Sugar

by Seressia Glass

  She looked at him and immediately wished she hadn’t. Anger suffused his cheeks, the tips of his ears. “What about your daughter?” he ground out.

  “I try. I don’t succeed,” she said, the simple statement undercutting the complicated relationship Siobhan had with her daughter. God, she hated to think about this, rehash this. It only brought the pain roaring back, pain she had no defense against. “The last time we were face-to-face was two years ago when I hired her to work part-time in the café for the summer so we could spend time together. It didn’t go well and she hasn’t voluntarily spoken to me since. I attempted to see her at her graduation a few weeks ago but I wasn’t able to. I’ll still try, though. She’s my daughter and I still love her.”

  She darted a look at him. “What are you thinking?”

  “I’m too stunned to think.” He scrubbed a hand down his face. “This is a lot to take in.”

  “I know. You thought you were dating a café owner. Now you know you’re dating a café owner who used to be a pill-head and likes to strip for fun. You need to decide if you could or should expose your family to that. To me.”

  “Yes.” He looked directly at her. “Why didn’t you tell me this before now?”

  “For the same reasons you waited to tell me about your family. Once I realized this was serious, I knew I had to tell you.”

  He rubbed at his forehead. “I need some time to process it all.”

  “Of course.” Her heart sank. There was no way he’d allow her to meet his family now. Even after he thought things through, she doubted he’d want her anywhere near his siblings.

  She rose. “I guess this is as good a time as any to say good night.”

  “Yeah.” He stood and then headed for the front door, stopping to grab his jacket on the way. He opened the door then stopped, turning to her. “You do understand why I have to think about this, don’t you?”

  She straightened her shoulders. “Yes I do, and if you decide this is something you don’t want to expose your family to, I’ll understand. We’ll still be friends, and you can send someone else to wrap up the delivery portal project.”

  “Siobhan . . .”

  She leaned over to kiss his cheek. “Good night, Charlie,” she said, knowing that she meant good-bye. The way he turned and headed for his car without another word telegraphed clearly that he meant it as good-bye as well.

  FOURTEEN

  Nadia’s weekend getaway lasted until Tuesday morning, giving Siobhan plenty of time to work through her breakup with Charlie without an audience. Unfortunately, Tuesday steamrolled around, bringing not only Nadia back, but Bitch Talk as well.

  “So, Nadia,” Audie began with a knowing smirk, “how was the weekend? Anything you want to tell us?”

  “Yeah, you’ve been as jumpy as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs around here,” Siobhan added. “I thought for sure I’d come in to find you wearing a little something-something on your left hand.”

  “All of you know that if I had an engagement ring, I wouldn’t be wearing it while I’m baking,” Nadia chided. She reached into the neck of her shirt, pulled out a glittering necklace. “I’d wear it on a chain until Bitch Talk!”

  Siobhan’s heart stopped. “You’re engaged?” she asked, wanting to know for sure. “For real?”

  Nadia’s grin split her face. “Kane asked me last night. For real!”

  “Oh my God!” With a squeal of delight, Siobhan engulfed her best friend in a hug. “Oh, this is awesome. I’m so happy for you!”

  Laughing, crying, and laughing some more, Vanessa and Audie joined in the hug-fest. They watched as Nadia slipped the platinum halo-style diamond ring onto her left hand so they could all get a better look as she recounted the sunset proposal.

  “I thought Kane was going to propose on the trip, either in Seattle or when we went over to Victoria, British Columbia,” Nadia told them, bouncing in her seat. “So when we’d get to these beautiful spots, I’d wait, but he never proposed. I put it out of my mind and just enjoyed the time away, which was exactly what he’d planned, sneaky devil.”

  She grinned. “Instead we got home, had a romantic dinner on the balcony, and he proposed at sunset. It was perfect.”

  “Just like you guys are perfect for each other,” Siobhan told her. “The professor’s a lucky man.”

  “I’m lucky too,” Nadia said softly, tears spiking her lashes. “This wouldn’t have happened without all of you.”

  “You can’t include me in that,” Audie said, wiping at her tears. “Vanessa egged you on the first day. Siobhan helped you see how much you love him. All I did was pick a fight with you when both of you were trying to help.”

  “No, Audie,” Nadia grabbed the redhead’s hand. “That night showed me that Kane cares for my friends because he cares for me. And we’re solid now, which means you don’t get out of bridesmaid duty. I do solemnly swear that I won’t pick anything hideous for you to wear or go all Bridezilla on you, so help me Bitch Talk.”

  “Don’t think we won’t hold you to that,” Vanessa said, dabbing at her eyes as she took her seat. “I’ve worn enough hideous bridesmaid dresses to last me a lifetime.”

  “Hey—I guess this means we get to throw an engagement party!” Siobhan realized, carefully blotting her mascara with a paper napkin. “I can host it at my house unless you want to have it at Kane’s.”

  “I think having my maid of honor throw an engagement party at her house is a great idea,” Nadia agreed with a smile.

  Siobhan hugged her friend again. “Thank you,” she managed, too choked up to say anything else.

  “You’re my sister from a different mister and you’ve been with me at my worst and my best. Of course you’re my maid of honor.”

  “That means this bridesmaid gets to plan the bachelorette party!” Audie exclaimed, rubbing her hands together with obvious relish.

  “We’ll plan it together,” Vanessa said with a knowing grin for Siobhan. “It’ll be the perfect balance between naughty and nice.”

  “Speaking of naughty and nice,” Nadia said, “what’s going on with you and Charlie? What was the big secret he was keeping from you?”

  Siobhan’s throat closed up. Reluctant to spoil Nadia’s day, she delayed by reaching for her tea, taking a sip. “Charlie’s got a family.”

  Audie frowned. “What do you mean, he’s got a family?”

  “I mean he has a sister who’s eighteen, the same age as Colleen,” she answered. “He’s also got two brothers, one in high school and one in middle school. Charlie’s been their legal guardian for the last eight years, ever since their parents died.”

  Audie whistled in appreciation. “The man is a saint. A hot saint, but you have to admit, that’s pretty damn heroic.”

  “I think so too.” Siobhan’s voice warbled, and she gripped her teacup, blowing out a slow, controlled breath. “It’s amazing to me that a guy who was in his last year of college would step up like that. I could clearly hear how important family is to him, how he’d do anything to protect them.”

  She paused. “He wanted me to meet them.”

  “That’s great news!” Vanessa exclaimed. She paused, looking at Audie and Nadia’s concerned expressions before turning back to Siobhan. “Isn’t it?”

  “Yes, it was a huge gesture, something he doesn’t do with just anyone.” Another breath in. “It would have been nice to meet them, but I don’t think that’s going to happen now.”

  Nadia reached over, wrapping warm fingers around Siobhan’s chilled hand. “You told him, didn’t you?”

  “I had to, you know?” Siobhan squeezed her friend’s hand. “We were at the point of deciding to be exclusive and serious. Once he mentioned kids in the house and how he wanted me to meet them, I knew I had to tell him about being addicted and losing my family.”

  Sympathy swam in Vanessa’s dark eyes. “What happened?”

  “I told him everything from high school to my second stint in rehab and trying to make amends with
Colleen,” she admitted. “I outed you, Nadia. I’m sorry.”

  “That doesn’t matter right now,” her partner reassured her. “What did he do after you told him all of that?”

  “He told me that I’d given him a lot to think about, and that he needed time to sort through it all. I said I understood.” She hunched her shoulders, but it didn’t make the hurt easier to bear. “He left. I haven’t heard from him since.”

  Nadia frowned. “That was Friday!”

  “I know,” Siobhan replied, failing to keep the misery out of her tone.

  “Four days?” Audie joined the frowning. “Four whole days without a word?”

  “Yeah.” Siobhan blew out a breath. “So I think we can figure out what that means. I’ll just chalk it up as another life lesson. I should have followed Nadia’s lead and just told Charlie up front that I was a drug addict. That way, neither one of us would have gotten too invested. It would have saved hurt feelings on both sides.”

  Hurt and anger churned inside her, and both made her feel guilty. She was the one who hadn’t wanted to get too involved, wanted to keep it just to the sex. He was the one who wanted to try the whole relationship thing. She’d thought that after he met her friends, saw her dance, and appeared to come to grips with it that he’d be cool, receptive even, to her past. He hadn’t, and it angered her even though she understood it. She’d been a drug addict. She’d gotten hooked twice, gotten clean twice. Who was to say that it wouldn’t happen again? Who would want her to be around their kids, even if those kids were siblings?

  “Maybe he’s still thinking things through,” Vanessa suggested. “I can’t believe Charlie would end things with you without saying anything or at least sending a text or e-mail or something. You guys have a business project together!”

  “Which we’ve been winding down,” Siobhan explained, struggling not to drown in their sympathy. “It was just an excuse to keep seeing each other. We’ve had four days to think things through. I can’t blame him if he doesn’t want to keep seeing me. He’s got his brothers and sister to think about. If our positions were reversed, I wouldn’t want to bring a recovering addict into my home either.”

  “I don’t believe it!” Audie interjected. “We’ve all seen you two together. You guys have the same sparks that Nadia and Kane have. You can’t give up on that. You’re a good person who made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. That doesn’t mean you should be punished forever, does it? You don’t deserve that!”

  Her lower lip trembled. “If you can’t get a happy ending, how can I hope to?”

  “Audie, honey, I’m no one’s role model. You’re young. You’ve made bad choices, sure, but you haven’t hurt anyone. You’re turning your life around and you still have plenty of time to make a go of it. You’re going to get your second chance. I just know it.”

  “You deserve a second chance too,” the redhead insisted.

  Audie’s support curled around Siobhan’s heart, bringing the threat of tears. “I had my second chance with my husband and kid, and I ruined it,” she reminded them. “I accept that, just as I accept that Charlie’s got his family to consider. If he didn’t, maybe things would be different. Maybe he’d be willing to take a risk, but maybe not, because we all know those of us in recovery are always a risk. Some of us are just a higher risk than others.”

  She managed a smile. “So I say, let’s let Nadia be our role model. At the very least, we should be talking wedding plans. Have you guys even talked about the type of wedding or when you want to get married?”

  “Actually, there might be two ceremonies—”

  “Excuse me, are you Siobhan Malloy?”

  The table fell silent as they looked at the dark blonde who approached their table. In her floral-print tank, cutoff shorts, and sandals, she looked so much like Colleen that Siobhan’s heart stuttered. When the young woman locked her blue-green eyes onto Siobhan, her heart stuttered for a different reason.

  “You’re Lorelei, aren’t you?” Siobhan managed to ask. “You’re Charlie’s sister.”

  The girl’s eyes widened. “How did you know?”

  “Your eyes,” she answered, conscious of her friends gathered around her. And her heart skidding triple-time. “Is everything all right? Has something happened to Charlie?” God, if I’ve been sitting here bitching about him not calling and he’s been injured—

  “Nothing’s happened to him.” Lorelei’s gaze darted around the table before returning to Siobhan. “Is it okay if I talk to you for a moment?”

  Siobhan hesitated. If Lorelei O’Halloran knew about her, that meant that Charlie must have mentioned her to his sister. Why would he do that? When did he do that? What had he said about Siobhan? She didn’t know, but she was curious enough to try finding out. “All right. Let’s sit over there. Would you like something to drink? The kitchen’s closed, but we can still do coffee or tea.”

  “I’m fine, thanks.”

  They sat at another quiet table, mostly out of earshot of Siobhan’s friends, who were doing their best to not appear to be eavesdropping. “It’s nice to meet you, Lorelei,” she finally said. “What can I do for you?”

  The girl tossed her purse onto the table and slung herself into the chair with easy grace. “Charlie’s the only one who calls me Lorelei,” she said. “Everyone else calls me Lori.”

  “Lorelei’s a pretty name,” Siobhan pointed out. “It suits you.”

  “Charlie says that too.” Lorelei raised her brows. “I don’t mind you using it either, then.”

  “All right. Lorelei.” Siobhan hesitated. “Does your brother know you’re here?”

  “No. I’m going to his office after I talk to you.” She stared at Siobhan with unabashed curiosity, making Siobhan wonder how her daughter would have turned out if she’d been a better mother.

  “I’ve been in here before with friends,” Lorelei said after the silence stretched. “When Charlie told us that he wanted to date one of the owners, I was hoping he meant you. No offense to the other lady, but you’re pretty and you dress cool. I like your apron.”

  “Thank you.” Siobhan smoothed a hand down her hot pink apron trimmed with a black-and-white edging printed with sugar skulls that covered her black-and-white bowling shirt and black pedal pushers. “Did Charlie tell you anything about me?”

  Lorelei nodded. “Charlie called a family meeting and told us he’d met someone he wanted to date. We were so excited. Okay, maybe I was excited—Kyle was anxious and Finn can be a little meh if it doesn’t involve video games. Anyway, you have to understand—Charlie doesn’t date. Like ever.” She rolled her eyes. “Believe me, I’ve asked him. He always has an excuse, saying he’s too busy, the company needs all his attention, the family needs all his attention. Or that the girls in town aren’t interesting enough.”

  Lorelei stared at Siobhan, her expression open and earnest. “So when he said he wanted to tell you about the rest of us and invite you over for dinner, we knew that meant you were special. You’re different.”

  “I think that’s the problem,” Siobhan said, fighting to keep her tone free of emotion. “I’m a little too different from what he’s looking for.”

  “What if you’re exactly what he needs?”

  Siobhan shook her head. She wasn’t what anyone needed. “Obviously he decided differently.”

  “He’s overwhelmed,” Lorelei insisted. “He got a bum deal when our parents died. He didn’t have to step up and take us on, but he did. He kept us from being sent to foster care. Separate foster homes. He’s my hero, but don’t you ever tell him that. I was hoping he was finally doing something for himself.”

  Her shoulders slumped. “When he came home early from his date Friday and said dinner would be postponed, we knew that meant the talk didn’t go well.”

  “It has nothing to do with you or your brothers,” Siobhan interrupted, horrified that Charlie wouldn’t have explained that. “I hope you believe me.”

  “I know.” Lorelei gave her a di
rect look. “Charlie told me that you were addicted to pain medication.”

  Siobhan sat back, stunned. “He . . . he told you about that?”

  “Me, not the boys,” his sister confirmed. “I had to pull it out of him, though. He tends to keep things to himself, especially if he thinks he’s protecting us when he does it.”

  Siobhan stared at the girl, trying to decide how to proceed. She wanted to know if Charlie was angry or upset. She wanted to know what Lorelei thought of her now that she knew about Siobhan’s drug abuse history. She wanted to know if Charlie wanted to see her again. Those weren’t the sort of questions she could or would ask an eighteen-year-old, however.

  “Given all of that, I think you can understand why Charlie and I aren’t seeing each other.”

  “No, no, I can’t understand.” Lorelei shook her head for emphasis. “All he’s been focused on is what’s important for the family, what’s best for us. He’s protective of us. He hasn’t thought about what’s best for him in years. With you, I think he’s finally thinking about it.”

  Siobhan wanted to believe that, but it was difficult. She only had to look at her own family, remember the judge’s reprimand, hear Colleen complain about having to sit through visitations with a mother who cared more about numbing the pain than being with her daughter. How her father had shut the door in her face when she’d gotten out of rehab, as if she were a door-to-door salesperson or something. If family did that, how could she expect Charlie to react any differently?

  She shook her head. “Lorelei, I appreciate—”

  “You messed up. People mess up all the time. People are in the news all the time because they mess up. Some people get more famous after they mess up. Besides, what you did was five years ago—that’s like forever. If you were famous, no one would care!”

  Siobhan pursed her lips to hold back a smile. “The thing is, I’m not famous. Even if I were, Charlie just has your best interests at heart.”