Rafferty looked into Jacey’s eyes. “Yes,” he said, aware his heart hadn’t felt this full in a long time. “I will.”
JACEY WOKE to the sounds of Caitlin stirring. Sunlight was slipping in through the blinds. Stiff and achy from sleeping in one position too long, she rose on her elbows and looked at the clock. Noon! How had that happened? She had only meant to lie down for a few minutes after Caitlin’s 8:00 a.m. feeding.
Shoving the hair from her eyes, she rose and headed to the adjoining room. Caitlin was lying in her bassinet, eyes open, looking around. She had worked one arm out of her swaddling blanket and gurgled happily when she saw Jacey.
Her heart filled with love and the kind of contentment she had only dreamed of. Jacey picked her daughter up. Holding her close, she kissed the downy hair on top of her head. “Good morning, pumpkin,” she whispered.
Caitlin gurgled as Jacey set her down on the waterproof changing pad. She changed her diaper and then sat down to nurse.
Figuring she was the only one still there—the men had been planning to leave for the Christmas rodeo and barbecue just after dawn to help set up—Jacey donned a cardigan, put her feet into her fuzzy pink slippers and padded out to the ranch-house kitchen.
She’d just fastened Caitlin into her infant seat, when footsteps sounded behind her.
She turned, saw Rafferty stride in. Unlike her, from the looks of him, he had likely been up quite a while. Trying not to think how much she liked the tantalizing scent of his aftershave, she turned her gaze away. “I thought you’d be at the rodeo.”
He paused and looked down at her tenderly. “The Martin ranch can be hard to find. I’ll drive the two of you over when you are ready to go.”
“The food…?” she asked with an easy smile meant to disguise the way she felt.
“We need to have it there by 4:00 p.m., so we’ve got plenty of time.” His glance trailed over her old-fashioned white nightgown with the high collar and placket front, and the un-buttoned pink cardigan she had thrown on. Her hair was a wreck—unbrushed and fashioned into a loose, messy braid that fell over one shoulder.
“I know,” she said dryly, holding up a hand. “I look like an escapee from Little House on the Prairie.”
He tunneled his fingers through her dark brown hair. “I was going to say you look really pretty this morning. All soft…”
And vulnerable.
“…and pink-cheeked.” He tucked a hand beneath her chin and lifted her face to his.
She blushed. “That’s one way to put it,” she said, warming everywhere his gaze had touched, as well as everywhere it hadn’t.
“And here is another way,” he murmured, taking her all the way into his arms. He kissed her as if he hadn’t been up half the night, too, helping her finish the cooking. Rocking the baby when the baby needed to be rocked. Looking at her as if he wanted to do just this.
Finally, the kiss came to a halt. Rafferty drew back slowly. “As much as I’d like to continue this…first things first.” He looked over at Caitlin, who was smiling and cooing, and waving her arms at them. Rafferty chucked Caitlin on the chin, then turned back to Jacey. “Have you had breakfast?”
Jacey smothered a yawn with the back of her hand. “A bowl of cereal and some juice around five-thirty.”
He steered her weary frame into a chair at the table. “Then lunch it is.”
“You’re going to cook for me?”
“I owe you. It’s my fault you were up until 2:00 a.m. last night, finishing the cakes and making the most delicious potato salad I’ve ever tasted.” He opened up the fridge. “Grilled cheese okay with you?”
“Sounds perfect, actually.” When she was this tired, all she wanted was comfort food.
He spread four slices of sourdough bread with butter, layered slices of gourmet cheese between them, then slid two sandwiches into a skillet. While that cooked, he quartered Granny Smith apples and brought out a bunch of chilled red grapes.
“Milk for you?”
“Please.” Unable to look into his eyes any longer without thinking about kissing him again, she dropped her glance to the width of his shoulders and the hard musculature of his chest. When he turned to plate the sandwiches, her glance drifted lower, to his trim waist and sexy backside. “How many people are going to be at this rodeo?”
“Usually about two hundred.” He shot her a glance as he set her meal in front of her. “You’ll have fun. There’s music and dancing when the sun goes down, around five.”
It sounded lively. “What do people usually wear?”
“Denim. Boots. Hats. The men come in jeans, the ladies usually wear skirts, unless they are competing in the rodeo.”
Jacey frowned. Since she’d been on call 24-7 at her previous job, as property manager, most of her wardrobe was city-chic business casual. Worse, she’d only brought a small amount of clothing with her—the rest was still in storage in San Antonio. And she still couldn’t quite get into the lone pair of prepregnancy jeans she had brought with her.
“I’m going to have to improvise,” she murmured at last, sinking her teeth into the buttery, golden-brown crust and melted cheese. “I don’t suppose you have a bandanna I could borrow…?”
RAFFERTY KNEW WOMEN could be particular about their appearance, but this was getting ridiculous.
Cradling Caitlin—who was dressed to the nines herself in a red velvet infant outfit and matching cap—to his chest, he knocked on Jacey’s bedroom door. “You about ready in there?”
“Hold your horses, I’m coming!”
Jacey swung open the door.
She looked so incredible she took his breath away.
Her body was draped in a black skirt that barely hit her knees, and a red silk blouse, worn open at the neck, clung to her curves. A red-and-black bandanna was knotted around her neck, the ties to one side. Black tights, black suede stack-heeled loafers—which were still a little worse for the wear after her trek through the canyon earlier in the month—and a black suede jacket completed her outfit. “It’s the best I can do.”
Her best was pretty damn good.
He’d thought she looked incredible just tumbling out of bed, in that ridiculously frilly nightgown and cardigan. She looked gorgeous now in the sophisticated, city-girl way that he was fast coming to love.
“My hat and boots are in storage in San Antonio.”
Rafferty thought back to the pair of six-hundred-dollar boots she had admired at the western-wear store. He should have bought them for her then. She deserved that and so much more.
“I gather you haven’t worn them in a while?” he asked casually.
Jacey’s eyes filled with remorse. “Several years actually, which is a shame, because I really like kicker dancing.” After slinging a diaper bag and purse over her arm, she accompanied Rafferty out to the kitchen, where the food was boxed up and waiting. “How long does this party last?”
Rafferty shifted the baby to her. “They’ll have fireworks at midnight, and everyone will probably disband some time after that.”
Jacey hesitated. “Then I should drive, too, because I’m going to want to come home early.”
“I’ll take you both ways.” He pressed a finger against her lips, cutting off the protest he knew was coming. “I don’t want you and Caitlin getting lost again on mountain roads, late at night.”
She searched his eyes. “You’re sure you don’t mind?”
Rafferty wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders, and being careful not to crowd the baby in her arms, leaned over to kiss her tenderly. “It’s my privilege.”
THIS WASN’T A DATE, Jacey told herself firmly as they walked into the Christmas rodeo. But it felt like a date.
Starting with the way everyone looked at them, and the way Rafferty never left her and Caitlin’s side. He held the baby as much as she did. Introduced them both around to the ranchers and their families and the hired help that ran those spreads.
Jacey felt welcome in a soul-deep way she never had
before. So much so that by the time the band warmed up and the music started she was beginning to wonder if her growing relationship with Rafferty was such a good thing.
“Something on your mind?” Rafferty asked when he finally led her onto the dance floor that had been erected over the lawn.
Jacey looked over at Caitlin, who was happily ensconced in Eli’s arms. “I was thinking how good your father is with my baby girl,” she fibbed.
He gathered her into his arms. “Besides that.”
I was thinking I might be getting too close to you.
Wary of giving too much of her feelings away, Jacey concentrated on following his lead as they two-stepped to the lively beat. “I was thinking how happy everyone is to see you here tonight, with your party attitude on.”
It was such a change from the way he had been when she had accidentally trespassed on his ranch nearly seven weeks before.
“Been a while,” he admitted, twirling her around.
Their midriffs touched as she went back into his arms. “Any particular reason why?”
One hand clasping hers, the other anchored at her waist, he gazed down at her and said very softly, “I think you know the answer to that.”
She wanted to believe it was her.
Trying not to think how much she was enjoying dancing with him—almost as much as she enjoyed making love with him—Jacey cleared her throat. “So…have you decided what you want for Christmas this year?”
“This your way of trying to win our bet? By coaxing me into revealing a gift list?”
She needed to gift him with something, if only as a thank-you for giving her a place to stay, rising to an emergency situation and delivering Caitlin into the world. “You must want something,” she insisted, knowing she wanted to win so much more than a simple bet with him—she wanted to win his heart.
His blue eyes twinkling, he leaned close enough to whisper, “Ask me again later. When we get home. And I promise I’ll tell you.”
As soon as they got back to the ranch and she put Caitlin down, Jacey went in search of Rafferty.
She found him in the ranch-house living room. A pensive look on his handsome face, he stood, staring at the festively lit tree. Her heart was suddenly thumping so hard she could hear it in her ears.
“So what did you want for Christmas?” she asked.
He turned toward her. Slowly, effortlessly, he closed the distance between them, took both her hands in both of his. Still looking at her as if she was the most beautiful woman on earth, he inclined his head to one side. “It’s not really limited to or related to the holiday. What I want is more of a lifelong wish.”
She caught her breath at the intensity of his gaze. “And that is…?”
“To love and be loved again,” he said, his lips moving across her temple, down her cheek, then hovering above her mouth with tantalizing nearness. “Just like this.”
Returning his embrace, Jacey celebrated the fate that had brought her to this ranch, and to him. He parted her lips and slid his tongue into her mouth, kissing her with a need that was sweet and hot and deeply passionate. Jacey wreathed her arms around his neck and kissed him back in a way that had him moaning, too.
He danced her backward, until he had trapped her against the wall and his body. And for that moment in time there was nothing between them except this searing, elemental need. She had never felt this desired. So revered…
A thrill swept through her as he unclasped her bra and molded her breasts with his hands, teasing the nipples into pebble-hard tips. His kiss grew more urgent, and she surged against him, needing so much more. “Rafferty…”
“I know.” He placed his hands beneath her hips and scooped her up to waist level, her legs wrapped around his waist. “Nice as that tree is, we’ve got to get more comfortable….”
He carried her to her bedroom and set her down next to the bed.
“We keep ending up here,” she murmured, slipping out of her shoes and skirt.
He shut and locked the door behind them. “Maybe that should tell us something.” By the time he’d reached her, his boots and shirt were off, too.
She helped him with his belt and jeans. “Like women who’ve given birth have a need to assuage certain physical needs and feel desirable again?”
“That, and the fact that the two of us…are meant to be.”
Engulfing her with the heat and strength of his body, he lowered his head and delivered another breath-stealing kiss. She trembled, and he kissed her again, shattering whatever reserve she had left.
Her lips parted beneath the pressure of his as his tongue swept her mouth with long sensuous strokes. All the while his hands swept down her body, molding and exploring.
It felt so good to be wanted.
So good to be guided into bed and held against him like this, to have the barriers between them start coming down.
She felt his erection pressing against her, hot and urgent, his heart pounding in his chest.
Need poured out of him, akin to her own.
“I’m through pretending this isn’t what I want,” he whispered, raining kisses across her face, down her neck, to the shell of her ear. “I want you, Jacey.” He tunneled his hands through her hair and claimed her mouth again. “I want you to be mine.”
Jacey wanted that, too. So much.
She kissed him back, surrendering the way she never had before. He was so strong and passionate, so undeniably male. “And I want you.” She clasped his shoulders and pressed against him.
He grinned. “This time of year, everyone gets their wish.” He slid down her body, kissing the hollow of her stomach, stroking the insides of her thighs. Then he loved her more intimately still, until she was awash in pleasure, shuddering. Until there was no more doubt how much they needed each other, needed this. She lifted her hips, letting him know, without a doubt, it was time.
Kissing her slowly, he edged her knees even farther apart and eased into her. And then she was moaning again, moving against him—with him—her body taking up the timeless rhythm that seemed created just for the two of them. What few boundaries still existed between them dissolved. Pleasure rushed through her as he possessed her tenderly. Feelings triumphed as they moved toward a single goal, savoring the release.
LONG MOMENTS PASSED as they lay tangled together, their intertwined bodies exhausted, yet still eager for more. They had too little time alone, Rafferty thought fiercely. That was going to have to change.
He knew Jacey wasn’t ready to deal with the ramifications of their coupling, but he couldn’t keep pretending this was only a temporary fling, meant to stem the rising tide of estrogen and need within her. Not when he knew it was so much deeper.
The truth was, Jacey and her baby had brought him back to life.
He would always grieve the loss of his wife and child, but now he was ready to move on.
To experience love again. With Jacey.
He wanted to be more to her than what he was now—friend and part-time lover. A helluva lot more. And he sensed she wanted that, too, even if she wasn’t quite ready to admit it.
In the meantime…
He rolled so she was on top of him and began to make love to her once again.
They had this.
Chapter Twelve
“That’s the fourth call you’ve had this morning,” Curly teased early Monday morning.
Jacey flushed and continued passing around a second round of buttermilk biscuits, crisp sausage patties and cream gravy—a stick-to-your-ribs breakfast the cowboys could never get enough of.
“I bet I know why they’re calling the bunkhouse,” Stretch ventured.
“The other ranches want to steal Jacey away from us,” Gabby stated unhappily.
“You’re getting offers for other chef jobs, aren’t you?” Curly added.
Red looked upset. “Is that why the Broken Saddle Ranch called you?”
“I was hoping it was just for your potato-salad recipe,” Hoss said.
&n
bsp; “And that chocolate-peppermint sheet cake,” Rafferty praised.
“You really did the Lost Mountain Ranch proud with the dishes you brought to the Christmas rodeo,” Eli said.
The eyes of every cowboy at the bunkhouse table mirrored the same sentiment.
“Thank you.” Jacey didn’t know when she had received more compliments, or enjoyed her work so much. Which made the idea of going back to a property-management position all the less appealing. Puttering around the ranch kitchen, trying out new recipes, perfecting old ones, did not even feel like work. It felt like fun…Yet she knew she couldn’t stay here and not fall even harder for the elusive rancher. And since she knew she needed love to be happy…
“So, are they trying to steal you away?” Stretch persisted.
Noting that Rafferty looked equally worried, Jacey waved off the concern of the cowboys. She tried not to wonder whether Rafferty was concerned about the loss of a chef or his secret lover. Or both. “I’ve had a few inquiries,” she admitted reluctantly. “I’ve told them I’m not interested in going to another ranch.”
A collective sigh of relief was heard. “Well, thank heavens for that,” Hoss said, patting his ample belly. “You’ve got us spoiled, Jacey.”
Another murmur of assent followed.
Guilt swept through her. Conflicted, she turned to Rafferty.
“I hate to break it to you, fellas,” he said, “but Jacey isn’t going to be staying here indefinitely.”
Eli looked at Rafferty. “Unless one of us can convince her otherwise,” he said meaningfully.
Ignoring his father’s less-than-subtle hint, Rafferty continued, “Jacey has been looking for another position in her field all along. She’s even locked up an interview in Austin right after Christmas.”
Faces fell. The room reverberated with disappointment.
Rafferty was only speaking the truth. So why, Jacey wondered, did it suddenly feel as if she’d been stabbed in the heart? She plastered a reassuring smile on her face. “I told you-all the way it was from the beginning,” she reminded gently. “I only agreed to take this job through the Christmas holiday.”
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