucy scowled. She wished Grandma would go back to her old house and quit living with them. If she did, maybe life would return to normal. Ma would be happy again without Mr. Jacobs, and … Lucy stopped and peeked at Zachary trudging beside her. If Ma married Mr. Jacobs, that would make Zachary her brother. Would it matter, since he already lived at their house, and they were best friends? She shrugged. Probably not. But if that did happen, he’d better not think he could tell her what to do just because he was older.
Zachary cleared his throat and shot her a sideways look. “What you thinkin’ about? You’re awful quiet.”
“Nothing much.” Lucy heaved a sigh. “Would you bait my hook? Somehow I don’t feel like killing a worm, even if it is for a good cause.”
“Sure.” He reached for her pole and sank down on the grassy bank. “Want to tell me what’s bothering you? Is it my pa and your ma? I saw them dancing together at the social.” He exhaled a sigh of his own. “Since I wasn’t doin’ too much dancing of my own.”
“I’m sorry, Zachary. I couldn’t believe Beth didn’t come. Mrs. Roberts was fit to be tied when she decided to stay in her room. I can’t imagine what’s wrong with her. She didn’t appear to be sick.”
“I think she’s tired of her aunt trying to push her to marry.”
Lucy glanced at him, surprised at the depth of understanding in his answer. She’d always thought of Zachary as a boy close to her own age, but now he sounded more like a man. “You might be right
. I know I wouldn’t like it if Ma did that to me.” She harrumphed. “Not that she’s apt to. She’s so worried about you wanting to court me, it’s ridiculous.” Lucy clapped her hand over her mouth.
Zachary turned a shocked expression toward her. “Your ma thinks I want to court you? Is that why she got so riled when she found you in my room?” He gave a shout of laughter. “That’s funny.”
Lucy stood over him, hands on her hips, and glared. “Thanks a lot, Zachary. I may not be the prettiest girl in town, but I don’t think you need to laugh at the idea. Besides, it’s not like I want you to court me.” She dropped her arms to her side and plopped onto the grass. “I don’t know what I want anymore. Except for Ma and Grandma to get along and things to go back the way they used to be.”
He nodded. “Yeah, I understand. And hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything bad by that. I never thought of you that way. You’re my best friend, and I don’t want that to change.”
“I know. You’re my best friend too.” She leaned back on her hands and tipped her chin up, staring at the lazy clouds passing overhead. “I’m sorry you didn’t get to dance with Beth.”
He peered through narrowed eyes at the hook, then held it up with a flourish. “There you go. All ready. It’s no big deal about Beth. She’s too old for me anyway.”
Satisfaction swelled in Lucy’s chest, quickly followed by shame. She shouldn’t rejoice over Zachary’s disappointment—but she hadn’t realized before how worried she’d been that she might lose his friendship if he continued to pine after Beth. “Yeah, I heard Mrs. Roberts tell Ma she’s twenty. Why, she’s practically an old maid. I can understand her aunt being worried about getting her married.”
Zachary’s head whipped up. “Twenty?” The word came out on a croak. “I thought she was seventeen, maybe. Whew.”
Lucy choked back a laugh. No way would she let Zachary see her amusement; he’d be too embarrassed. “You still have me for a friend if you want.”
“You told me you liked some boy at school.”
She tossed her head, sending her blond braids flying. “Not anymore. Bella Mae caught his eye, and I don’t want anything to do with him. Why, anyone who’d like that stuck-up girl doesn’t deserve my attention.”
“Is that what’s been bothering you?”
“Naw. I didn’t care about him that much anyway. I guess I’m mad at my ma and grandma. I’m so sick of the way Grandma treats Ma, and tired of Ma never standing up for herself the way she should. I’m telling you, Zachary, one of these days I’m going to make them sorry for making everyone around them miserable.”
He pushed up on his elbow and stuck a blade of grass between his teeth, all thought of fishing apparently gone. “Like what? Need any help?”
Her mind scrambled, surprised at his offer. How much should she tell him of her plan? She didn’t have it fully formed yet, and the last thing she wanted was someone trying to talk her out of it. Better keep it quiet for now. “I’m not sure yet, but I’ll let you know when I do.”
“Okay. So we goin’ fishin’ or what? It’s kind of a hot, lazy day. Maybe we should wade in the shallow part of the river instead and get cooled off.”
“Lucy! Zachary!” A distant voice drifted to them, and Lucy turned her head. Amanda stood on the edge of the water a hundred yards away, her skirt hiked up to her knees. “Look at me. I’m big enough to go up to my knees in the water all by myself.”
Lucy sprang to her feet on the grassy slope as fear clenched her stomach. What was her sister doing here? She’d left her home baking cookies with Ma. Calm eddies in front of her sister were deceiving. Only a short distance out the bottom dropped into deeper, swifter water, too treacherous for a young child to handle. “No, Mandy. Wait for me. The water is too swift.” Her little sister took a step forward. “Wait!” The word came out as a wail.
Mandy advanced another step as Lucy raced along the bank toward her, praying the little girl would listen and turn back. Mandy wasn’t a good swimmer, and her heavy dress would pull her under if the current caught her. Lucy heard Zachary’s footsteps pounding behind her and increased her pace, feeling his urgency. “Mandy. Don’t go any farther. Stop!”
The words seemed lost on the child as she moved deeper into the river. She turned with a grin and waved. Then she seemed to totter, slowly rocking one way and then the other, the joy of moments before swamped by a horrified look. “Lucy! Help me!” With a final desperate cry she waved both arms trying to regain her balance, then fell into the river, disappearing beneath the churning water.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Zachary raced past Lucy and yelled over his shoulder, “Run home for my pa and your ma. Hurry, Lucy! And bring blankets.”
Lucy hesitated only a second. Her own swimming skills weren’t strong, but Zachary was like a fish in the water. He had absolutely no fear. If anyone could save Mandy, it was Zac. “You’ve got to save her.”
He threw her a look, then sprinted toward the calm water a hundred feet down the river.
The last thing Lucy saw was Zachary kicking off his shoes and diving into the water.
She hiked her skirt to her knees and ran, thankful it wasn’t far to the house. A sob ripped from her throat. She hadn’t expected her little sister to follow them here. Ma would never have let her come alone. She must have slipped away when no one was looking.
Lucy picked up her pace, her feet flying over the uneven ground. Maybe she shouldn’t have left—what if Zachary needed help and didn’t reach her in time? Oh, please, God. Help Zachary save Mandy. I’ll never forgive myself if something happens.
Seconds later she burst through the front door of her home and bolted down the hall to the kitchen. “Ma, Mr. Jacobs, come quick! Mandy’s … fallen into … the river.” Her breath came out in pants, and she hoped they’d understand the disjointed words.
Ma came to the doorway, wiping her hands on her apron. “What’s all the yelling about, Lucy? Your grandmother is trying to sleep.”
She skidded to a halt. “Didn’t you hear me?” Frustration pulsed in her chest. She didn’t care if she woke her grandmother or anyone else. “Mandy followed us to the river and fell in. Zachary jumped in to save her. Come quick and bring blankets!”
Ma dropped the pan of cookies onto the floor, her face turning white. “She was here a minute ago.” She hurried to the parlor. “Mandy, where are you? Mandy?”
“She slipped away when you weren’t looking. Hurry!” Lucy whirled toward her mother. “Is Mr. Jacobs home? We need his help!”
Katherine rushed out, carrying two blankets and jerked open the front door. “He’s gone to town. Can Zachary reach her in time?”
Lucy bit her lip so hard she almost cried out, wishing she could lie to make her ma feel better. She needed to trust that God would take care of her baby sister. “Zachary’s a good swimmer.”
Katherine grabbed her hand. “Hurry!”
Lucy pushed down the hard lump in her throat as she flew along beside her mother, trying not to trip over the skirt she’d bunched high above her ankles. “I prayed, Ma. I’m … so sorry … I didn’t take better care … of her.”
“Not your fault. You did right. I should … have watched her.” Katherine gulped back a sob. “Too busy … with my baking.” She sucked in a harsh breath. “No matter.”
“What?” Lucy’s mind churned with possibilities. Did Ma think Mandy would be dead when they arrived? A shudder shook her, and she stuffed back more sobs. She must concentrate on where she was planting her feet.
“Nothing … important.” Katherine panted out the words, then reached out and grabbed Lucy’s hand. “Faster! I see the river.”
Katherine wanted to rage and scream, but she didn’t want to scare Lucy. Why would God let this happen? She’d already lost her husband.… Wasn’t that enough? Lucy assumed Zachary was a strong enough swimmer to rescue Amanda, but what if he failed? What if her little girl died? She couldn’t endure the thought. Wouldn’t endure it. You have got to do
something, God. You cannot let this happen. Not again. Please not again.
A shout went up from someone far ahead, and waves of relief washed over Katherine. Micah Jacobs was waving his arms above his head. “Over here, Katherine. Bring the blankets.”
She dropped Lucy’s hand and pushed forward with all her might. It had to be good news if Micah was here. If Zachary had been unable to save Mandy, Micah would be in the river as well.
Katherine slid to a halt on the grass and looked around wildly. “Where is she?” The words spilled from her mouth as she grabbed his arm. “Where’s Mandy?”
“Hang on, Katherine. She’s all right. Zachary flagged me down. He’s with her in the wagon, but I think we should take her to see Doc.” He slipped his hand around her shoulders and gently pulled her close. “She’s awake, but she swallowed some water and got sick to her stomach. Come on.” He nodded toward a towering oak. “Zac told me you were coming. I didn’t want to start out for Doc’s until you arrived.”
Katherine sagged against him, thankful for his strong embrace. Then she yanked away and dashed forward, Lucy right on her heels. She could hear her older daughter’s sobs and slowed her pace to embrace her. “Shh, it’s all right, honey. Mr. Jacobs said Zachary got to her in time.”
Lucy hugged her in return but kept pace with her brisk walk. “Thank you, God.”
“Yes, indeed.” Katherine whispered the words, ashamed at her own earlier lack of faith. “I’m so glad you prayed on your way home, Lucy-girl. My fear got the better of me, and all I did was rage at God, thinking I might lose Mandy.”
Zachary sat in the back of the wagon with the little girl on his lap, rubbing her arms. Micah kept pace behind Katherine and Lucy, and Katherine wondered if he’d heard her admission. It didn’t matter if he had—she knew he’d understand after his own spiritual battles. All she could do was give thanks that this had ended well.
Micah slapped the reins against the horse’s rump and clucked, eager to return home after their visit to the doctor. Funny, he’d come to think of the boardinghouse as home in so short a time. He glanced at the pretty blond sitting beside him cradling her sleeping girl on her lap, and his heart swelled with joy. Katherine was much of the reason for this new emotion. After the narrow miss with Mandy, he’d come to realize how entangled his heart had become with her two girls, as well. He didn’t know what they would do about a future relationship, but for now it didn’t matter. The important thing was that Amanda was safe, and they were on their way home.
Blowing on Dandelions: A Novel (Love Blossoms in Oregon Series) Page 24
