but I have obtained a key
and I wait for you
beside the rows
of night blooming jasmine
Your starless nights
your lipstick life
you work
as a silhouette
I was just a minor figure
in the junta
your strapless night
your cigarette
the moon behind
your deco silhouette
The colonel wanted you
as did the Minister
of the Interior
I was just a minor figure
in the junta
a lieutenant
in the palace guard
I cannot forget
that lonely summer
{and the sky} and that night
so luminously starred
It is not for me
to explain or justify
the history of mankind
It is not my place
to make a statement
I was educated by the Jesuits
and the Sanhedrin
but no one could explain to me
the screaming from the basement
Adolf Hitler Mussolini
Stalin Mao Tse Tung
I wasn’t born a devil
but I dreamed of being one
I still get many offers
but there’s someone I must thank
All of us were robbed
& Dylan was the Bank
The leading man
the leading man
the man I’ll never be
he stole my woman
in New York
and my horse
in Tennessee
***
Studio May 24 ’03
How long
will you go on pretending
there’s something
you know how to fix
How many more digital shots will you {edit?} take
of the helpless, the old and dead & the sick
Will you ever stand up and be seen
by the sultan, the slaves, and the secret police
and when are you going to
stand up and be seen
When are you going diving for coins
to stop swimming
in the lakes and the sewers of filth
When are you going to help someone out
who’s certainly
going to be killed
When are you going to be fingered
and be stripped
by a dreamer who’s aching
to kick out your teeth
how long will you go on diving
for changes in the sewers of filth
***
The truth minus 7%
He only kissed you
on the cheek
and he only touched your hand
you say that nothing happened
and I’ll let your story stand
That’s a {mighty?} big bunch of roses
that “nothing happened” sent
but I thank you for telling
the truth to me
The truth minus seven
Percent
***
Frankfurt Airport Feb 19, 2002
I’d like to pray
five times a day
in fact I do
I’d like to live
as though G-d lived
through me and you
in fact I do
***
Mumbai
[?] Jan 3, ’03
We made a little garden
in the middle of L.A.
so our hearts
they wouldn’t harden
& our spirits
they could play
***
Annie’s asleep by the fireside
That’s my book in her hand
That’s my thorn in her side.
We loved that way
” ” ” ”
” ” ” ”
for more than a year, I’d say.
***
I used to have a life
I was living at the centre
There’s people {places [?] went} that I love
& there’s women that I know
A waitress called me sir
then she called me Leonard
I like the edge it’s better
than the centre
***
It has waited until this night
concealed in tears, and {the} lines I’ve
conferred, and broken promises
It believes, though I do not believe
It waits, though I have given up waiting
It is strong, though I am not
Everything else I have misused and squandered
because I could not lie about this love
It summons me, though I have no courage
and it bids me to say these words
to you:
I have waited for you all my life
I have never given myself to another
You are my first love and my last
***
I’m trying to catch the future
I don’t know which way it goes
I’ve got a stomach full of ouzo {sunlight}
and a sterling silver nose
My guitar is very quiet
There’s a song it likes to tell me
My songs are like the stars
They {just} control they don’t compel me
And my love is blonde and ancient
I met her by the sea
She was putting things together
and she needed some of me
Come back here when you’re thirsty
she whispered thru a wave
Then she took me down a thousand feet
to the midwife in my grave
and she saved us in a grave
There’s a song it needs to tell me
My songs are only planets
They control, they don’t compel me
and my love is blonde and ancient
I met her by the sea
She was putting things together
and she needed some of me
Come back here when you’re thirsty
She whispered through a wave
Then she took me down a thousand feet
and sewed us in a grave
I have my hand on both our bodies
It’s the bridge I cannot find
through the razorblades and daisies
to the birth we leave behind
***
Dec 18th 2011 Palisades
I am a living statue
I moved for you
when you gave me
a quarter euro
My closest friend
sprayed me bronze
early this morning
when it was
still dark
I am the best
living statue
in Germany
I make a fortune
No one is as still
as I am
I hover over
my bronze body
like a bird
above her nest
The living statue
ignore the compliments
the proposition
the marriage
proposals
She is safe
and beautiful
forever
even when my friend
helps me off
my pedestal
and we go home
and I am alone
in the shower
***
and Nico was blond
and Dylan was found
in a pit he alone had descended
and there he unfurled
for the sake of the world
the bright flag so long undefended
***
I’ve had it
I’ve had it with you
and the kid
and th
e farm
and the job
and the war
and the debt
and the bullshit
I read
in the palm of my hand
and what did you do
with my god
and my church
and my car
and my dick
was I supposed
to like
living on my fucking knees?
of course I don’t
say this to anyone
especially {not to} my wife
especially my kids
and not to anyone
bigger or stronger
or the boss
or the sadist in
charge of my teeth {mind}
and it all looks
so peaceful
when you’re not
hunting for pussy
or sucking up to
the lord
I advise you all to
get tired and old
and bored
cranky and bored
and then the voice
is heard
deeper than the world
you may need acid
to hear it, or weed
never did it for me
and I took (maybe)
a hundred trips at
least
***
and I sought my beloved
when I was trying to make my marriage {work}
move from islands to cities & back again
when I was trying to make my marriage work
but I could not find my beloved
And you made me use words
like husband and wife
to cross a border to cash a cheque
words that armed my solitude
against my daily life
you wrote your poems
without the recognition
without the prize of women
without the sting of fame
not even for the name of poet
did you labour on the empty page
and just the news of you
silenced many a juke-box
I declared my high intention to be free
I cut myself shaving
***
go tell your brother
the family is no more
go tell your baby sister
she’s nothing but a whore
go tell the Angels of the Lord
there is no God above
go tell your heart of longing
that there’s no such thing as love
I told my brother
what I heard
& he began to weep
I told my sister, she said Hush
the baby is asleep
I told the angels of the lord
they covered {blinded} me with light
I told my heart, my heart did say
Be still with me tonight
O man of flesh, my heart did say
as I went through the night
prepare yourself for sorrow
& prepare for sweet delight
There came a tide of suffering
which I could barely stand
you must sacrifice your sorrow
on the altar of delight
and I went down in tears
There came a dark indifference
which seemed to last for years
There came a spring where nothing grew
There came a summer with no sun
There was no crystal in the snow
No harvesting for anyone
There was no crystal in the snow
No fragrance in the spring
No summer with its naked dance
No autumn harvesting
I tried to cry, {my eyes were sealed} there were no tears
I tried to laugh, there was no scorn
I tried to run, there was no road
I tried to die, I was not born
I pinned across a piece of meat
hanging in the abattoir
I struggled for a woman’s touch
I pinned across a piece of meat
& feeding on a {barren} star
I struggled for a woman’s touch
for solace {comfort something} in the abattoir
The boredom of her {our} company
The sting trance of her {our} embrace
whiled away the outlines
hanging face to face
O let it end, O solace me
now
let me surrender now
O make it clear what you forbid
and what you allow
The boredom of our company
The trance of our embrace
These were the very hooks
that held us
hanging face to face
And many times I begged my heart
let me surrender now
I’ll put aside what you forbid
I’ll take to me what you allow
And then the laughter in the air
you cannot yield, there is no war
you cannot lose, there is no game
Now lest I be the juda’s lamb
& lead you to the knife
This is not a parable
It’s but a human life
The man who tells this story
he is sitting on a bed chair
wondering where to go and how
to get from here to there
He says this as a caveat
to the {blind} ears of youth
that there is the stink of beauty
above {the} corpse of truth
But now the night is ending
for one listening to his heart
for this listener of the heart
The baby’s crying for {singing in the [?]} crib
The lovers break apart
My sister heats {a} bottle
& my brother starts the car
The Angels dress as humans
to be with us where we are
The baby’s singing in the crib
The lovers break apart
But only music has the power
so put your head upon the stories
I’ve grown old
in a hundred ways
but my heart is young
& still it plays
on the theme of love
on the theme of death
o close it plays
as my very breath
they rise & fall
with my very breath
my son goes back
and forth on a swing
and then he wears
a wedding ring
he works a mighty
task and then
my son is one
with me again
In a mother’s womb
my daughter stirs
and then the moving
child is hers
and then heroic
duties call
and the deepest
womb of all
and many a bitter
night went by
that death would win
& love would try
and many a bitter
night goes by
that death must win
and love must try
sweet
and my darling removes {unlocks}
the clasp of her hair
and many the blessings
of sweet repair
till she
{my darling} unfastens
the clasp of her hair
and many the blessings
of sweet repair
till she unpins
her [wigs?] black hair
***
Now I am not your father
but since your father’s dead
I’ll tell the bedtime story
before you go to bed
So come and gather round me
but do not sit too near
The closer that you sit to me
The less that you will hear
Among my stories there is one
you’ve never heard before
though all I’ve said goes round it
like the apple round its core
It is the story of a love
I had for one of you
when you were neither seed nor child
and I was nothing too
Forbidden to be spoken by me
or anyone
but now the seal is broken
and the story has begun
And who forbid the telling
is a question you may pose
It was he who hated nakedness
and made us all wear clothes
***
They are far ahead of me
the true writers
with whom I once paced myself
tarrying with women and riches
and problems of the Way
I fell behind
losing all but the original uneasiness
This is my fourth day
without cigarettes or coffee
my eye on Shakyamuni and St. Francis
as it was once
on Flaubert and William Butler Yeats
and I still have this ugly feeling
that I will reform the world
***
I know you don’t believe me
& that’s why you have to split
you’re looking for a peaceful place
& this ain’t exactly it
So I’ll drive you to the station
& I’ll put you on the train
There’s one that sinks in the ocean
& there’s one that stops in Maine
I used to travel like a fool
when I was middle-aged
but then I settled down with you
when settling was the rage
I’m glad you left that photograph
of you & me at Harvard
you didn’t really leave it but
I fished it from the garbage
***
August 1985
They took me to the Holy Land
and up to the Wall of Sorrow
I said, these stones are made of sand
and they won’t be here tomorrow
They {took me} to Mount Everest
and they pointed to the summit
I said I am impressed
but it’s just another limit
***
I saw you on the dance floor
Showing everybody how
you’d gone beyond your sorrow
No one could hurt you now
love’s only good
when you come back from the war
love’s only good
when you’re back from the war
I’m a slave to the truth
though it’s not what I planned
all through the night
there were cries of every creature
and they cried
o they cried
only the moon
with its vaguely human features
could arise
above its crying
of the night
if I could speak
if the time would only
if I could cry
I would cry myself a river
and I’d sail, I’d go sailing
through the night
***
make it easy baby
can’t pass another test
just spread your blanket on the sand
where both of us can rest
The Flame Page 13
