Georgiana, can I hold you?
She’d been so afraid, and Landon’s words were so tender, his touch so comforting. He’d used her full name, and there had been something precious about that too. She hadn’t cared that they were both “filthy,” as her mother had noted upon coming in. The only thing that mattered was that Landon was there, that he cared and wanted to hold her until her fear subsided.
How long had it been since she’d been held like that?
“Georgiana, Abi and I will be leaving in about an hour. Are you sure you don’t want to come with us for her school placement test? You’ve finished your transcriptions for today, haven’t you?”
Georgiana nodded, continued moving back and forth in the rocker. She wanted to go with Abi, but practically every teacher at Claremont Elementary had known Georgiana when she could see. They would all be staring at her, or become eerily quiet when she entered a room, or try to determine how to get out of her way without making noise. Since she didn’t know the layout of the school well enough, she’d need her white cane, and she hated using the cane in front of Abi.
That thing only draws more attention to you.
Pete’s voice echoed through her thoughts, and she knew he was right.
“Mom, I don’t want to go to the school today. I promised Abi I’d go to her recital, and I will. But that’s the next time I plan to get out in public. Going to the square the other night was horrible. People were staring.” Her mother inhaled, but Georgiana continued before she could disagree. “I may not be able to see them, but I can feel them.”
The rocker next to hers creaked as her mother sat beside her on the porch.
“I had a wonderful time with Abi yesterday at the pond, without the pressure of people staring and whispering. I want to share more time with her like that first and build up to going out, if that’s okay.”
“Of course it is, and I wasn’t going to ask you again,” her mother said. “But I do want to talk to you about something else.”
“Pete or Landon?”
“Oh, dear, am I that predictable?”
Georgiana reached out, found her mother’s hand then squeezed. “It’s okay. I know it’s only because you care.”
“I do,” Eden said, “and I’m tired of talking about Pete.”
“Me too,” Georgiana said with a smile. “So we’re talking about Landon.”
Her mother laughed softly. “Yes, I guess we are. You were thinking about it, weren’t you? While you were sitting out here? About his idea to help you ride Fallon again?”
She’d been thinking about him, but not necessarily the idea that her mother tossed out last night. She’d been thinking of how good it felt to be held by him. And she’d also been thinking about the lie she told him Saturday. How would she ever tell him the truth?
“It’d be good for you to ride again, Georgiana,” her mother continued. “And I honestly believe it’d be good for you to let Landon help.”
Georgiana pushed her other thoughts aside and concentrated on the subject at hand. No doubt riding Fallon again would make her happy, if it were possible, but she didn’t know if she necessarily needed Landon to help her accomplish the task. There were risks involved with spending time with Landon Cutter that didn’t involve getting injured riding.
The main risk, as Georgiana saw it, was losing her heart. And if she did, how could she stand being hurt again when he, like Pete, couldn’t handle the burden of dealing with her blindness? Or, even more likely, he couldn’t forgive himself if he found out what caused it. “I do want to ride Fallon again.” She shifted in the seat so that she faced her mother. “But I don’t understand why you can’t help me. It wouldn’t be that different than any other riding lesson. And it’s like you said, it isn’t as though I don’t know how to ride. I simply have to remember and apply my old knowledge to doing it without sight.”
Her mother huffed out a breath. “Georgiana, I’m fairly certain you realize he doesn’t merely want to help you ride again. That young man cares about you. Don’t you think he can see that you aren’t living anymore, cooped up in this house day in and day out? Yes, he wants to teach you to ride, but he wants more than that, and I think you know it. He wants his old friend back.”
Georgiana swallowed, rocked back and forth. “I’m not certain we can be friends like that again.” Her heart was already leaning way beyond friendship. She’d hardly been able to concentrate on her transcription at all today because she kept tuning out the doctors and hearing Landon. Georgiana, can I hold you? Goose bumps trickled down her arms, an obvious response to the effects his words had on her vulnerable heart.
“Why couldn’t you be friends?”
“Too much has changed.” She thought of all the possibilities for getting hurt if she let herself get close to Landon again. And for hurting him. “He has no idea what my limitations are now and how difficult it would be to hang around me the way he used to. He doesn’t realize how much of a burden it is to try to help someone who is blind.”
“Heavens, Georgiana. Every man out there is not like Pete Watson, ready to turn tail and run if a relationship doesn’t come easy.”
“You didn’t say anything about a relationship with Landon. You said friendship,” Georgiana quickly clarified. “Mom, if you’ve got your hopes up for something more, then you need to push those thoughts aside.”
“And why should I do that?”
“Because I wouldn’t even consider it.” Georgiana’s words grew choppy from the emotion seeping its way in and from the fact that her heart was already trying to consider that very thing. “I couldn’t do that to Landon, try to convince him that there could be more for the two of us, because I would never want him to settle for someone like me.”
“If you ask me, he wouldn’t be settling, not in his opinion, anyway. And something else. I may not be the only one who has their hopes up that you two will not only rekindle your friendship but also see if there’s more than friendship in the picture.” She blew out an exasperated breath. “There, I said it.”
“Mom, please. Don’t go there. I do not have my hopes up for that.”
“I’m not talking about you,” Eden said. “I’m talking about him.”
“I can’t talk about this now,” Georgiana whispered, but her heart was already thumping a potentially happy tune. What if Landon did want something more?
I’m sorry, Georgiana. I need someone who is still young. You act like an old woman, sitting in this apartment all the time and afraid to go out. I want to live. I deserve to live. I mean, what guy would want to deal with this all the time?
Pete’s words echoed in her heart, and Georgiana found herself tamping down on the glimmer of hope.
“If you don’t want to talk about Landon’s feelings toward you, at least talk about the possibility of accepting his friendship again. You need a friend, Georgiana, someone to help you gain the courage to get out of this house and live again. And he wants to do that. Start by spending time with him and learning to ride Fallon again.”
“Mom, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“You were always so happy when you rode. I want to see you that happy again. And I’m sure Abi would love to see you happy.” She cleared her throat. “There are only a couple of weeks left until the recital. You need to think about that and start preparing yourself to go back out in the real world again.”
“You think learning to ride Fallon will help me with that?” Georgiana knew her mother meant well, but spending that much time with Landon? He’d made her so nervous Saturday that she’d fallen all over herself trying to get away. Then yesterday he’d made her something. Excited, nervous and hopeful. And hope had often brutally hurt her in the past.
“I don’t know that learning to ride again will do the trick, but I’m certain that spending time with Landon won’t hurt. I’m n
ot going to teach you to ride again,” she said emphatically. “He is.”
“What if I don’t let him?”
“Then I guess you’ll keep sitting in this house, moping away the days and never getting out of your comfort zone. And I will personally raise your daughter, and you’ll become an old spinster, destined to sit in one of these rocking chairs until you die.”
Georgiana couldn’t hold back her smile. “You’re terrible.”
Eden’s rocker scraped on the porch as she scooted closer to her daughter. Then Georgiana felt the warmth of her mother’s arm draping around her in a hug. “Honey, I’m only trying to help you. And I can’t imagine anything that would help you more than letting a young man who cares about you help you do something that we both know you want to do.”
“You really think I could ride again? Without getting hurt?” Have mercy, she couldn’t control the hope in her tone.
So you’ll try to ride a horse, fall off and kill yourself—or give yourself yet another disability. That’s real smart, Georgiana. Leaving Abi with no mother at all. Or even less of a real one.
Georgiana shook Pete’s words away and focused on listening to her mother instead.
“That young man killed a snake for you yesterday. Do you honestly think he’d let you get hurt on a horse? Plus, everything I’ve read on the subject says there’s no reason that you shouldn’t ride again. You were always a talented rider, very careful too. And Fallon’s the most genteel horse around. I’ve told my riding students that if they want her to stop, they only need to hold their breath. And if they do, Fallon’s so good, she stops.”
Georgiana smiled. She did have an amazing horse, and Fallon would undoubtedly take extra care if she had Georgiana in her saddle. “Fallon is special, isn’t she?”
“She is,” Eden agreed. “And so are you, honey. You want to ride her again, don’t you?”
Georgiana couldn’t lie. “I do.”
“And Landon wants to help you,” Eden said. Then the front door opened and Abi’s fast steps crossed the porch.
“Almost time, Grandma?”
“Yes dear, it’s almost time,” Eden said. “We’ll leave in a few minutes. Why don’t you get my purse for me before we go?”
“Okay.” Abi’s steps moved closer to the rockers. “Love you, Mommy.” She hugged Georgiana and kissed her cheek.
“Love you right back.”
Abi’s steps faded away as she went inside, and Eden didn’t wait before broaching the subject of Landon again. “Let him help you, Georgiana.” She squeezed Georgiana’s arm. “I’ve been praying for God to give you the help you need to get past all of this, and I think that’s what He has done...with Landon.”
Georgiana cleared her throat. “Mom, I don’t think it’ll be that easy.”
“Try to focus on something other than all of the negative things Pete said to you over the years. I know he hurt you terribly, but I don’t want that hurt to control your life forever. And I can’t help but think that there’s another young man who would have never turned his back on you. Maybe he’s the one who will help you learn to trust again, maybe even help you learn to love again.”
“Mom, you and I both know that can’t happen. I can’t let him—” Georgiana started, but Eden interrupted.
“I’ll repeat what he told me at church. You are too young and way too beautiful to stop living.”
“Landon said that?”
“He did. And he wants to be your friend again, the way you were such good friends back in high school.”
“Become friends again,” Georgiana repeated, her mind churning that idea. She had missed having a true friend. Linda had been terrific to have close by in Tampa, but their friendship was based more on similar circumstances than years of building trust. Georgiana and Landon had known each other so well that she could tell what he was thinking by merely looking into those amber eyes.
She swallowed. She couldn’t look into his eyes. That wouldn’t be the way she’d be able to tell what he thought anymore. In fact, growing close to Landon again wouldn’t be easy without her sight, but she yearned to be close to someone special. And deep in her heart, she wanted that person to be Landon. But how could she get close to him without telling him the truth?
“Give him a chance to be your friend again,” Eden coaxed. “If you do that first, then the riding shouldn’t be nearly as difficult.”
Georgiana’s cell phone rang before she could respond. She pulled it out of her jeans pocket and flipped it open. “Hello.”
“Georgie, it’s Landon.”
Her pulse sped up as she immediately recalled his strong heartbeat pulsing against her ear when he’d held her. And she recalled with utter clarity that she wanted to be in his arms again. She inhaled, let it out and focused on keeping her voice steady. “Hi, Landon.”
She heard her mother lean against the porch railing while obviously listening to Georgiana’s end of the conversation.
“I got your cell number from your mother at church Sunday. I hope it’s okay for me to call, because I wanted to ask you about something.” He paused. “Did your mom tell you what we talked about?”
“About me riding again?”
“That, and letting me help you do it,” he said.
“Yes, she did.”
“And?”
Georgiana thought about what would be involved with riding Fallon. There was no way Landon could teach her verbally. He’d be helping her saddle Fallon, helping her mount, helping her in several ways that put him in close proximity. What if that close proximity caused her to feel even more than what she was already starting to feel? Right now, she felt comfort in his arms. She felt safe. But what if she actually felt desire stir inside of her again? She hadn’t felt that in years, mainly because she’d known that her desire for Pete wasn’t reciprocated. But what if her mother was right and Landon might actually still have those types of feelings toward Georgiana?
Then she wouldn’t be able to let this happen, because she wouldn’t want him to become as discouraged with her as Pete had been, once he realized just how limited she was. And how long would it take him to put two and two together and figure out what really caused her blindness?
“I don’t know,” she whispered.
“Georgie, you can’t keep on the way you’re living. You need to learn how to enjoy life again, the way you did yesterday on that walk to the pond. And you need to remember how good it feels to have a friend again.” He paused. “You need to remember how good it feels for us to be friends.”
“Be friends again,” she said, mulling over his words and the possibilities of his proposition.
“Yeah, friends again,” he said, and she could hear the hope in his voice. “Come on, Georgie.”
When she didn’t readily answer, he continued, “I’ve finished what I had to do at work and around town today and am almost done with everything around the farm. I’d like to come over and visit with you, tell you what all has been going on in my life. And I’d like for you to do the same. Basically, I’m asking if you want to hang out the way we used to.”
“You aren’t planning to try to teach me to ride Fallon?”
“I am, but not today.”
An afternoon with an old friend visiting and catching up, the way they used to do each day after school. An old friend who protected her, made her feel safe. “Okay,” she said, and was surprised that she felt the beginnings of anticipation.
“I’ll be there in about an hour,” he said, and she could literally hear his smile. “And Georgie?”
“Yes?”
“Thanks.”
Chapter Nine
Landon hung up the phone and glanced down at his shirt, stuck to him completely with sweat. His hair was also drenched, and he probably smelled like the inside of the barn. Even th
ough this was the “look” he had yesterday, it wasn’t exactly what he was going for when he went to see Georgie today. He’d waited until he was done with his deliveries and his work on the farm with John before he called, but he should’ve thought to have taken a shower before picking up the phone, in case she said yes.
And she had said yes.
“How about that, Sam? She said yes. Well, she said okay, but that’s close enough.”
“So, I’m in the next stall, and you’re talking to Sam. Makes me feel real special,” John drawled.
“Sam doesn’t talk back,” he said, and left the barn to the sound of John’s laughter. He hustled across the yard and took the porch steps two at a time in his eagerness to get ready.
His day had started out rough with that meeting at the bank but maybe, just maybe, it’d end on a much better note...with Georgiana.
After a quick shower, he returned to the barn wearing a denim shirt, jeans, boots and his Stetson. He winked at Sam while he saddled her up. “I know she can’t see me but that doesn’t mean I should skimp on any of the details.” Thankfully, John had headed to the house, so he didn’t get any smart remarks from his brother about his conversation with his horse.
Within minutes, he left the barn and made his way toward the mountain. Crisp pine and warm earth mingled to tease his senses as he navigated the trail. He’d missed the stunning girl that had so often shared this scene with him growing up. But today he’d spend time with her, the way they used to, and he couldn’t wait.
It’d always been Georgiana in Landon’s world. No matter that he was on another continent. No matter if he was in the heat of battle. Even when he suffered from a gunshot wound, he’d thought of Georgiana before anyone else. True, he’d thought a chance to love her was gone, but he’d still missed the girl he’d cared for. And now, there was a chance at forever again with Georgiana.
By the time he crested the ridge, his heart thundered so wildly he was certain it pumped against his ribs. He’d been nervous in Afghanistan. Always ready, but always nervous. But this was a different kind of nervous. This was what he’d equate to first-date jitters. Or first day of school. Or meeting a girl’s parents. Landon hadn’t felt that kind of nervous in a decade...until now.
Love Reunited Page 10
