by Kailin Gow
I looked at him, silent as I thought through everything he’d said.
“You know how Shayne can be when she makes up her mind. She came on strong, and I gave in. Not exactly the kind of thing I’m proud of and go around telling new girls I meet.”
“New girls?”
“You know what I mean… you.” A hint of a grin came to his lips. “Come on, Lux. Don’t tell me that I’ve lost you forever just because of a stupid thing like this.”
“I’m here, aren’t I?”
“Yeah.” He bit his bottom lip in that adorable way he had. “You are.”
I stepped closer and but not enough to allow him to wrap me in his arms. “Brax, I care so much for you, you have no idea. I don’t have many friends. When I was brand new, you stepped in and showed me around St. James. You're one of my closest friends.”
“Ouch.” He winced and pulled back. “Friends?”
“Brax, this isn’t the time to get wrapped up in emotions. I’m here to help you, and Asher’s doing everything he can to help, too. For now I want you to put your energy towards controlling yourself.”
He snickered. “Controlling myself?” With a firm yank, he pulled me into his arms. “How about controlling yourself?”
I felt the pull right away; the attraction, the arousal, the desire. It was strong and overpowering, making it almost impossible to control myself. My limbs were suddenly leaden and unable to pull away. I leaned into him, wanting to lose myself in his embrace, in his kiss.
My God, his lips were so tempting. They looked soft and inviting and I could already smell the enticing scent of his breath.
“Brax, I just came here to…” My voice was unusually husky, heavy with sexual tension and with the strain of holding back. “I came to help you.”
“Then help me.” His voice was just as heavy with desire as mine. He leaned in to brush his lips against my temple, and I closed my eyes, waiting for him to move his lips down to mine. My hunger for him was overwhelming, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer.
Before his lips found mine, I came to my senses.
“Brax, I can’t. Not like this. This pull…I mean I’m want you, but now as strong as this… it’s like I want you to devour me, to take me.”
Brax smiled. “That good?” He leaned in again.
I pushed him away and said, “Remember how whenever we kissed when we first dated, I kept seeing Moore’s face? I kept feeling this strong desire for him, although I was with you? It was like an enchantment.”
Brax ran his hand through his hair and let out a sigh of frustration. “I remember that alright,” he said gruffly. “I didn’t like it one bit, and I wanted to protect you from him.”
“But now your incubi powers are giving you that same ability as Moore’s. You’re irresistible, and I want more or you. I want you to do more than what I should be doing. You’re using your power over me.”
“No,” he shouted. His hands were strong and firm as he gripped my hips and held me at arms’ length. “Damn it.”
“Brax, I know you're not intentionally trying to control me, but you have to be careful.”
“I can’t believe this. I’m already going through so much, and on top of it all, you're now telling me that I have the power to draw you to me, but that very power is what is now repelling you. I’m using all my will power, every ounce of discipline to keep from ravishing you, but all you want is…”
He stood and walked to the window, plowing his hands through his hair then balling his fists and pounding the air in front of him.
“Please, Brax. I hate to see you upset like this. I’m doing everything I can to get you out of this curse, but you have to be patient.”
Looking at him now, it was almost impossible to see the handsome and strong young man I met just a few months ago. He’d been virtually flawless; his fair hair in shimmering curls around his face, his smile, alluring in its boyish appeal, his build, strong, powerful and so sexy.
These past days, I’d watch him crumble before my eyes. His was a soft, deteriorating shell of his former self.
“I thought we had something together,” Brax murmured, his eyes staring blankly out the window.
“Brax, those days we spent together, all those nights you tutored me, helped me… got me through tests, quizzes and exams, I really did have a good time with you. I enjoy your company. You're a smart and funny guy…”
“But…”
I thought of the few long and lingering kisses we’d shared. He was so perfect in so many ways, yet… Why didn’t I feel that… that special something, that spark? Where were the butterflies and damp palms?
With my heart aching, I reached for him, hoping to transmit the affection, however platonic it might be, to him. But the gentle touch of my hand to his shoulder wasn’t received as platonically as it had been delivered.
Brax turned to me, pulled me possessively into his arms and lowered his lips over mine. Hard and determined, he pried my lips apart with his tongue and reached in to taste my tongue. It felt like heaven, and I let out a low moan. He tightened his hold on me. He was almost savage in his embrace. His fingers dug into the flesh of my back, up my shoulders and through my hair. Tightening his grip, he held me close, while he deepen his kisses.
“Brax,” I shouted, finally able to pull back and push him away.
“What do you expect of me?” he shouted back. “You want me to just shut it off? You want me to simply ignore how I feel about you? How hungry I feel when I’m around you? Damn it, Lux. This is killing me.”
For an unsure moment I cast my eyes to the floor, while my fingers played over my tender and bruised lips. “You were hurting me.”
“I’m sorry.” He gripped my arm and pulled me to him. “That’s how badly I want you. I can’t even measure it out in small, tender doses like I should. I just want you. I know you're fighting it, for whatever reason, but I think you want me too.”
“All of that doesn’t matter right now, Brax. We have to focus on getting you out of this curse. Don’t you want that?”
“Yes.”
“Well, then…?”
“Is this all because of Moore?”
Taken aback, I looked at him. “What?”
“Moore. You know, the other guy you’ve been spending a lot of time with.”
I heard the bitterness in his voice and was torn between running from it or trying to diminish his anger.
“You know, the funny thing about that is that Moore has the very same problem I have. He has the same curse that I have, yet, you never really seemed too disturbed by that.”
“You have no idea what disturbs me, Brax.” Despite my desire to remain calm and keep my cool, I could feel the anger rising up my throat.
“Moore is just as incapable of controlling himself and his emotions as I am, yet…”
“Stop it, Brax.”
“Why? Because you don’t want to hear the truth about your own feelings.”
“Moore works very hard to control himself and his power over me. He knows how dangerous it can be.”
“Great. Now you're telling me that I should take lessons from Moore.”
“Fine, if that’s the way you want to be, I’m out of here.” I turned and reached for the door, but he grabbed my hand and pulled me back.
“What, are you in a rush to head back to Moore? Is that what you’ve been doing lately? Spending all your free time with him?”
“The way you're talking to me now, Brax, you don’t even deserve an answer, but I’ll give you one anyway. I haven’t see Moore for a few days and I have no idea what he’s up to. I came here hoping to help a friend, hoping to help someone I care deeply about, but if you just want to go on about my friendship with Moore…” I tore my hand free of his hold. “You can get yourself out of this hell you're in.”
I stormed out, angry and hurt. While my boots stomped the hardwood floors, my heart pounded with dread. I didn’t really want to leave him. What would become of him?
/>
His footsteps shook the floor, shook the walls as he came after me. “Lux,” he said. “Wait.”
Though I wanted to stop and hear him out, my feet continued to carry me away.
“Lux, please.”
I heard his voice just over my shoulder and expected him to grab my hand again to stop me, but he didn’t. He simply murmured my name… a plea.
“I didn’t come here to fight with you, Brax.” I managed to cease the advance of my feet, but couldn’t quite bring myself to turn to him.
“I know.”
“Do you think we could both calm down and just talk about this?” I glanced over my shoulder at him.
His fingers tentatively reached out to barely touch mine. “Please stay.”
“Okay, but only if you promise to keep Moore out of this.”
He grinned, boyish and adorable. “I promise.”
“Look, why don’t you go back and relax in the library, and I’ll go fix us each a good strong cup of cappuccino. Maybe together we can find a way to jog your memory and get you back to when you entered the locker room.”
“Sounds fair.” He kissed my brow and affectionately pinched my cheek.
Smiling I turned to head to the kitchen. Braxton’s uncle sure knew a thing about luxury. Though I’d been in the impressive mansion several times, I still marveled at the enormity of it. When I reached the huge and modern kitchen, I soon realized Brax should reconsider his decision to let go of the help. The kitchen was in dire need of a scrub down. A pile of dishes occupied a large portion of the counter and the sink contained pots and pans caked with dry food.
“Geez, Brax,” I muttered as I picked up a dishcloth with the very tips of my fingers.
Footsteps sounded behind he and I turned to chastise him. “How can you let your uncle’s place go like this, Brax?”
I turned to find an empty kitchen. “Brax?”
Silence.
With a shrug, I turned to find the espresso machine amidst the mess. I cleared the debris away and pulled the machine closer, then opened the cupboard to find the tin of coffee. As I opened the tin, however, it wasn’t the aromatic scent of coffee that tinkled my nostrils, but the pungent and acrid scent of sulfur.
“Brax?” I called out as I spun around and pinned my back to the counter. “Brax!”
With trained eyes, I scanned the expanse of the kitchen. The scent was strong, as if it came from right under my nose, but I could see nothing out of the ordinary. I’d always had the ability to see demons and felt increasingly nervous as nothing came into view.
The air in the room chilled and the hair at the back of my neck spiked. I’d fought in the dark before; in fog, mist, in blinding light, but I’d always had the ability to see something. Now I felt vulnerable and naked… defenseless.
As though to prove my point I felt a heavy blow to my shoulder which sent me sprawling to the floor. Before I could get my bearings, the invisible entity grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and sent me flying across the kitchen where I slammed into the refrigerator door.
I scrambled to my feet and gazed blindly at the space in front of me. There wasn’t even a hint, not even a ghostly image of a demon. Whoever this demon was, he was absolutely pure in his invisibility.
My heart pounded and I tried to control the knot of panic that slowly built up. This wasn’t the time to lose my head. Visible or not, the demon had to be destroyed. Sulfur rose to my nostrils, so strong I almost gagged, both from the odor and from the knowledge he was close… too close.
“Lux,” Brax shouted as he entered the kitchen. “Your crucifix. He’s right on you.”
I reached for the black cross hung around my neck just seconds before cold and callous claws clamped down over my throat.
Brax rushed to my side, took a hold of the invisible being in front of us and I reached out to touch my crucifix to it. Instantly the air changed. The scent dissipated and the temperature rose.
“You okay?” Brax pulled me into his arms and pressed his lips to my brow.
“How’d you know?”
“I smelled something funny and wondered what you were up to,” he said with a wry grin. “I know you're not too handy in the kitchen so…”
“Cute. Seriously…”
“I did smell something,” he said in a more serious tone. “And as I got closer the smell got worse. Pungent and stinky.”
“But you saw him.”
“Of course I saw him, but you didn’t, did you?” He held me at arms length and looked at me, his eyes full of concern. “You were just staring blindly in front of you. You were looking right through it. What’s going on?”
I pulled away and grabbed a stool to sit on. “I don’t know.” I was reluctant to share my fears with him. “I smelled him. At least there’s that, but I didn’t see him. I didn’t see anything.”
“I’m going to have to keep a closer eye on you.”
I looked at him. “I didn’t see anything in the locker room either,” I confessed.
“Has this ever happened before?”
“Never. I don’t understand.”
“Maybe you should have a word with Moore about it.”
“I thought we were past that,” I snapped.
“I’m not trying to start this whole thing with Moore again. I’m serious.”
“And why should I talk to Moore, then?”
“Well…” He hesitated and seemed embarrassed to go on. “I think he knows a lot… about them. He…” He pulled up another stool and sat beside me. “He came to see me after the whole Shayne thing.”
“He did?”
“He wanted to apologize for what she’d done. He said he felt awful for the part she’d played in what happened to my parents and the curse I live with.”
“I can’t believe he did that. That’s so sweet of him.”
“Yeah,” he muttered. “That’s the reaction I was hoping for… he’s sweet.”
I immediately regretted praising Moore so openly, but I was truly proud of him. For him to be able to set aside his jealousy in order to personally apologize to Brax… it took a big man…
“Anyway, he sure seemed to know a lot about demons and being cursed. He told me quite a bit about what I was about to go through. Tell you the truth, I was mad at him at first. I was still in denial and didn’t want to believe any of it. There was even a moment there where I wanted to smash his face in just for telling me about it all.”
I cocked a brow, surprised by the ferocity of his words.
“But I’ve since come to appreciate what he told me. It helped me accept what’s happening to me and it’s given me a few tools to better deal with everything.”
“Like what? I want to be able to help you however I can.”
Before answering, he got up and went to the sink where he filled two goblets of water and came back. He handed me one of them and drank from the other. After a long series of gulps he looked at me. “In a way, it’s all really simple. He said I should cling to the good things in my life, that I should hold that up as the goal, as the reason for fighting this. Every time I feel defeated and want to let go, I should think of all the things I hold dear… all the people I hold dear.” His gaze softened as he looked at me. “I’m sure it’s no surprise, but you're the reason I want to fight this so badly. I know I’ll slip up from time to time, but I really do want to survive this.”
“And I’ll do everything to make sure you do survive this, Brax, for me and for everyone else who cares about you. But more than anything, you should consider doing this for you.”
Chapter 3
Hunger
Moved by Moore’s visit to Brax, I decided to pay him a visit of my own. I arrived at his impressive mansion with a chill of the few times I’d been there with Shayne. She was gone, led to hades by Braxton’s parents and other demons, but I could still feel her presence, her sexuality and her desire permeating the entire mansion.
When Moore opened the door to let me in, it was clear her disappearance
had left a void in the big, luxurious house.
“I haven’t seen you for a few days,” I said as I followed him to the back deck. “How’re you coping?”
“Fine. Okay. Great.” He sat back in a teak lounge chair spread out by the pool. Scratching his head, he gazed at me. “Okay, maybe not so great.”
“That’s what I was afraid of. Not seeing you these past days, not hearing a word from you, I had a feeling something was up.” I pulled a deck chair up to his and sat facing him.
“It’s getting worse,” he confided. “Since the portal’s been opened, I have trouble finding my true self within. It’s sounds so ludicrous, but that’s how it feels. I don’t even know myself anymore. I do things I would never do. I say things I don’t even think. The other day I took a box load of photos of Shayne when she was young and dumped them in the shredder.”
“That’s understandable, Moore. She put you through a lot.”
He nodded somberly. “I walk around the house a lot and I’ve been in her room a few times. It still smells of her. A lot of her clothes is still lying around. I didn’t touch anything and I gave strict orders to the help not to even step inside her room.”
“I can imagine.”
“Then there are days I can’t go in there at all. I want to tear everything up. I want to rip everything apart. I want to punch the walls out. I’m so mad at her, but at the same time, I feel the effect of the portal that was opened. I can sense the intensity of the demons that were released. Dr. Kingsley did so much to hold them back, but they’re coming and they’re strong.”
“I think we’ve already had a taste of that at St. James.”
Moore looked at me and waited for me to explain.
“Asher chased a demon into the locker room. Not long after we found Bobby Fleishman’s drained body in a shower stall.”
“The lacrosse defense guy?”
“Yeah. Worst of all is that Brax was there.”
