Right now he wished he had a hat in his hands so he’d have something to clutch. He felt like such a big oaf, standing in the middle of her room. The words he’d so carefully planned fled. “I’m fine, thanks.”
She nodded. “All right.” A couple seconds passed. “You wanted to talk to me, Mr. Jacobs?”
“Yes. I did. I do.” He licked his dry lips and tried again. “Yes, ma’am. I came to see you about Katherine.”
Her face darkened, and he winced but stood his ground. “Please. I don’t want to hear anything more about what you think she’s done wrong. There’s been enough of that already.”
“Yes, there certainly has.” She lifted her head.
Confusion almost addled his brain. “I beg your pardon?”
“I was remembering my uncharitable comments the last time we spoke. My reaction now was no reflection on my daughter. Forgive me for the way I spoke to you last night, and please proceed.”
Now he was completely flummoxed. He’d come in expecting at least a semblance of a battle, if not a full war, and she was asking for forgiveness?
He didn’t want to bumble this even more. “I love your daughter. It might come as a shock, seeing as how Katherine and I have only known one another for a short time.”
“Not at all. In fact, it would surprise me if you did not. Katherine is a very special woman.”
All he could do was stare. He was certain his hearing had dimmed. “Did I hear you say she’s special?”
“Yes, young man. I hope you think so as well, or you are not half the man I suppose you to be.”
“Of course I do. Quite honestly, I didn’t think you believed that. All I’ve seen and heard have convinced me of the opposite.”
She nodded slowly, but no rage appeared, merely a tinge of sadness. “I can understand why you would say that. Now, you came in here to tell me something.”
Micah straightened. “Yes. Of course.” He couldn’t think of any other way to phrase the words. “I want to marry Katherine and came to seek your permission, if not your blessing.”
“I give them both, with gratitude that you would care to ask.” Her lips smiled, but her eyes remained untouched. Only sorrow lingered in their depths.
“I beg your pardon, ma’am?”
“You heard me correctly. Now fetch that daughter of mine. I have something to say to both of you, and I plan on answering your questions as well.” She waved her hand at him. “Go along with you, Mr. Jacobs. I am not growing any younger.” The sharpness was back, but without its usual bite.
Micah turned and fled, certain that he’d dreamed the whole thing and worried she’d change into her old self by the time he returned. But a small part of him rejoiced in the words she’d spoken. Blessing as well as permission. Now if only Katherine agreed.
Katherine’s heart nearly pounded out of her chest, and she thought she’d lose her breakfast before she reached Mama’s room. Why did she need to accompany Micah there? Surely Mama had tormented him enough when he’d gone alone. Katherine had about given up on anything ever changing in her life, at least where her mother was concerned. Micah would do well to learn it sooner, rather than later. It saved a lot of heartache not setting up false expectations.
“Relax, Katherine. It’s going to be all right.” Micah touched her shoulder and nudged her into the room. “Trust God with this.”
She almost laughed. The man who’d been angry and stubborn for years was preaching at her to trust God? Fine. She’d make an effort, but so much that pertained to Mama had gone wrong in her life that she was afraid to try.
Mama sat in her chair as though she were royalty, and Katherine choked back a laugh. Yesterday had been nothing but an act, based on the way her mother looked now. Fully clothed and sitting ramrod straight, as was her custom. “I see you’re feeling better.”
“Yes, a little more rested, although I still tire easily.” She beckoned to Katherine and held out her hand. “Before Micah has his say, I need to have mine. You are wondering why I asked you to come when it appears I am perfectly able to walk to the parlor.”
“The thought occurred to me.” Katherine reluctantly took her mother’s hand and tried not to wince. How awful that this gesture was so foreign she didn’t know what to expect when it happened. She couldn’t remember the last time Mama had hugged her or volunteered a gentle touch.
“Appearances can be deceiving, Daughter. I am fully dressed because Mr. Jacobs sent word this morning that he wanted to speak with me. I have remained this way because I believed I could better say what was needed if I wasn’t huddled under my covers like an old woman on her deathbed.”
Katherine felt as though she’d been slapped. “Are you saying you believe you’re dying?”
Mama motioned her concern away. “Of course not; it was simply a figure of speech. Although I suppose we are all dying a little bit each day. I simply desired to be fully clothed to keep my courage up.”
Katherine withdrew her hand from her mother’s. “What do you need courage for? You didn’t appear to be lacking in that capacity last night.”
Her mother winced. “Do not think I am not well aware of the fact that I deserved that. That, and a lot more.”
“I beg your pardon?” This was not what Katherine had come expecting to hear. Where was the woman who had raged at them for impropriety, then ordered Micah to pack and leave? It was a rare occurrence for Mama to take responsibility for any wrongdoing.
“You heard me, Katherine. I am still very new to this apology business, so please do not expect me to repeat myself when I admit I have been mistaken.”
Katherine bit back a smile. The old Mama was back. “Fine. But if you’d care to explain, I’d appreciate trying to understand.”
“Why don’t you sit on the bed?” She turned and eyed Micah. “Mr. Jacobs, normally I would ask you to leave the room, but considering the circumstances and why you are here, I will allow you to stay. Please step over by the door and do not make any comments while we talk. Is that acceptable?”
“Of course.” He moved to where she indicated and leaned against the wall.
Prickles of uncertainty ran up Katherine’s spine. What was Mama up to? Only a small touch of her usual tartness had made itself known. There must be some hidden scheme underlying the supposed courtesy. How sad that her relationship with her mother was so colored by mistrust, but she couldn’t change it at this stage of her life. She sank onto the edge of the mattress and rested her hands in her lap, trying to relax but ready for whatever might come.
Mama opened her mouth, closed it, then opened it again, but no sound came out. She shut her eyes for a moment, then tried again. “I owe you an apology. I have already extended one to Mr. Jacobs, but I should have done so to you first. You are my daughter. I am proud of you, and I love you more than anyone else in the world.” She rolled her shoulders with a slight smile. “Gracious, that was not as painful as I expected.”
Every bit of the tenderness Katherine had started to feel disappeared in an instant. As she had assumed, this was all an act. “So it’s painful to tell me you love me, is that what I’m hearing? I must say, I’m not surprised. You’ve avoided doing so most of my life. I can’t imagine what prompted you to start now.” She pushed to her feet. “We’re done here.”
Micah stepped forward, but Mama held out her hand. “Wait. Please. You did not understand.” Tears moistened her eyes. “I meant that I am not used to apologizing. I expected it to be ghastly, but it was actually quite cleansing. I am so sorry you thought I meant it was painful saying I love you. Not at all. Please forgive me.” She choked out a laugh through her tears. “Now I have done it again, and it is getting a little easier. Soon I will be asking forgiveness of Mrs. Roberts, if I am not careful.”
Katherine wondered what to believe. The tears appeared real, but she’d been fooled before. What she’d give to have Lucy’s clear perception where Mama was concerned. “Why are you saying all this? Something doesn’t feel right.” She wasn’
t sure how to express her confusion but hadn’t meant to be quite so blunt. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to criticize or accuse you of a falsehood. I simply don’t understand.”
“You have no need to apologize. In fact, according to Lucy, you have done far too much of that since I arrived.”
Katherine grimaced, certain she knew what was coming. Rarely did Mama condemn anything the girls said or did, so Lucy’s comment would likely be placed at Katherine’s doorstep. “Lucy shouldn’t have said that.”
“Lucy should have said it, and I am glad she did. It was the first thing that started me thinking. And what you and Mrs. Roberts said in my bedroom last night hit me hard as well.”
Katherine blinked. Mama had heard what they’d said? But she’d been asleep. They’d heard her snores. Shame washed through Katherine that she’d been gossiping about her mother, much less that she’d been overheard.
Micah shifted his weight behind her and his warm hand settled on her shoulder. Relief that he’d ignored Mama’s order to stay by the door flooded her. He gave a quick squeeze. “Why don’t you let your mother explain, Katherine?”
She relaxed against him as he moved closer behind her. “That’s a fine idea. I won’t interrupt if you want to talk, Mama.”
“Thank you.” Her mother nodded. “I see that I surprised you. I did not try to deceive you. But nor did I allow you to know I was awake. That was dishonest. I am afraid I am seeing many such places where I have erred over the years.” Her face twisted; then she pressed on. “As I said, Lucy’s disgust started my thought process, as did the shame that consumed me when I realized how unjust I had been in accusing Mr. Jacobs.” She tipped her head toward Katherine. “And you, my dear. Especially in light of the wonderful service Zachary did for our dear little Amanda.”
She placed her hand over her heart and shuddered. “I truly did weaken at the revelation of how close we had come to losing her, but I revived shortly after. I fell asleep for what appears to have only been brief moments after speaking to you and Mrs. Roberts. When I woke, I did not attempt to let you know. I will admit I wanted to listen, although several times it took all my willpower not to sit up and argue.”
Katherine opened her mouth, but Mama waved her to silence. “Not yet. Please. There is more.”
She drew in a deep breath. “Mrs. Roberts had more to say after you left the room, and some of it was quite pointed. She was right, as much as it pains me to admit it. I have buried years of resentment toward your father for his gambling, and I have taken it out on you. I saw him as a weak man, even though I realize now he loved us—especially you—dearly. Gambling was his one weakness, and I could not forgive him for it. I saw your neediness as a child and worried you would become like him.”
She waved a ring-bedecked hand in the air. “Not gambling, you understand, but that you would make poor decisions. I wanted to guide and direct your steps. I never recognized what an amazing woman you have become.” She smiled sadly. “And I must confess that part of me wanted you to need me. I assumed if you became infatuated with Mr. Jacobs, you might not want me around any longer. At the very least, you would never seek my counsel if you had someone else to turn to. I see now that my attitude may have kept you from that, regardless.”
Katherine’s eyes burned with unshed tears. This was too sudden, too huge, and too unbelievable. This couldn’t be her mother speaking. People didn’t change like this overnight. Had it been the shock of her granddaughter’s accident on top of the things she’d overheard? She wanted to trust her mother’s words, but a deep-seated fear gripped her. Katherine placed her hand over the strong fingers resting on her shoulder, needing the reassurance that something in the room was real. As much as she wanted to ask questions, she wouldn’t. Not yet. Not until Mama indicated she’d finished.
Her mother eyed her closely. “It has always been easy to read you, Katherine, even when you keep your own counsel. Although I must say you have gotten better these past weeks at hiding your emotions. But they are apparent now. I have shocked you. You are having a difficult time believing I am telling the truth. Is that correct?”
Katherine tried to form the right words. Calling her mother a liar wouldn’t do by far, but neither would admitting her own fear.
“Wait.” Mama halted her once more. “I have put you in an untenable position. Something I have done too often in the past.” She emitted a low laugh. “I am afraid I still have a long way to go, and I find I cannot force myself to apologize yet again. There is only so much I can bear in one morning, you understand.”
She laced her fingers in her lap. “I cannot make you any promises other than I will try to change. It is easy right now with all that has happened. But I am an old woman, set in her ways with a lot of bad habits. I am certain I will lose my temper more than once in the future and say things I should not. I will probably meddle in your lives after you marry and anger you both from time to time. I hope you will see it in your hearts to forgive me and allow me to continue living here. I would like that very much.”
Katherine bolted to her feet, appalled and sickened that her mother would put Micah in this position. “Marry? What are you talking about, Mama? I am most certainly not asking you to leave, and Mr. Jacobs hasn’t asked me to marry him. I don’t know where you got either idea. He must be mortified.” She turned toward Micah. Instead of embarrassment, he wore a broad smile, adding to her confusion. “Micah?”
He took her hand. “Not a bit mortified. You must have guessed I wanted to speak to your mother about us.”
“Yes, but you planned to tell her we want to court. She’s jumped to conclusions and …”
“No, dear. She has not.” He placed a tender kiss on her palm.
Her fingers closed after he removed his lips, hoping to capture the essence of his touch.
“You are the one who misunderstood. In fact, she gave me her blessing. I planned on asking you privately after the two of you had a chance to talk, but it appears this is the way it was meant to be.”
The warmth of that kiss did strange things to her heart, not to mention the wild butterflies flitting about in her stomach.
Micah dropped to one knee. “I love you, Katherine. I had no idea I could love a woman again, certainly not with the passion I feel for you. Since the day we met in the street, I haven’t been able to get your sweet face out of my mind. You’ve consumed my thoughts and even my dreams. I fought against it at first. It felt so disloyal to Emma. Then I realized she wouldn’t have wanted Zachary and me to be alone. I believe she’d have given her blessing and loved you as well. I’m hoping—no, praying—that you love me a little, and it might grow into a deeper love as time goes on. Is it possible, Katherine? Is there any hope you’d consider marrying me?”
Katherine melted, and for the first time in her life forgot to care what Mama might think. All she could do was focus on Micah’s handsome, strong face gazing up into hers. Joy exploded inside, sending a shaft of pure pleasure pulsing through her body. Wonder of wonders. He loved her.
Not only that, he’d stood up to her mother and then approached Mama, knowing she might not give her blessing. Why she had done so was still a mystery, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except this dear, wonderful man who’d boldly proclaimed his love for her, in front of her mother. Why did it all keep coming back to Mama?
She squeezed his hand and smiled, drawing him to his feet. “I would be honored to be your wife, Micah. I have known for weeks that I love you, but there were so many things that stood in our way. The children and …” She glanced toward her mother.
Micah nodded. “Mrs. Cooper will always be a part of our family. I haven’t had a mother for years, and I hope she can help fill that place in the days to come.”
A smile crept over Mama’s face, and she extended her hand. Micah reached out while keeping his other arm firmly wrapped around Katherine.
Mama breathed a sigh that sounded much like relief. “I would like that, Micah. I surely would. Thank you from
the bottom of my heart for forgiving this foolish old woman and giving her another chance at happiness. Now go break the news to the children. That is, after you two have had a few minutes alone.” She quirked a brow at Micah. “I see you understand my meaning, young man.”
“Quite clearly.” He released Frances’s hand and drew Katherine toward the hall. Pausing outside the partly open door, he took her into his arms. Micah waited a heartbeat, then gathered her close and dipped his head. He kissed her gently, lingering longer than she’d expected, causing a shiver to course through her. Then he whispered in her ear, “That’s a deposit on what’s to come—if you will allow me to be so bold.”
Katherine’s heart galloped like a runaway colt, leaving her breathless. Lifting her hand she traced the firm outline of his lips with her fingertip. She gazed into his green eyes and smiled. “As long as it’s only a down payment, I think that’s quite acceptable.”
She linked her arm through his and took a step toward the stairs, then paused, stricken. Mama. The door to the bedroom was still open. She had seen it all and hadn’t raised a word of protest. Katherine thought of all the things her mother had said only minutes earlier. Shame washed over her. Her mother had poured out her heart and apologized for the first time in her memory, and Katherine hadn’t even responded.
Turning, she walked to the seated woman and knelt at her side. “Thank you for everything you said. I know it wasn’t easy for you to apologize, but I appreciate it more than you know.” Leaning over, she kissed her mother’s forehead. “I love you, Mama.” Katherine whispered the words, almost choking on the emotion swelling inside. For the first time since childhood, she meant those words.
“I love you, too, but I cannot promise to be perfect, Daughter.” Mama’s voice cracked on the last syllable.
Katherine laughed, and she brushed away a tear that threatened to spill onto her cheek. “Nor I, Mama.” She smoothed her fingertips along her mother’s hand. “But we’ll both try.”
Micah slid his arm around her shoulders. “I’m proud of you, Katherine Galloway. I can’t wait for our great adventure to begin.”
Blowing on Dandelions: A Novel (Love Blossoms in Oregon Series) Page 27
