by Toni Aleo
I walk into the house almost robotically. My limbs are stiff, and I feel like I’m about to pass out. Do I love her? Shit, wait, does she love me? She has had a crush on me since she was a kid. Did she fall in love with me? Wait, none of this matters. I can’t let this ruin what I’ve got, and I’ve got it good with Shelli. I can’t overthink this. I hate Asher. I hate him so much.
I fall down into a chair in the living room, a bit frantic and needing to breathe. I lean forward, dropping my phone and keys to the table before falling back and kicking up my feet. I close my eyes as I listen to my family in the kitchen. I need them to stay in there for a minute because my head is all over the place right now. If she does love me, what does that mean? Does she assume I love her? Why hasn’t she told me? What would I say? Fuck. The ringing in my head is giving me a massive headache.
“Is this Shelli?”
My eyes fly open to find Stella with my phone in her hand, her eyes wide and her mouth hanging open. “It is! Why is Shelli—” Before she can finish, I’m up and out of my chair with my hand over her mouth and holding her to me.
Her eyes are like saucers, and my heart is in my throat as I stare down into her gaze. “Shut up.” She mumbles something against my hand, but I refuse to move it. “I will give you all the money in my wallet—ow! Fuck! Stop hitting me!”
I look over my shoulder to see Emery beating me in the back. “Let go of her!”
When she kicks me in the back of the knee, I hit the floor with my hands up. “What the hell is wrong with you? You tried to kill her last week!”
Emery shrugs as Stella goes to stand beside her. “I can hurt her, not you. What’s your issue?”
Stella holds out my phone. I try to reach for it, but she keeps it out of my grasp. “It’s Shelli.”
Emery’s eyes widen, and I cover my face. “Give me my phone.”
“She has, like, no pants on,” Emery whispers, her eyes about to come out of her damn head. “Why doesn’t she have pants on? Are you sleeping with her?”
“You know about sex?” I ask incredulously, and then both of them just stare at me.
Stella whisper-yells, “She’s fourteen,” just as Emery says, “I’m fourteen!”
“Touché,” I say, and then I snatch my phone, much to their dismay. “Stay out of my shit.”
“Are you?” Stella asks, and then a smile spreads over her face. “Wouldn’t that be so sweet? She’s been in love with you for, like, ever!”
That damn L-word!
“Shut up,” I say, moving my hands frantically in front of my face. “Stop. Like, for real, stop.”
Obviously, these two don’t know what stop means.
“Does Mom know?” Emery asks, and her eyes go wider, much to my surprise. “There is no way because we’d all know.”
“Oh my God, are y’all like hiding it? Like Romeo and Juliet?”
When they both aww, I cringe. “No, nothing like Romeo and Juliet. Our families love each other.”
Stella laughs. “But Shea will kill you dead.”
I swallow hard. “Which is why you guys can’t tell anyone!” I snap, but apparently I’m dead wrong.
They both look at me with such mischievous expressions.
Emery looks like a cat with a canary in her mouth as she says, “Actually, we can.”
Stella nods, looking more like Emery than the sweet girl I love. “We so can.”
“But that money in your wallet could buy our silence,” Emery says, and when she holds up her hand, Stella high-fives her.
Thick as thieves, these two.
It’s easy to say when I enter the kitchen, I’m out four hundred dollars and my heart still hasn’t slowed down.
“Aiden, baby, why do you look so pale?”
I shake my head as I sit down. “Your daughters are criminals,” I mutter, and my dad laughs.
“Especially the younger one.”
I shake my head. “Because the older one trained her.”
Dad laughs harder as Mom looks back at the girls, who are talking about how they’re gonna spend the money. Little assholes. Extorting their older brother. Way smarter than I was at that age. I was too obsessed with hockey to even know to do that. I was too obsessed with hockey to do a lot of things. I missed my whole senior year to go to college early. I don’t regret it. I wanted it. I didn’t need homecoming or prom or senior year crap. I wanted to go into the NHL, I wanted to be successful, and I did it. Because of that, I missed out on the whole having-a-relationship thing. Which is proving to be a bit of an issue now.
While everyone sits, ready for the meal, I feel as if I have a billion Minions in my head, tearing up Gru’s laboratory. It’s a mess up there, and I don’t know what the hell I’m feeling. I’m freaked to the max, though my family has no damn clue whatsoever. We eat dinner as we’ve been doing for most of my life. Stella and Emery steal the show; they’re funny and witty. My mom loves it and jokes with them. Asher doesn’t say much, but when he does, everyone listens. I stay mute, and thankfully, no one notices. But I do notice that my dad looks happy.
“What’s the grin about?” I find myself asking, and he squeezes my shoulder.
“It’s good to have everyone home,” he says proudly, and my heart swells. It is nice, even if Asher is an asshole and Stella and Emery should be starring in their own episode of Law and Order. I love my family. They’re my rock, and Dad’s right, it feels good to be together.
When dessert is served—my favorite, key lime pie—we’re arguing about how much skin Stella can show in her prom dress. Dad and I are pretty much on the same page—none—while Mom and Stella feel the stomach should be allowed.
“You can just not go,” Dad says then, and Stella pouts.
“That’s unfair.”
“Life isn’t fair, sweetheart, and while you live under my roof, you’ll stay covered up.” He points his fork at her. “A guy won’t want the milk if he can see the cow’s udders.”
I snort. “What the hell?”
The fork comes at me next. “Shut it, you.”
Asher gives Dad a look. “But Dad, I think we all know guys want the milk no matter what.”
Dad slams the fork on the table as we all laugh. “Not my baby’s milk!”
“Wow, okay, this conversation is done,” Mom announces loudly, shaking her head. When Stella starts to complain, Mom presses her hand into hers. “I’ll talk to him.”
Dad leans in. “And I’ll still say no.”
Mom gives him a look that says otherwise, but I don’t think anyone was supposed to catch that. That’s my mom and dad though, secret looks and sweet touches. When I notice a huge bouquet of red roses on the counter, I cock my head.
“What are the roses for?”
Mom grins over at Dad before he looks at me. “Just because.”
“Just because?”
He nods. “Yeah, because I love your mom. I wanted her to smile.”
Oh. I want to make Shelli smile.
Does that mean I love her?
I lean on my hand as I eat my pie. I wish pie could tell me what I feel. Asher pushes his plate away. I watch as he leans on his elbows and clears his throat. Stella, Dad, and Emery keep eating, but Mom and I look to him.
“What’s wrong, baby? Did you not like it?”
“Mom, the plate is empty.”
She grins. “Then why are you clearing your throat for my attention?”
He crosses his arms over his chest. “Because I need it.”
Dad finally looks up, and with his mouth full of pie, he says, “Well, you got it. What?”
Asher runs his hand along his mouth, and I notice he’s nervous. What’s wrong with him? “I didn’t just come home because I missed you guys.”
“Please don’t spare our feelings,” I say, but he doesn’t laugh.
“Yeah, plus, none of us miss you anyway,” Emery teases, and I snort as I point at her. Though, Asher doesn’t find any of us comical. His eyes are on Mom, and he seems pretty serious.
My smile drops as I ask, “What’s going on?”
He doesn’t look at me. “I came home to get the family engagement ring.”
A silence falls over the table. Through the years, my dad has bought my mom many upgrades to her wedding set. The engagement ring Asher speaks of is the very first one. I remember picking it out with my dad. It’s a huge heart-shaped single diamond that is set on a band engraved with “I love you and you love me.” It almost exactly matches the tattoos on Mom’s and Dad’s wrists.
Asher looks so damn sure of himself as he says, “I’m very much in love with Jasmine, and I want to ask her to marry me.”
Along with the rest of the table, I just blink. I don’t believe what I am hearing. I’m envious of him for knowing what he wants, but he’s a kid! Mom is the first to recover. “Asher, baby, I’m so happy that you’re in love, but you’re only nineteen.”
Thank you, Mom!
“I’m aware, but she’s all I want. And like Dad always says, when you know, you know.”
I look back to Mom, who nods slowly. “Well then, wow, that’s so amazing. Jasmine is wonderful. I adore her.”
“She is great,” Stella says, and Emery nods.
“She’s crazy strong.”
“I’m sure the more we get to know her, we’ll fall in love with her too,” Dad says, and I make a face. Am I the only one who hasn’t met her?
“Yeah, I’ve got nothing. I haven’t met her, but congratulations. I’m sure she’s great if you like her.”
Asher looks over at me. “Love her.”
I nod. “Yeah, that.”
He shakes his head and doesn’t look excited as he holds my gaze. He looks kind of pissed. “I’ve wanted you to meet her plenty of times, but you never made the time.”
Oh, so he is pissed. “And I regret that. I hope I can meet her before the wedding.”
Asher shakes his head. “None of that matters right now. You’re supposed to get the family ring.”
I blink, unsure where he is going with this. “Okay?”
Stella makes a face. “But I want that ring!”
“Me too. It’s the prettiest and means the most!” Emery says, but Dad shakes his head.
“That ring is for Aiden. He helped me pick it out.”
Mom nods. “Daddy has updated my ring four times. There is one for each of you. You know that, Asher. I have yours if you want it.”
He shakes his head. “I wanted the first one. Like Emery says, it’s the one with the most meaning.”
Everyone then looks at me. “What?”
“I want the ring,” Asher says, and I shrug.
“Okay?”
“Okay, I can have it?”
“Okay, good for you. But, no, it’s mine.”
Asher’s face fills with color, and his eyes narrow to slits.
“I don’t know why you’re so upset. We all know who gets that ring. I was there. I picked it out.”
“Why? You won’t use it. Hell, you won’t even admit to loving her!”
There are audible gasps from my sisters, and I feel everyone’s stares as I glare at my brother. “Shut up.”
“No, it’s not fair. You won’t use it, so let me.”
“No,” I say simply. “I may be a little confused now, but if I decide one day to use it, I want it.”
“Why? You don’t even believe in love, Aiden. They fucked you up!”
Dad’s voice fills the kitchen. “What the hell is going on?”
“Asher, what in the world?” Mom asks, her gaze flicking between us. “Are you dating someone?”
I watch as Asher looks away, shaking his head. “It’s nothing. Just let it go. Give him his ring, and let it be.”
“It’s bullshit, and you know it.”
“Ash, let it go,” I warn, but his eyes meet mine once more.
“If you could look at me and tell me you’d honestly use the ring, I’d believe you. But you’ve been with her for months now, and you won’t even accept that you love her—and she sure as hell loves you. You have no plan to commit to anyone. Right now, it’s easy ’cause no one knows, but when they do, you’ll bail.”
“That’s bullshit. You don’t know shit.”
“I know you. I know what they’ve done to you.”
He jerks his thumb at my parents, and Mom smacks her hands together. “What the hell is going on? Why do you keep saying we’ve done something? What have we done?”
I don’t say anything, and neither does Asher. But then, there’s my father. “Please say this has nothing to do with she-who-must-not-be-named?”
I close my eyes as another gasp comes from the girls.
“Aiden, really? You’ve got to be kidding me. You’re not an idiot. Come on!”
Mom’s annoyance rings in her voice. “If someone doesn’t tell me what is going on, I’m going to flip this table.”
“And we wonder why Emery is the way she is,” Asher snaps, and Emery glares.
“Hey!”
Silence. I know I’ve gotta get out of here. There are four too many people who know what is going on. My mom can’t know; she’ll freak. I push back my chair. “I’m out of here.”
“The hell you are!” Mom yells, and when I look at her, her eyes are wild. “You tell me right now what the hell is going on.”
“Mom, please. It’s nothing.”
“Are you going to give me the ring?” Asher asks, and I shake my head.
“No, asshole. Let it—”
“He’s dating Shelli Adler,” Asher announces, and he doesn’t spare me a glance.
My jaw drops. “Wow. All over a ring that isn’t even yours. That’s real rich!” I yell, and the girls cower in their chairs. Dad is looking down at the table, and I refuse to look at my mother.
“May be an asshole move, but if I can’t have it, then you better fucking use it,” he snaps at me, and I think I might hit him.
Before I can snap back at him, my mom says, “Shelli Adler, as in the girl we’ve known since she was born?”
Everyone nods except me.
“The same girl you held and said she had a tomato head when she was born?”
I want to laugh. Shelli would get a kick out of that. I don’t answer, though; I just move my fork through my whipped cream.
“The same girl who was at your house this morning with sex hair?”
Well, I guess she did have some serious sex hair. I love it, though.
“That’s her,” Asher says with no problem whatsoever.
Mom’s voice is low and angry. “Asher, Stella, and Emery, get out now.”
I swallow hard, and even though my name wasn’t on the list to leave, I’m twenty-seven years old. If I want to leave, I will. I start to get up, only to stop at my mom’s voice.
“Aiden James Brooks, you better sit that ass down right now.”
At least I like to think I’m a man.
As the room clears out, I sit down, staring down at the table.
“You’ve known?”
I look up to see my dad nod. “I thought he was going to break it off.”
I feel my mom’s gaze on me. “How long?”
I shrug. “Not too long—”
“Over three months,” Asher calls from the other room.
“He has a picture of her with no pants on his phone, Mom. I think they’re sleeping together,” Emery calls.
“Y’all are so dead,” Stella laughs, and I’m vibrating with anger.
“Fucking traitors,” I mutter, and when I lean back, my mom’s eyes are on me. In slits, those green eyes are piercing as she shakes her head.
She swallows hard, and my stomach clenches. My mom is scary as fuck. “You know, if you’d told me, I would have said it’s great. I love Shelli, she’s a wonderful girl, and I think she’d be great for you. Will her dad freak? Hell yes, but he loves you and would support you. While this does have the potential to mess up our friendship with the Adlers, we are all adults and can handle it. But not when we’re bein
g lied to.”
“It’s my business—”
“That apparently everyone knows but me.”
“I didn’t want them knowing either!” I yell, holding my palms up. “Your daughters extorted me, and I thought Asher was my best friend, but that’s been revealed as a lie.” I look toward the living room. “All over a ring he’s not fucking getting!”
“Aiden James, if you don’t watch your mouth, I might wash it out with soap.”
I snap my mouth shut. I’m twenty-seven; why am I being chastised right now? “I don’t see what the big deal—”
“Oh, the big deal, you say? It’s the fact that you kept this from us. And then you’re supposedly in love with her, but you won’t accept that because of us, so please, explain to me how this is our fault.”
“I never said I was in love with her.”
“Asher seems to think so.”
“Asher is a jack—” I let the word fall off when she sets me with a look. “Mom, it’s nothing—”
“Fallon, you know why it’s our fault,” Dad says then, and I close my eyes. I don’t want to do this.
“There is no reason for anyone to be faulted right now. It’s done,” I try, but it’s as if I’m not there. Mom looks at Dad, and their eyes lock. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen them look at each other like that, but nonetheless, it takes my breath away. They look at each other like no one else is in the room. In a way, it’s how I feel when I look at Shelli.
“We’ve talked about it before. Unlike with the other three, I wasn’t there from the beginning. He didn’t get to see us in love when he was younger—”
“But we love each other more now than ever. He’s seen that,” Mom tries. “I refuse to blame us for his commitment issues.”
“But it is our fault. Mine for not being there, and yours for being so jaded when it came to relationships,” Dad says slowly. “I love you, Fallon. I love you more than I can ever express, but we did this.”
Mom looks at me, and I swallow past the emotion in my throat. I don’t want to hurt her. I love her. My mom is perfection in my eyes. She gave me a great life before Dad came along. She loved me enough for both of them, along with Audrey’s help. They were great to me, and while it was a good change when Dad came along, I know my mom did her best.
