Sugar

by Seressia Glass

  “I get it. He thinks he’s protecting us, but I think he’s being stupid. Now that I’ve talked to you, I think he’s being really stupid.”

  “I know he’s your brother, but I don’t appreciate you talking about Charlie that way. Your brother’s a good man.”

  “See?” Lorelei slapped the table. “That’s what I mean! You’re standing up for him. You didn’t have to tell him all that stuff, but you did. You’re pretty and honest and nice and Charlie needs that. He needs you.”

  Flummoxed, Siobhan sat back, blinking at the younger woman. “Are you sure you’re eighteen?”

  Lorelei’s laughter rang through the mostly empty café, drawing attention to their table. “Yes, I’m eighteen, though Charlie treats me like I’m eight. We all had to grow up in a hurry after our parents died. Charlie stepped up, but none of us were going to do anything that would get us taken away from each other. I know he gave up a lot, but he says he got much more.”

  She sighed, and for a moment looked far older than her eighteen years. “I just want him to have a chance to be happy. He deserves it.”

  “I think he does too,” Siobhan said. “That’s why—”

  “You can make him happy, Siobhan. Can I call you Siobhan? I know you can make him happy, if you have the chance.”

  What was it with the O’Hallorans and their smooth talk? “Lorelei. First, yes, you can call me Siobhan. I’d like that. Second, thank you for coming to see me and telling me all of this. You gotta know, though, that I haven’t heard from Charlie in four days. I think that tells me all I need to know about what he thinks.”

  “I can change his mind,” Lorelei insisted, her voice hard with determination. “He’s miserable without you and he knows it.”

  She stood, shouldering her bag. “If I convince him to call you or come by, will you talk to him? Personally, I think he owes you an apology for not calling before now.”

  Siobhan stood as well. “Again I ask: are you really eighteen?”

  “Yep.” Charlie’s sister laughed again. “I’m going to Herscher University this fall, majoring in psychology with a specialty in family counseling.”

  Figures. “I’d say you have an amazing head start.”

  “Hey, I’m the only girl in a house full of guys. I had to do something to hold my own.” Lorelei wrapped her in an impulsive hug. “I want you and Charlie to get together because I want to have another girl around the house. We can even the odds. Hopefully you’ll be over for dinner this weekend. Wish me luck!”

  Siobhan’s friends swarmed her as Lorelei left. “So that was Charlie’s sister?” Nadia asked.

  “Yeah, a regular force of nature,” Siobhan answered. “She thinks I’m good for Charlie and she’s heading over to see him now. The poor guy doesn’t stand a chance.”

  FIFTEEN

  Siobhan was a drug addict.

  Charlie sat in his office, his mind far away from work. All he’d been able to think about for the last four days was Siobhan and the story she’d told him. Even though he’d heard the details directly from her, his mind still couldn’t make the leap from the woman she’d been to the woman he knew.

  The Siobhan he knew wasn’t weak. The Siobhan he knew wouldn’t surrender to the empty promise of narcotics, not once but twice. The Siobhan he knew wouldn’t endanger a child.

  Except she’d done all of those things. Pain pills and sleep aids, prescription and over-the-counter. He’d done some online research about pain clinics and pill mills, read horror stories about overdoses and destroyed lives. Siobhan’s addiction had cost her a marriage, her relationships with her parents and daughter, and very nearly her freedom.

  Sure she had turned her life around, gotten clean, and established a successful business. For four years, she’d been a pillar of the Crimson Bay community, far removed from the child-endangering addict she’d been. Still he couldn’t suppress the thought that slithered through his mind: what if it didn’t last?

  That was the question that paralyzed him into indecision. What if their relationship continued, blossomed into something more, and she suffered a relapse? What if some other trauma occurred and she reached for pills as a chemical crutch to cope? Could he accept that? Could he allow her into his home, around his brothers and sister, knowing the risks?

  He scrubbed a hand down his face. He didn’t know. He had his doubts and those doubts cut deep. His responsibility to his family superseded everything, even his own needs. He’d spent the majority of the last decade ensuring his siblings were protected, cared for. Working hard to preserve the remainder of his family had left no room for anything else, including intimate relationships. Truth be told, he just didn’t have the desire to play dating games, had rarely indulged in more than a few one-night stands here and there, usually when the boys were away at summer camp,

  He’d gotten used to being alone so much that it never felt like being lonely. Familial duties and business obligations consumed him and he’d allowed it, telling himself he didn’t need anything more. Until the day he met Siobhan, and everything changed.

  Meeting her, being with her, drove home the weight of the sacrifices he’d made for his family. Sacrifices he’d willingly make again, without question, without hesitation. Now, thanks to Siobhan, he wanted more. He needed more. Hungered for more. She was the only one who’d been capable of inspiring that level of need, and the only one who could satisfy it.

  At least, she had been. Now he doubted her, doubted himself. Doubted that he could make the right decision for all of them. That doubt angered him.

  He wanted Siobhan. He wanted to protect his family. Somehow there had to be a way to do both. Did that mean he had to remain alone, not be with anyone until Finn became an adult and moved out, leaving him with an empty nest? Could he wait that long? Would Siobhan wait that long?

  “Well aren’t you the picture of sunshine and unicorns?”

  He looked up as Lorelei stepped into his office, and made an effort to pull his head out of his ass. “Hey. I thought you were working.”

  “I’m done for the day,” she said, closing his office door then leaning against it. “How about you? Getting any work done, or is today as productive as yesterday?”

  He looked at his laptop, the slew of unanswered e-mails, the half-formed project proposals scattered on his desk. As much as he enjoyed his company, work was not providing the distraction he needed. “I might as well be. Why don’t we go get Kyle and Finn, and go out to dinner? I’ll even let you treat.”

  “Sure, if we’re going to take advantage of someone’s dollar menu,” she retorted, folding her arms across her chest. “Are you finally done moping?”

  Crap. He hadn’t done as good of job of concealing his thoughts as he’d hoped. “I’m not moping.”

  Lorelei simply looked at him with that combination of teenage-girl scorn and world-weary pity that she’d perfected before puberty. “You should go talk to her.”

  Charlie didn’t waste time pretending to misunderstand. “Instead of focusing on my problems, shouldn’t you be concentrating on clothes for college, chick flicks, and even, God forbid, a boyfriend?”

  “I’ll get a boyfriend as soon as my oldest brother makes up with his girlfriend and gets a life.”

  “I have a life.”

  The lie fell flat between them. “You had a life. Four days ago. Then gave it up when you walked out on her.”

  Charlie hesitated. He did his best to keep Lorelei—all of them—from growing up too fast, but she’d taken her role as lady of the house seriously from the age of ten, when she’d had to play hostess for their parents’ wake while the grown-ups whispered about taking her away. He didn’t like leaning on her for things that he, as head of the household, should carry alone. Certainly relationship talks were off the table, unless the talks were about her relationships.

  He had to correct her on one thing. “I didn’t give her up.”

  “Siobhan thinks you did.”

  “What?” He jerked upright. “
You saw her?”

  Lorelei nodded. “I went to the café before I came here.”

  “Why would you do that?” he thrust his hands into his hair. “Dammit, Lorelei, I don’t want you to get involved in this!”

  “Too bad,” she shot back, settling her hands on her hips. “I’m your sister, so I’m automatically involved. Besides, I wanted to see her.”

  “Why?”

  “I watched you when you told us about her. You were happy. Happy in a way I haven’t seen in a long time.”

  “I’m happy,” he insisted, trying not to squirm beneath his sister’s assessing gaze.

  “Right now you’re not. Neither is she.”

  His heart thumped heavy in his chest. “Did you talk to her?”

  “Yeah. She defended you, said she understood why you broke up with her.”

  “I didn’t break up with her,” he protested. “I just—”

  “Haven’t called, texted, or stopped by in four days,” his sister pointed out. “After she dropped her story on you and you left, what else is she supposed to think?”

  Fuck. He rubbed at his forehead. In all the time he’d spent thinking about what he’d do, he hadn’t thought about what Siobhan was going through, what she had to be thinking. “I don’t want to end things with her, but my first obligation is to you guys.”

  “You’re hopeless.” Lorelei shook her head. “What do you think your girlfriend could expose us to that television, the Internet, and school don’t?”

  Charlie groaned. “You keep talking like that, and I’ll home-school all of you.”

  “You suck at homework, remember?” She morphed her features into a portrait of innocence. “Besides, the life lessons you teach us are far more valuable.”

  “Stop blowing smoke up my ass,” he groused without heat. “I’m already paying for college, though I have to say I’m beginning to rethink that psychology degree.”

  “I chose that psychology major because living with the three of you drives me crazy. You owe me.”

  She pushed off the door. “I’ll cut to the mushy stuff. I love you and want you to be happy. I think Siobhan can make you happy, and I think you can make her happy. If you decide to give yourself a chance, that is. And if she decides to forgive you.”

  “It’s not that simple, Lorelei.”

  “Sure it is. She’s human. Pretty and cool and totally rocking that retro vibe, but still human. Humans make mistakes. If one of us went through what she went through, would you turn your back on us?”

  That was the question he should have asked all along. He wouldn’t turn his back on his siblings. The very idea churned his stomach. He would support them, make sure they got the help they needed. They were family. One didn’t turn their back on family.

  So why was he considering turning his back on the woman who so sweetly gave him everything he needed?

  Shit. He shot to his feet. “I need to see her.”

  “Yes!” Lorelei broke into a maniacal grin. “I’ll help you shut down in here. You should go home and get cleaned up so you can make a good impression. Too bad you don’t have enough time to buy her a present, something sparkly.”

  “You’ve got this all figured out, don’t you?” Charlie asked as he shut his laptop down.

  “Happy endings aren’t only in books, you know,” his sister said, bumping his shoulder. “By the way, I sorta invited her to dinner on Saturday, so make sure she forgives you. I can’t wait to balance out all the testosterone in our house!”

  Forty-five minutes and a pit stop later, Charlie pulled up in front of Siobhan’s bungalow. Anticipation gripped him at the thought of seeing her again. He’d missed her, missed her so intensely that he knew he was gone on her. He had to make things right with Siobhan, had to convince her that they belonged together, that she was his. He’d done it once before, he’d do it again.

  * * *

  Siobhan jammed on her brakes as she spotted Charlie’s SUV parked in front of her house. Whatever Lorelei had said to her brother had obviously made an impression. What sort of impression, Siobhan didn’t know.

  She took her time parking and getting out of her car. He approached as she opened her trunk to retrieve groceries, looking good in jeans and a short-sleeved navy shirt that set off his tanned skin and blond hair. Her body hummed to life as it always did when he was near, but her heart pounded at his serious expression. “Hi.”

  “Hi, Siobhan,” he said, his voice polite, almost formal as he took her bags from her. “Can we talk?”

  Siobhan wasn’t sure she wanted to hear what Charlie had to say, but she knew she didn’t want to hear it in her front yard. “Of course. Come inside.”

  They remained silent as she unlocked her front door, disabled the alarm, then stepped inside. After locking the door again she followed Charlie to the kitchen, tension rising inside her with every step. It wasn’t until they’d placed her purchases on the island that she turned to him. “So I guess Lorelei—”

  Charlie cupped her face in his large hands and kissed her. Startled, she put her hands flat against his chest, torn between pulling him close and pushing him away. He solved her dilemma by wrapping his arms around her waist, caging her in his embrace.

  If he’d made it a hard kiss, a punishing kiss, or even an arousing kiss, maybe she would have resisted. But that wasn’t what Charlie did. He gave her a soft kiss, an apology kiss. A kiss of hope and promise and everything nice. She opened to it like a flower to a gentle rain, needing it to cleanse away the dusty hurt of the last few days.

  “We aren’t broken up,” he announced against her mouth, his voice edged with emotion. “We weren’t broken up. You need to understand that right now.”

  “But it’s been four days—”

  He kissed her again, this time with more demand. “I’m not an impulsive guy, Siobhan. I used to be, but I can’t afford to be anymore. Not while I’m still responsible for my brothers and sister.”

  “What are you trying to tell me, Charlie?” She pushed away from him. Needing something to do other than step into his arms again, she focused on putting away her groceries. “You want to sneak around on your family, for us to go back to being secret? Isn’t that going to be hard to do now that Lorelei knows everything?”

  She expected him to react in anger. Instead a slow smile bowed his lips. “She let you call her Lorelei?”

  “Why wouldn’t she? It’s a pretty name and it suits her. She seemed cool with that.”

  “She hates being called Lorelei. Says it’s too fluffy, whatever that means. I’m the only one she lets get away with using her full name, and even then she gives me crap about it.”

  “You’re dodging my question.” She slammed a cabinet door shut. “You wanted us to be public with our relationship, and I agreed. I won’t be a secret, Charlie. If you want to pretend to your family and friends that we’re broken up while you come sneaking over here for a booty call, you can leave right now.”

  He stepped up behind her, bracing his hands on the counter on either side of her. “Let’s be clear about how we’re moving forward, Siobhan,” he said, his breath warm and insistent on the back of her neck. “One, I’m not pretending anything. I’m out and proud about wanting to be with you. Two, I want everyone to know about the smoking hot blonde I’m dating, because we are dating. Call me whatever you want—boyfriend, lover, partner, or that guy you’re seeing. I don’t care as long as everyone knows that we’re together. Which brings me to three.”

  He turned her around, cradling her cheeks in his hands. “I hurt you, something I never want to do. I should have called you, but I’m used to thinking things through and making decisions on my own.”

  Standing so close to him like this, soaking in his warmth, the promise in his eyes urged her to give in, to agree to any- and everything he wanted. “If we’re going to do this relationship thing, then you have to realize that you’re not on your own anymore.”

  Something flared in his eyes, something so stark that she palme
d his cheeks in concern. Then he smiled. “I like the sound of that.”

  He gave her a quick kiss then stepped back. “I owe you a proper apology. Let me take you out to dinner, then we can come back and have makeup sex.”

  She arched a brow as she took in his attire. “If you want to give me a proper apology, we need to go somewhere with a different dress code. Then we’ll see about the makeup sex.”

  His cocky grin returned. “I have a suitable change of clothing in the car. Wasn’t going to push my luck by bringing in an overnight bag before I convinced you that we’re not broken up.”

  “Overnight bag?” Charlie wanted to stay over?

  “I’m going to be exhausted after giving you a very proper apology,” he explained. “You wouldn’t want me driving home late at night too fatigued to concentrate, would you?”

  “No, that wouldn’t be right.” She couldn’t stop her smile from forming. “It would be rude of me to kick you out after an epic apology. Of course, I might discover that you snore, or that you’re a bed hog.”

  “Hmm.” He made an attempt at looking thoughtful. “Well then I suppose I’ll have to make sure you’re too tired after accepting my apology to do anything other than fall asleep.”

  “I do love the way you think,” Siobhan said, the last of her worry falling away.

  “Good. Then I think you should go freshen up and slip into something with a skirt, a garter belt, and no panties. I’ll put away the rest of your groceries, get my stuff, then call the homestead. The bratlets are waiting for me to report in. By the way, Saturday dinner with the family is back on. Sound good?”

  “Sounds better than good. I like the way your plans come together, Charlie O’Halloran.”

  “Good.” He sent her a scorching look. “Because there’s going to be a lot of coming together in our future.”

  SIXTEEN

  “How did you get involved with the Crimson Bay Bombshells?”