Darcy knew it was a mistake within an hour of his proposal. He could see his behavior for the grief-spurred reaction it was. A sinking feeling was added to his sorrow over losing Elizabeth, for he’d neatly trapped himself. That a single irrational moment should lead to such an extraordinary alteration in his life seemed hardly fair for one who prided himself on a demeanor of reason and contemplation.
Yet, he was honor bound to stand by his word, especially once he gave Anne permission to tell Lady Catherine. It wouldn’t be too bad. Anne would be an undemanding wife. She was always quiet, nearly invisible. Such a contrast, he thought, to Elizabeth. Angrily, Darcy pushed such comparisons from his mind.
With his cousin Fitzwilliam safely attending to his military duties, there was no one to check Darcy’s headlong lunge into married life, nor shame him by observing it. Within a week of his proposal, Darcy welcomed Anne and Lady Catherine to Darcy House. After two days of dealing with legal documents, Anne Catherine de Bourgh and Fitzwilliam George Darcy were married in a private ceremony. Darcy tried to smile at her as they signed the papers, but his face felt nearly as numb as his heart.
As if to prove the reassurances he gave himself, Anne asked for only one thing. She wanted to bring several servants and a few pieces of furniture from Rosings, a reasonable request. His whole marriage, possibly the rest of his life, would be this way, he realized. Quiet, reasonable and numb. That was what life without Elizabeth was.
The wedding night brought new torments to Darcy. In his mind, though he desperately tried not to, he couldn’t help but picture Elizabeth. Worse still, Anne did nothing to distract from visions of her. Anne tolerated him, but obviously took no pleasure in consummating their union. She seemed uninterested in enjoying their time together. She didn’t reject him, nor hint at a rejection, but she showed no signs of pleasure.
Darcy knew he was hardly the first man to find his wife was passionless, but he had no intention of enjoying his ample opportunities to sate such appetites elsewhere. That wasn’t the Darcy way. Still, he would have been hard pressed to return to her bedside anytime soon, were the main purpose of his marriage was not to produce an heir. Yet another way, his mind whispered, that life would surely have been better with Elizabeth. If only … Darcy clenched his jaw, refusing to finish the thought. He would not dwell in departed dreams. That, too, was not the Darcy way.
Chapter 2
Elizabeth couldn’t believe she’d agreed to visit Pemberley. Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner wanted to see it, and Elizabeth couldn’t object without explaining, though she felt surely her mortification must shine from her face. Her salvation was the serving girl at the inn. She was sure that Darcy wasn’t in residence, allowing Elizabeth to agree without having to decide if declining was worth telling her aunt and uncle why she didn’t want to go.
They started the tour of the house with a very pleasant housekeeper, Mrs. Reynolds, who’d barely shown them one room when she received a message brought by a footman. Whatever it was, she apologized and the rest of the tour was taken over by the largely silent footman, who said nothing, simply escorting them around.
Not that many words were needed, for Pemberley spoke for itself. The rooms combined beauty, elegance and comfort. Elizabeth was impressed in spite of all the other magnificent houses she’d seen over the last weeks. Pemberley exceeded her expectations.
After they finished seeing those rooms permissible to the public, their conscripted tour guide turned them over to a groundskeeper. He did a better job as a guide, but only spoke of the grounds, not of the inhabitants of the house. Of course, Elizabeth sternly reminded herself, she did not care about the inhabitants of Pemberley.
She tried not to count how many times during the tour she was forced to reiterate that thought, though it became less and less necessary as the beauty of the grounds enfolded her. She felt she could hardly recall her own name, transported by natural wonders as she was, let alone her inner turmoil. Still, an image of Darcy’s face as she last saw it, when he handed her the note, refused to dissipate, tormenting her as she traversed his home.
She felt guilty for misjudging him and for refusing him so harshly. She still believed he was a rude man who thought himself above his company, but he wasn’t a bad man. She really didn’t want him to renew his addresses. Life with him would be difficult and he probably wouldn’t allow her to see her family. The honor of being the Mistress of Pemberley was not worth being the wife of Mr. Darcy.
When they finished, with Elizabeth and her relatives quite thoroughly impressed by Pemberley, they proceeded to their carriage. Before they reached it, however, another carriage swept up the tree-lined drive. Elizabeth’s breath caught in her throat when Mr. Darcy alighted, looking in every way as dashing as she recalled. It was all she could do to keep putting one foot before the other as she trailed her aunt and uncle. What would Mr. Darcy think, finding her in his home? Would he think she was pursuing him?
After reading his letter, handed to her over three months ago, it didn’t take her long to acquit him of guilt in his dealings with Wickham, and she accepted that he behaved reasonably in his separating Bingley from her sister. Where once her uncensored abrading of him had filled her with something approaching pride, she now felt renewed shame over her behavior. She ducked her head, focusing her gaze on the stones of the drive. Maybe he wouldn’t see her.
In the edge of her vision, she could see he was helping someone from the carriage and she found herself looking up, curious as to whom. Elizabeth realized it must be Georgiana Darcy, from her resemblance to her brother. In spite of her foreknowledge, she was surprised at how very young and innocent the girl looked, bolstering her dislike of Wickham.
As neither brother nor sister seemed aware anyone approached, Elizabeth kept her gaze raised, intrigued when the normally unsociable Mr. Darcy reached back inside the coach, another delicate gloved hand clasping his. To Elizabeth’s surprise, the next occupant Darcy helped out was Anne de Bourgh. Where neither Darcy nor his sister looked at her, Miss de Bourgh’s gaze fell on her immediately and she said, “Good morning, Miss Bennet.”
Having no choice, Elizabeth altered her course toward them, fixedly refusing to let herself take in Mr. Darcy’s face. Approaching Anne, she curtsied. “Good morning, Miss de Bourgh. We didn’t mean to intrude. We were just leaving,” she said, hoping her tone was unrevealing. She was fully unprepared for the feelings that churned in her at being so near Mr. Darcy. They were of such a nearly violent cast, she was uncertain, even, of their nature.
“Oh, but you can’t leave,” Anne de Bourgh said, more effusive than Elizabeth remembered. “Please, come inside and take some refreshment. I was so delighted to know you at Rosings. Please introduce me to your friends, as well. And I am not Miss de Bourgh anymore, I’m Mrs. Darcy.”
Elizabeth was so startled by this news that she couldn’t protest. Mechanically, she performed the introductions. Anne Darcy said more in a few seconds of their meeting than she’d said in six weeks at Rosings, and of such import! Dazed by the news, Elizabeth couldn’t help being overcome by Mrs. Darcy’s insistence that they stay.
A few minutes later, they found themselves in a pleasant room with a view of the woods. It hadn’t been part of the tour, and Elizabeth could see why. If she had such a perfect room as her own, she wouldn’t want to share it with strangers either. She let her eyes stay on to the view, taking in the deep cool shade offered by the sweeping boughs, wishing she could lose her person there as well. She realized her aunt and uncle were making polite conversation, but couldn’t bring herself to join in.
“Would you care to play, Miss Bennet?” Georgiana’s tentative voice broke into the numbing haze that seemed to have enveloped Elizabeth. The girl cast a look at her brother, as if seeking support. “Only, my brother and Mrs. Darcy both speak so highly of your playing. I should love to hear it.”
“Yes, of course,” Elizabeth said, fighting the urge to look to Darcy herself, for confirmation of the compliment. A new emotion sur
ged in her, one she could readily identify. How dare he be married so soon after declaring his love for her? Did Anne Darcy know he’d proposed to her? Elizabeth stood, her posture ridged, and gestured for Georgiana to precede her.
Elizabeth was pleased the pianoforte was in an adjoining room, not so close to Darcy. Georgiana sorted through several sheets, reading the titles, until she found music Elizabeth was familiar with. Elizabeth settled onto the bench, forcing herself to focus on the notes. She didn’t want to think about the unexpected marriage of Mr. Darcy to Anne de Bourgh, so she lost herself in the music.
When she finished, she decided to play the piece again, apologizing to Georgiana for being out of practice. Soon enough, her second rendition was complete. It seemed even playing the piece twice couldn’t keep her from the Darcy’s. Georgiana’s complements filling her ears, she left the instrument and returned to the others, politely thanking Miss Darcy.
When she reentered the sitting room, her uncle was asking Mr. Darcy about fishing, a topic that occupied the two men for several minutes. Mr. Darcy invited him, with the greatest civility, to fish in his stream as often as he chose while he continued in the neighborhood, offering at the same time to supply him with fishing tackle, and pointing out those parts of the stream where there was usually the most sport.
While the men talked, the four women remained silent. Elizabeth earnestly tried to think of something to say, but her mind was full of questions too forward to ask. She gazed down at her hands, wondering why her aunt had selected this moment to be so quiet. Their lack of conversation was beginning to border on the admonishable.
“Miss Bennet,” Georgiana Darcy said, surprising Elizabeth by being the one to break the silence. “I’ve only just recollected that, while in London, my music teacher had me work on a duet. She said I should play my part every day. Would you like to help me practice?”
Elizabeth smiled, more than happy for an excuse to return to the piano. She nodded, rising, but what she truly wished to do was to thank Georgiana. It seemed wrong that the youngest among them must be the one to end such an awkward interval, but Elizabeth would take relief where it was offered.
As they played, the two women didn’t say much, and nothing that didn’t relate to the music, but Elizabeth enjoyed herself and found it preferable to being so near to Mr. and Mrs. Darcy. She wondered at the level of civility she was receiving from the man whose proposal she so harshly, and unjustly, rejected. Equally surprising was the civility of his second choice, but then, surely Anne Darcy could not know.
Darcy determined to talk politely to Elizabeth’s relatives, regardless of how crude they were. He focused himself on that resolve, keeping both mind and eyes from contemplation of Elizabeth, who seemed only to have grown lovelier since last they met. A part of him wished, as well, to show her that he had taken her words to heart, but his resolution turned out to be easy to keep. Elizabeth’s aunt and uncle were intelligent, well-informed, and pleasant. Anne, for her part, said nothing, but that was expected.
Feeling himself straying toward a comparison between Anne and Elizabeth, he launched into a discourse on the fine fishing his estate offered. As if to further tempt him, sounds of music, and even merriment, drifted from the other room as Georgiana and Elizabeth worked on the duet. Darcy fancied he could separate which notes were played by his sister, and which were struck by Miss Bennet.
When a particularly lovely strand of Elizabeth’s laughter crossed the space between them, seeming almost to brighten the very room, Darcy glanced at Anne in concern. He couldn’t fathom why she had invited Elizabeth and her relatives in. Surely, it must be awkward for Anne, having Elizabeth in their home. In fact, Elizabeth was there when they arrived, meaning she had now spent more time in Pemberley than Anne had, since their marriage.
By all regards, Anne appeared to be paying attention to the conversation at hand, showing no signs of being distracted by happenings in the adjourning room. When Mrs. Gardiner asked Anne a question, she answered promptly and appropriately. Could Anne truly be complacent with Elizabeth’s presence in their home? Darcy knew Anne was fond of Miss Bennet, but he hadn’t realized how far her regard extended.
Turning his own attention more firmly to the conversation, he decided he should follow her example. It was easier to do than he anticipated, since the Gardiners were enjoyable conversationalists. So much so, he could scarcely credit that they were of the same family as Elizabeth’s mother. After an acceptable half an hour, Mrs. Gardiner arose, saying they must be going, since their dinner was bespoken at the inn.
“Please stay for dinner at Pemberley,” Anne said, eliciting a level of surprise in Darcy that he hoped did not show on his face. “Miss Darcy is usually shy with strangers and she’s getting along so well with Miss Bennet. We can send a message to the inn.”
Both young women laughed at something in the other room. Mrs. Gardiner glanced at her husband, who nodded his acceptance. Darcy knew he couldn’t protest without being terribly rude and undercutting Anne’s new role as mistress of the house. Hearing Elizabeth and Georgiana playing in the adjoining room, he wasn’t sure he wanted to protest. It was good to have her there, in his home, acquainting herself with his sister, and Anne was right. Georgiana seemed to have taken a particular liking to Elizabeth, as Darcy always knew she would. If Anne found the situation acceptable, he decided, he did as well.
Dinner proved more trying than Darcy anticipated. It began somewhat informally, with Anne ignoring precedence by placing Elizabeth and Georgiana on either side of her. This not only left Darcy with the Gardiners, but put Elizabeth at the other end of the table, where it was difficult to keep his eyes from straying to her. Each time he realized he was looking at Elizabeth, he quickly moved his gaze to Anne. He hoped he was taken for a love-struck new husband.
He met Anne’s gaze across the length of the table, smiling at her. He owed it to his wife and his guests to be a good host. This was Anne’s first night as mistress of Pemberley, their first three months of marriage having been spent in London. Whatever his manners were elsewhere, Darcy knew at Pemberley he must attend to his guests, though the Gardiners made that attention an enjoyable duty. The three women at the opposite end of the table also seemed to get along well, with Elizabeth and Georgiana talking about music. Anne had little to say but appeared pleased.
To have guests on the first day was unusual. After the Gardiners accepted her invitation, Anne had called for Mrs. Reynolds and told her there were three more for dinner. By her unruffled demeanor, Darcy concluded that Anne assumed Mrs. Reynolds would cope. Anne was right in this, but her calm confidence in the competency of the staff surprised Darcy. It was, he reflected, in the nature of a compliment to him, which pleased him.
After dinner, Mrs. Reynolds caught his eye. Mr. Darcy excused himself, indicating that Mr. Gardiner should join the ladies. As Mr. Gardiner followed a servant to a sitting room, Mrs. Reynolds told Mr. Darcy that the footman who notified the inn that the Gardiners were at Pemberley, had returned with two letters for Miss Bennet. She hadn’t wished to interrupt dinner with them. Darcy agreed to that, but suggested she take them to Elizabeth now, knowing how she enjoyed hearing from her family.
Elizabeth took the first letter and started reading it, excusing herself from the conversation around her and turning slightly away from Georgiana, who sat beside her on a couch. At first there was a slight smile on her face, which pleased Darcy, but then she gasped, stilling the talk in the room. After quickly perusing the rest of the document, she handed the first letter to her aunt, hurriedly tearing open the second. The remaining people watched the two women read the letters. Mrs. Gardiner passed the letter to her husband, saying “Start here,” and pointing halfway down the page.
“Poor Lydia!” Elizabeth exclaimed, clutching the second letter to her chest. There were tears in her eyes. “Uncle, I simply must return home.”
“What is the matter,” Darcy asked, half rising from his chair.
“Family business,”
Mr. Gardiner said. “I’m sorry, but we have to leave immediately.”
“What can I do to help?” Darcy asked, taking in how stricken Elizabeth looked.
“Just order our carriage.” Mr. Gardiner, so far an exceedingly self-assured man, sounded nearly as rattled as Elizabeth looked.
“Of course, but by the time you pick up your belongings you won’t make much progress. We could send for them and you could stay here for the night. We are south of Lambton,” Anne said, ringing for a servant.
“We could hardly impose,” Mr. Gardiner said, shaking his head.
“It’s no imposition,” Anne said. “Pemberley has plenty of room.”
“Is there any other way we could be of service?” Darcy asked. “Is Lydia ill? I could send my London doctor.”
“It isn’t anything like that,” said Mr. Gardiner, gruffly, dropping his gaze.
Darcy could see that Elizabeth and the Gardiners didn’t wish to share the details of their news. There was a brief awkward silence, broken when a servant came into the room. Darcy looked from Mr. Gardiner to Mrs. Gardiner, wondering if they would consent to Anne’s offer of accommodations.
After a glance at her husband, Mrs. Gardiner said, “We accept with gratitude.”
Darcy ordered the servant to pick up the belongings of the Gardiners, but Mrs. Gardiner suggested it would be easier if she could go and pack. Elizabeth offered to go along and help. The round trip would bring them back at dusk, meaning that time would be saved, since it was unlikely they could make much progress that evening. Darcy, Mr. Gardiner, and Georgiana went to see the carriage off. Anne, as was her custom, didn’t venture out of doors unnecessarily.
Chapter 3
Elizabeth was grateful that practical matters kept her busy until the carriage left Lambton to return to Pemberley, since it didn’t give her time to dwell on her thoughts. Mrs. Gardiner stayed long enough to write notes to her friends in Lambton, which meant it was after sunset when they pulled up to Pemberley.
The Second Mrs. Darcy: A Pride & Prejudice Variation Novella Page 2
