by Toni Aleo
I shake my head. “No way.”
“Guest room, then.”
“Don’t have one. I have an office. I don’t want guests.”
“Where will I go, then?”
“The couch.”
“You’re gonna put your favorite brother on the couch?”
“You’re my only brother.”
“Exactly, so scoot your big ass over and let me in the bed.”
I scoff. “What if Shelli is over?”
“You can sleep in the middle.”
I pause. “I’m done with this conversation, but yes, you can stay.”
“You’re right. We can discuss this when I get there.” He laughs at my groan, and I roll my eyes. “So, what’s the issue? I assume it has something to do with Shelli.”
“Why do you say that?”
“’Cause you don’t call unless it does.”
I shrug. “While that’s untrue, in this case, your assumption is right. I think we’re in a relationship. Actually, I know we are, I just don’t want to think of it that way. But I think I miss her. That’s weird, right?”
I’m met with silence. “You really need help. Go see Emery’s therapist. Please.”
“Ash, come on. Tell me what to do.”
“About what?”
“This. These feelings. What do I do?”
“Embrace them?”
“How?”
More silence. “I don’t know what you want me to say here. It makes no sense to me whatsoever. I honestly didn’t realize how fucked up our parents made you. Or was this Audrey’s fault? We all know she wasn’t normal until she got with Uncle Tate.”
“It’s no one’s fault. I’m just… It’s weird.”
“Whatever, dude. Do you want to be with Shelli?”
“Yeah.”
“Then shut up and be with her.”
“I appreciate our meaningful conversations,” I say dryly.
“Me too. Very productive. Listen, my girl just walked in. I gotta go.”
I pause. “So, you just let it happen with her? You aren’t freaked out by her?”
Asher groans loudly. “Of course, I’m freaked out by her, but I’d rather be with her than without.”
That makes sense, but before I can say that, the asshole hangs up on me.
Boon sits down on the bed across from me and lets out a long breath. “I think we should go out, find some lady friends tonight. Wes is down.”
I shake my head as I lie back on the bed. “I’m good.”
He gives me an incredulous look. “Really? We’re single dudes with the night off. I don’t want to go to dinner with the married or in-relationship folks. They’re boring.”
I chew on my lip as I look up at my phone, seeing my lock screen of Shelli in my shirt. She has the goofiest grin on her face, but I still find her beautiful. “Yeah, I’m good.”
“Why? Come on. It will be fun. I’ll even let you have this room, and I’ll go back to whoever’s place.”
As I stare at Shelli, her blue eyes shining, I know I don’t want to do that. “I’m actually with someone.”
“What? How? When were you dating?”
“Huh?”
“If you’re with her, that means you’re done with dating. I didn’t even know you were dating anyone.”
I look back down at my phone and text Asher.
Me: I moved past dating already!
Asher: Yes, because you’ve known her for her whole life. Jesus, loosen the man bun and think here.
Me: Do you even love me?
Asher: Eh. That’s still up for debate.
“Oh yeah, I guess I am.”
“Really?” Boon asks, and I nod before looking over at him.
“Yeah.”
There is a knock on the adjoining door, and Wes comes in. Boon looks at him and announces, “BB is with someone.”
Wes’s eyes widen. “No way.”
“That’s what I said. He’s famous for his whoring ways,” Boon teases, and I flip him the bird.
“I am not.”
He ignores me. “Did you even know he was dating?”
“I think you might, in fact, be famous for those whoring ways,” Wes says with a shrug. “And no, I hadn’t. But that’s cool. Who is she? Do I know her?”
“No,” I say quickly, shaking my head and shutting off my phone.
“When can we meet her?”
“I don’t know.” I don’t want to share her with them. I don’t want them judging us or making fun of us. I like us.
Boon makes a face. “Well, whoever it is has stolen our wingman, and he is now boring.”
I glare at him. “What do you mean? I’m not boring.”
Boon gets up, picking up his phone from the side table. “When you’re in a relationship, you don’t want to do anything fun unless you’re with that person.”
Hm, so that’s what a relationship is? “That’s not true. I’ll go to dinner with you guys.”
“Boring. I want to find someone to go home with.”
“You can go home with the waitress.”
Wes shakes his head. “Don’t listen to him, BB. He’s still bitter because his girl left him.”
“I am not!”
“You are,” Wes says, shaking his head. “I think it’s cool. I’d rather be with someone than trolling for females.”
“Because you’re into that relationship shit!”
Wes sets him with a look. “And you were too until what’s her name left you.”
Boon rolls his eyes. “Fuck off. Trolling is fun,” Boon insists. At one time, I agreed. I don’t want to troll when I know there is a girl who’s thinking of me. Only me.
Wes looks back at me. “Sure, but knowing there is that one girl who wants only you feels way better.”
“Until she leaves you and breaks your heart.”
It’s as if I am watching the angel and devil argue on my shoulder.
Wes looks back at me. “And this is why we don’t listen to Boon. Bitter.”
“Fuck off!”
Wes laughs, but I feel what Boon is saying. Crazy thing is, I feel Wes too. Jesus, I’m a mess.
“Do you, bro. We’re gonna go out, though,” Wes says as he stands up.
“We sure are,” Boon agrees, and then he goes to the door as Wes pats my shoulder.
“Wanna go?”
“No, I’m gonna order in.”
“Cool. See ya.”
“Have fun,” I call at them as they walk out.
A part of me wants to go. I don’t want to be boring, but I don’t think Shelli would appreciate that. I wouldn’t want her going out to troll for guys, and I sure as hell didn’t like seeing her out with that fucker, Merryweather. I’m doing the right thing. I’m not boring. Especially when I know I can call Shelli. When my stomach rumbles, I sit up and order some food. It’s going to be a while, so I sit back in the bed, opening my text thread with Shelli.
Me: wyd
Shelli: Nothing. Just sitting around. I’m hungry, but Mom isn’t cooking, and I’m lazy.
Me: LOL. I just ordered food.
Shelli: Don’t y’all go out on no-game nights? You didn’t want to go?
Me: The guys are going to the club. I didn’t think it was appropriate.
Shelli: Why?
Me: Cause they’re going to find women.
Shelli: So? Doesn’t mean you have to. Unless you want to.
Me: I don’t, which is why I didn’t go.
Shelli: Don’t trust yourself?
Me: No, it’s not that at all. I just didn’t want to upset you.
Shelli: While I appreciate that, I trust you. You haven’t done anything to make me think otherwise.
We shouldn’t have skipped the dating thing. Or did we?
Me: Did we skip dating?
Shelli: I mean, I guess. We have known each other my whole life.
Me: Okay, true. So thinking I was doing the right thing is right, then?
Shelli: Did you want to go?
Me: No, I actually wanted to talk to you.
Shelli: Then you did the right thing.
A grin pulls at my lips.
Me: You should get something to eat, and we’ll FaceTime. Eat together.
Shelli: Well, now that sounds like a digital DATE.
I know she said it to be funny, and while I am grinning, I’m hesitant to agree. I’m still thinking of what the guys said, and it’s weighing heavy on me. I don’t understand the way I’m thinking, but I know it’s because of what Asher said. I want this, but I’m terrified of it.
Just do it. Just jump in. I swallow hard as I type back.
Me: Yeah, go get something. My food will be here in forty minutes.
Shelli: Okay, let me go whip something up.
I send her a thumbs-up and then lean back on the bed. I switch on GameCenter, but just as I set down the remote, I get a text.
Mom: Asher said you need Emery’s therapist’s number. I didn’t know you were having problems. Do you need to talk?
Why does my brother love fucking with me?
Me: Mom, I’m fine, but I may kill Asher.
Mom: Are you sure? I love talking to you.
Me: I’m fine, plus Asher is staying with me while he’s in town.
Mom: What? I didn’t even know he was coming into town!
Ha.
Asher: I hate you.
Me: You’re a jackass.
Asher: Hey, someone needs to help you before you ruin this.
Me: I’m not going to ruin it.
But even I’m not confident in my words. I want to say I feel good about all this, but I don’t. I’m constantly freaking out and unsure of myself. Maybe I should have gone out, but I know I’d be bored because the only person I want to talk to is Shelli. No one can hold a candle to her. But should I worry that she’ll find someone who’s better than me? This relationship crap is wack. Why am I doing this again?
Asher: You better not, because Shelli is a super cool chick.
That’s why. Because Shelli is a super cool chick, and I really enjoy her.
Before I can type back to my brother, my phone rings. The picture of Shelli and me from that shitshow of a party comes up. While the party was embarrassing, this picture isn’t. I don’t answer Shelli right away. I stare at us for a second, thinking how great we look. How perfectly beautiful she is.
I slide over to answer and hold the phone to my ear. “Hey.”
“I’m bored. Talk to me.”
I grin. “Okay. Whatcha making?”
“Grilled cheese. The reason we have no food is because Mom and Dad went out for dinner, leaving us offspring to fend for ourselves. I asked Posey to cook, but then Maxim said they should go out, so they did and took the boys.”
“You didn’t want to go?”
“I figured you might call, and I’d rather talk to you than watch my brothers burp and fart and Posey lust over Maxim while he completely ignores it because he doesn’t see her like that.”
I cock my head. “What’s that about? Why doesn’t Posey just say she has a thing for him?”
“Who knows. She’s shy when it comes to that kind of stuff.”
“Weird, since you are not even a little bit shy.”
“Nope, I go for what I want.”
I grin as I lick my lips. “Yeah, you do.” Her soft laugh makes my body burn. “So, what did you do today?”
She lets out a long sigh. “Well, my intern supervisor says I’m too good to be an intern, so she’s gonna talk to my mom. Before Mom left, she said I need to come in for a meeting.”
“Too good to be an intern?”
“Uh, yeah. I’m amazing. I’m basically running the social media, and I can do that with my eyes closed. I need a challenge.”
“I think it’s funny your mom is making you start at the bottom.”
She laughs. “Yeah, I don’t know. But I do appreciate it. I want to start at the bottom so if Posey or the boys bitch that Mom gave me the team, I can be like, whoa, I worked for this shit.”
“Absolutely. I admire that about you.”
“Well, thank you.” I hear the ding of the microwave before she says, “What did you order?”
“Steak, potatoes, and pasta.”
“Jealous.”
“Hey, come here, and I’ll share.”
She scoffs. “Don’t tempt me. I have a plane, and I’m not afraid to use it.”
I laugh. “You wouldn’t find me complaining.” Even though I can’t see her grinning, I know she is. “Maybe when I get back, we can go have some steak.”
“I do love steak.”
“I do too, and if we need a cover, Asher is coming into town.”
“Is he? For what?”
“No clue. To drive me crazy?”
She laughs. “I love Asher. He’s so funny.”
“He’s a pain in my ass.”
“Right? It’s so funny how he picks at you.”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, he told me today that I can’t mess this up because you’re a super cool chick.”
“I mean, he isn’t wrong. Though, I kind of hope you know that and that you don’t want to mess this up.”
“Well, for your information, that’s what I said.”
“Oh, that’s good to hear.”
“I thought you’d like that.” The grin on my face hurts, but it’s there because of her. I know she’s smiling too. “I want to see you.”
“Give me a second. I’m bringing everything into my room.”
“Okay,” I say, though it isn’t okay. I want to see her now. “Do you think I’m dumb for not going out?”
“Not at all,” she says quickly. “I just don’t want you to feel like you can’t do what you want even though you’re seeing me. Do you want me to stay at home and wait for you?”
“The answer should be no, right?”
She laughs loudly. “You’re silly. I trust you. Trust me.”
“Trust is a big word.”
“It is, but the thing is, if you want to be trusted, be honest. We have no problem being honest with each other.”
I nod. “We don’t.”
“So don’t overthink it. Just do what makes you happy.”
You make me happy.
I press my lips together. “It’d make me real happy if I could see you.”
“Fine, fine. Jeez, impatient Pete.”
“You don’t want to see me?” I ask, and she laughs.
“Yes! Hush!”
My phone rings with FaceTime, and when I answer it, she’s there.
Naked.
Her hair is down along one shoulder, and she’s wearing no makeup. I want to say I see a plate of food in her lap, but it’s not what I’m looking at. It’s the curve of her wonderful breasts and those lips that have my full attention.
I struggle with my next breath as I ask, “Did you lose your clothes along the way?”
She grins, her eyes narrowing a bit. “Yup. Is that a problem?”
“Not at all.”
“Good. So when is your food coming?”
“No clue, but I don’t want that food.”
“No? Hungry for something else?” she asks, moving her hand along her breast, a sparkle in her eyes.
“Yeah, you.”
With a wicked little grin, she licks her lips, and I swear I’ve never seen a more beautiful sight.
“You are trying to kill me.”
She lifts her arms, her breasts so perky. “Just a bit.”
“You’re a mean, mean woman.”
“And you love it,” she says, her eyes twinkling mischievously.
Oh, this is a dangerous game. Real dangerous. But fuck if I don’t want to play her game.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
SHELLI
“YOU KNOW EXACTLY why I did it. I want you to be with me.”
I roll my eyes as I turn onto the interstate to head toward Luther Arena. I have a meeting with my mom, but first, I had to speak to Nico. I’ve had plenty of ch
ances to call him since what happened between him and Aiden, but I wanted to sit back on it. I was too emotional before. I was mad he would make Aiden assume something and ultimately ruin a relationship I truly want. While I know Nico wants to be with me, I thought he cared enough for me not to hurt me. Breaking up Aiden and me would crush me.
“It’s not the same for me,” I say as calmly as I can. “I told you that back in Carolina. I told you the same thing at dinner. I don’t want to be with you, Nico, and I don’t say that to hurt you. I’m just being honest.”
“That’s shit, though. I know you want me.”
“No, I don’t,” I stress. “From the rip, we were just fucking around. You knew that. I told you that—”
“But I love you.”
I want to groan with annoyance. “No, Nico, you don’t. I promise you don’t. You just think you do because you like the way I make you feel. Sexually, not emotionally.”
“Whatever. I love how you make me feel emotionally.”
“For that to be true, you’d actually have to listen to me.”
“I do!”
“What’s my sister’s name?”
He pauses. “Which one? Don’t you have four?”
I sigh heavily. “No, I have one sister and three brothers. That’s what I mean. You know nothing about me except I give great head and make you squeal.”
“Shell, that’s not true. I know you have a wicked left hook.”
“But can you tell me the name of the last show I was in?”
He pauses for another second before he laughs. “It doesn’t matter. It’s all in the past. I want a future with you.”
“We don’t have a future,” I say, shaking my head. “And I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t ruin what I have with Aiden.”
“You have nothing. He’s a jackass. He doesn’t even treat you right.”
“Yes, he does. Maybe not at first, but that’s because he was being an idiot.”
“He’s still an idiot.”
“You don’t even know him, and I can’t believe you told him you fucked me.”
“I did.”
“You know what I mean. How you implied it.”
“Whatever, Shelli. This is bullshit, and you know it.”
“It isn’t,” I try, but he isn’t having it.
“Whatever—”
“Nico, I care for you. You’re a wonderful guy, and you’re going to meet someone someday who will make you forget me completely. But when you do, ask her about herself and learn from this. Make her happy because you care, not because she can please you.”
