by Todd, E. L.
She pulled away from him and nodded. “I’m scared.”
“Don’t be,” he assured her.
Suzie saw Drake reach the top of the stairs and she flinched when she saw him. Aleco turned around and met his brother’s gaze. There was no fear in his eyes. His face was stoic. Drake stared at Aleco for a long moment. He knew his brother had ratted him out, not Suzie, and it sent his body into a boiling rage. The betrayal crippled him and made him want to kill his brother. Aleco had always annoyed him with his superiority and his obvious favoritism, but this had crossed a line. There was no going back.
“You’ll regret this, brother,” Drake said.
Canu
5
Accacia sat in the marketplace with Laura and they were joined by the other members of the Asquithian race, whom all had questions about the upcoming voyage. They asked about the accommodations on the ship and their first destination on the Continent. Accacia answered them to the best of her ability. The queen knew how frightened her subjects were and she felt guilty for initiating the decision.
“There are others waiting for us in Orgoom Forest. We will not be alone, I assure you.” Accacia looked around at the nervous faces, trying to assuage their doubts and fears. They seemed eased by the queen’s faith in their success. “I know how frightened you all are and I understand your concern, but this needs to be done. I wouldn’t lead you into battle if I didn’t think we would prevail—remember that. The Soul Binders need to be eradicated and our kin need to be released. There is nothing more important—I’m sure you all agree.” Eventually, they trailed back to their eaves, making the final preparations for the journey. They were leaving their homes, possibly forever, in two days.
Laura looked around the marketplace and saw people gather the last of their belongings for the trip. Asquithians were closing their shops and covering the furniture that would be unused for months. It was a depressing sight. “I suspect this will be the last day Zyle will be locked up in the Tower, occupied with his preparations.”
Accacia leaned back in her chair and stared across the table at her aunt. She shook her head. “I hope you’re right but I sincerely doubt it. There is always work to be done by the king.”
“I think he will make an exception for tomorrow.”
“Why tomorrow?”
Laura stared at her for a moment. “If you don’t already know then I’m not at liberty to say.”
Accacia continued to stare at Laura, confused by her words. “I don’t understand.”
“I’m sorry, Accacia,” she said. “I assumed you already knew. I can’t reveal anything about Zyle unless he tells you first. I am very sorry to keep you in the dark.”
“Is this about why he left the Battle Academy? He never explained why he abandoned his post—he said he just quit.”
Laura thought to herself for a moment. “No,” she answered. “That has nothing to do with it.”
“Could you tell me what happened at the Battle Academy?”
“I suppose I could. That is a matter of public record—everyone in the city is aware of the transgression. But you may want to hear it from Zyle and not me. The choice is yours.”
Accacia thought for a moment. If Zyle wanted to know something personal about her, she would prefer it if he questioned her directly, not gather information from other sources. “I’ll ask him myself.”
Laura nodded. “I think that’s best.”
Accacia looked at the beacons in the trees above the sky, watching the color blanket the forest grounds, highlighting the street ways even in the darkness. “I’m going to miss this place.”
“Do you plan on returning?”
“Of course I do.”
“Then stop thinking like that, Accacia.” She looked up into the trees and admired the presence of the Canu birds—they followed Accacia everywhere. “You’ll see it again soon.”
Accacia continued to stare at the beacons. “Who lights the lanterns?”
“The Canu birds,” she answered.
Accacia smiled. “I never knew that.”
“Yes, we built the lanterns but the birds light the beacons themselves. Fire is not permitted in the forest—it’s too dangerous to the wood.”
Accacia nodded. “Those birds are amazing.”
“Yes, they are.”
The sun had completely disappeared from the sky and Accacia assumed Zyle would be home by now. He would be furious if she made him wait. Her cheeks turned crimson when she thought about his last request.
Laura saw the color in her cheeks. “Is Zyle home?”
Accacia’s face turned an even darker shade of red, mortified that her aunt could read her expression with such ease. “Yes,” she said weakly. “He probably returned to the eave by now.”
Laura laughed. “Don’t keep your husband waiting.”
Accacia stared at her aunt one more time before she stood. The night was beautiful and dark, but the heat of the island still warmed her skin even though she wore a thin dress. She hated the dry air of the Continent and their cold winters. She couldn’t imagine living there again, not after staying in paradise. She rose from the chair and kissed her aunt on the cheek. “Good night, Laura.”
“Good night, my dear.”
Accacia walked barefoot down the dirt road toward the eave, tucked in the back of the woods. The city was silent and she could feel her footfalls against the ground below her feet. Her hair had grown long since she had come to the island and she had cut it, despite Zyle’s objections, and it still reached her breasts. She loved the length.
She walked into the eave and saw Zyle sitting on the couch, reading a book while he faced the window. Koku and Pia sat on the table, eating from the bag of seeds he had left for them. She kissed him on the neck. “I’m sorry if I kept you waiting.”
He leaned his head back on the couch and kissed her. “You’ll just have to make up for that as well—in addition to your other debt.” He placed the book on the table and patted the seat next to him. She came to the couch and looked at the two birds.
“Hello, Koku and Pia. How are you?”
They clicked their beaks in response then continued to consume the seeds.
Zyle grabbed her hand. “How was your time with Laura?”
“Good,” she said. “At times I can’t believe we are related—she is so amazing.”
“As are you,” he said.
Accacia recalled their conversation and the material that was too sensitive for Laura to reveal. She wondered if she should ask him about it. Zyle had already said personal questions were inappropriate. She wondered if he would mind.
“Can I ask you something, Zyle?” She caressed his hand within her own. “You don’t have to answer it if you wish not to.”
“Of course I have to answer your question,” he said. “I don’t have an option.”
“Yes, you do. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to discuss.”
Zyle shook his head. “I misspoke, Accacia. You’re my life partner, so I want to tell you everything. Anything you ask of me I will answer with the truth—I will have no secrets from you.”
“I feel the same way.”
“I know you do.” Zyle stared at her and waited for her to speak. “Ask what you wish.”
“Anything?” she asked skeptically.
“I’m an open book. Nothing about my past will change your feelings for me.”
“So you have lived a righteous life?”
Zyle laughed. “No, not at all, but I know you will love me forever.”
She smiled. She was pleased by his faith in her. The thought reminded her of Aleco, but she pushed the thought back. She wouldn’t let herself think about him when she was with Zyle. “Laura mentioned something about tomorrow—apparently it has some significance to you. She wouldn’t tell me what it was.”
Zyle nodded. He stared out the window before he found his voice. Accacia feared what he might say. “Tomorrow is my anniversary to Cassandra—the day she and I
became life partners.”
Accacia felt her heart drop. She wrapped her arms around him and held him close. “I’m so sorry, Zyle.”
He kissed her on the head. “Thank you, Accacia.” He stroked the strands of her hair with his fingers. “I usually leave the city and explore the island in solitude, sleeping under the stars I used to stare at with her, but I won’t do that this year.”
“Why not?” she asked.
Zyle looked at her. “I’m not grieving anymore, Accacia. I don’t carry a vigil of her in my heart any longer—there is no room. You are taking up all the space.”
Accacia didn’t know what to say. “So, you just don’t think about her anymore?”
“I didn’t say that.” Zyle shook his head. “It just doesn’t hurt like it used to—you filled that void within me. I still miss her and I still think about her but—I’ve moved on. I know she would be happy for me, Accacia. There isn’t a doubt in my mind.”
Accacia kissed his cheek. “I understand if you still need time alone.”
“No,” he said. “I hate being apart from you. I feel worse when I am.”
“So, will you be in the Tower tomorrow?”
“No, I’m spending my last day in paradise with you.” He kissed her head. “We’ll explore the island, swim in the ocean, and make love under the trees. It will be a day to get us through the coming nightmare.”
Accacia smiled at his words. “I’m excited.”
“Do you have any other questions?”
Accacia remembered Zyle’s quick departure from the Battle Academy. “Why did you leave the academy so suddenly? And why won’t you return?”
Zyle met her gaze. “I killed a student during a training session, on accident, of course. He wasn’t wearing the proper armor under his clothing and I wounded him fatally. He bled out and died.”
Accacia stared at him with a look of shock. She hadn’t expected that response at all. Her heart thudded in her chest and she sat forward, nauseated by the information. Zyle felt Accacia pull her hand away and he sighed at her departure. He was ashamed of himself.
“I’ve never forgiven myself for it, Accacia. My student may enter the void because of my ignorance. I can’t go back to the academy—I never can.”
Accacia dropped her face into her palms. She felt so terrible for Zyle—what a horrible burden to live with.
“The instructors forgave me, understanding it was an accident. The Asquithians did as well—they knew I would never kill another on purpose. It was painful—nonetheless. I will forever regret that day.”
Accacia realized she wasn’t comforting her life partner at all—she was worrying him further. She returned to him and crawled into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. Zyle buried his face in her chest and felt his body relax at her embrace. She always made him feel better.
“I am so sorry,” she said. “I love you.” Accacia didn’t know what else to say. She knew nothing could erase the past.
He pulled away from her. “I love you, too.”
She stared at him for a moment and kissed his face, trailing her lips from his eyes to his mouth. She massaged his hair with her fingertips.
“You forgive me?” he asked.
“Yes.” She kissed him. “Of course I do.”
Zyle breathed a sigh of relief. “As long as you do, I can go on.”
Accacia smiled at him. She leaned back and stared at him, rubbing his chest with her hands. She could feel the muscles of his pectorals under his shirt and the muscles of his stomach. He retuned her gaze with a hungry look. “Anything else you want to know? I want to go into the bedroom soon.”
Accacia thought for a moment. There were a few answers she wanted. “How many women have you slept with?”
Zyle looked uncomfortable. The heat in his gaze evaporated and he looked away, staring at anything but her. “I want you to remember something, Accacia. I’m four-hundred and twenty-eight—so I’ve been around a long time.”
Accacia turned his face toward her. “You don’t have to answer my question. It really doesn’t matter if you do.”
Zyle sighed and met her gaze. “I’ll give you an approximation—seventy women.”
Accacia’s eyes widened. “Wow.”
Zyle closed his eyes.
“I guess that makes sense.”
“What does?”
“Why you’re so experienced,” she said. “That is a lot of partners.”
“Do you think less of me?”
Accacia smiled at him. “What do you think?”
Zyle sighed. “Thank the gods.” Zyle grabbed her hips with his palms. “Can I ask you the same question? How many men have you bedded besides me?”
“Two.”
“I can work with that.”
“Yes, it’s a lot easier to manage than seventy.”
Zyle blushed at her words, and her heart fluttered like it always did when she stared at him. He was so handsome it hurt. The question was out of her mouth before she could stop herself. “When did you fall in love with me?”
Zyle cupped her face and ran his hands through her hair, loving the feel of the soft strands between his fingertips. “I don’t know if I could answer that accurately—I want to say the first time I laid eyes on you, but obviously that isn’t so. I can’t tell you when—I’ve always loved you. That’s the most I can say.”
“When did you know I was your soul mate?”
“That I have a definitive answer to. It was when Koku brought Pia to you and she asked to be your companion. That was the moment I knew we were life partners—it was also the moment I knew I was destined for you.” Zyle kissed her lips and lingered on her mouth for a moment. He pulled away. “When did you know you loved me?”
Accacia looked away. “When I told you I had a miscarriage.”
Zyle stared at her. “That’s an interesting moment. I would have thought that was a painful time. We barely knew each other.”
“I know.” She returned her gaze to him. “I didn’t understand why I told you that. I never even told Aleco about it. I was attracted to you and felt innately comfortable around you—I knew I felt something special for you.”
Zyle smiled. He enjoyed knowing she had confided a secret to him that she never revealed to Aleco. He finally felt a connection to her and her past, one that Aleco wasn’t a part of. “When did you know I was your soul mate?”
“Laura told me—well, she led me to the realization. It dawned on me in the moment. I don’t know why it took me so long to figure it out.”
“I know why,” he said. “You were still in love with Aleco.”
Accacia looked away. She didn’t understand why he used the past tense. She knew better than to correct him. She already told Zyle her feelings would never change.
There was something plaguing her mind that she had never discussed with Zyle because the truth was too painful to bear. “Zyle—I should have told you this sooner and I’m sorry I waited so long.” Zyle looked at her with fear in his eyes. He had no idea what she was going to reveal to him. He hoped it wasn’t about Aleco. “I think I’m barren. I don’t think it’s possible for me to have children. You and I—we’ve been—together for a long time and I’ve never conceived a child.”
Zyle looked at her with a saddened expression. “I should have told you this sooner. Asquithians reproduce by a conscious thought. I won’t implant my seed within you until I decide to—it has nothing to do with your ability to conceive.” Zyle saw her breathe a sigh of relief. “I don’t think you’re barren, Accacia.”
“I fear that I might be.”
“How far along were you with Aleco’s child before it perished?”
Accacia shook her head. “Aleco wasn’t the father—it was the duke. And not that long. When Drake discovered I was with child, he ordered the midwives to cut it out of me. Due to the trauma of the surgery, I doubt my body could handle a baby.”
Zyle pushed Accacia off his lap and walked across the room. He held his hands over
his face and his body shook with anger. Accacia stayed on the couch and didn’t move—he had never acted this way before. Suddenly, Zyle upturned the kitchen table and threw it across the room where it smashed against the wall. He stared at the splintered pieces in silence. Accacia wrapped her arms around herself and looked away. She knew he was angry that she couldn’t carry his child—she should have told him this beforehand.
He came back to the couch. “I’m sorry I frightened you.”
“I’m sorry I can’t give you a baby.” She felt the tears behind her eyes.
Zyle cradled her into his arms. “That isn’t why I’m upset, Accacia—I’m angry about what the duke did to you. It is completely unacceptable. Now I understand why you never discussed that aspect of your past—I don’t want to know about it. Please don’t tell me.”
“You aren’t mad at me?”
Zyle met her gaze. “Yes, I would love to have children, Accacia, but if you can’t give them to me that’s fine as well. As long as I have you, I need nothing more.”
“I’m so sorry.”
Zyle kissed her. “Don’t be.” He rubbed her back and she calmed down. “You should feel sorry for Drake—I’m going to slice that man’s throat.”
Accacia smiled. “Get in line.”
Zyle laughed.
“I don’t want to discuss this anymore.”
Zyle nodded. “What would you like to discuss?”
Accacia leaned in and kissed his neck. “I believe I have a very large debt to pay.”
Zyle turned his neck, giving her more exposure to his skin, and he groaned at her touch. “Yes,” he said as he grabbed her hand and placed it over his groin. “It’s very large.”
Canu
6
Zyle had their packs prepared for the journey before Accacia woke up. He stowed away their lunches and waterskins, along with a blanket to lay on under the trees. Koku and Pia flew through the window and chirped loudly, excited about their upcoming adventure. Zyle hated to be the bearer of bad news. He told them they weren’t coming. Koku and Pia clicked their beaks at him with fury then flew out the window, furious that they weren’t invited. They were so loud that they woke up Accacia.
