by Nicety
The purpose of us even being out here was to make a baby, a wondrous love child, the old-fashioned way. Yes, I had planned on doing the nasty all week long. I had been planning this week for over a month. So between the lingerie shopping and the ordering of shoes, I had spent a pretty penny to make sure our week was full of erotica. I needed this. Well, we needed this. The last time Major and I had this type of opportunity was on our honeymoon night. But it seemed that the shit that happened then is the same shit that’s happening now, absolutely nothing!
I started to hear some Calypso music in the distance and I got the urge to dance. I packed up my beach bag, grabbed my pretty blue drink and sauntered over. The view was beyond amazing. Bamboo lit torches, drinks flowing, partygoers everywhere dancing and the music was blaring. Yet I slowly came to remember that I was still alone. Just as I went to take a seat at one of the many bars, one of the finest looking men came up to me and asked me to dance. Feeling a bit apprehensive at first, I was like fuck it. Major’s ass had left me down here by myself to do what? Sit up and twiddle my fingers waiting on him. Nope! I extend my hand to the stranger as he introduced himself.
“You’re looking super lovely in this little getup. My name is Nicholas. Are you from the island, beautiful?” he immediately started to dance, gyrating his hips like a seasoned Dancing with the Stars contestant.
His accent was so sexy. This man had me mesmerized. His scent sent me adrift of bliss. The butterflies fluttering around in my stomach when he came close to me was no doubt a feeling I shouldn’t have been experiencing. Lust the sin of mere woks of the flesh. It encouraged a side of me that was vain and lascivious. It was a deadly yet powerful magnet designed by Satan to draw people into his net. And, I was feeling every bit of sinful. I was feeling the need to have pointless unmentionable sex and never tell a soul. Lust was only for the short term, never an everlasting feeling. But if I decided to get on, I was going to at least enjoy the ride while it lasted. I felt my juices starting to flow and it was all so purely unintentional.
“No, sorry I’m not from here. I am from the States, Chicago, IL. My name is Bonnie.” My lips moved, as I started to become entranced by the sounds of the extremely seductive music. I felt his strong hand pull me in closer. My body began to compliment his rhythm. I was losing control.
“Well, tonight your name is Beautiful because that is exactly what you are.” He smiled intriguingly handsome, gazing auspiciously into my eyes.
How I wished it were Major right here dancing with me, turning me on with every move he made. However, the reality was that he was not. After a little while, I had become relaxed and really began to enjoy myself. I had felt like I could dance with this man forever. His motions were of a snakelike sidewinding that only exuded sex with every move. It was if he was hunting me, right there on the dance floor. Our bodies moved like the ripples of the ocean water. He never took his eyes off of mine and I locked onto his gaze, until I heard a familiar voice in my ear.
“So, I leave you alone for a few minutes and this is what you do? Act like a common whore?” Major was standing directly behind me. I about jumped out of my skin in fright.
“N-no. I was just dancing honey. I got bored,” I replied very calmly hoping to defuse whatever firecracker seemed to be lit. I wanted him to understand and know that I was not on any bullshit.
“Please let your gentleman friend know that this dance, is over. Grab your things and follow me. Now.” The rage in his voice and the evil in his eyes, told me this was not going to end well.
I did as I was instructed and followed Major to our room. I was too embarrassed to even look back at the stranger. Though I wished like hell our encounter didn’t have to end. Major said not one word. Not as we walked to the room and not once we entered it either. He came in and surprisingly, began to run bath water. He grabbed a towel and my red satin Cleo by Panache teddy along with the matching slippers, and takes them into the bathroom. He placed the items on the sink. My heart rate began to slow down, thinking I just might have been safe. This may have just been his way of apologizing for leaving me alone for so long. Maybe he wasn’t that mad after all. He removed his shirt and hung it in the hook on the back of the door. Studying his every move, I was at a loss for words. I was totally confused. He was acting different, seemingly nice.
“Major, what are you doing honey?” I stood, heading over to him gradually as my hand reached out to caress his face.
I watched as he reached up and came down hard landing his hand against my cheek like a wrecking ball to an old condemned building. I fell to the floor, holding my cheek and trying to shake the dizziness I was feeling off. My vision was slightly blurred and my mouth hurt like hell on wheels. As I tried to regain my composure and get up from the floor I had just been smacked down to, he hit me again. This time he connected with my nose. I felt the pain jolt through my body. I crawled out of the bathroom, trying to reach for the bed to pull myself up. I struggled but he was so much faster.
“I didn’t spend money on this trip for you to be out there ho’ing around. I bet if I hadn’t showed up, he’d be fucking you by now. Right?” he spewed as he grabbed a chunk full of my hair and repeatedly slapped the shit out of me.
“Major, stop. Please. I did nothing but dance.” I begged him.
“You filthy bitch. I give you everything. Everything you want. And this is what you do to me?” He grabbed my hair and with it my gold-hooped earring snatched out of my ear lobe violently. Blood began to trickle down my chest. My face stung worse than as if a hundred bees would have been the attacker. He started to drag me to the bathroom by my hair with me kicking and screaming.
“Let me go. Please stop. Let me go, Major.” I bellowed.
He got me into the bathroom and started ripping my skimpily clad clothing off piece by piece. My thin cover dress, he tore to shreds. He pulled my bikini top so hard that the strings broke. He ripped off my bikini bottoms, tossing them in the air. In one quick swoop, he picked me up off the floor and threw me as hard as he could into a tub of scolding hot water. My screams, I knew could be heard across the land. I struggled to get out but he took my face and started to use it as his punching bag again. To say that I was terrified was an understatement.
“Drown bitch. Filthy whores need to be baptized and drowned in their own juices.”
I knew I was dead. My head was completely submerged under the scalding hot water. It felt as if my skin was searing off of my face every second he held me down. His hands were like large rocks weighting my body down. I kicked, punched, and screamed but that only allowed fiery hot water into my throat sending the pain to yet another part of my body. Every part of my face and eyes burned. My arms flailed, trying to grab anything that would pull me out and save me. My legs were flinging everywhere. Water splashed all over the place. I felt myself walking into a painful death.
“Bonnie! Bonnie! Please Bonnie baby!” I awoke to Shine giving me mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. My throat stung as I coughed and I was confused as hell, hacking up water. I must have fallen into a deep sleep.
“What the fuck shorty. Damn you scared the shit out of me. I come in to apologize for how I treated you and I find your ass lying under the water, not breathing and shit. The fuck you tryin to do, kill yo self? You know I can’t take that shit, especially not right now, B.” He grabbed me and wrapped the oversized bath towel around me, simply holding me tighter than he ever had before.
It was then that I started to believe that my karma might not had been so bad at all. With the horribleness of Major out of my life for good, his death started to feel more like a dream come true. The nightmare I just had woke me up to what was real. This man, Shine, holding me. This man, my man, my heart and now my soul was just that and not the monster that I was used to being with. This man who had been like no other to me, no matter how short of time, touched me like we had been together for years. I promised myself that I would prove to him in every way possible that trusting me would be his least concern. We lay there in silence bu
t no words were needed. He knew from how I held him back, that I accepted his apology. The way that his hands caressed my body let me know that I was the most important person in his life right then. I knew at that very moment, it was Bonnie and Shine time. Ride or motherfucking die.
Ten
An hour later
Reflections
Shine
I hit the blunt hard, letting the smoke consume my lungs totally before exhaling what was left of the vapor. Bonnie’s angelic face looked like heaven as she slept. I sighed, thinking that so much had gone on in my life. I couldn’t help but think about the fact that I should’ve been dead a long time ago. I sat there in the chair, staring over at the window, a view but no scenery. Not that I was looking anyway. Just thinking though, Bonnie was like a Godsend if there ever was one. After losing Ambria and then our daughter, whom I vowed to protect, I felt lower than shit. My little girl was my pride and joy. I wanted to be to her everything my pops wasn’t to me. My pops got tired of my mom’s stepping out and said fuck it along with everything else, including me. I was only three when he walked out. Not too soon after that did one of my mom’s sidepieces end up becoming her pimp. That’s when any hope for living a normal life went straight to hell. I swear that is what my life has felt like ever since.
“Shoe Shine, my boy, come here baby,” Laverne muttered, as she puffed on her brown Marlboro cigarette. “Mr. Paul here is going to be moving in, so I need you to be a good boy when he is here.”
“But momma, you said it was going to always be just me and you. I don’t want that man to live with us. He is mean and his clothes stink.” I protested to her. I loved my momma to death but I saw her changing every day.
“Boy, you mind me you hear. Now, you’re seven years old now. It’s time for you to start acting like a man. Besides, it ain't like you payin' no bills up in here anyway. Mr. Paul makes sure ya lil' scrawny ass eats and shit. You are starting to be a lil' ungrateful and I ain't liking it none.” Laverne walked away to her bedroom, the one where Mr. Paul laid his head.
Most days, I wished my daddy would come back to get me. I prayed for him to come busting through the door and take me away from here. I took a seat on the raggedy green couch and watched, as the roaches seem to have a little meeting over on the wall. The small black and white TV only tuned to one channel and it happened to be the one that only displayed the news and old people shows. I couldn’t go outside even if I wanted to ‘cause momma didn’t like for me to be in the mist of the niggas standing on the corner of 49th and Halsted. She figured I would get caught in the cross fire of their shootouts if I went out there. But it was the only place to hang out since we lived above the corner store. While all of my friends were enjoying their summer vacation, I was stuck in the house listening to my mother fuck around in the room.
Life didn’t get any easier for me as the summer went on. Momma got so messed up in the head, thanks to Mr. Paul. While her pussy got rammed into every night by every Tom, Dick and Harry, his pockets got bigger and neither my mom nor me saw any of it. One night, she asked him for money to get a beer and all hell broke loose.
“Verne, how many times do I have to tell you it is not womanlike to be asking me for money?” he yelled to the top of his lungs.
I ran over to the corner because I already knew what was gonna happen. It was a nightly ritual that Mr. Paul would beat the shit out of my momma. If one of her johns wasn’t satisfied or it took too long for him to cum, he’d whoop her ass. The night that changed my life forever was when Mr. Paul had organized a little party with my momma as the main feast. Men were in and out of her room like it was the Citicorp Center. Every now and then, she’d be able to come out and get some water or use the bathroom. But for the most part she remained locked in that room, while I waited to see if she would come out alive. There was a knock at the front door. When I went to answer it, a bunch of burly ass men came strutting up in my moms crib like they owned the joint.
“Yeah, where the fuck is Wendell at?” one of the fat bald men fumed.
“Yo kid, what the fuck you doing up in this joint anyway? Don’t tell me you getting ya lil’ shit taken care of too.” another one joked, laughing like he was really that damn funny.
“My momma’s in the room and we don’t know no Wendell.” I proclaimed.
“Look here you lil’ mother fucker. Go get Wendell and tell his ass The Johnson brothers are here to see his ass.” the fat bald dude scoffed at me.
“I told you, we don’t know no Wendell.” I insisted before walking away. The next thing I knew, he had picked me up by the back of my shirt and twirled me around leaving us eye to eye.
“Wendell Paul. Where the fuck is he, boy?” Whatever this dude wanted with Mr. Paul it was not good.
“He in the room with my momma.” I whimpered.
He threw me on the raggedy green couch like a piece of discarded trash, while he and his henchmen headed to the back of the house. Not knowing what was going to happen, I ran up behind them, being sure to keep my distance. My momma had told me that when the parties were going on, I was not allowed near the back of the apartment. That area was off limits, but I had to see what the commotion was all about. Before I made it to the hallway, I heard a bunch of cussing and screaming. I could hear my momma screaming for help. I ran down the hall into the doorway of her room.
“Yeah, you like this dick bitch.” the fat dude snorted as he laughed. They had momma pinned down to the bed making her suck each of their dicks. Tears shed wildly from her eyes, as one of the Johnson brothers hauled off and punched her in the jaw.
“No bitch. Your man fucked up my motherfucking money and now you gon’ have to pay for it.” One of the men railed. “Now, turn her ass over, I want a piece of that ass.”
The man lifted his fat from over his pants, as he unbuckled his belt. The other men held her down while she kicked and screamed in terror. He started fucking my mom really hard in the ass prompting her to scream even louder. My fists balled into knots by my side and my breathing quickened. The fury I felt inside was immeasurable by anything I had ever felt before. I ran over and jumped on his back beating him in his face as hard as I could. I was only seven, so those punches didn’t mean much. Once he tossed me off of him sending me flying into the wall behind, I knew it was the disrespect that got me in hot water.
“Oh, lil’ motherfucker thinks he bad, huh? You tryin’ to save yo’ ho ass momma?” he sizzled. He grabbed me by my throat and started to choke the living daylights out of me.
“Roy, nah man, I got this. Let lil’ dude go.” The fat dude interposed.
He grabbed me and placed me in an old wooden chair. I was still a bit dazed, but the next thing I felt was my wrists being taped to the chair. Then, a piece of tape went over my mouth. I tried kicking, but soon failed. My legs were taped as well. Once they knew I was secured and unable to attack, they went in for the kill. They made me watch my mother being ravished endlessly. Those monsters beat her, fucked her and then made her watch them as they put pumped pure lead thru Mr. Paul’s nappy ass head. As they held her down, they cut the tape from my arms and legs; but kept it on my mouth. Roy took my face and mashed it all into my momma’s crotch.
“I’m gon’ teach your lil’ punk ass to never meddle in grown folks business. You will think about it next time you want to play captain save a hoe.” he quipped with a raspy voice.
I didn’t know why this was happening, scared out of my mind. They kept pushing and pushing until I finally jerked around like a fish out of water, enough to fall to the floor. Then I was shot. I felt a pain like no other shoot from my shoulder down to my legs. And, then there was darkness. When I awakened, I was lying next to my mother’s corpse. Her eyes were open and fixated on mine. She had been given the same fate as Mr. Paul. Lead to the head. I was in so much pain, I could barely move. I looked around to make sure those Johnson bitches were gone. When I was sure the coast was clear, I fought to get up out of the dingy bed that smelled like the worst case of
rotten ass, and made my way to the living room to find the phone.
“911. What’s your emergency?” a voice recited on the other line.
“My momma, she is dead. Please help me. They hurt me, too. Please, help me.” I cried into the phone.
As the police and paramedics flooded my house, I cried. I was alone, no parents and no other family to help me. I was unsure of what would happen to me next. At the hospital, they performed surgery on me and a few days later they sent me with the social worker to the foster home. After years of going from house to house in foster care, I finally ended up somewhere that was stable. Old lady Millie cared for a lot of boys that were in the same position as me. Aries clung to me like I was the little brother he had always wanted. We were glued like real brothers. Neither one of us had any other family, so we were like answered prayers to each other. As we got older, our bond got tighter. I would be out on the streets robbin’ niggas just to make sure we had what he wanted. The only thing that tested our friendship was the pussy.
“Man, that chick got you whipped.” Aries would tease me about Ambria.
Ambria was my soul mate. When she got pregnant with Sunshine, I knew life could get no better. The day Sunshine was born, it was so bright outside. The sun seemed like it was excited about my baby coming into the world. What better name to give her? That is what she was to me. I spent every chance I could with her because her Ambria figured the only way to make a good living for our family was to go to the army. She left despite my feelings and reservations about the shit. I hated her with a passion for it. I hated her so much for it that she wasn’t willing to leave Sunshine in my care. Instead she gave custody to her grandparents. What a big mistake that shit was.
Wondering, if I had six figures and the big house back then, would things had been different between she and I. She probably wouldn’t have felt the need to enlist and we would have been married with four or five kids running around. But they were dead and even though I had Bonnie, inside I was dead and lonely. Bonnie showered me with her love and attentiveness. However, I was simply empty, barren, and dry, which was something Bonnie couldn’t fix. No matter how many guns we blazed, no matter how much vengeance was delivered, the harsh reality of it all was that all of the women in my life, died. First my mother, then Ambria and now my Sunshine. My baby girl was my everything, and I swear if it costs me death, I will make sure every nigga pays for what was done to her. Seeing two women I love die the same miserable death had deadened my heart. Bonnie was the resurrection of it. We are a power couple. I would protect her by any means necessary and she would do the same for me. We would ride together and if we died together, at least we would be dying for a cause. And, it was about to get real in these streets. At the end of the day, it would be Bonnie and Shine. Two to never be fucked with.
