by Mia Ashlinn
Katie-Anne was shocked that she was crying so publicly, so openly. Normally, she would be mortified, but at the moment, she could not dredge up the emotion. There were too many other things inside her head to be worried about making a spectacle of herself.
Without warning, her sniffles turned into gulping sobs. Yeah, I should be mortified. Hell, I should be hiding in a closet somewhere, not in the middle of a place filled with Serenity’s townspeople. I am going to regret this later. She wished she could care, but she still couldn’t. She still didn’t.
Shannon threw an arm around Katie-Anne’s shoulder. “You need to tell them before anybody else, and you know it. That is why you can’t even bring yourself to talk to us. I know you don’t believe me, but I think it will be easier for you to tell them than us.”
Katie-Anne’s head came up in a flash, and she cried out, “What? Why?”
Pulling her closer to her side, Shannon responded, “Because you love them,” as if it should be as obvious to her as it was to them.
“If you can tell them then walk away, you will know you gave it everything you have,” Ella suggested from across the table as she clasped Katie-Anne’s freezing hand and squeezed.
Blinking to clear her eyes, Katie-Anne choked out, “But I won’t be able to walk away.”
“Can you do it now?” Sarah asked, looking at Katie-Anne with such sad, knowing eyes. “I know you have all these plans, but I cannot see you leaving my brother and Shane—no matter what you say.”
Katie-Anne sniffled. “I’ll get over it.” I will. I have to.
“I don’t think you will,” Sarah stated, the conviction in her voice so sound it rang with every word. She took Katie-Anne’s other hand. “In fact, I know you won’t.”
“I agree with Sarah,” Shannon said. “I think you are deluding yourself, my friend.”
Of course I am, but it is so much easier than the alternative.
Sitting there, surrounded by her friends, Katie-Anne couldn’t remember why she wanted to walk away. Yes, her heart was breaking. Yes, she was unhappy. But, would she be happier elsewhere? Would her heart be any less broken? She didn’t think so.
Serenity was her home, and these people were her family. It would kill her to walk away from not only her men, but also the people in this unorthodox town. Where was another place to live that people were free to love in any way they wanted to?
Sure, she’d read many books that were filled with these kinds of towns, but she’d never found one on a map. Then again, she’d never found a map with Serenity, Luscious, or Kinky on it, either.
“I like being delusional,” Katie-Anne muttered, feeling a watery smile form on her face. “It is such fun.”
Jaycee snorted. “It is not fun, Katie-Anne, and it won’t change a damn thing. You will still wake up every morning with more regrets than satisfaction. You will still cry into your pillow at night, and you will still dream about them when you sleep. Running is futile. Trust me, I know.”
With a broken sigh, Jaycee told her, “You might not be here physically, but you will never be gone in here.” She put her hand on Katie-Anne’s left breast, over her heart. “It is not possible.”
“I know,” Katie-Anne croaked. “But I have to try. I just can’t be here anymore, for a million reasons. If I can’t live outside of Serenity, I will come back. I promise.”
Appearing as if from thin air, Landon said, “We have been over this, Katie-Anne. You aren’t going anywhere.” His smooth, sexy voice glided over her skin, making chill bumps race over her flesh. An involuntary tremble worked its way through her body, and she moved closer to Jaycee and Shannon on each side of her.
Landon’s face flashed with pain as he obviously noticed her using her two friends as shields from him.
Immediately, she felt horrible, her heart throbbing painfully in her chest. She hadn’t meant to hurt him. It wasn’t like she feared him. She feared what he made her feel. It was too much for her—too much passion, too much love. It was too much agony and too much fear.
She’d learned the pain of love from her mother, and she didn’t know that she could risk it again, not even for him or Shane. She’d tried it when she was sixteen, and she’d tried again when she’d married Shane, but look at what that had cost her.
The night of their wedding, Shane had said the right things to her. He’d done the right things. She hadn’t had a chance against him, and she’d known it. Walking down the aisle, toward him and Landon, had been the only moment in her life that she’d felt love, that she’d felt true happiness.
* * * *
Two and a half months ago, a November night in East Tennessee…
Breathing slowly, Katie-Anne put one foot in front of the other as she glided down the long aisle to the only men she’d ever loved. It was all she could do to not run toward them and throw herself into their arms. But that would be rather embarrassing for her—not because of them, but because of the video everyone would surely see as soon as Jaycee’s wedding weekend was over. It wasn’t like she could keep this under wraps long.
She gazed around the splendorous room that Landon had set up with the help of the only three attendants at the wedding—Deke, Adam, and Sarah. The two men looked serious, almost somber, but she knew they were happy for her, Shane, and Landon. They’d told her so when they came in just a few minutes ago after Shane had called and told them to get back down to the chapel with Sarah.
Standing close by, Sarah beamed at her, showing her how ecstatic she was to become her sister in a few minutes. No, Katie-Anne wouldn’t be marrying Landon on paper, but she would be in her heart. She now understood why Jaycee didn’t give a shit about what man was on the marriage certificate.
It wasn’t like the paper meant as much as what she felt in her heart when she spoke the words as old as time. She wouldn’t be saying them to just Shane. She would be reciting the words to Landon, too, even if it freaked out the preacher. At this point, she didn’t give a damn about anyone or anything, save the two handsome men at the altar and the love filling their eyes.
Katie-Anne inhaled slowly, attempting to settle the butterflies in her stomach. She’d never been so excited in her life. There were no nerves, no jitters in her body. She was happy and complete and ready to start their lives together.
The moment Shane had pleaded with her, saying, “Please don’t leave. Please don’t walk away. Stay with me. Stay with us,” Katie-Anne had known that she would stay. When he mentioned wanting to marry her, she’d known she would say yes.
He’d made an ass out of himself when he’d barged in on her and Landon’s wedding, but she understood it. She understood him. So, it wasn’t okay that he’d been a jerk, but it was forgivable. And now it was forgotten.
Reaching the two men at the front of the small chapel outside of Deke and Adam’s private retreat, Katie-Anne grinned up at first Shane and then Landon next to him. She felt her eyes softening as moisture filled them.
“I love you,” she whispered to Shane. Winking at Landon, she murmured, “And I love you, too.”
Her future husbands each smiled back at her and said, “I love you,” bringing another surge of tears to her eyes.
The preacher cleared his throat, looking at them pointedly. “Are we ready to begin?”
All three of them exclaimed, “Yes,” at once.
* * * *
Present day, mid-January…
“Landon, I think we should discuss this privately,” she murmured, peering meaningfully around the extremely busy sweet shop.
“I couldn’t agree more,” he replied. “I need to talk to you about something else anyway. Let’s go.”
“What?” Katie-Anne asked. “I meant later.” Much, much, much later. Like a week past never.
“Go,” Shannon urged her. “You have to do this.”
Katie-Anne recognized the truth in her friend’s statement, but before she could agree, Landon demanded, “Now.”
Katie-Anne wanted to balk at his command. She wan
ted to tell him to fuck off, but when he brought out that voice, that tone, she couldn’t deny him. Hell, her pussy wouldn’t let her. It would speak for her, begging and pleading, if need be.
A large amount of moisture flooded her panties. She squirmed slightly, hoping she looked as though she was preparing to get out of her seat and not like a shamelessly horny woman ready to be fucked. It would help if her friends had moved from her side, but they didn’t.
Landon’s lips twitched, a knowing smile forming on his so-damn-kissable lips. God, I want those lips on me—anywhere and everywhere. But I need to feel the heat of his mouth against my pussy. All she could think about was him sucking her throbbing clit into his mouth, easing the needy ache before building the orgasm to end them all.
Focus. Katie-Anne breathed in and then out again before conceding, “Okay, I will talk to you, Landon.” If you talk to me like that again, I will do whatever you want me to—standing up, sitting down, on my back. I’m easy to get along with.
Shannon scooted out of the booth, paving the way for her to slide out. Katie-Anne moved toward the edge of the bench. Ever the perfect gentleman, Landon reached for her elbow and assisted her up. “Thank you,” she said with a smile. The man always made her feel so safe, so cherished.
“You’re welcome,” he replied easily as he pulled her away from the table. “Tell the girls goodbye so they don’t follow us out of here.”
Katie-Anne laughed softly and whispered for his ears only, “They would.”
“I know.”
Glancing over her shoulder at her friends, Katie-Anne waved. “Bye-bye.”
A chorus of good-byes filled the air, but Katie-Anne didn’t pay them any mind. She was already halfway out the door with Landon.
Chapter 13
Katie-Anne let Landon usher her out of The Sweet Spot and into the cool morning air. The sun had risen a couple of hours ago, so she and most of the town were already up and at ‘em. People were bustling up and down the streets, heading in one direction or another.
With him practically dragging her behind him, Katie-Anne struggled to keep up. Even though she was tall for a woman, she just couldn’t match his long, effortless strides. “Where are you taking me?” she asked in confusion. “There aren’t many places around this part of town to be alone.”
Landon didn’t answer her. He just kept pulling her along beside him. When they reached his souped-up Jeep Liberty, he opened the back door and hefted her in with one arm. Instead of shutting the door as she’d expected, he leaned forward and captured her mouth with his.
A smile curved up underneath his lips but only for a moment. The second his tongue probed her lips and pushed inside, her desire flamed and she forgot about any of her amusement.
She moaned as he deepened their kiss, his hands cupping her face tenderly. His body contradicted the passion of his kiss. The man was devouring her and, damned, if she didn’t love every second of it. She let him take control of the kiss, not even attempting to dominate the movement of their lips as they flowed together.
Landon groaned against her lips, but the sound got lost in her mouth. He stepped up into the SUV as he lowered her onto her back. Crawling atop her body, he never released her lips nor did he shut the door. Something about people being able to see them in an intimate embrace did something to her, and a giggle burst from her lips.
He pulled back with a smug smile. “You want people to see us. You want them to know who you belong to.”
Her cheeks burst into flames, but she nodded anyway. It was the truth. He knew it and so did she. There was no point in lying. “Yes,” she hissed. “I love it.”
“Do you want me to pull that sexy skirt up and fuck you for the world to see?”
She shivered. “No! I c–c–can’t.”
“Wimp,” he teased. “You better get ready for a little exhibitionism. Shane is all about it, and apparently, you are, too.”
She shook her head, despite the truth of his statement. Her body loved the thought of eyes on her as the two men claimed her. It was primitive. It was cavewoman. It was sexy as hell. But it scared the shit out of her that people would see all the tiny imperfections on her body. They would see what she saw when she looked in the mirror—every pound, every wrinkle, every sag. No matter how many times she twisted or turned, all she saw was the flaws, inside and out.
Even those didn’t compare to the fear that they would see the invisible scar that marred her soul. Deep down, she knew that no one could see it except her. Not that it changed a thing. It was there, nonetheless, even when it was not visible to the naked eye.
She could almost feel the way their eyes would burn into the skin just above her mound where her mother had carved “unpretty” as a punishment for eating two slices of pizza at Jaycee’s eleventh birthday party. Even though the scar had faded from her skin with time, she couldn’t get the image out of her mind and, certainly, not her heart.
The self-hating voice in the back of her mind stirred and awakened, chanting “unpretty” over and over in her mind. Maybe I should call my sponsor.
Even as an adult, Katie-Anne still had contact with her Overeaters Anonymous sponsor. Most people had no clue she’d been treated for bulimia nervosa as a teen, and she liked to keep it that way. However, sometimes, she still needed to talk to Elizabeth England.
With her recent eating behavior, that sounded like a good idea. It wasn’t like eating disorders ever went away completely. They just went on the back burner, and she had to fight like hell to keep it there. This time wasn’t any different. And it was more important than ever that she remained in remission.
Landon brushed his warm lips across her forehead softly. “Katie-Anne? Is everything okay?” he asked worriedly. “I was just giving you a hard time, kitten. We wouldn’t force you to do something you weren’t ready for. When we have some time, we need to have a nice long talk about your limits before we fuck that sexy body of yours.”
Katie-Anne blinked. “What? Huh?”
“You know what Shane and I like,” he remarked. “It is not vanilla sex.”
She shivered again, a chill meandering down her spine slowly. “Me either.”
“I know,” he said smugly. “You’re all sub.”
Katie-Anne huffed indignantly. “I am not all sub. I have never even had a sexual relationship with a real Dom.”
“I think you are far more submissive than you realize. You carry your confidence around you like a cloak, but I know better. You are a beautiful, vulnerable woman who refuses to let down her walls.” He brushed his calloused fingertips across her cheek. “And, if you won’t lower those damn walls, I will scale them. You don’t have to open up to everyone, and I wouldn’t expect you to. Kitten, you are not that kind of person, but you won’t keep me or Shane out.”
Her chest tightened. Those words were so perfect, so beautiful. He always knew what to say to her, what to do. Cupping his strong jaw in her hand, she whispered, “Thank you,” then lifted her head from the cool, leather bench of the Jeep and kissed him.
He kissed her back, taking over the kiss and dominating her mouth in the sweetest way possible. She waited for him to deepen the kiss. And she waited. And she waited some more. He didn’t do a damn thing. He kept the kiss intense but gentle in some indescribable way.
The kiss went on and on, and she never wanted it to stop. Yet it did when Landon tore his lips from hers with a groan. “You are distracting me, kitten. We came out here to talk, and I can’t seem to do that, especially not with your soft, lush body under mine.”
“You’re the one who put me here,” she reminded him cheekily.
“That I did,” he agreed with a quick kiss to her nose, “and I would do it again.” He pecked another kiss to the bottom tip of her nose. “But we have to talk now.”
Lifting himself up and off her body, he moved away from her. He stopped just outside the Jeep and helped her up. Pivoting her hips with his large hands, he moved her into the proper, upright position. With one
more fleeting kiss, he was gone and the door shut behind him.
She watched him jog around the Jeep, enjoying the way his big, lean body moved with a sensual yet very masculine grace. He looked like a black panther on the prowl.
Flinging the front door open, Landon jumped inside the off-road SUV then twisted his upper body to face her in the back seat. “I just realized that we probably ought to head somewhere else.” He inclined his head pointedly toward the people coming and going by the Jeep. “If we hang out here, everyone will be constantly interrupting us, and I don’t think we want that.”
Shit. “I didn’t think about that,” she muttered. “Why don’t we run over to Dewey’s Drive-in Theater? He never locks the gates, and it’ll be deserted at this time of day.”
“Sounds like a plan to me,” Landon said. Turning back around, he inserted the key into the ignition and started the Jeep. As it flared to life, a deep, heavy rumble came from beneath the hood. Predictably, a proud grin lit up his face and a twinkle appeared in his blue eyes. Reaching out, he patted the dashboard with his big hand. Only he would love a damn SUV this much. Then again, look at Jaycee and her Mustang. I just don’t get it. It has four wheels, and it moves. Big flipping deal.
Observing his lust for his Jeep, she laughed out loud. When he glanced over his shoulder and winked, she realized that she was still in the back seat—alone. “Wait,” she screeched. “I want shotgun.”
Landon chuckled. “No Driving Miss Katie for you?”
“No,” she countered with a roll of her eyes. Hopping out of the back seat, she closed the rear door before immediately opening the front and jumping inside. She buckled her seatbelt swiftly then joked, “Let’s ride, Clyde.”
“All right,” Landon said. Chuckling again, he put the SUV into gear and took off. Several minutes ticked by of total silence, neither of them willing to break it. Finally, Landon spoke up. “It’s time to start talking, kitten. What’s going on?”
