by Lucy Score
Phone calls with her parents were like a lopsided tennis match and she knew her mom was going to serve up an ace here. Joey silently willed her mother to get to the point.
“We were hoping you could come out Sunday for Isaac’s birthday.”
The last thing Joey wanted to do on her one day off was drive an hour one-way to watch her two-year-old nephew pick his nose and smash his face in a fire truck cake that tasted like paste.
“Uh-huh,” Joey said, her tone noncommittal.
“If you’re busy,” her mom continued, “we’ll just have to bring the party to you. Rosemarie would be devastated if you missed Isaac’s birthday.”
Joey and her sister exchanged the equivalent of one email a month and made small talk at family gatherings. The only devastation if Joey didn’t attend the birthday party would be on the part of her parents. It wasn’t that they didn’t get along. It was that they had absolutely nothing in common. Rosemarie was up to her eyeballs in diapers and repainting her kitchen. Joey was buried in vet appointments and researching a new horse trailer.
“I guess I can make it,” Joey said, mentally kissing her quiet day of trashy novel reading and baking good-bye.
“Good,” her father said gruffly. “Family first, I always say.”
And the Pierces weren’t family. Joey got his message loud and clear.
By the time she hung up, she had just enough time to rinse off and head up to the brewery. But still she couldn’t force herself away from the fireplace. The more she thought about it, the less enthusiastic she felt about going up for the pre-party party.
It was a family thing. And, as often as Joey let herself get sucked into Pierce family gatherings, maybe it was important to start remembering that she wasn’t one of them.
* * *
When Joey didn’t show up to the brewery with the rest of the family, Jax started to worry. He’d even held off on the toast, just in case she was running late. When he texted her to see where the hell she was, her response took him from worried to pissed.
Be there later.
Didn’t she realize that all of this was for her? She should be here, holding a glass with the rest of the family. But Joey couldn’t be bothered to show up for it.
She should be here, nervous and excited like everyone else. He glared out the window in the direction of her house, the dozens of cars that were lining up in the parking lot meant nothing without that cherry red pick-up.
He turned away from the windows, a dark cloud hanging over the festivities. He had work to do, but talking some sense into Joey would be at the top of his list.
By the time she waltzed in at six, Jax had moved beyond pissed to fucking irate. The woman was born to make him insane. She came in the door behind Dr. Delvecchio and Mrs. Nordemann. Her hair was long and loose. Jeans that went on for days hugged her slim curves. Knee-high boots in a gray suede matched her soft, off-the-shoulder sweater. Her cheeks were rosy from the cold, her lips glossy.
Jax was starting to realize that no matter how long he knew her, he would always get this kick-start to his heart every time she walked in a room.
Her gaze found his in a silent connection thick with tension.
Jax ducked his head and dumped another batch of glasses into the rotating washer behind the bar. It was two-deep at the bar. Carter was helping get the food out while Mr. Mayor double-teamed the host stand with Phoebe. Summer and Gia flitted from table to table.
It was a family affair. The entire town—since recovered from their wedding hangovers—had turned out to help them celebrate. And it still wasn’t enough. Not without her.
“Fuck it,” Jax muttered. He stormed out from around the bar and grabbed her by the arm.
“What the hell, Jax?”
“Come with me.”
She started to wrestle out of his grip. It was yet another thing he loved about Joey, she wasn’t afraid of causing a scene. And neither was he. He dragged her down the stairs, past the kitchen, and into the taproom.
“What is your problem?” she demanded, wrenching free.
“My problem is you. Where the hell were you? You were supposed to be here early.”
“That was a family thing.”
“You’re family.”
“No, I’m not! And if I were, that would make what we did in high school illegal,” she shot back.
“I wanted you here,” Jax said, pacing now. Why couldn’t she see it?
“Oh for fuck’s sake. Why didn’t you just say so? I’m not family, Jax. I’m not going to show up for every freaking Pierce occasion.”
“You damn well should have showed up for this,” he said, his voice grim.
“Why?”
“Because it’s for you,” he exploded. “It’s all for you. I came back for you.”
Well, that shut her up. She was gaping at him like a fish on the line before she let out a noise somewhere between a screech and a growl. “You drive me insane!” She threw her hands up in the air.
“Right back at ya, Jojo.”
She crossed her arms and kicked at a keg. “Why do you want to be with me?”
Jax stopped and stared at her. “Why?” he laughed. “You seriously don’t know?”
Joey just stared at him.
“Joey, I love you. There hasn’t been a time in my life when I haven’t loved you.”
She was staring at him, her expression unreadable.
“Say something,” he said quietly.
“I don’t think we know what love is,” she said finally.
“How can you even say that?” He shoved his hands through his hair.
“You hurt me, Jax.”
He stared at the floor, shoved his hands in his pockets. The guilt clawed at him. “I know I did. I was reckless and careless and you got hurt. I can still see you in that car.”
“In the car?” I’m not talking about the accident, you idiot. I’m talking about you leaving.”
“I almost killed you!” His voice echoed off the metal of the kegs.
“Oh, sweet Jesus. A deer almost killed me. You almost destroyed me when you left without a word.”
“The accident—”
“Was an accident,” she said, enunciating each word like he was an annoying toddler. “You leaving was on purpose. And I don’t know how to forgive that.”
“You have to.” She did. There was no way around it. Joey had to forgive him so she might as well accept it.
“Maybe it would go a little better if you’d at least, oh I don’t know, apologize?”
Jax cringed. “I don’t know how,” he said the words quietly. “How do I say I’m sorry for something that big? You almost died because of me.”
“Are you not listening?” Joey threw her hands up as if she was appealing to a higher power. “You don’t owe me an apology for the accident. You owe me an apology for abandoning me. How am I supposed to move past that if you won’t tell me why you did it?”
“Because I hurt you!” he shouted.
“I’m about to hurt you,” she yelled back. “Get it through your thick, stupid skull. Until you can make me understand why you felt like you had to disappear without a word, or a call, or an email for eight years, there is no chance for us. Now, I’m going back upstairs to have a beer.”
She stormed out, the slim heels of her boots clicking on the concrete floor.
She was right and Jax knew it. But he also knew the answers would only push her further away.
4
“I need you and your house,” Gia announced, hovering over Joey’s head as she lay in a puddle of her own sweat on a borrowed yoga mat. Joey’s head lolled to the side. A chipper Summer was sitting cross-legged and staring at her expectantly. The rest of the yoga studio was empty except for Gia’s sisters. Emma was frantically typing away on her smart phone while Eva lounged on her mat staring out the front window.
Summer had dragged her along to class again. Joey had to admit, it wasn’t awful. Especially not after spending the morning wrestlin
g horses for vaccinations with the vet. Gia’s class had helped work the kinks out. Plus, it gave her the perfect excuse to avoid the two dozen red roses and apology card from Jax that arrived at the stables from Every Bloomin’ Thing.
They had tangled at the brewery the night before, but it felt good to finally say a few of the things that had been running laps in her mind for the past several years. She hadn’t actually expected him to apologize.
Joey could only imagine the Blue Moon gossip mill warming up with this little tidbit. Anthony Berkowicz, editor of The Monthly Moon, would be knocking at her door asking for a copy of their wedding announcement.
“Why do you need me and my house? You haven’t murdered your husband and need help with the body already, have you?”
“No, but if he pulls the whole ‘I took care of your cellphone bill because I thought you forgot’ thing again I may maim him,” Gia winked.
“Did you forget?” Joey asked.
“Well, yeah, but Beckett didn’t know that. I would have remembered eventually. I have a reminder in my phone.”
Summer snickered. “Ah, the joys of married life.”
“Said the experienced wife,” Gia quipped.
“I’ve got a month on you. I’d be happy to tutor you on the ins and outs of marriage,” Summer offered.
“Back to needing my house,” Joey shoved the conversation back on course.
“I was thinking girls night in. Tomorrow’s my sisters’ last night in town and your place is the only one not crawling in children and men.”
Oh goodie. More socializing. Joey sighed and flopped back down on her mat.
“C’mon. Please?” Gia loomed over her batting her long lashes at Joey.
“I don’t have the genitalia that look works on.”
“Beckett and I are leaving on our honeymoon soon. It might be our last chance to hang out,” Gia said, with a sad puppy face.
“Crap,” Joey sighed.
“I’m so pregnant the twins could get here at any time and you may never see me again until their high school graduation.” Summer leaned in and gave her best pleading face.
Eva and Emma popped into her line of sight looking hopeful.
“Ugh, fine,” Joey said, sitting up. “But I’m not cooking and it can’t be before seven. I have a lesson.”
The celebratory cheers brought Aurora out of the smaller studio where she’d been entertaining herself with a tablet, four of her favorite stuffed animals, and strict instructions not to come out until after class was over.
“Can I come out now, Mama?” the little redhead asked in a five-year-old’s whisper.
“All done, kiddo,” Gia held her arms open and Aurora rushed into them. The little girl gave her mom a noisy kiss before flopping down in Joey’s lap.
“Hi, Joey,” Aurora said, smashing the blue bear she held into Joey’s face. “’Dis my bear.”
Joey spit the blue fur out of her mouth. “Nice. Does your bear have a name?”
“Mr. Fur Face.”
“Well, that’s accurate,” Joey said wryly.
“Can I come to your party, Joey?”
Joey looked at Gia for guidance. “Uh, sure?”
Aurora bounced out of Joey’s lap and exploded across the studio. “Woo! I love parties!” She paused mid-spin with Mr. Fur Face. “Can I have cake?”
Again, Gia and Summer were no help. “Um, okay?” Great. Now she had to bake a cake in addition to scrubbing the toilets and dusting.
Aurora was celebrating again, doing somersaults on Gia’s mat while chanting “cake.”
“Aurora, you can come for cake, but then Beckett is going to take you home.”
“Cake! Cake! Cake!”
Gia rolled her eyes. “I swear this kid would build a house out of sugar if we let her. I’ll have Beckett come get her after his errand with Jax.”
“I wonder what they’re up to?” Summer mused. “Carter said he’s helping Jax with something tomorrow, too. I’m suspicious.”
“Well, whatever it is, it’s probably better that we don’t know,” Gia sighed.
Joey wasn’t so sure.
* * *
She baked a cake.
And since she already had all of her baking weapons out, Joey made three-dozen peanut butter cookies with chocolate chunks and two loaves of rosemary olive oil bread.
Baking was her yoga. The step-by-step process, the measuring, the transformation of simple ingredients into edible art. It calmed her, cleared her mind, and fed her carb obsession.
She stared at the cooling cookies. They were Jax’s favorite and as a kid, once she realized that, she always made sure to set aside a bag just for him. She bit her lip, considered. What harm would setting aside one baggie do? It would be her secret stash in case the girls inhaled the rest of them. Or she could save them and give them to Jax.
Their fight at the brewery played in her head on a constant loop. And so had the feelings that it had dredged up. She’d gotten so used to her simmering animosity and unavoidable, uncontrollable physical attraction. But she’d forgotten about all the other long-buried feelings associated with Jackson Pierce.
It’s all for you. I came back for you.
His words, earnest and angry, rolled through her head.
What the hell had changed? And why now? She’d spent the last eight years moving on, building a safe, manageable life. Sure, she’d refused on principle to watch any of the movies he’d written. She’d done her best to put Jax out of her head and heart. Of course, she’d slipped a few times over the years and did a little online research. He’d certainly moved on, many times over. A different woman on his arm at every event.
She bit violently into a cookie, remembering the blonde with the watermelon-sized rack.
The idea that he’d come back for her was…unsettling, confusing.
They’d gone eight years without contact. When he came home for sporadic, infrequent visits, she made herself scarce. And that included John Pierce’s funeral. Joey’s father had taken her decision not to attend the services as a sign that she’d finally gotten over it all.
What her father didn’t know was that while everyone else in town was at the funeral, Joey snuck into the farmhouse and cleaned it from top to bottom leaving behind a few million calories of baked goods to help feed the flood of visitors that Phoebe would face in the following days.
But things were different, now. Phoebe was happily engaged to the charming Franklin. Carter and Summer had made the farmhouse their home. And Jax was back, professing the things that her heart had yearned for years ago. But it was too late.
Wasn’t it?
Too little, too late. And without answers to her whys, there was no altering her course. Her heart would remain closed where Jax was concerned, she decided, even as she bagged up four cookies and tucked them away.
Joey took one last sip of precious coffee and willed herself to put him out of her head. She shrugged into her down field jacket and stomped off to the barn to focus on her Wednesday night lesson. This was her more intermediate group. Six of them, each with their own care horse. They were still young enough to enjoy the easy repetition of grooming and tacking up.
“Nice seat, Alesha,” she called out to a lanky girl with braces and pink jodhpurs. Their neat little circle trotted around the indoor ring, inches of sawdust muffling the hoof beats.
Evan, Gia’s son, posted nicely on the ten-year-old bay, Tucker. “Okay, Evan, switch over to a canter and lead off a figure eight,” Joey ordered.
Beneath his riding helmet, she saw the spark in his brown eyes. He’d started lessons just two months earlier and was clearly a natural.
Colby, one of the helpers she shared with Carter and the farm, sauntered up. “Kid looks good,” he said, nodding at Evan. He took his hat off and shoved his hand through his corn silk hair.
“Picking it up fast,” she agreed. “Watch your hands, Aliya.”
The girl on the strawberry roan corrected her grip on the reins and earned a no
d from Joey as she passed.
Joey patted Colby on the shoulder and let him take over the instruction. She wandered over to the edge of the ring, ran her hand over a hoof-sized ding in the wall. Romeo had been feeling spunky when he decided to kick the shit out of the boards.
She took a deep breath of horses and sawdust. The creak of the saddles, the occasional giggle from the kids. It was all home to her. Home and heaven.
God, she loved this place. Even the long days, the never-ending maintenance. Maybe especially them? When she committed to something, it was whole-heartedly. And she found a steady, comforting peace in the chipping away at the daily list of chores.
This time of year, while the farm lay dormant, Joey did her planning. She had more hands available to her with Carter and his crew of part-time help.
She’d grown this operation from six horses and twice weekly lessons to thirty mounts and a comprehensive equestrian program for all levels of ability. They had two beefy Clydesdales that pulled Santa’s wagon in the Christmas parade. She was a certified therapeutic riding instructor and taught weekly group classes for a handful of students with physical and mental challenges. And their regular weekly class schedule was bursting at the seams.
She had plans. It was time to think about the next step. A breeding program. They had a few solid mares. The next step would be to find the right stud. She’d start small, build a solid program, and expand selectively.
It would mean more equipment, more hands, more damn paperwork. But it was a smart move and if the stock was good enough, the profits would be pretty freaking great.
She’d started a proposal to give to Carter with projections and timelines. Started it, but hadn’t finished it. She wanted to do some research into studs first before she sprung it on him. It was harder for the man to say no to deep brown animal eyes. And if he dragged his feet, she was prepared to call in the big guns—Summer.
It wasn’t that Carter had ever actually said no. He was smart enough to know that she knew what she was doing. But that didn’t stop Joey from dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s. She knew Carter liked to have all the information at his fingertips, mainly so he could dump it all off on Beckett’s desk when his brother asked too many questions.
