I raised my chin. It was at that precise moment, I fear, that I changed my mind about marrying Neil and I did it for all the wrong reasons. I decided that none of Neil’s aristocratic connections had the right to look down their nose at me. I would marry Neil and be damned to the Earl of Strathconan and indeed to everyone else.
You see how it was with me—I had so much youth and determination, and so much pride. Enough to block out every difficult issue that I did not wish to confront, from Lord Strathconan’s inevitable disapproval to the fact that Neil was not in love with me. My decisions are often swiftly made and, though I blush to admit it, are sometimes still based on as little sense as that one was even to this day. But at the time I had good excuse, for I was burning with indignation. In my opinion a Balfour was a good enough match for a Sinclair. In fact I thought that Neil was fortunate to be marrying me, not the other way around.
Everyone was most frightfully respectful to me after that. Captain Methven said that I should have his own cabin, and called a man to show me the way at once so that I might refresh myself. Although there were no ladies aboard he said that he was almost sure he could put his hand on a few items of clothing and toiletries for me which would, he hoped, make my journey more tolerable until we could put in to port.
The whole business gave Neil only a moment to grab my hand and say in a hasty whisper, ‘Catriona? Is that all right?’
I whispered, ‘Yes!’ in reply.
If no proposal of marriage had ever been offered in so cavalier a manner, I suppose that no acceptance had ever been so rapidly and injudiciously given.
Neil and I did not meet again until dinner. I was in my borrowed plumes of a rather frivolous blue silk gown adorned with yards of lace. To this day I do not know where Johnny Methven obtained it from, but I can guess. The shoes they had found for me were too big, but that was a good thing, for my feet had been much abused, running around the island barefoot. Even the soft silk stockings that went with the dress seem to rub them rough and raw. My flat chest barely filled out the front of the gown, so I wrapped my tartan about me like a shawl, which created a rather comical but entirely respectable effect. Neil was also in borrowed clothes, a Navy uniform that made him look at once much smarter than me and somehow very intimidating. At least one of us did not look as though they were participating in a theatrical performance.
As I came into the wardroom Lieutenant Rose offered me a sherry and engaged me in conversation, and although half my mind was distracted by his pleasantries, the other half was entirely focussed on Neil. Captain Methven was talking to him most earnestly over in a corner.
‘She seems a charming girl,’ I overheard Methven saying, ‘and I understand why you feel you must do this. But there is no getting away from the fact that she is unsuitable, Sinclair, and there is your uncle’s opinion to consider—’
‘Catriona is more than charming,’ Neil interrupted. ‘She has great courage and spirit. My uncle will grow to like her.’
‘If you say so.’ Methven still sounded unconvinced. ‘I wouldn’t have thought you the marrying type, though.’
‘I know what I’m doing, Johnny,’ Neil said shortly. ‘And besides, in honour—’ He looked up, caught sight of me, and bit off whatever he had been about to say.
He and Methven both came across then, and cut poor Lieutenant Rose out completely for my attentions. It was flattering, but I knew that since I was the only woman on the ship I did not exactly have a great deal of competition.
The cook had come up with a wonderful meal of lamb stew, for the ship had taken on fresh supplies on Barra, which was where the crew had also heard rumours of the wreck of the Cormorant. I tried to eat with some restraint, and not fall upon the meal like a castaway who had been eating nothing but porridge and salt meat for six weeks.
‘It was all thanks to a relative of yours that we even knew where to look for you both, Miss Balfour,’ Captain Methven said to me as we sat down to eat.
He was very gallant to me all of sudden, holding a chair for me and vying with Lieutenant Rose to fill my wine glass. Neil watched them falling over each other to be chivalrous to me, and there was sardonic amusement in his dark eyes.
‘A relative of mine?’ I said, thinking of Uncle Ebeneezer. ‘I have barely any, and those that I do are mostly reprobates.’
Captain Methven laughed. ‘I am speaking of a Miss Ellen Balfour of Glen Clair. I believe she is your cousin? She raised the alarm after you were kidnapped.’
I met Neil’s eyes. I do not know which of us was the more startled. ‘Ellen did?’ I said. ‘But how? What did she do—run away from Glen Clair?’
‘So I believe,’ Captain Methven said, nodding. ‘As I heard it, she travelled to Kinlochewe in secret, went into hiding from her father there, and sent word to her fiancé, who is in the Army—’
‘Her fiancé!’ I burst out. I could not help myself. ‘Surely she is not betrothed to Lieutenant Graham?’
Captain Methven looked puzzled for a moment. ‘No, her fiancé is a Captain Langley. In point of fact I believe your cousin must be Mrs Langley by now, for I know the nuptials were close when we sailed three weeks ago.’
I was speechless—and that does not happen to me often. Neil’s shoulders were shaking with laughter.
‘I always thought that Langley was a dark horse,’ he murmured. ‘To steal the girl and the promotion from under his colleague’s nose…’
‘Never mind about Captain Langley for now,’ I said. ‘What about Ellen? She is the sweetest girl in the world, but I would never have guessed that she could be so intrepid as to run away!’
‘Mrs Langley is much admired in Edinburgh,’ Captain Methven agreed. ‘As much for her sweet nature as her beauty.’
‘I can see that you have met her,’ I said, and he almost blushed.
‘I have had that pleasure,’ he murmured.
I could just imagine Ellen laying waste to the hearts of His Majesty’s Navy in the same way that she had cut a swathe through the Army, and I felt a most unpleasant stab of jealousy. Sitting there in my pantomime gown did little to restore my confidence. Then Neil smiled at me across the table. His eyes were still bright with suppressed amusement at the thought of Ellen’s daring—Ellen who was scared of mice and thought the glen a terrifying place after dark.
‘Actually, I think Ellen’s behaviour is a tribute to you, Catriona,’ he said. ‘She is very fond of you, and perhaps she could not bear to sit by and do nothing when you were kidnapped.’
That made me ashamed of my jealousy. ‘We are very fond of one another,’ I said. ‘I would have done the same for her.’
In point of fact I would have done more—hit Uncle Ebeneezer over the head with the poker and prevented her from being kidnapped in the first place—but one cannot have everything.
‘Langley seems a sound fellow,’ Methven said, picking up the tale. ‘Apparently as soon as he heard that you had been taken as well, Sinclair, he sent word to the Admiralty and to Lord Strathconan. The soldiers marched on Glen Clair to arrest Mr Balfour.’
‘Uncle Ebeneezer!’ I said. I put down my knife and fork. ‘Where is he now?’
‘He is dead,’ Methven said, not without satisfaction. ‘He was killed resisting arrest.’
I looked at Neil. I was thinking of the charge of treason Uncle Ebeneezer would have faced for his spying, as well as the small matter of whisky-smuggling, and the kidnap of his niece and an officer of the crown.
‘They would have hanged him, would they not?’ I whispered, and though I had never had an ounce of affection for the man I still felt the chill and the horror of it. ‘Perhaps it is better this way.’
Neil did not deny it.
‘Poor Ellen,’ I said. ‘Poor Aunt Madeline.’
‘As to that,’ Lieutenant Methven said, ‘I hear that your aunt is now very comfortably ensconced in a house in Inverness, and once she is out of mourning she may indeed find a new lease of life.’ He frowned. ‘The only thing that puzzles me, Mis
s Balfour, is why your uncle saw fit to have you kidnapped in the first place.’
‘I believe it was because I am heir to the Glen Clair estate, Captain, and my uncle did not wish to give it up. I must set lawyers on the case as soon as I return to dry land.’
It was at that point that Lieutenant Rose, who had been respectfully silent whilst his senior officers talked, straightened up and pressed me to another glass of wine. I could see him thinking that if matters did not turn out well between Neil and myself once we reached dry land—if Lord Strathconan cut up rough and wanted to parcel me off quietly to another man, for example—he might almost be prepared to overlook my sullied reputation for the sake of my inheritance.
Captain Methven now turned the conversation to the hunt for the Cormorant, and enquired how Neil and I had managed to escape the shipwreck. Neil gave full credit to me for rescuing him from the hold of the ship before it went down, but he told the tale of my adventures so charmingly that I sounded a heroine rather than a hoyden. Ellen’s achievements were quite eclipsed, and soon the officers were toasting my bravery and I was quite in danger of having my head turned. I stood up.
‘Gentlemen,’ I said, refusing Lieutenant Rose’s offer of a third glass of wine, ‘you must excuse me. I will leave you to your port.’
This decision of mine proved even more popular—I could tell that only my presence had restrained them from broaching further supplies already—but they all stood up very courteously as I left. Lieutenant Rose eagerly offered to escort me back to my cabin, but Neil stopped him.
‘You will have to concede to my superior claim both as a senior officer and the lady’s betrothed, Rose,’ he drawled, and Lieutenant Rose backed down with a hasty disclaimer.
There was no privacy on the ship, and since Neil seemed determined to continue to behave with absolute propriety he escorted me gravely to the cabin door but would not come in.
‘We should put in to Gairloch in a couple of days, if the wind holds from the west,’ he said. He hesitated. ‘I thought perhaps to arrange for you to travel from there to Applecross. I will need to go to Lochinver and give an account of myself to my senior officers, and from there to Glen Conan to see my uncle.’ He stopped and took hold of my hands. ‘I thought you might wish Mr Campbell to marry us, as he is your godfather,’ he said, ‘but if you wish for the wedding to be sooner than three weeks we may wed immediately.’
‘It will be perfect to be married at Applecross,’ I said. I was deeply touched that he had realised how important it was for me to have Mr Campbell be the one to officiate at my wedding. ‘And we do not need to rush. That will only increase the speculation and talk of scandal.’
‘There will be plenty of that as it is,’ Neil said ruefully. His hands tightened on mine. ‘I am sorry, Catriona.’
‘You have nothing to apologise for,’ I said, astonished. ‘You have been all that is honourable—’
Neil shook his head. It felt as though there was something he wanted to say to me, and yet he did not seem quite able to find the words.
‘This is not how I wanted it to be for you,’ he said at last, fiercely. ‘With people gossiping and your reputation at the mercy of the scandalmongers. It is not good enough for you. You deserve better.’
He stopped.
‘I have said that to you before, have I not?’ he said bitterly after a moment. ‘On the island, on Taransay, when I said that I could never love you the way that you deserve to be loved.’ He gripped my hands even harder. His eyes were dark with passion. ‘Well, be damned to it. I find I am not so scrupulous after all when it comes to letting you go. I saw the way all those men were looking at you tonight, Catriona. Do you think for one moment that I would permit another man to court you, to touch you, to make love to you?’
His words set my head spinning. The desire in his eyes threatened to steal all my common sense.
‘Neil—’ I started to protest, though I had no notion what I was intending to say. But then he kissed me anyway, and my words were lost beneath the demand of his mouth.
I could not resist him. I did not want to. I thought of marrying him, and of the desire that would flare between us in the marriage bed, and I felt weak with lust. The fact that he did not love me I pushed to the very back of my mind. Silly little fool that I was, perhaps I had even started to believe—to hope—that I could make him fall in love with me over time, and that we would live happily ever after at the Old House at Glen Clair.
‘I am never letting you go, Catriona,’ Neil said against my lips.
He sounded very fierce, and there was a possessive look in his eyes that held me silent. For all that I can be as stubborn as a mule, Neil has an obstinacy that matches mine sometimes, and I knew that now he had decided he wanted me he would go to the ends of the earth to keep me, love or not. He loosed me and pressed a kiss on my palm, then left me, walking quickly down the corridor away from me.
It was too late to turn back.
Chapter Fifteen
In which Neil and I are married, despite the opposition of his family.
A week later saw me back at Applecross, in the familiar surroundings of Mr Campbell’s study, and in some ways it felt as though nothing had changed since the last time I was there. There was the same musty smell of old books and dust in the air. The badly stuffed sofa was as uncomfortable as ever. And Mr Campbell was still looking at me with concern in his eyes, as though he would never be free of worrying about me.
‘I blame myself,’ he said, and he sounded bitterly regretful. ‘I knew the truth of your inheritance, but your papa swore me to secrecy. He was certain that Ebeneezer would do the right thing and pass Glen Clair over to you.’ He shook his head. ‘David—your papa—always believed the best of people.’
‘What happened between them, sir?’ I asked, leaning forward in my anxiety to hear the truth at last. ‘Why were they estranged? Did they quarrel over Glen Clair?’
Mr Campbell got up and moved stiffly across to the window. His faded blue gaze was fixed on the far mountains, which were swept with a misty purple haze that late-autumn day.
‘David had no interest in the estate and wished to pursue his academic career. He went to Edinburgh to study, met your mother, and settled here…’ He sighed, shoulders slumping. ‘He had asked Ebeneezer to run the estate at Glen Clair in his absence and your uncle was very willing. Unlike David, he loved the land and he loved Glen Clair.’
I frowned, trying to imagine a time when Uncle Ebeneezer had cared as passionately about Glen Clair as I did.
‘He let it go to ruin,’ I said. ‘How did that happen? Why did that happen?’
‘After a while Ebeneezer came to visit David here, and demanded that he make Glen Clair over to him,’ Mr Campbell said. ‘He argued that it was he who had worked all his life to keep the estate running well and it was only fair that he should have the ownership of Glen Clair for his pains. The estate was not entailed—your papa could have made it over to his brother had he so chosen.’ Mr Campbell sighed. ‘I had some sympathy with Ebeneezer Balfour’s position,’ he admitted. ‘David cared for nothing but his books—and his family, of course.’ He smiled at me, a tired smile. ‘Ebeneezer had worked his fingers to the bone to keep Glen Clair profitable, and yet in the end he was to get nothing, for David refused to give up the estate and insisted that it would one day be your dowry.’
My heart gave a lurch of pain and pity and understanding. At last I could see what my papa had intended for me, and I understood the reason why Uncle Ebeneezer had been so bitter and had hated me. He had known that one day I would take away from him everything that he had worked for.
‘There was a terrible argument,’ Mr Campbell said. ‘Ebeneezer swore that he would do no more for a man who sought to deprive him of his livelihood, and from that day he never spoke to your papa again—and he drove Glen Clair into the ground.’ He turned and looked at me. ‘In the end, in his bitter madness, he tried to kill you, too.’
There was silence in the
study. I breathed in the comforting, fusty smell of old books and dusty cushions, and thought about Uncle Ebeneezer, with his love and his ambition trampled in the dust, and I confess that I felt a great deal of pity for him.
‘If your papa and I had only been more honest with you none of this would have happened.’ Mr Campbell turned back to his desk and tapped the letter that rested there. ‘Your kidnap and shipwreck, Catriona…a shocking business, truly terrible…. And now you are obliged to marry Mr Sinclair.’ He shook his head, and I thought for a moment that he was about to declare that a terrible fate as well.
‘That is not so bad an outcome, sir,’ I protested, trying to lighten his mood. I sensed his guilt and self-reproach was dreadfully strong.
‘Hmm,’ Mr Campbell said. ‘When a gentleman has the reputation with women that Mr Sinclair does one has to question his reliability, Catriona. However—’ he tapped the letter again ‘—Mr Sinclair does write very properly of his regret that he could not accompany you here to see me in person, and asks formally for my permission to marry you, which is all very appropriate.’
He stood up again and walked across to the study window. I had seldom seen Mr Campbell so restless, and his mood made me restive as well. The November sun was shining on the silver trunks of the old apple trees in the garden of the manse and glittering on the sea out in the Minch. I longed to be outside. Since returning from Taransay I had found it fearfully difficult to settle to being indoors in a normal house. I felt strangely penned in. And I missed Neil dreadfully.
We had parted in Gairloch, from where I had taken a carriage south to Applecross and Neil had travelled back to the naval station at Lochinver. I knew he had to go. It was his duty to give an account of all that had happened in his investigation into the spy ring, and everything that had subsequently followed with our abduction and shipwreck. And when that was settled there was Lord Strathconan to visit, in order to placate him about our marriage. Indeed, there were a hundred and one reasons why Neil could not be at my side during this time when I needed him the most.
Kidnapped: His Innocent Mistress Page 16
