“No. Marma manipulation is an art form and it takes time to master. This will not be easy, Sasha. I’m going to have to kill you. Many times. And recovery will take time, given your age.”
“I hear a ‘but’ coming.”
“But when it is over, your training will be nearly complete.”
“I thought this was it. Once verumkai is done, we’re out of here.”
“Once this is behind us, you will be even more profoundly altered than you are now. You will need time before you can return to your old life. Before either of us can go back to the real world. The final stage of kalaripayattu will be a time of healing. A way of coming to terms with who you are now. Our training is brutal and it can break something inside of you. Before the mother will release you, she needs to know you are healing up here.” He brushed his palm across her temple.
“So after you all have made me kill my family, kill myself and pushed me so hard I no longer recognize myself, you want to put me back together again?”
“It is the only way you will come full circle.”
“I know, but it’s absurd. Tear me down to the studs only to build me back up again.”
“Absurd? This is a chance to truly see yourself for who you are. You came to terms with that during ankathari. You have the chance to walk out of here a stronger, much more capable version of the lost, mouthy little girl who arrived here all those months ago. Don’t be like me, angel. Don’t waste this opportunity by not learning anything. I would hate to see you miss the true point.”
~~~
Jayesh did his best to teach her slowly, letting Sasha experience several new marmas each day. They always began with something mild, like a momentary loss of hearing, followed by something more painful that usually involved some sort of muscle spasm. He could touch her wrist and give her seizure-like convulsions. To give her a break from anything painful, Jay would desensitize her by activating the apastambha point just below her breastbone. The respite was brief, but it helped her through the worst moments.
The first time he killed her, she didn’t even see it coming. He explained how the amsa would affect her brain. The next thing she knew, it was nine days later when she awoke in her dormitory, experiencing for the first time in her life what a hangover must feel like to a mortal after a week-long bender.
Her verumkai training resumed immediately when Jayesh showed her the phana point to alleviate the throbbing of her head.
She’d experienced death several times since then, but it never got easier.
Sasha reluctantly made her way along the well-worn path to the northwest pavilion. She trusted Jayesh to keep them moving forward, but each day got a little worse than the day before.
“Lay down,” Jayesh said when she joined him in the gardens. “This one will be difficult, so let’s get it out of the way first.”
Panic rose in her throat. “Will it kill me?” The first time she died, it was instant. But with other marmas, she had suffered painful deaths that were more terrifying than anything she’d ever experienced. It gave her so much respect for mortals who approached their deathbeds with grace and dignity. For them, death was a part of life. For her, death was an anomaly and rarely final. Even knowing she would come back, the intensity of death affected her more each time.
“It shouldn’t.” Jayesh looked her in the eye. “This will give you a violent seizure, but if I can release the pressure in time, it will not kill you and we can move on after you have recovered from the shock.”
Sasha settled back into the grass, gazing up at the sun high in the sky. They could practice anywhere, but they both preferred the gardens and the privacy it afforded them.
“Ready?” Jay peered down at her, his forehead furrowed in concentration and worry.
“Yes,” she said, reaching up to smooth his brow. “I’ll be fine.”
“I know you will. You’ve taken this like a champ.”
“When we get out of this place, you owe me a trip to Hawaii and about a month’s worth of fruity drinks with pink umbrellas and a few roasted pigs.”
“It’s a deal.” He smiled down at her. “Ready?”
“Let’s do it.”
“Close your eyes and follow the movement of my fingers along your skull. Here is the simantakas.” He pressed against her forehead and along her hairline. “This one can affect your reality and your sanity as well as the blood supply to your brain. Here.” His fingertips moved through her hair, sliding along the seams of her skull to the peak of her head. “This is the adipati. It affects the functions of the mind, the nervous system and, when under pressure, can cause an epileptic seizure.”
His hands in her hair felt nice. After all the time they’d spent together, they shared a level of comfort and intimacy now. Sasha caught herself wondering what it might be like to have his hands on her when he wasn’t teaching her about pressure points.
It’s not fair to Quinn. She shouldn’t be thinking about someone else. She owed him more loyalty than that. Especially after the way she’d left things with him.
But Sasha wasn’t the same girl that had entered the Chola Valley more than two years ago. Two years for me. She couldn’t fathom going back to her old life, picking it up like nothing had changed.
“Deep breaths. Let’s try to get through this without further injury. Bite on this.” Jay placed a strip of leather between her teeth as he pressed a knee to each of her shoulders to hold her steady.
With his palm gently at the nape of her neck, he struck the top of her head with the point of his knuckle.
Sasha exhaled. She’d expected it to hit her immediately. Confusion clouded her mind.
“What’s going on?” she muttered around the leather strap in her mouth. “What’s that awful smell?” It was like gasoline. She tried to sit up, but her arms twitched and her fingers curled against her chest as she convulsed.
The seizure hit her hard as her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she foamed at the mouth, her back arching and her feet jerking.
Jayesh rolled her onto her side, holding her steady and giving her a moment to experience the effects of the adipati marma.
What an awful way to die. She shrank away from her body, retreating to the safety of her mind, the pain growing distant and dim.
The sharp crack along the top of her head brought everything back into sharp relief. Her body trembled and jerked, every joint and muscle a tightened coil of tension.
“That’s it, Sasha. Breathe.” Jay’s voice sounded like a warm haven of life, pulling her back from the darkness of death. “You did it.” He smiled as he pried the leather from her teeth and rolled her back onto the grass. “Just breathe.”
“I don’t like dying,” she murmured as a tear slid down her cheek. She turned away from Jayesh and curled up in a ball of misery.
“I know, angel. It’s almost over.” His gentle hand at the small of her back brought a surprising comfort.
~~~
“Feel the separation of the tendons?” Jayesh asked as Sasha ran her thumb down the back of his neck.
“Here?” she asked, settling on the small depression where his back muscles met his neck.
I could run my fingers across his body all day long.
“Yes. And what is it called?”
“Hmmm?”
“Focus, Sasha. What is this marma called?”
“Oh, right. Sirmatrika. It can affect the blood circulation from your heart to your brain and other organs.”
“You’ve experienced the death associated with too little blood reaching your vital organs. Now it’s your turn in the driver’s seat. Just a quick stab of pressure with your index fingers should do it.”
Sasha explored the length of his neck, settling her index fingers over the sensitive spot.
It confused her. How comfortable she was with him now. How familiar she was with his body after all their hours of training together. The last time she’d experienced such intimacy with another person, it was with Quinn.
&nb
sp; I feel so guilty. Like I’ve betrayed him.
“Any time now, angel.” His voice held a teasing tone that did pleasant things to her.
“I don’t think I can do it, Jayesh,” she whispered. She’d killed him once before. An accident when she wasn’t able to restore the function of his lungs quickly enough. To do it on purpose.… She didn’t think she had it in her.
“I’ll be back with you by dinnertime.” He reached for her hand over his shoulder. “Don’t overthink it.”
“It’s just so … mean.”
“Think of it as retribution for all the times I’ve killed you. Remember the day I used the guda marma and didn’t warn you that it would make you soil yourself?”
Sasha frowned at the humiliating memory and without further thought, brought her index fingers down with precision against the area where tendons met muscles. Jay’s head drooped for a moment before he slid to the ground like a dead weight.
Only thirty-six left.
~~~
CHAPTER
TWENTY-SEVEN
Sasha: Summer
The Chola Valley
“How many yards was that?” Sasha asked.
The monks were all lounging in the shade of their canopy, murmuring about Sasha’s last shot with the sniper rifle she was finally getting to shoot just for fun.
With all three stages of kalaripayattu behind her, she had earned her title as an official Chola assassin, master of kalari, and was now enjoying her post-training reprieve. There was still a darkness inside her. She didn’t think it would ever go away, but with each passing day, she was feeling a little more like herself. Maybe not her old self. That girl was dead. But she was figuring out who the new Sasha was and coming to terms with her.
“Over three thousand yards,” Jayesh said, lowering his binoculars. “That’s nearly two miles, Sasha.” He beamed down at her. His eyes were clear and there was a lightness about him he hadn’t had when they first arrived. She never asked what the mother wanted to teach him during his time in the valley, but whatever it was, he seemed to have learned his lesson too.
“The bullet went right through the steel plate and blew the ballistic gel to bits.” He lay back down beside her on the mat.
“Armor-piercing rounds, baby.” Sasha sighted down the scope to see the evidence of her last shot. “You know, if the Senate ever needs you to shoot up a steel plate at three thousand yards, I’m your girl.”
“You know it’s not going to be a practice target on the other end of that scope when this is real?” Jayesh said softly.
“I know.” Sasha moved to trade places with him. “If I’m shooting magnetized ammo, I’ll be okay. But real life-ending bullets are going to be a problem for me, Jay.”
“I know, angel. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”
She knew he would do his best to keep that inevitable future from coming too soon, but ultimately it wouldn’t be his choice when and where the Senate would call Sasha into active duty. She could only hope that when they did call on her, he would be the one leading her team.
“Take a selfie with me?” She rolled over and faced the camera toward them.
Jayesh leaned in close so they could both fit in the frame. “Where did you find a camera?” He wrapped his arm around her.
“It’s Imogen’s. She thought I might want to get a few mementos of my time here. Big smiles!” She grinned and snapped the photo.
“Seriously, it’s my turn, Sasha.” Jayesh pulled her away from the gun. “Stop hogging it.”
Sasha watched him as he adjusted the scope and took his sweet time lining up the shot before he pulled the trigger. Her feelings for Jayesh were all twisted up with her feelings for the Chola temple, the mother, the Senate and her time away from her family. She cared a great deal for this man and counted him a lifelong friend. And if she were honest, she had more than just a little crush on him. He is way too old, she reminded herself.
“You’re talking to me with those eyes again.” He smiled.
“You’re a terrible shot. Don’t quit your day job.” She gave him a playful shove.
“What? That was a clean hit. Did you see the way the bullet sailed right through the ballistics gel?”
“It’s more fun when you blow it to smithereens.”
“Flashy maybe, but a clean shot takes more precision.”
“Good thing you’re here to teach me,” she said.
“I’m too old for you, Sasha.”
“Agreed.” She peered down over the cliff side where they’d perched the Barrett M107A1. “But I won’t always be seventeen. And the two-hundred-seventy years between us won’t always feel like it does now.”
“Call me in two hundred years and it’s a date,” Jay said, lining up his next shot.
“It’s a date.” It felt odd, thinking of being with someone other than Quinn. She still couldn’t wait for the day when she would see him again. And when she did, she hoped he would understand that she didn’t think she could go back to the way they were before. She wasn’t that girl anymore and she doubted very much if he was that same boy. “Promise me, Jayesh,” Sasha said softly. “Promise me you won’t wait that long to see me again?”
“You know we have to leave, Sasha,” he said gently. “It’s time.”
“No. Not yet.” She stared up at him.
A year ago, she would have given anything to leave the Chola Valley and never look back. But in the months since her training ended, she’d experienced some of the happiest times of her life here. Nearly three years had passed for Sasha during her time at the temple. It frightened her to think of returning to her old life, knowing for the rest of her family, it had only been six weeks. How can I go back? How can I leave him?
“I’m not ready.” She shook her head stubbornly. “Imogen’s not ready. She is still training with the mother.”
“I don’t want to leave either, angel. That’s why I know it’s time to go. Imogen needs to stay, but you need to leave.”
“Come home with me? Just for a little while?”
“I can’t. I have a job waiting for me.”
“Africa.” She nodded. His entire team was waiting for him to return so they could complete an important mission.
“When will I see you again?” Her chest ached at the answer she knew he would give.
“Hopefully never. I’ll miss you, but I don’t want you to have the life I’ve had.”
She nodded, staring at her hands.
“I owe you some long overdue truth,” Jayesh said. “I know I can trust you to never repeat this. To anyone.”
“You have my word.”
“While I do work for the Senate from time to time, they are not my true employer. I can’t tell you much, so you’re going to have to trust me. But I have orders to bring you in when this is done.”
“Bring me in where?” Sasha took a hesitant breath.
“I can’t tell you.”
“Then why are you telling me anything?”
“It will be a cold day in hell before I betray you like that. I tried really hard to keep you at arm’s length. But I can’t do it. I won’t do it. We have to get you home safely but I’m not sure how.”
Sasha nodded. “Your team will be waiting for us the moment we walk out of this valley?”
“They have orders to take you on sight.”
“What if we had help?” Sasha smiled. “You don’t really think my mother would let us leave without someone to watch our backs?”
“Of course.” Jay returned her smile. “She had you followed?”
“My uncle.”
Jayesh stood and walked along the edge of the cliff, taking in the lay of the land in each direction. “We could leave the valley the hard way.” He pointed to the hiking trails to the north. “But how would we find him?”
“He’ll find us.”
“How?”
“If I told you, I’d have to kill you,” she said sweetly.
“We need weapons, just in case we run
into my team. They’ll know when we’ve left the valley and when they realize I’m avoiding them, they’ll circle around and come for us.”
“How will they know?”
“If I told you, I’d have to kill you.” Jayesh shot her a grin.
“Imogen and I brought weapons with us.”
“Of course you did. I would expect nothing less of the women of your family. You don’t have any more sisters, do you? I’m officially boycotting the El Sadawii women; they are too much trouble.”
“I’m the last one, but watch out for the Carmichael girl. She’s got that El Sadawii spunk too.” Sasha smiled at the thought that she might be seeing Allie soon. “When should we leave?” she asked. She wasn’t ready, but if his team was lying in wait for her, she needed to get out of here.
“Tomorrow night.”
“Will Imogen be safe when it’s time for her to leave?”
“Once they realize I’ve left, they’ll come for me. I’ll lead them away from Imogen.”
Sasha frowned. “You’re going to be punished for helping me escape, aren’t you?”
“No. The official story will be that you grew suspicious of me and left the valley on your own. When I realized what you’d done, I followed but was too late. They’ll buy it.”
But she didn’t buy it. He was lying. If he let her escape, he would be punished … and Sasha wasn’t going to let that happen.
~~~
CHAPTER
TWENTY-EIGHT
Quinn: Fall
The Dreamworld
“What are you saying, James?” Santi paced along the forest path under the canopy of ancient redwoods where Quinn had experienced his first lessons with Navid only a few weeks ago.
In the waking world, he and Santi were back in Livia’s penthouse, recovering from their respective punishments. They spent their days training and their nights in the dreamworld.
And now he’d pulled James into his dreamscape too.
“You knew it was coming eventually.” James shrugged. “It’s not like there’s anything I can do about it. Lennox has a few weeks left at Soma, at most. And hopefully her new owners will treat her well, considering what she is.”
Emerge: The Captive: (Book 3) Page 24
