by Darcia Helle
“Great,” Lauren muttered. “That makes me feel much better.”
“He can’t kill me now. Too many people would question it. I think that’s why I only got the shit kicked out of me today.”
“Now that’s comforting.”
Jesse drew Lauren closer. His lips covered hers. Lauren sank into the warmth of his embrace. Her body relaxed, as his tongue found hers. His hand traveled over her body, leaving a tingling trail behind.
Lauren suddenly pulled away. She kept imagining Jesse lying in that alley. What if there is a next time? What if he isn’t so lucky? “There has to be something I can do,” she said. “I still think I should talk to him.”
“I think we should make love,” Jesse said.
“I’m serious.”
“So am I.”
“Jesse, I’m worried. I have to help somehow.”
Jesse sighed. “What do you plan on saying to him that could possibly make a difference this time?”
“I don’t know.”
Jesse’s tongue traced a path across Lauren’s neck. “Let it go,” he murmured.
“But look what he’s done to you.”
“Make love to me.”
Lauren grew warmer as Jesse’s fingers slid beneath her shirt and grazed her stomach. “Jesse…”
He took her hand and led her to the bedroom. She gave in easily, surrendering herself to the pleasure. They made slow, impassioned love. All her worries disappeared with his touch.
“Mom, where are you?” Lauren called. She strode through the living room. “Mom?”
Kara came down the hall. Her eyes were streaked with tears. “Hi honey.”
“What’s wrong?”
Kara choked back a sob. “I’m glad you came by.”
“Are you okay?”
“Can you stay awhile? I’ll make fresh coffee.”
“Sure.” Lauren followed her mother into the kitchen. Her mind swarmed with possibilities. One thing stuck in her mind. What if her father had died? “Is dad okay?” she asked.
“He’s coming home tomorrow.”
“Oh. Then why are you crying.”
Kara poured water into the coffeemaker. “I was horrible to you the other day,” she said. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay, Mom.”
“No, it’s not.” Kara motioned to the table. “Let’s sit down.” She dabbed her eyes with a tissue. “I don’t know what came over me. I was feeling… guilty, I suppose.”
“Guilty about what?”
“Your father.”
“Why would you feel guilty?’
Kara looked away. She stared unblinking into the empty air. The gurgling of the coffeemaker was the only sound. “What’s going on?” Lauren asked.
Kara’s voice was almost a whisper when she answered. “I’ve been afraid of your father for a very long time.”
“I know.”
“It’s hard to believe he’s the same man I fell in love with. Although I probably chose not to see the truth, even way back at the beginning. He was always dominating, controlling. Yet, never would I have imagined it would turn out this way.”
“It’s not your fault,” Lauren said.
“I wanted to get married. I wanted a family and a perfect life in the suburbs. I wanted all the things I didn’t have as a child. Who was I kidding?”
“There’s nothing wrong with wanting those things.”
“I should have left him years ago,” Kara said. “But the longer I stayed, the harder it became.”
“It’s never too late.”
Kara shook her head. She got up and poured two cups of coffee. “How are things with Jesse?” she asked.
“Fine.”
“He’s good to you?”
“Better than good.”
Kara offered a sad smile. “I’m happy for you.”
“What’s wrong, Mom? If you’ve been afraid to leave, now is the perfect time.”
“I’ve done something awful,” Kara said.
“What are you talking about?”
“I didn’t want to have to tell you this…”
“Whatever it is, you can tell me.”
“I know I can. But this is such a hard thing for me to talk about.”
“Take your time,” Lauren said. She fought to keep her voice even, her tone soft. Her stomach had twisted into a knot. Her mother claimed to have done something awful. Had she been the one to shoot her father? Was that why she felt guilty?
Kara took a sip of coffee. She stared down at her mug as she spoke. “About six months ago I had to attend a fundraising dinner. Your father was supposed to come. In fact, he had been the one to insist we attend. But evidently he found more interesting things to do. And someone more interesting to do it with.”
Kara wrapped her trembling hands around the coffee mug. She sucked in a long breath. “I was seated beside a man I’d never met. We got to talking and for some reason…”
“You ended up having sex with him?” Lauren said.
Kara blanched. “I had never cheated on your father. But I was so lonely. And Marc was there to listen. I don’t know why I trusted him so completely. We connected in a way I’d never experienced. It just felt right.”
Lauren smiled. “I understand. Did you have a relationship or was it only that one night?”
Kara’s eyes remained fixed on her mug. “We became friends at first. Just friends. He was so easy to be with. I told him everything about my life with your father.”
“And?”
“We fell in love.”
“Do you still love him?”
“Yes.”
That explained the so-called shopping trips her mother was constantly taking these past few months. “Is he married, too?” Lauren asked.
“No.”
“Then why don’t you leave Dad and be with him?”
“I’ve tried. Every time I mention divorce, your father… he gets so angry…”
“You can’t go on like this forever,” Lauren said. “One of these days dad’s going to end up killing you. Staying with him isn’t going to solve anything.”
“I know.”
“This guy doesn’t hit you, does he?”
“Never.”
“Is he willing to help you if you leave Dad? Does he want you to?”
“Totally,” Kara said. “He has wanted me to leave your father since the first day we met.”
“So do it then. You have nothing to feel guilty about.”
“I’ve been afraid to,” Kara said. “I know your father. I know his temper. If he found out I left him for another man… I didn’t want to take that chance.”
“You think Dad would hurt Marc?”
“I’m sure he would.”
“But you can’t let him bully you into staying,” Lauren said.
“I’m afraid Marc is the one who shot your father.”
Lauren inhaled sharply. “Why do you think that?”
“He’s threatened to before,” Kara said softly. “He hates Alex. He hates what he’s done to me… to all of us.”
Suddenly Lauren saw her mother differently. What a family they were. They’d always lived together, yet not one of them truly understood or even knew the others. The well-practiced façade had fooled even those closest to them. Their family, their friends… enemies and playmates.
Lauren sipped her coffee, giving herself time to digest it all. After a moment, she said, “Have you asked Marc if he did it?”
“No,” Kara replied. “In all the commotion, I haven’t been able to speak to him very long. He’s away on business. And I wasn’t ready to hear what the answer might have been.”
“Do you really love this guy?”
“Oh yes.”
“And he loves you?”
“Yes.”
Lauren reached across the table and squeezed her mother’s hand. She said, “Then leave Dad and go be with him.”
“But what if Marc was the one…”
“Then he needs better aim.�
�
Kara smiled, despite the tears filling her eyes. “Wouldn’t that bother you?”
“No.”
Kara took a deep breath and wiped away another tear. “I guess things have been a lot worse around here than I let myself believe. If you truly feel that way -”
The ringing of a phone stole the words from Kara’s mouth. She hesitated before reaching for her cell phone. She answered and a wide smile quickly appeared on her face. “I’ve missed you too, Marc,” she said.
Lauren wandered out of the room, allowing her mother privacy. Her mother was actually having an affair. She’d never suspected it, though it made perfect sense. Lauren hoped her mother would find the courage she needed to finally leave her father.
She was astonished that her father hadn’t caught on to the affair. But this past year or so he was rarely home long enough to change his clothes. His focus had certainly not been on family.
Her mother had to find the courage to leave. And her father certainly wouldn’t make it easy. To the contrary, he would threaten her mother with everything possible. His almighty image, his precious reputation, would be at stake. He wouldn’t want people to think he hadn’t been the perfect husband. He wouldn’t want her mother to be free of his control. Free to talk.
He would definitely forbid a divorce. How far would he go to get his way?
Lauren ran her fingers across the framed portrait of her parents on their wedding day. They looked so happy. At first glance, her father appeared a gentler man. Yet, when she looked closely, she could see that coldness lurking deep in those steel blue eyes.
She stepped into the den. Her father’s desk, with all his mail stacked neatly, awaited his return. His work was everything to him. Being the best at what he did, the most important, the most powerful, that was what he truly cared about. And, of course, control.
“Marc had nothing to do with it,” Kara said.
Lauren spun around. “Do you feel better now?” she said.
“Yes.” Kara sank into the recliner. “He said that if he’d been the one shooting, Alex would be six feet under right now.”
Lauren chuckled. At the same time, it struck her odd that she could laugh about her father’s fate.
“I didn’t want Marc to be the one,” Kara said. “Even though I would have understood why he’d want to.”
“I know.”
“I would have felt responsible.”
“A lot of people out there have good reason to go after Dad.”
“I realize that.” Kara met Lauren’s eyes. “I’m going to tell your father I want a divorce. And this time I’m going to stand my ground.”
“Why don’t you leave now?” Lauren said.
“Because he’ll come after me.”
“Get a restraining order.”
Kara walked to the sliding doors. Tiny snowflakes drifted to the ground. She said, “Do you know how hard that would be? He knows everyone. He’d make it a living hell for me. I’d probably be denied the restraining order and that would give him even more reason to…”
“Do you honestly want a divorce?”
“Oh yes.”
“Then you need to do this now,” Lauren said. “It doesn’t matter who he knows. By the time he can do anything about it, you’ll be long gone.”
“I’m scared.”
“I know you are. But this is your chance. He’s in the hospital and can’t hurt you now.”
“You’re right.”
“Then let’s go pack your stuff,” Lauren said. “I’ll help you get that restraining order today.”
Kara hesitated. “I can’t believe I’m terrified of the same man I once loved with all my heart.”
“He’s not the same man.”
Kara nodded. “You’re sure Jesse treats you well?”
A big smile graced Lauren’s face. “He’s absolutely wonderful.”
“Don’t ever tolerate less.”
“I won’t.”
“Not even once, no matter what the excuse.”
Upstairs, they worked together packing Kara’s things. “What about tomorrow?” Kara suddenly asked. “Your father is expecting me to pick him up at the hospital. If I leave him hanging, he’ll be embarrassed and that will only add to his fury.”
“I’ll pick him up.”
“No, I don’t want you in the middle of this.”
“I’ve always been in the middle,” Lauren said. “This will actually make me happy. Don’t worry.”
“I can’t help but worry.”
“I’ll be fine,” Lauren said. “I’ll drop him off here and be on my way.”
Kara sat on the edge of the bed with an armful of sweaters. “I wish I’d had the courage to leave him years ago. Maybe Stephen would still be alive.”
“You can’t keep blaming yourself for what happened to Stephen.”
“I can’t help but think he sacrificed his life for me,” Kara said. “I was so afraid your father would hurt us if we left that I didn’t realize how much damage he did by my staying.”
Lauren sat beside her mother. They hugged and shared a few tears. Lauren said, “I’ll pick Dad up. Write him a note and leave it on the bed. He’ll find it after I drop him off.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
“I don’t want you here alone with him when he finds out.”
“I won’t even come inside,” Lauren said.
“I suppose that would be all right.”
Lauren grabbed another suitcase. “Call Marc and tell him you’ll be there soon. Maybe we’ll even pick up some wine and celebrate.”
Kara smiled through her tears. “That sounds wonderful.”
“There has to be a way around this,” Alex said. He sat on his hospital bed, his silk robe draped over matching pajamas. He’d refused to wear the generic hospital gown that countless others had worn before him. He glared at Captain James Barnes, the lone visitor in his private room. “I want him locked up.”
Barnes sat on a chair beside the bed, his legs crossed, his dark eyes fixed on Alex. While his voice remained calm and controlled, his chronically jiggling foot betrayed his nerves. He said, “My hands are tied, Alex. Ryder has a solid alibi.”
“Use your imagination,” Alex said. “Punch a few holes in the alibi.”
“I can’t. Too many people saw him at the gym and will swear to the time. One of them happens to be a cop.”
“He could have hired the shooter,” Alex said. “Look into his finances. Make something stick.”
“You think that’s what happened?”
“I’m not looking for reality. I need Ryder out of the way, his reputation and credibility destroyed. I would prefer this be done without leaving me vulnerable to an investigation. Putting Ryder behind bars has become a viable temporary solution.”
“You know I’ll do all I can.”
“Of course. Your ass is on the line here as well.”
Barnes looked down at his shoes. He said, “The investigation is moving away from Ryder.”
“Move it back,” Alex said. “I want Ryder’s picture on the news. Let the public believe he is guilty. He’ll be convicted before he stands trial.”
“And the real shooter?” Barnes asked. “If we focus the investigation on Ryder, the real shooter remains free. Anonymous. You don’t seem concerned about that.”
“You will continue a quiet parallel investigation,” Alex said. “I will do the same. Whoever did this will not remain free to roam the planet.”
Alex picked up his glass of cranberry juice. He glared at Barnes over the rim. “Frankly, I have grown weary of the irritations and incompetence surrounding me these days. I am far from alone in my vulnerability if things go wrong. Do we understand one another?”
“Absolutely,” Barnes replied.
25
“You’re not going alone,” Jesse said.
“Well you can’t come with me,” Lauren replied. “If I show up at the hospital with you, he’ll go nuts.”
>
Jesse paced across the living room. “I don’t care. You aren’t doing this alone.”
“What do you want me to do?”
“Send a cab to pick him up.”
Lauren laughed. “Can you imagine? He’d have a fit if a cab showed up to bring him home.”
“What do you care? You don’t owe him anything.”
“I know that.”
“Then don’t go.”
“I’m not doing this for him,” Lauren said. “I’m doing it for my mom.”
“I don’t like it,” Jesse said. “I’m sure your mother would understand. Just send a cab.”
“I can’t. Besides, this will give me the opportunity to talk to him.”
“Lauren -”
“I have to, Jesse.”
Jesse collapsed on the couch beside Lauren. “You drive me insane,” he said.
“I know.”
“If you insist on going, let me come.”
“No.”
Jesse pulled Lauren on top of him. He wrapped his arms around her, kissing her lips. “Let me go with you,” he murmured.
Lauren wriggled but couldn’t free herself. She laughed at her defeat and melted into his arms. “I love you but no.”
“Then I’ll just have to do things my way.”
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing,” Jesse said.
“I don’t want you doing anything crazy.”
“Fine.”
Lauren frowned. “Don’t give me that. What are you planning?”
“Nothing. You win. How much time have we got?”
“What?”
“What time do you have to be at the hospital?”
“About eleven. Why?”
Jesse checked his watch. He grinned and said, “It’s only nine.”
“And?”
“We’ve got time to kill.”
“I thought you had work to do,” Lauren said.
“Yeah, well…”
Lauren ran her tongue playfully along Jesse’s ear. “Promise me you won’t show up at the hospital.”
Jesse averted Lauren’s gaze. He smiled but said nothing. Lauren said, “Promise me or I may suddenly find myself pressed for time.”
“Now that’s playing dirty.”
“Promise.”
“I promise.”
