At least he wasn’t acting anymore. She could feel the emotions churning inside him, fighting to break free. Why was he so afraid to let himself feel?
“I have to shut my emotions off when he’s around.” He spoke quietly, a great sadness in his words. He stared at something behind her head. “I have to go into a robotic mode when I fight. It’s the only way I can do it. But when I’m around you, you bring out my emotions. You make me feel.” He looked into her eyes. “If I’m going to do this fight, I have to shut my emotions off. I can’t let myself feel. I can’t have you here. Do you understand? Please, Emily. You have to go.”
She wiped at a tear. “I’m not leaving you. I can’t.”
He groaned and stepped away from her. “You have to. Please.”
His eyes were filled with such torture it was all she could do to not look away. “I can’t,” she repeated, holding his gaze. “I won’t abandon you. I love you.”
He squeezed his eyes shut and spun away from her. “Don’t say that. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Was he afraid of her love? Why? Did he not care for her the way she thought he did?
Emily swallowed hard. “It’s true, Sebastian. You broke through my walls, taught me how to trust again. You restored my faith in humanity. You’re such a good person. If only you could see how much…”
He breathed heavily several times, as if he was trying to forcefully push something out of him. He slowly turned back to her.
Torment swam in his eyes, scrunched up his features. “That’s why you have to go. You make me weak when I need to be strong.”
That pissed her off. “Are you saying love is weak? Love is the strongest emotion a person can feel. It’s not weakness. It’s strength.”
They stared at each other. Neither moved.
Then he forced his features into an inscrutable mask. He’d gone back into acting mood.
She was fighting a lost battle. She couldn’t force Sebastian to love her if he didn’t. She couldn’t force him to tell her things he didn’t want to share. Maybe he really was a lost cause.
Maybe she should just buy a plane ticket and go home.
No. I can’t give up on him. He needs me. He has no one else.
“Please, Sebastian.” She tried one more time. “Please talk to me. I want to help. Please.”
She wrapped her arms around his waist and held on tight. She had to break through to him somehow. Someway.
His body tensed against her. He sucked in a breath, hissed it out.
Then he relaxed into her. His arms came around her. He squeezed her against him, his breath hot against her neck.
“Emily.” He groaned softly. “Why won’t you just give up on me?”
He kissed her with so much desperation, so much emotion that she felt him struggling to deny. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer, pressing into him, kissing him back, pouring all her emotions into the kiss.
“Because I love you,” she whispered against his lips. “Please, let me help you.”
He kissed her again, his tongue delving deep, as if he was reaching for her soul. Their tongues met, danced, swirled. Again and again.
He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her harder, deeper.
He tore his mouth from hers, his breath coming in little pants, and stared down at her. Then he scooped her up and carried her the few feet to the bed.
They were almost frantic as they removed their clothes, their mouths meeting again, hands seeking, touching, stroking, arousing.
They fell onto the bed together, their lovemaking fast and frenzied. Almost desperate.
It was over almost as quickly as it started.
Sebastian rolled away and sat up. He kept his gaze averted as he bent and reached for his discarded shorts. He was pushing her away again. Distancing himself from her, shutting his emotions off.
He had to stop doing that.
Emily jerked upright. She slid off the bed and intercepted him as he headed for the door.
His eyes flashed with annoyance. And then…fear.
Emily held her ground. “I want you to tell me the truth, Sebastian. Right now. No more secrets.”
He heaved out a sigh, lowered his gaze.
She touched his hand. “I know who your father is. I know he’s a criminal. I checked him out. But what I don’t understand is why he’s making you fight. Or why you’re letting him control you. Stand up to him, Sebastian! Fight back!”
He reared back, his nostrils flaring. His eyes darkened with pure torment.
“I can’t fucking fight back! He has my son!”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
“What?” Emily stumbled back, her eyes wide with shock. “You have a son? Oh my God. Now everything makes sense.”
Sebastian groaned and turned away from her. She couldn’t understand the torment he was going through. He hadn’t even known he had a son until two years ago. He always used condoms. Always. Except for that one time. He’d been a troubled teenager back then, seeking comfort after the horror of what he’d done to that boy in the fight, and Margie had been there for him.
Travis had found out about Sebastian’s son long before Sebastian had. And had been using it against him ever since.
“Tell me what happened. Tell me everything.” Emily grabbed his hands and pulled him toward her. “Please. Tell me.”
He sighed and looked down at her. Hell. Where did he start?
“How old is your son?” she probed.
He hesitated. “Twelve.”
“Twelve?” she repeated. “That means he was born when you were only…what? Nineteen?”
“Eighteen. He’ll be thirteen next month.”
Questions swirled in her eyes. “Where’s his mother?”
“Dead.”
“How did she die?”
Sebastian swallowed. He looked away. “From a drug overdose.”
“When?”
“A month ago.”
Comprehension flickered across her face. “Your father killed her. Made it look like an overdose.”
He lowered his gaze. “I think so, yeah. She was a good girl. She never did drugs.”
“That’s why you went to Alabama.”
“Yes.”
She stared at him, her eyes wide. “Have you ever met your son?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
He groaned. “Because I never knew about him. And my father threatened to hurt him if I tried to contact him.” He jerked away from her, pulling his hands from her grasp. He wanted to hit something. Hard. But he had no workout equipment here. No boxing bag. No gym. He eyed the wall, contemplating.
You’ll need your hands for the fight tomorrow. Don’t be stupid. Hitting the wall would be a dumbass thing to do.
“Then how do you know he’s yours? Is there some kind of proof?”
He glared at her. “Because he looks just like me. And his mother…she and I dated back in high school. I slept with her the night before I left Alabama. It was the only time in my life I didn’t use a condom. Well, except with you.” He heaved out a sigh. “She tried to contact me, but I was gone. I changed my name. Disappeared. So she told my father she was pregnant. He helped her out. He knew he’d find me someday and he planned to use it against me. When he figured out who I was, he sent me photos of my son. I didn’t believe him at first, so he took videos. He’s mine, Emily. I have no doubt.”
“Okay,” she said slowly. “What’s your son’s name? Does he know about you?”
He took another deep breath. Now that he was talking about it, the tension started to melt away. Maybe she could help him. God, he needed Emily’s help. But what could she really do to help him?
“His name’s Cole. I don’t know if he knows about me or not. I already checked Alabama’s state records. I’m listed as the father on his birth certificate.”
Emily scrunched up her face. “Then why doesn’t anyone know about him? You’re a celebrity. I’m sure hundreds o
f reporters have dug up information on you. Why wouldn’t they discover you had a son?”
“Because his father’s name on his birth certificate is ‘Travis Wade,’ not ‘Sebastian Wolfe.’ His mother didn’t know I’d changed my name. She didn’t know who I was until years later.”
“Oh.” Emily grew silent for a moment, contemplating. “So you have a twelve-year-old son named Cole that you didn’t know anything about until your father contacted you, correct?”
Sebastian sighed. “Yes. He started sending me letters about three years ago saying he knew I had a secret. But he didn’t reveal what that secret was until about two years ago.”
“Oh,” she said again. “What a jerk.”
Sebastian let out snort. That was an understatement.
“So Cole’s mother died a month ago, supposedly of a drug overdose,” Emily went on. “Your father has your son hidden somewhere and is using him against you to make you fight. Is that correct?”
He sighed. “More or less, yeah.”
“Why? I don’t understand. Why does he want you to fight? Can’t someone else fight? No offense, but certainly there are other fighters who are better than you. What’s so special about you?”
Sebastian lowered his gaze. “Because he taught me how to fight, almost from birth. He trained me. He beat the emotion out of me at a young age, molded me into the perfect fighting machine. He feels he has a certain investment in me. He considers me his property. When I ran away, I can imagine how furious he was. I left a few days before I was supposed to be in another fight. He spent years sulking, planning, trying to find me and get me back. So he could make me obey.”
Emily’s shocked gaze bounced back to his. “So it really is a control issue.”
She got it. She was a smart girl. It had only taken her a few minutes to figure it out, while it had taken Sebastian years to find out what his father truly wanted from him.
“Yes. He likes to control me. He gets a certain perverted pleasure out of seeing me on my knees, groveling, doing whatever he wants me to.”
It shamed him to admit he was being controlled by his cruel, heartless father. It shamed him that he was even related to such a monster. But there was nothing he could do about it. And what choice did he have but to go along with whatever his father wanted? He couldn’t risk Cole’s life. Especially now that the private investigator was dead. Sebastian had no idea where Travis was keeping Cole.
Emily stepped closer, her gaze locking on his. She grabbed his hands, squeezed them reassuringly.
“Then we’ve got to find Cole. We’ve got to get him away from your father.”
* * *
“Sebastian has a son. His name is Cole. Travis is holding the boy hostage in order to make Sebastian do what he wants.”
Emily glanced toward the bathroom. The water was still running. After Sebastian told her about Cole, he’d gotten in the shower. She didn’t want him to know she’d contacted Craig. She had a feeling Sebastian wouldn’t like it.
“No shit?” Craig let out a loud sigh over the phone. “Even I didn’t know that one. How did he manage to keep the kid a secret?”
“Cole’s birth certificate lists Travis Wade as his father, not Sebastian Wolfe. The kid’s mother didn’t know Sebastian had changed his name.”
“I’ll look into it as soon as I get off the phone. We’ll find that boy, Emily. We’ll get him to a safe place.” He paused. “Does Sebastian know you contacted me?”
“No. He’s in the shower so I can’t talk long. You know he’s the type of person who doesn’t like to ask for help. I think he’d be pissed if he found out I told you. Please don’t tell him.”
There was a silence over the line, then Craig said, “How is he, anyway? Is he doing all right?”
“He’s…hanging in there. But I’m worried about him.”
The water turned off in the bathroom.
“I have to go,” Emily said quickly. “I’ll text you the address where the fight is going to be tomorrow. Just promise me you won’t arrest Sebastian. Please.”
Craig sighed. “I can’t promise anything, Emily. But I’ll do what I can. I’ll wait for your text.”
Emily disconnected the call. She snatched up her own cellphone and quickly entered Craig’s number into it. She didn’t know when she’d get another opportunity to use Sebastian’s phone, so it would be best if she had Craig’s number in her own phone so she could contact Craig whenever she needed to.
Then she quickly scrolled through the contacts on Sebastian’s phone. There was one more person she needed to call. It wasn’t something she was looking forward to doing. But if she was going to help Sebastian, it was something she would have to do.
She found the number she needed, quickly entered it into her own phone.
The bathroom door swung open. Sebastian stepped out, steam billowing around him. His gaze narrowed on her. “You should be in bed, Emily. It’s almost two o’clock in the morning.”
“I couldn’t sleep if I tried,” she admitted. She set her phone back on the nightstand. “I’m too worried about you and the fight tomorrow.”
“I’ll be fine. It’s not like I’ve never done this before.”
“I know. But I’m still worried.”
He came toward her, a towel wrapped around his waist. “You’re not going to the fight. I won’t let you. So don’t even think about trying to. I can’t have you there if I’m going to be able to concentrate. You’ll distract me.”
She was going to the fight, damn him. He just didn’t know it. If something went wrong, she planned to be there to help him. She needed a way into the fight. That’s why she had another call to make. She just needed a few minutes when Sebastian wasn’t around so she could place the call. When the FBI showed up tomorrow night, she planned to be there so she could help Sebastian get away before they arrested him. She couldn’t let him be punished when he was only doing it to protect his son.
A son he hadn’t even met.
How could Sebastian not think he was a good person when he was sacrificing himself for a boy he’d never even met? What if Sebastian was seriously injured—or even killed—in tomorrow’s fight?
Her stomach knotted. She wouldn’t be able to relax until the fight was over and Sebastian was safe.
And the FBI had rescued Cole.
She would have to tell Sebastian what she’d done. That she’d called Craig and told him everything.
Eventually.
But not right now.
Later. After everyone was safe, she would come clean and admit she was the one who’d leaked the information.
Would her betrayal be too much for Sebastian to forgive her?
* * *
Despite his best efforts, Sebastian couldn’t convince Emily to leave. They’d argued about it, then he’d finally given up and gone for a walk along the beach, needing to get away from her, needing to get his mind on the upcoming fight. He couldn’t seem to shut his emotions off when he was around her. She made him feel more than he’d ever felt in his entire life and it was scary. How could he concentrate on the fight when he was worried about her?
She’d said she loved him.
Could it be true? Was he even loveable?
He wanted to believe her. So much. But he was skeptical, his own insecurities reminding him of the horrible things he’d done, reminding him he wasn’t loveable. That he didn’t deserve her love.
But he desperately wanted to believe her.
“Sebastian?”
He jerked away from the mirror where he’d been adjusting the mask. Emily came up behind him. She was wearing a pink and white, sleeveless sundress with white sandals. She looked sexy and feminine and he wanted to bundle her up and take her far away from here.
Wait a second? Why was she dressed up?
Before he could ask, she wrapped her arms around his waist. Squeezed.
“Be careful, please. I’m worried.”
He sighed and turned her into his arms, breathing in her uniqu
e, alluring scent. He tightened his arms around her. “I’m always careful. Don’t worry about me.”
The fight started in two hours. Travis would be showing up soon to pick Sebastian up.
But damn Emily, she wouldn’t leave. She’d handed his credit card back to him for the fifth time just moments ago and told him she didn’t want it. That she was staying. For him.
He didn’t understand her loyalty. He’d done nothing to deserve it. He kept pushing her away, begging her to leave, but she stubbornly refused to go. If he survived this fight and managed to free Cole, he’d take them both far away, somewhere up north, where no one would ever find them. They could hide from his father in the mountains somewhere. Just the three of them.
She stepped back and smiled up at him. “You look different with the shaved head and the mask. No one will recognize you.”
“That’s the plan. I don’t want anyone to know who I am. Can you imagine the backlash I would get if the world discovered I was involved in illegal fighting? I have no desire to go back to prison.”
She brushed a finger over his cheek just beneath the mask. “Then be careful. I don’t want you to go back to prison.” Something flashed in her eyes before she looked away. Guilt?
Suspicion clawed at him. What was she up to?
The doorbell rang.
Travis was here. Shit.
It was time to go.
“Stay here, Emily. I’ll be back after the fight.”
She followed him down the hallway, ignoring his order to stay in his room.
Sebastian tried not to be irritated, but dammit, her stubbornness was going to get her hurt. Didn’t she understand Travis was here? That he would hurt her if given the chance?
Anger and frustration swirling inside him, Sebastian yanked open the front door. Emily was screwing everything up. How could he fight if he was worrying about her?
Travis entered, grinning from ear to ear. He sized Emily up, then held his arm out to her. “Ready to go, Sweet Cheeks?”
Emily brushed past Sebastian, linking her arm through Travis’s. “Yes.”
Sebastian rocked back on his heels as shock spiraled through him. What the fuck?
“Oh don’t look so put out,” Travis chided. “She wanted to see the fight and you wouldn’t let her, so I told her she could come with me.”
Scarred (Unlikely Heroes Book 5) Page 23
