by Toni Aleo
“I’m not, but it is what it is.”
“Shelli, call him.”
“No. I put it all out there, and he just stared at me.”
She lets out a long breath. “Shelli, you’ve been telling me since the rip that he’s skittish and is terrified of commitment. What did you think was going to happen?”
I close my eyes. “I was hoping, by now, he had figured out we have a great thing and he loves me.”
“Oh honey, I wanted that too. But maybe he isn’t ready to accept it. He’s been single his whole life until you.”
“Which means I should be enough. He settled down for me, yet he won’t admit it.”
“Shelli, you’re more than enough, and I honestly think he knows that. I saw the way he looked at you, and I saw how he wanted to rip Nico’s head off. He’s scared.”
I hate that word. I hate that he feels like that. “Which is fine, but haven’t I done enough to make him comfortable?”
“Shelli, this isn’t you. It’s him.”
“So, what do I do?”
“Call him.”
“No way. The puck is in his zone.” I know that’s my pride talking, but I refuse. I’ve done everything thus far; it’s all on him now.
She snorts. “So corny.”
I can’t even smile. I just feel empty. I hate not talking to him. I hate that he allowed Nico to come between us once more. I never even loved that guy. I’ve only ever loved Aiden, and I don’t understand how he doesn’t realize that.
“In other news, my mom is dead set on us getting married before the baby comes.”
I roll my eyes. “She’s insane.”
“Right? But she’s happy. She told me she was proud of me last night.”
I smile. “You’re going to be an awesome mom, Am.”
“And you’re gonna be the best aunt.”
“Damn right. That baby is gonna be spoiled rotten.”
Amelia laughs. “Between the Adlers, the Justices, and the Moons, I’d say so.”
“For real, and the baby will be super loved.”
“So loved,” she agrees just as the flight attendant stops beside me.
“Ms. Adler, there is an issue with takeoff.”
I scrunch up my face. “Am, let me call you back.” I hang up and then stand. “What’s wrong?”
“There is a gentleman outside who says he needs to speak to you, but he isn’t on the manifest, so I can’t let him on.”
“Huh?” I ask, and then I walk past her to the entrance of the plane.
When I look down the stairs, I see Aiden standing at the bottom. His bag is hanging on his shoulder, and he’s wearing a nice blue suit that hugs every inch of him. His hair is down, tucked behind his ears, but all I see are those gray eyes that are swimming in despair.
“They won’t let me on.”
I shrug, crossing my arms. “I didn’t think you were coming.”
“I am,” he says, sending my heart into a frenzy.
“Why?”
“’Cause I want to be with you. I want to watch you get this part, Shelli. I fucked up. I should have called you last night, but you dropped a hell of a bomb on me and I didn’t really recover. Still not sure what I am doing.”
I bite my lip before looking at the pilot, who has come out of the cockpit to stand beside me. “Can you add Aiden Brooks back on to the manifest, please?”
“Yes, ma’am.” He then turns to Aiden. “Can I see your ID, sir?”
With his eyes on me, Aiden pulls out his wallet and hands over his ID.
“You’re good to go.”
Aiden takes his ID back and then heads up the stairs as he tucks that and his wallet into his pocket. When he stops before me, two steps down so our eyes are on the same level, I find I’m holding my breath. He reaches out, snaking his arm around my waist before pulling me closer, our noses almost touching.
“I’m sorry about yesterday.” I bring my lip between my teeth as he speaks. “It isn’t fair to you, but I was overwhelmed and I was jealous. So jealous.” He leans his head into mine, and I take in a deep breath. “I don’t want to lose you.”
“Then stop acting like an idiot.”
He smiles. “Noted.” He opens his eyes to meet mine. “I couldn’t sleep last night. I was a wreck. I swear, Shelli, I feel something great for you. I may not know what love is, but I feel something.”
I roll my eyes. “You know what love is, Aiden.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I’ve seen you with your family, with mine. You’re being stubborn, but as long as you want me—”
“Shelli, I need you,” he says softly, and then he kisses my bottom lip. “I feel like I’m fucking up left and right, and damn it, you deserve better. Someone who knows what they’re feeling and what they want—”
“I want you.” I move my fingers down his jaw, and I watch as his lashes kiss his cheeks.
“I never wanted to be wanted by anyone—until now.”
That’s all I need to know.
Because by the way he’s looking at me, he’s there.
He just doesn’t realize it yet.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
AIDEN
“GOOD THING you have your own plane.”
Shelli looks over her shoulder at me as she opens one of the guitars that a friend of hers brought over for her to take back to Nashville. Apparently, she leaves guitars everywhere. “I didn’t expect to see her today, and of course, I totally forgot she had these.”
Shelli is still in her dress from the audition. It’s a dark green satin ballgown that is floor-length but with a completely open back. The front has a high neck with straps that wrap around her neck and are studded with stones. She wore her hair down in wide curls, and her makeup is dramatic and stunning. I didn’t know I liked her eyes with winged eyeliner as much as I do until now.
She was absolutely mesmerizing at her audition. She sang “All that Jazz,” but a slow, haunting piano version we’ve been working on for weeks. We weren’t sure if we should do it on the piano or guitar, but I’m happy she went with piano. It was different and classy in my opinion. Everyone else came dressed in their best Chicago attire and singing the songs the way they would be in the show, but I think Shelli stood out. I think she sparkled, and I was pretty fucking proud to be in the audience, knowing she was all mine.
And to think, I almost blew it. I don’t know what it is about Nico Merryweather, but he is a thorn in my side. I don’t like the way he looks at Shelli, and I sure as shit don’t like how he thinks she wants him. I hate how insecure he makes me—in myself and in her. I know she doesn’t want to be with him, yet I get these irrational thoughts in my head that make me want to rip him limb from limb. I refuse to allow him to come between us. I’m not saying I’m completely confident in us, but I’m opening my eyes. I don’t want to lose her, and I wasn’t lying when I said I felt something for her. I do. I feel it deep in my chest, but I’m afraid that it isn’t the love she feels for me. I’m worried that I don’t know how to feel that.
She moves her hair off her shoulder and gathers it on the other side. She’s crouched down on the floor, her dress pooling around her as she wipes off her guitar and pulls it out of the case. “I bought both of these after my first standing ovation in Frozen.”
She stands as she brings the guitar to her stomach, strumming her fingers along the strings. As she tunes it, I lift the other case and put it on the coffee table before opening it. “Why didn’t you bring them home?”
“I totally forgot about them. I brought them over to Essie’s house for a party, and I got trashed. Forgot them.”
I lift the Echo acoustic up to my chest and strum it. “Well, since you don’t want to care for them, I’ll be happy to take them home with me.”
“Please, I love these guitars. Aww, she had them tuned for me. She’s so sweet.”
I nod. “This one needs to be cleaned.”
“Yeah,” she says, and she then grabs a rag off the
sink. As she wipes them down, she looks over at me. “Was it weird seeing Chris?”
When I saw the guy who had ultimately fixed us up, I thought I would still be pissed at him, but I wasn’t. I didn’t care. “Nope. We hardly talked. Just pleasantries.”
“Oh.”
“Oh?” I ask. “What… Did you want me to fight him for your honor?”
She snorts. “No, not at all. Just thought you’d tell him about us.”
Our eyes meet. “Shell, I told him about us like a month ago.”
Her eyes widen. “You did?”
“Yeah.”
“Why? What did you say?”
My lips curve a bit as I look down at the guitar. I guess I’m a bit embarrassed. “I said, ‘Thanks for fixing us up. It was the best thing that could have happened to me.’”
“You really said that?”
I nod. “I did.”
She sends me a dazzling grin. “Well, that’s very sweet.”
“Well, it’s very true.”
I want to take her in my arms and kiss that pouty mouth. Such tenderness is all over her face, and it’s leaving me breathless. She bites her lip and then looks down at the guitar. “Wanna know the first song I played on it?” Her grin is the one she flashed when she finished her audition. I was two seconds from standing up and telling those casting people if they didn’t sign her, I would. For what, I have no clue, but I was blown away by her. I find that happens a whole lot.
“What?” I ask, looking up at her as she plays nothing in particular, but still, I think she’s beautiful doing it.
“‘Free Fallin’,’” she says happily. “I sang it at my third-grade talent show, and these guitars made me want to play it again.”
I look down at the strings. When I start the song, she stops playing. I look back up, and her eyes are full of excitement.
“You never cease to amaze me, Aiden Brooks.”
With a grin on my lips, I start to sing the popular, well-written song. She comes over to me, sitting on the coffee table in front of me, and starts playing along. “Oh, you weren’t calling me a good girl earlier,” she comments as I sing and she plays. “I do love my momma. Jesus too. Elvis is by far the greatest singer ever, and yeah, my boyfriend is okay.” I wink as I continue. “Total bad boy, but you miss me all the time.”
She isn’t wrong.
Our eyes meet when she starts to sing. Her voice complements mine, making me sound pretty damn good. Or maybe it’s just her. She looks so regal, so perfect. I lean closer, and her knees slide between my legs, our guitars almost touching as we sing in unison. I love how she sings, how her lashes kiss her cheeks when she hits those high notes. I let her take over, singing the second verse as her flirty eyes burn into mine, making me feel like this is all brand-new. Unable to handle it, I stop playing and lay my guitar down on the couch. I then reach for hers, setting it on the table before trapping her hips between my hands and bringing our mouths together. She leans into the kiss, and everything fades away.
I don’t see her sitting across from me at the ritzy restaurant I took her to. Or how she laughed her ass off when the lobster flew out of my hand when I was trying to crack it open. I don’t even see her onstage, where she absolutely belongs. As much as I don’t want to be without her, I know she has to go. She has to do this. I run my fingers along her sharp jaw, and all I feel, all I see, is her.
I stand, pulling her up with me as she wraps her arms around my neck. I undo the tie at her neck before finding the zipper at the base of her back. Once I have her all undone, I step back, and the dress falls to the floor with ease. With only some stickers on her nipples and a barely there thong, my girl stands in all her glory. Her eyes are hooded as I take her by her ass, lifting her up as our mouths meet once more.
“You’re so beautiful,” I whisper against her lips as I carry her to the bed, laying her down as I cover her sweet body with mine. Her lips curve while she pulls my shirt up and out of my slacks as our kisses deepen. I sit back, unbuttoning my shirt with her before throwing it off. “Thanks for letting me be here today. I really enjoyed watching you.”
Her eyes fill with such admiration. “Thank you for coming.”
“I’m still really sorry for yesterday. I froze—”
“It doesn’t matter now.”
I press my nose into hers. “I’m an idiot. I shouldn’t question you or even this.”
A smile plays on her lips as she unfastens my pants. “It’s part of your charm.”
I laugh as I toe out of my shoes, kicking them off along with my pants. I pull her thong down as she removes the stickers from her boobs, flinching a bit but laughing too.
“These things suck.”
“You don’t need them.”
“I didn’t want my nips to be hard!”
“I would have loved it,” I say before taking her breast into my mouth. Her fingers run through my hair as I hitch her leg up, digging my fingers into her thigh. I’m about to enter her slick center when somehow, in the lust cloud she keeps me in, I remember I don’t have a condom. I pull back and kiss between her breasts. “One second. I gotta find a condom.”
“Don’t.”
I pause and then meet her gaze. “Don’t?”
She shakes her head. “I’m on birth control.”
I lick my lips. “Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
I look down at her center and then at my hard cock. It’s right there. What’s holding me back? I meet her gaze once more, and I know why. Because if I do it without a condom, then this is more real than I ever could have imagined it would be. I now know only people who truly trust each other should have sex without condoms. I learned that from her. I’ve learned a lot from her. I drop my head to hers. I’ve learned who I want to be, and it’s the man she wants. I slowly enter her, inch by inch, falling into all-encompassing ecstasy. She felt good before, but now… Now, she is truly out of this world. She completes me.
She arches off the bed, my name falling from her lips, and my chin hits her breastbone. I’m lost. Completely lost.
I have a pretty good idea what that means.
And it terrifies me.
SHELLI MOVES her fingers through my hair as we lie naked against each other. Her body is sweet, hot against mine, and so damn beautiful. We ate a midnight snack naked and drank a bottle of champagne I had brought up along with strawberries. It’s over-the-top romantic, but I wanted her to feel special. I’m so proud of her, and I want her to feel that. The moon is shining in on us, along with the lights from the bright New York skyline, and I almost miss living here. Almost, because nothing is Nashville in my opinion. I kiss the side of her breast as I close my eyes. We have to wake up early because I have to be back for practice, but for now, I just want to lie here and not move. She hums a soft melody as I hold her, nuzzling my nose against her body.
“What song is that? I think I’ve heard it.”
“‘My Man,’ from Funny Girl.”
Maybe I don’t know it. “Sing it.”
So she does, the room filling with her angelic voice. As soon as I hear the lyrics, talking about how much she loves her man, I know it instantly. “Your mom sang this to Shea at a game. It’s on YouTube.”
“Yup. It’s one of my favorites. Her big gesture to get him back.”
“My mom stood in the rain and yelled at my dad to join her.” A smile pulls at my lips. “They got into a fight over my aunt Audrey lying to my mom or something. Dad wasn’t ready to stop fighting for my mom, but she gave up. Tried to give up. I don’t know. It was a mess. My mom tried so hard to stay away from my dad, when it was obvious they belonged together.”
A silence envelops us, but Shelli’s fingers still slide through my hair. “Do you think that’s why you are the way you are? So hesitant about feeling something for someone?”
Not someone. Her. I didn’t care to feel anything before now. I bite my lip and then nod. “Yeah.”
“It worked out for her, though.”
/> “After a whole lot of pain,” I answer, and then her fingers stop.
“Aiden, I won’t hurt you.”
“The thing is, I know that,” I say, and then I lift my head to look at her. “I know that deep inside myself, but then I get freaked out at the thought of you finding someone better than me—”
“There is no one better,” she says softly, her eyes holding me captive. “Not for me.”
I want to feel high from that thought, but instead, I feel held down by my uncertainties. “But I can’t shake it. I feel like you deserve someone better, like you’re too good for me—”
“How would you feel if I left?”
“Devastated,” I say quickly, without much thought. Then I pause. “But in a manly way, of course.”
“Of course,” she says with a smile. She reaches down, cupping my face. “I know love and relationships are uncertain, Aiden, but sometimes, someone is worth the risk you have to take.”
“How do you know I am?” I find myself asking, and her lips curve more.
“Because I’ve loved you my whole life,” she says unabashedly, with so much certainty and confidence. “I love your drive, how you worked endlessly to get into the NHL. I love how smart you are, how you were taking AP classes in middle school. I know I did the same because I wanted to be smart like you. I love how kind you are, how caring you are. You love and treat your sisters like princesses, and the relationship you have with Asher, pre-what just happened, is beautiful. I love how much you love your mom and how your dad is your best friend. I love how much you’ve changed over the last couple months. It isn’t strictly about the game anymore or how to master it, even though you do just that. But it’s also about who you can help. You’re a great teammate. You’d do anything for the guys, and you’re my favorite person to work with for the foundation. You’re eager to jump in and to come up with ideas for what we can do.” Her head falls to the side as she brushes my hair behind my ears. Her eyes are only on me, making me feel warm inside. “I love how you make me feel. I love how you make me laugh. I love how you’ll listen to me talk about stats every morning and not get annoyed. You encourage me, believe in me. I love that you know my family and love them. I love that you don’t judge my weirdness with cleaning—”
