‘What’s the matter?’ I asked, when I saw he wasn’t going to speak.
He looked at me and his eyes were bleak. ‘I’ve thought about what Darius said for more than a week now.’
‘You mean about the oracle?’ I’d been wondering when he’d get around to that. I could tell it had been on his mind. Sometimes he could be remarkably transparent.
‘Yes, about the oracle. What did Darius mean? Do you really know everything I want to know? And dare I ask?’ he added, almost to himself.
‘All I know for certain is that I want to find our son.’
‘No,’ he said, and his voice was sad. ‘No, don’t lie to me. I can feel it. So can Usse. And everyone around you. The soldiers you treated, they felt it too. I heard about the miracle of the arrow. From “Ashley of the Sacred Sandals” you’ve become “Ashley of the Arrow Miracle”.’
‘It wasn’t a miracle. It was stuck in his armour and he was too shocked to realize it. Even I was fooled. When I took off his armour and it fell on the floor, I was as surprised as anyone else. Honest.’
Alexander sighed and nibbled on a piece of bread, but I could tell he was distracted. Finally he squared his shoulders and looked at me. ‘Do you still love me?’
The question surprised me. ‘Of course! Why do you ask?’
‘Because of me, you were kidnapped. You had a baby, and he was taken away from you because he was mine. I was the one who brought you back from the cold realm of Hades, but it was against your will. You fought me while I was trying to rescue you. Everything bad that’s happened to you has been caused by me. I haven’t even been able to find our son. And so I wondered how you could still love me.’
I got up, walked around the tray, and sat on his lap, pulling his head onto my shoulder and putting my arms around him. ‘I love you more than anyone I’ve ever known. I love you more than I love myself.’ I hugged him tightly, willing him to believe me. ‘I can’t help it if I seem cold and distant. I was brought up to hide my feelings, I told you that. I don’t know how to deal with emotion. I had the worst time with the wounded men. I never saw anyone die before, and it terrified me. I couldn’t bear it. You’re so much stronger than I am. You’re not afraid of anything.’
He put his arms around me and held me. ‘I’m afraid,’ he whispered. ‘I’m afraid that you’ll leave me. I’m afraid of losing you. You heard Aristotle – if there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s losing.’ He laughed softly. ‘Do you remember when I asked you to be my oracle?’
‘I remember.’ I felt ill.
‘Then tell me. I am as brave as Darius, and he is a very brave man. So tell me. Will I see the edge of the earth?’
I smiled through my tears. ‘Look at me, Alex,’ I said. He did, and I picked up an orange. ‘This is what the earth is like. It is as round as this orange. You can walk from one side to the other, but there is no edge. Therefore, I can answer your question. No, the edge of the earth you will never see.’
‘So why are you crying?’ he asked.
‘Because I don’t want to be your oracle. I want to be your friend. I’m already your wife and your lover, but what I want most of all is to be your friend. And I’m afraid Usse is right, I’m afraid it’s impossible.’
His mouth twisted and he cursed softly under his breath. ‘I had a friend once,’ he said, ‘and I killed him. I’m afraid I’m not very good at friendship.’
‘What happened?’ I asked, turning his face towards me.
He wouldn’t look at me. ‘I thought I was as brave as Darius, but now I’m not so sure.’ He paused and laughed shakily. ‘I’m afraid to tell you.’
‘Don’t be. Please.’
‘Maybe someday. When things have calmed down a bit. Right now I have too much to do. Nearchus has sent word. He and Plexis will be here within two weeks.’
He left right after that, leaving me to draw my own conclusions about what he’d said. I realized that he was hurting. Hurting because he hadn’t gotten our son back, because I couldn’t express my feelings for him, or for anyone, and because he wanted to leave and find Paul. But he was trapped here. He had to wait for Nearchus to arrive.
I shivered. I’d managed to feel safe for a while but Nearchus worried me. He’d shown up a year ago and I’d been kidnapped. Even though Olympias had been behind it, she had to be working with someone. I thought that someone was probably Alexander’s general, Nearchus. For some reason, he wanted me out of the way. And this time, it might be for good.
Chapter Ten
I spent my mornings helping Usse. He told me that there was less infection than usual, and he attributed it to the boiling of the bandages. He had accepted the existence of tiny, invisible creatures. He now waged a pitiless war against them, boiling all his instruments then peering closely at them, trying to catch a glimpse of the micro monsters.
In the afternoon, I walked for miles each day to go to the village near Persepolis. I could have cut my walk in half if I’d gone through the fabled city, but I couldn’t. It gave me the creeps. It made me think of a huge, empty tomb. The ghosts of the soldiers who died defending it lived there. I walked around the city and avoided the battlefield, which had so much blood steeped into it.
The way to the village was pretty. It wound past two small hills and crossed a shallow creek. There was no bridge but large, flat stones had been placed in a straight line. The water didn’t cover them entirely; they formed stepping-stones from one side to the other. Alexander had given me a white donkey to ride, but I preferred the exercise, so I led the donkey and used her to carry provisions back to the tent.
Alexander’s army was staying in the area over the winter, and in the spring we would head north towards Bactria, to try to find our son. The weather in Bactria was much cooler than in Persia and I was afraid the soldiers, half-naked and used to a warmer climate, would suffer. I decided to see what I could find to keep them warm. In the marketplace I found a merchant selling wool flannel. I bought a few yards and took it to my tent to talk to Axiom about it. He was Alexander’s valet. Perhaps he could help me.
Back at the camp there was an unfamiliar bustle around Alexander’s tent and, with trepidation, I recognized Plexis standing under the fig tree, speaking seriously to Antipatros.
I wondered at my reaction. Why didn’t I like Plexis? He was a handsome man; perhaps that was part of the problem. He was even better looking than Alexander because he was smoother; there were no rough edges. He was refined, whereas Alexander still had some of the barbarian left in him. Plexis was Athenian – everyone else was beneath him. It was the city dweller’s snobbery. He looked down his perfect nose at the country bumpkins. The fact that Alexander was his king didn’t change anything. Athens was a democracy. Plexis couldn’t care less about kings. And he didn’t care for women. Athenian women were the unhappiest women in the entire federation. They would have preferred to live on Lesbos, an island in the Aegean populated almost entirely by women. It had schools for girls. – something unheard of in Athens where women were expected to stay home cooking, cleaning, sewing, weaving, and doing all those fascinating things men would rather die than do. Plexis wasn’t a bad man, he was simply a product of his city and times, and I would cheerfully have pushed his head in the latrine.
Especially after his greeting – he saw me and scowled.
I’d stabled my donkey and washed my hands and face in one of the large pots of water heating near the bathhouse, so I was clean. Rosewater scented my skin, and I’d run a comb through my hair, which was the wonder of the camp. No one had such pale hair and most people marvelled at it.
I was looking quite presentable, but Plexis still scowled as I approached.
I decided to charm him. I put on my brightest smile.
‘Hello, Hephaestion – or do you prefer Plexis? Won’t you come in the tent and get out of the hot sun? I’ll ask Brazza to bring us some fruit juice, unless you’d rather have wine?’ I smiled and put my hand on his arm, which was a polite sign of greeting in Athens.
He looked at my hand as if it were a new type of bloodsucking insect he’d just discovered crawling up his arm. ‘Yes, I prefer Plexis. No, I’m not thirsty. When will Iskander be back?’
I snatched my hand away. ‘Fine, I’ll just leave you here for now. Iskander, as you probably know, is in Persepolis taking care of several tons of treasure.’ I smiled sweetly. It was when I smiled sweetly that I was the most awful. ‘Don’t you think it’s wonderful? I mean, about all that treasure. Speaking of treasure, I do hope Alexander sorts out that dreadful story about Harpalus. Was he a friend of yours? I heard he was from Athens, and Athens is such a small village, I’m sure you know everyone.’ Calling Athens a village was possibly the worst affront I could give it.
He blinked. ‘Are you from Sparta?’ he asked coldly, giving me the most terrible insult he could imagine.
I batted my eyelashes. ‘Sparta? No, I never had the pleasure to visit that city.’
‘And I suppose you’ve been to Athens?’ His voice was freezing.
Freezing voices had sung me to sleep. ‘Many times,’ I waved my hand dismissively. The ruins of the Acropolis had been crawling with tourists and covered with graffiti when I’d seen it last. ‘It’s quaint.’
‘Quaint?’ he choked.
‘Well, you know, charming. Will you be coming to Bactria with us? I do hope so. It’s a wild country, but beautiful. And I know how much you Athenians love beauty.’
He had most likely never talked to a woman about his plans for the future, and he was certainly not going to start with me. He turned toward the fig tree as if looking for some ripe figs. Perfectly ridiculous, they wouldn’t be ripe for another six months. I decided to needle him just a touch more.
‘Is Iskander really your king?’
‘Yes, of course. He’s a great king.’ He frowned at the tree.
‘And what about his wives? Are they queens?’
‘Technically, yes.’ There were no ripe figs, so he plucked a leaf and rolled it up tightly.
‘Ah. That’s nice to know. So, technically I’m your queen.’ I smiled.
He turned green.
I went into the tent humming. I couldn’t give a fig about him.
I remembered belatedly what Aristotle had said. Alexander had killed his best friend, and it had been Plexis’s brother. Abruptly I felt remorseful. I didn’t want him as an enemy. I went back outside where I saw Plexis still standing in the shade. He hadn’t moved, but the leaf had fallen from his hand and lay in the dust.
‘Plexis?’
My voice startled him, or perhaps it was the tone. ‘Yes?’ he was wary.
‘Please come inside. I have some lovely wine and I want to ask your advice about something. I’m sorry I was such a bitch. Can we start over?’
He hesitated, then nodded. ‘Very well. I think wine is just what I need.’
Once inside the tent he was awkward again, refusing to sit on the rug next to me. Instead he paced back and forth until Brazza bought us the wine. I had fruit juice.
Plexis stared suspiciously at the wine and I uttered an exclamation of impatience. ‘Give me that.’ I took a healthy swig and gave the glass back to him. ‘See, no poison. Sit down, Plexis. We definitely have to talk.’
He stared at me in surprise. ‘About what?’ he asked.
‘Why are you here?’ I thought it was best to remain direct.
Plexis sipped his wine and thought a moment. Finally, he said, in a normal voice, ‘What is your name, if I may ask?’
‘You may. My name is Ashley. Iskander married me in Susa so I’m legally his third wife. You and I met once before near Arbela, when you came upriver with Nearchus.’
‘I remember. You disappeared while we were marching toward Babylon. What happened? We thought you’d been eaten by a crocodile.’
‘No such luck,’ I said flippantly. ‘I was taken to Mazda. I spent a year there at the temple of Gulu.’
He nodded. ‘Ah, so you went to study healing to help in Iskander’s army. I admire your devotion.’
‘No. I was a prisoner. Olympias decided she wanted me out of the way. Some silly misunderstanding about an oracle.’
He raised his eyebrows. ‘So that’s why she was so angry. I saw her in Athens, she passed through on her way to Pella.’
I studied his face. He looked back at me. He had long eyelashes and they made it hard to judge his expression. He was one of the few people who met my gaze without blinking.
‘Your eyes are so cold,’ he said, looking at me from beneath his lashes.
‘I always thought that the eyes were the mirror of the soul,’ I answered, piqued.
‘A philosopher. Iskander is lucky indeed.’
‘Thank you.’ I finished my fruit juice and wondered how much I should tell him, and how much he would tell me. ‘Are you staying long?’
‘I may. I haven’t made up my mind. Nearchus is coming in a few days.’
‘Actually, I thought you were together.’
‘No, he’s overseeing construction of the port in Alexandria.’
‘How nice. Have they started building the great library yet?’ I had spoken without thinking.
‘How could you know about the library? It was supposed to be my surprise for Iskander!’ He was startled out of his composure.
‘I won’t say anything, honest.’
‘Answer my question, woman, how did you know?’ He leaned toward me, a fierce gleam in his eyes.
‘I just guessed, all cities have libraries, don’t they? You’re hurting me!’
He was gripping my wrist. ‘I spoke to Olympias. There was no mistake. The oracle said that you would bring about her ruin, and you did, didn’t you? She said something else, do you want to ...’
Things might have gotten out of hand, but luckily, at that moment, Alexander decided to make his entrance. He ducked into the tent and stopped. No one had told him Plexis was here in his tent, bending my arm.
‘Plexis!’ The word cracked through the air.
He let me go, sulkily, and turned away from me. ‘Iskander, my king.’
‘Do you really believe that?’ he sounded curious. He squatted down next to me and examined my wrist. It was sore, but not bruised. ‘The next time you hurt my wife I may lose my temper, Plexis.’
‘Is that a warning?’ he snarled.
‘I would take it as one,’ said Alexander, looking into my eyes. ‘Are you all right?’
‘I’m fine. Actually, it was my fault. I frightened him. I’m sorry. I seem to be good at that.’
‘Yes, you are. I think you should be careful whom you frighten in the future. A caged king is one thing, but a free Athenian is quite another.’
I grinned. ‘I’ll remember that.’
‘Good.’ He stood up and faced his guest. ‘Can I get you anything to drink, Plexis?’
‘Like hemlock,’ I muttered.
Plexis gave a startled laugh. There had been real fear in his eyes when Alexander had come in. ‘No, thank you, your wife has already taken care of that.’ He looked at me again, his eyes hooded. ‘I beg your pardon, Lady. I didn’t mean to hurt you. What you said was true. You did frighten me.’ He turned to Alexander. ‘I meant it to be a surprise, but I will tell you now. I’m building a monument in your honour in Alexandria. It will be the largest library in the world, and it will stand on a hill near the city’s entrance.’
Alexander looked pleased. ‘Thank you, that’s wonderful news. When will Nearchus arrive?’
‘In a day or so. I got word just before I left Athens.’
‘How goes the trial?’
‘It hasn’t started yet. I shouldn’t worry. Harpalus is dead, by the way. I don’t know if you’d heard.’
‘I heard.’ Alexander was grim. ‘Who killed him?’
‘Don’t you mean who had him killed? I don’t know. There are rumours, of course. Olympias, your mother, thinks he was killed by yours truly,’ he bowed. ‘But I was nowhere near Crete.’
‘You saw my mother?�
� Alexander asked darkly, pouring himself a cup of fruit juice from an earthenware pitcher.
‘The beautiful Olympias. Incredible how well she looks. Did you know she went to see Barsine?’
Alexander dropped his drink. Juice spilled all over the rug, and his cup bounced twice before rolling under the table. I grabbed a linen towel and sopped up the mess. ‘Who’s Barsine?’ I asked.
‘Wife number three, meet wife number one,’ said Plexis sweetly. I’d met my match.
‘The barbarian? Barsine is her name?’
Alexander looked pained. ‘Why did my mother go to see Barsine?’
‘Oh, hadn’t you heard?’ Plexis looked like a cat tasting cream on his whiskers. ‘Barsine’s planning on joining you. She heard you were camping here all winter, and she wants to see you. I think,’ he paused and looked at me slyly, ‘I think she wants to have a baby. That’s how women are. They want little ones to cuddle and tickle. Sweet babies. Olympias convinced Barsine that now is the time to see you, before you leave for Zeus-knows-where.’
We stared at him. Plexis smiled broadly and swept out of the tent. I sat on the bed. I had to think.
Alexander paced aimlessly, picking things up and putting them down. He took his ceremonial helmet and looked at it, smoothing the tassels in the back. Then he unfolded his tunic and fingered the stiff pleats. He touched the blue glass lamp, making it swing. Finally he sat down next to me on the bed and said, ‘You know, I really should have had her killed.’
I laughed nervously. ‘No, you were right to let your mother go. She’s just trying to help, I’m sure. From what I understand she went to see an oracle and this person put some wild ideas in her head. It’s not your mother’s fault.’
‘But Barsine! Why?’
‘She’s a woman, she wants a baby. It would make her happy.’ I shuddered, though. If the history books were correct, Olympias would kidnap one of Alexander’s wives and her child. They would all be killed by Cassander. Was it Barsine? Stateira? I wished I could remember more details. What would happen if I told Alexander? If I warned him, what would happen then? I put my face in my hands. What could I do? When Alexander died I would be alone here, and I would have a hard enough time keeping out of the murderous fray that followed his death. If I had my own baby back, my Paul, I would have to find a way to care for him. I bit my fingernails, distressed. I couldn’t risk being erased; no one would take care of Paul. Or would he disappear too? I got up and paced back and forth.
The Road to Alexander Page 16
