“Why?” His grip tightened. “You’ve already put on one show tonight. They don’t need another one.”
Ouch. Siobhan knew she deserved Charlie’s scorn, but his words still hurt. “I didn’t do it for them. I did it for you.”
“For me.” He put space between them, his expression and tone rigid. “When we talked about me coming to watch you dance tonight, I thought it meant that you were ready to make our relationship official.”
“Relationship?” Her voice squeaked. “Official?”
“Isn’t that what this was about? Making this our first public appearance as a couple?”
“No.” The thought made her lightheaded with panic. “No, I wasn’t thinking relationship.”
“Obviously.” His lips twisted. “You can’t even say it without freaking out. What were you thinking then? That this was the perfect time to show off your boy toy?”
She blanched. “I don’t think of you that way. I haven’t thought about our age difference in a long time. I just thought we were having a fling. That’s all.”
“A fling? I see.” His expression closed. “Look, if this is only about sex for you, that’s fine. We can keep it strictly physical. You just need to let me know. But if that’s all this is, Siobhan, don’t expect me to want to hang out with your friends when we could be at home fucking instead.”
She sucked in a breath as the sharp edge of his words stabbed her deep. It would have been easy to get upset, to throw angry words back at him. But she’d created this crappy situation, and she was the one who needed to fix it.
“Charlie, I’m sorry,” she blurted out. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. It’s just—I suck at relationships. I married my high school boyfriend. We got divorced five years ago and I’ve spent the last four years making the café a success. That’s the extent of my relationship history.”
Some of the tightness around his eyes loosened. “So you’re saying you’re inexperienced at the whole dating thing?”
“Yes,” she answered, adding a nod. “I think it’s safe to say that you’re better at it than I am.”
His lips quirked, but she wasn’t sure if it was from humor or not. “That’s a given.”
She waited but he didn’t say anything else as the crowd thinned around them. “Since all of this is still new for me, don’t you think it makes sense for us to focus on enjoying each other’s company and not worry about the other stuff for a while?”
He tilted his head, his gaze steady as he regarded her. “Want to know what I think?”
Tension ramped up inside her. “I’m almost scared to ask, but tell me anyway.”
“I think you should kiss me again.” He stepped closer, gathered her hands and lifted them up to rest on his shoulders. “Ready when you are, Ms. Malloy.”
Unsure of whether he’d forgiven her but relieved to move past their earlier difficulty, Siobhan reached up to kiss him, a tentative brush of lips. That wasn’t enough for Charlie.
He switched his hold to her waist then slanted his mouth over hers, claiming her and demanding a response. Respond she did, her arms curling around his neck, her body pressing closer to his. A whimper of sound escaped her as his tongue danced with hers, making her forget where she was, that her friends were waiting. All that mattered was this man and the fire he ignited low in her belly with just one kiss.
Charlie pulled back from her, his breathing harsh as he rested his forehead against hers. “I don’t want you to think I’m fetishizing you,” he said in her ear, his hand dropping low on her waist, tingling the base of her spine. “But if you want to focus on the physical, fine. I have to admit that seeing you in this outfit is blowing my mind. I have a powerful urge to find the nearest dark corner and snap open the back of your skirt just enough to bend you over and slide my cock home.”
“Charlie.” She glanced around the club, but no one paid them any heed.
“Are you wearing the garter and stockings?”
“Yes. It’s black lace.”
“And are you wearing panties?”
“No.” Her voice was barely a whisper. “But neither Tatas or Down Below have dark corners.”
“I said I had the urge, not that I would act on it. I still have a little self-control.” His lips skimmed the underside of her jaw, sending shivers coursing along her skin. “We can stay here and dry-hump each other while everyone else dances around us. Or we can race each other to your house. Last one to arrive has to come last.”
She blew out a shaky breath. “You like coming last.”
“What can I say? I like the feel of your pussy gripping me after you’ve come a couple of times. But then, I like your pussy no matter what.” His hand slid down between them, but the tightness of her skirt prevented him from cupping her mound. “Shall we go get naked?”
She licked her lips, lust on the tip of her tongue as she swayed, caught between the beat and his heat. “Yes, please.”
* * *
Charlie gave her exactly what she wanted, and it sucked.
Siobhan sighed as she slowly came down from another orgasmic high. In the weeks following the tensions at Club Tatas, she and Charlie had focused on keeping things easy and carefree between them. It worked, and they filled their days with one pleasure after another. Well, not days exactly. More like stolen hours here and there during the week. Plenty of afternoon delights but no nights, no weekends. No invitations to spend time at his place. He’d come over, make her see stars, then leave her body satisfied but her emotions in tatters.
It didn’t bother her at first. How could it? Flings didn’t include plans for picnics or lazy Sunday afternoons, dinner dates or cuddling in front of the TV. Those were things people in relationships did, and she hadn’t wanted a relationship. She hadn’t minded until she’d suggested he stay for breakfast and head to work from her house. He’d had a perfectly plausible reason for declining that night, and the next and the one after that, but the excuses were beginning to wear thin. It was enough to make her wonder if he’d agreed to fling status so readily because he couldn’t give her more even if she’d wanted it.
He slid off the bed to search for his pants. “I have to go.”
“Of course you do. You say that every night.” She glanced at her alarm clock. “Within thirty minutes of sex, you’re headed for the door. Every time, no matter what time it is.”
“Believe me, I wish I could stay.” He shoved his way into his pants. “There’s no greater temptation than the feel of your sexy body pressed against me. I want to stay, I really do. I can’t.”
“Why?” She sat up, afterglow fading. “We’ve been seeing each other for two months, Charlie, and you haven’t stayed over once. Sure, it’s the middle of the week now, but you don’t even try to stay over on weekends. Why is that?”
He fastened his pants with short, sharp movements. “You told me that this is what you wanted. Something light and casual, no plans, no demands. I thought flings were about satisfying the demands of our bodies.” His gaze raked her. “You look thoroughly satisfied to me.”
She slid out of bed, reaching for her robe. “I didn’t take you for the passive-aggressive type.”
“What other type can I be when I have no idea what you want from me?” He threw his arms wide. “Do you have any idea what you want?”
She thought she knew what she wanted, but it seemed to change with each heartbeat. When he was with her she wanted time to slow so she could savor each moment. When they were apart she wanted time to speed up so that she could be with him again, be with him and away from the doubts that made her question herself. Question him.
“I know I don’t want to fight.” She shook her head, wishing she could reach for anger, but all she felt was confusion and something hovering close to hurt. “I want you, Charlie. I want more time with you, but I’m not sure it matters that I’ve changed my mind. You obviously need to get home to . . . something or someone, even though you said there’s no one else. It’s getting harder to accept that
, to believe that. I’m many things, Charlie, but I’m not delusional. I’m not a home wrecker either.”
“Siobhan.” He stalked around the side of the bed, grabbing her shoulders. “I’m not seeing anyone else.”
“All right.” She didn’t believe him. How could she believe him? A young stud who looked as hot as Charlie did, who owned his own business, was a prime catch. He could have his pick of women of any age. He didn’t act like a man who needed to be discreet because he had someone waiting at home, but why else did he not want to stay over? “If you say so, I have no choice but believe you, right?”
His voice was a growl of warning. “Siobhan—”
“What?” A flash of anger sparked inside her. “I think it’s a reasonable expectation to want my boyfriend to stay over a night or two, just as I think it’s reasonable to be curious when said boyfriend refuses to do so.”
His eyes glittered. “Now you want to call me your boyfriend?”
Her heart pounded against her breastbone, and not because of their sexual exertion. “I’m trying, Charlie. And you’re evading.”
“I’m not sneaking around.” Sudden anger hardened his expression. “Just because I can’t stay doesn’t mean I’m going off to be with someone else.”
He didn’t have the right to get angry about her questioning him. “What does it mean, then?”
He clenched his jaw. Whatever his reason, it was something he didn’t want to share. That had to mean it was something he was sure she wouldn’t be happy hearing.
She swallowed down a shot of pain. “See? This is why we should dial this back. I won’t make any claims on you. We’ll be friends with an amazing list of benefits, and not worry about what each other is doing when we’re not together. As long as we keep being safe—”
Breath escaped her lungs as she found herself jerked against the hard planes of his chest. She had just enough time to draw a breath before his mouth crashed down on hers. He gripped a handful of hair at the back of her head to hold her still for the most dominant, demanding kiss she’d ever received from him.
Something hot and fierce broke free inside her. She shoved his jeans down and fisted his cock. With a growl he tossed her back on the bed, fell on top of her, then entered her in one hard, thick stroke that had them both groaning aloud.
“I don’t know what the fuck you’re doing to me,” he ground out, resting his forehead against hers. “I’m so deep into you that I can’t think straight most days. I think I’m obsessed, because even when I’ve just had you, I want you again. I need you again. I’m always hungry for another helping of your sweetness. But you—you’re always so ready to make this a casual thing when there’s nothing casual about what’s between us.”
Flattening himself out above her, he grabbed her hips and proceeded to fuck her, fast and frenzied. She wrapped her legs high around his waist, biting at his bottom lip, urging him on. She loved it when he chose to submit to her, but this—this wild, domineering possession—had her mewling in the back of her throat as her body went liquid for him.
“No. One. Else,” he growled with each hard slap of his body against hers. “Not for you, not for me. This is mine. Mine.”
“Yes.” She sank her fingernails into his back, making her own claim. “No one else.”
He hissed in response, his eyes slitted with pleasure. “Fuck yeah, babe. Mark me up.”
He stroked into her repeatedly, making her senseless to everything but wave after wave of sublime sensation. Up and up, conscious thought unraveling, dimly aware of her nails clawing his back as she tried to hold on, tried to contain the overwhelming pressure. All too soon it boiled up from her toes, desperate for a way out. A quick and dirty orgasm slammed into her. She bit his shoulder to muffle the scream of release as she came.
His movements grew wilder, frenzied as he grabbed her wrists, holding them over her head as he held her where he wanted her, how he wanted her for the sensual onslaught. Driving, driving, driving, his gaze unfocused, face taut with strain. All at once he convulsed then stiffened against her, a tortured groan tearing from his lips as he collapsed atop her.
After a long moment he looked down at her, trembling, breath sawing harshly past his lips. Then he rolled away from her and onto his back, covering his eyes with his arm. “Shit.”
Alarm sparked inside her. Concerned, she reached out to touch his shoulder but he flinched and moved away, sitting up on the opposite side of the bed. “Charlie, what’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong?” He shoved a hand through his hair as he cursed again, looking back toward her without meeting her gaze. “We didn’t use a condom.”
“I’m protected, from pregnancy at least.” She scooted off the bed to rise to her feet, pulling her robe closed. “Do I need to go get tested for other stuff?”
A frown pulled at his features as he regained his feet, fastening his pants before reaching for his shirt. “You probably should, if only so it will ease your mind that I’m not some whore-dog dipping my dick into every available hole I can.”
She flinched. “I didn’t put it like that.”
“You didn’t have to. It’s what you’re thinking, isn’t it? You think I’m cheating on you, cheating on something you don’t even want to acknowledge as a relationship.”
Siobhan fisted her robe closed at her throat. “You’re angry.”
“Angry that you doubt me, when I’ve all but got your name tattooed on my dick.” He stepped into his shoes. “I might even be angry that this is feeling entirely lopsided. I mean, I know that this is only about sex for you, but sometimes it seems like it doesn’t matter who the guy is behind the dick as long as you get it.”
“It matters.” God damn, it fucking hurt to know she’d hurt him like this. “I swear it matters, it matters that it’s you. You, Charlie.”
She reached out, but didn’t touch him. “This intensity between us is strange and scary. I’m out of my depth here and I don’t know what to do about it. It was silly of me to think I could keep this light and only focused on sex. I want more with you, I just . . .”
She sighed, lowering her hand. “I’m not as together as you think I am.”
His hooded gaze settled on her. “You’ve got a story too.”
“Yes.”
“Is that why you’ve been fighting this? Fighting us?”
Her throat closed up, so tight that she could only give him a nod in response.
“Okay.” He crossed to her, gathering her hands to place kisses in her palms. “Okay, so we both have things we need to tell each other. There’s something I need to do first. Give me a couple of days. I’ll come pick you up, take you out to dinner. I’ll tell you what’s going on with me, and you’ll tell me what’s going on with you. We’ll clear the air, I promise. And then we’ll move forward.”
Doubt shaded his eyes. “I need to know that we’re okay, though. Are we okay right now?”
“Yes.” It wasn’t the whole truth, but it was close enough. At that moment they were as copacetic as the circumstances would allow. What she didn’t know, couldn’t predict, was where things would stand after they’d finished their talk.
TWELVE
It was time to come clean.
Acid churned in Charlie’s gut as he pulled into the garage and killed the engine. He hadn’t wanted to leave Siobhan’s side, her bed, but he had no choice. Responsibility was something he took very seriously. The consequences of not being responsible meant losing everything that mattered most, and he had no intention of being threatened with that level of loss again if he could help it. Pitting everything he held dear against a few stolen moments of pleasure . . . there was no contest.
His knuckles whitened as he gripped the steering wheel. God damn him, those moments were some of the best he’d experienced in a long time. Siobhan was everything he could want in a woman—smart, sexy, comfortable in her skin and the bedroom. She had no problem with telling him what she wanted from him in bed, and she sometimes didn’t tell him—she
just took what she wanted. Holy fuck, that was hot, and it made him want to give her whatever she wanted, whatever she needed. It didn’t mean he was pussy-whipped—he took the lead as much as she did, and she got off on it just as much. Holding her hips while she rode him was just as hot as holding her hair while he fucked her mouth.
His head thumped against the headrest as his cock thickened yet again. Siobhan tied him up in knots. He hadn’t allowed himself to want something, want someone, in years. All his desires went into achieving his goals and proving to everyone that he could do the impossible. His own pleasures and desires had been shunted aside. Before Siobhan, sexual satisfaction had been limited to hand jobs and the occasional one-night stand. He hadn’t had a real relationship since college, and that one had dried up shortly after his parents had died and his life briefly went to hell.
Now . . . now, all he could think of were Siobhan’s blue eyes blown wide with sensual overload, with orgasms that gripped his cock or his fingers so sweetly. Her soft curves revealed under his hands as he stripped her of her lingerie, her breathy moans, and the sweetest pussy he’d ever tasted. He wanted it, wanted more of it, wanted it every chance he could get it. Now that she’d finally admitted she wanted more than casual hookups from him, his chances were in jeopardy if he didn’t come clean with her.
The doubt in her eyes tore at him. He’d done everything he could think of to let her know unequivocally that he didn’t have another lover—everything except tell her the truth. His plan called for that moment of truth to arrive later since there were other hurdles they needed to jump over. What he hadn’t counted on, though, was getting so close so fast. Hadn’t counted on this intensity morphing into possessiveness, the desire to claim and take.
A cool head was what had gotten him through the hardest months of his life. Logic, methodology, planning, executing at the right time—those were the keys to a successful life and he applied those keys to every situation. Siobhan, however, wasn’t a situation. She was so much more, and he had a feeling she’d challenge every single one of his hard-earned rules if he truly wanted to claim her and keep her.
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