by Carol Roi
Megan ran a hand underneath her hair and massaged the back of her neck. "No, I actually came by last night about one, found you three all asleep, and crashed across the hall. You doing better?"
Blair set his mug on the table. "Me? Yeah, I'm fine. Well, not fine, fine, but physically, I'll live." He didn't mention he was still feeling stabbing pangs of guilt, despite Diandra's reassurances that Eolia's death wasn't his fault. "How about you? I mean, you were there right? I vaguely remember Jim, or Joel, saying something about you finding us."
"Yeah, I found you. Scared me out of my wits, you did, both of you passed out and unresponsive, and Dee god knows where, doing god knows what. Thank the stars you weren't hurt worse, because I sure in the hell couldn't rouse Jim out of the zone or whatever he slipped into." She ran a hand through her hair. "Can you explain to me what happened? Because Dee is no help whatsoever."
Blair picked up on the pain underlying her words. "Megan, did something happen between you and Dee?"
She blinked rapidly, and Blair could see tears glistening in her eyes. "Yeah, you could say that. Foolish me, I kind of thought this champion/companion thing was all for one and one for all, you know? And she says it is, just not when it involves Immortals."
Blair rubbed his suddenly sweaty hands on his jeans. Damn it. What in the hell could he say to that? "I'm sure Dee just felt there wasn't any reason to get you involved. I mean, who knew that everything was going to go so bad all at once? Sure, Brad was immortal, but Lee knew that, and she probably thought it was her problem and she could deal with it. She probably never imagined the four of us knew Brad for one thing, or that he would try to involve us, or go after Dee. That's why she went to the park to answer his challenge, because she considered it as being between her and him. Unfortunately, Dee didn't see it quite that way. When she was attacked on Tuesday, it became her problem. And she let you know that. Before then, I don't think she really saw whatever was going on with Lee involving her, or us." He waved his hand to let her know he was including Jim in that statement, as well as the both of them. "So, maybe she was wrong not to tell you she knew Lee, but as far as Dee knew, Lee being immortal had no bearing on your robbery case. And you have to remember, Lee was lying to her, too."
Megan stared at her finger, which was tracing an aimless pattern on the tabletop. "Maybe. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Doesn't mean I can shove what I've learned about Dee back under the bed, along with the rest of the monsters."
Blair felt his heart stop at her words. "Is that what you think of her, that she's some kind of monster? Damn it, Megan, she's been honest with you, about who and what she is, about the Game--"
The companion's head shot up, her flashing eyes boring into Blair's. "But it was a little late then, wasn't it? I was already joined, already committed before I got the 'I can't be killed by ordinary means' lecture. Sure, I suspected something, knew she was able to heal herself, but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine her having to kill others of her kind to survive. I don't know if I can live with that, with knowing she may leave one day and never come back."
Blair looked at the ceiling for a long moment, swallowing past the huge knot in his throat, then he said quietly, "You're not the only one who has to deal with that, Megan. I love her, too, you know." Getting up from his chair, he headed for the door, hearing her call out behind him.
"Oh, god, Sandy! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way!"
He knew she was hurting, but he couldn't deal with it right now; everything was closing in on him. Jim was grieving, Megan was hurt, and his own guilt felt like it was going to choke him. Opening the door, Blair left, heading for the sanctuary he knew lay across the hallway.
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He entered Dee's loft quietly, some internal instinct telling him she needed calm and serenity. He walked through the living area, sparing only a brief glance at the site of last night's battle. It was fresh enough in his memory he didn't need the sight of the missing rug and table to bring it back.
Blair found Dee in the studio, seated cross-legged on a workout mat, her hands resting on her knees, palms up, her eyes closed, and her breathing deep and even. Blair sat down on the mat across from his lover. He watched her for a few moments, but she didn't acknowledge his presence, and he knew she was deep in a trance. He wondered if she was spirit walking, if she was in the jungle, or the field where he and Megan had found her a month ago, being driven insane by her senses.
He could understand her need to meditate, to escape. He knew she regretted what she'd done, or failed to do, if only for the pain it was causing Megan and Jim. Crossing his legs, Blair closed his eyes, inhaling deeply, trying to let all the stress and guilt go as he exhaled. Consciously he matched the rhythm of his breathing to hers, feeling the loft fade around him, the air becoming hot and humid against his skin.
When he opened his eyes, Blair found himself standing in a jungle glade, the sound of flowing water filling his ears. There was a large pool in the middle of the clearing, a waterfall at one end providing the relaxing sound. He looked around, but saw no signs of anyone else. Blair eyed the water longingly. It was incredibly hot, and the pool looked so cool...and...he glanced down at himself. "I'm already naked..."
Grinning, he waded into the water, feeling the cool liquid flowing like silk over his skin. Oh, this was so good, so peaceful, so relaxing. He swam out to the middle of the pool and floated on his back, gazing up at the lush green canopy overhead. Only one thing would make this more perfect--
"And that would be?"
The soft, warm voice startled him, and Blair splashed for a moment before he saw her. "Dee!"
She was already in the pool, her wet hair slicked back, droplets of water glistening like diamonds on her skin. "I've been waiting for you," she breathed, and somehow he was in her arms, her love for him surrounding Blair.
They swam together for what felt like hours, floating in comfortable silence, then splashing wildly in a water fight. Finally she exited the pool, flopping down on the soft grass under a tree, and Blair followed her, feeling her snuggle up against him, her arm going around his waist. The heat of the sun and the still, humid air made Blair sleepy, and he closed his eyes.
When he opened them again, he was lying on the mat in Dee's studio with her curled up next to him. Her eyes were open and her gaze met his. He felt his stomach knot and twist; something was troubling her, probably the same thing bothering him. Maybe he could make it go away. Blair kissed her forehead, whispering, "I love you, angel."
Her grip on him tightened, as did the knot inside him. "Why?" Blair stared at her, wondering why she would ask such a thing. "All I seem to do is hurt you, and by extension, Jim, and Megan as well. Lee could have killed you last night; she would have if you hadn't finally stayed down. And I let her into our lives. I helped her, and she nearly killed you. I should have taken her head when we met at the church, when she first dared lay a hand on you. It would have spared all of us a lot of pain and heartache." She sat up, wrapping her arms around her knees, seemingly oblivious to the tears running down her face. "What good have I ever done you? I left you last night when you were injured, twice! How many times have you faced death because of me, because of what I am? Goddess! How selfish can I be? I should have learned my lesson the first time. I should have walked away and kept going."
Blair sat up, wanting to reach out to her, but uncertain how that gesture would be received. "Dee, no, no. You can't mean that. You can't see the future; you don't know what would have happened. If nothing else, Cristo would have killed Megan and me without you. You saved me. God, you saved me in more ways than one. You believed in me when I didn't believe in myself, didn't believe I could be a guide, could help Jim the way he needed to be helped. You love me like no one's ever loved me, completely, totally, without reservation. You never made me feel like I needed to be more than I am, that I needed to change to earn your love. I have so been there, don
e that, lost myself in someone else's vision of me. With you, I found myself. I love you, Dee." He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a hug. "I know you're hurting, baby. We all are. But please, please, stay with me."
He felt her relax in his arms, leaning her head against his shoulder, crying against his shirt. "I know Eolia was important to you, Dee. Maybe not as who she was now, but for who she was when you first met her. She represented the last bit of your life before you became immortal, but she wasn't that person anymore, angel. Last night, when she attacked you, I knew she was going to take your head."
Dee pulled back to look at him. "What?"
"That's all I could think, all I could see was her killing you, and I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't let her hurt you. God, when I picked up the sword, I wanted to kill her. I can't believe I actually thought about taking another person's life. I knew I should have taken her head; I was scared enough, angry enough, to do it. But when the moment came, I couldn't do it." He hung his head, all kinds of emotions surging through him. "Thank god, it turned out I didn't have to, that she hadn't really meant to take your head, but what if I'm put in that situation again? What if I have to kill someone to save Jim, to save you, and I can't do it? I mean, that's part of my job, isn't it, as a Guide, to protect my Sentinel?"
Blair felt her fingertips underneath his chin, lifting his head, bringing his eyes level with hers. "If Lia had really meant to kill me, Lobo, you would have known. I have no doubt you would have found a way to stop her, even if that meant killing her." Her thumb stroked across his cheek, and he felt her wipe away tears he hadn't realized were falling. "If the moment ever comes, you'll be able to do the same to protect Jim. Being a Guide, being a warrior, is in your blood, in your genes, is who you are. Everything else, even what we have together, is second to that." She leaned forward, her lips meeting his in a tender kiss.
And with that simple, loving gesture, Blair's world righted itself, and he knew they would get through this the way they'd gotten through everything else, together, Jim and Dee and Megan and himself. Dee had told him once, before Megan had become her Companion, that three was a powerful number. At this moment, Blair knew that four was invincible. Now they only had to convince Jim and Megan.
Part 25
Captain Simon Banks did not want to do this, to leave Daryl to celebrate the holiday alone again while he answered the call of The Job. At least there was a chance that the latest Myst game would keep his son from getting into too much trouble. Now, here he was, parking his sedan outside of the building one of his detectives lived in and wondering if he should approach the whole incident from the view point of the commanding officer of said detective, or as a friend.
"Aw, hell. It never is simple when Ellison and Sandburg are involved in anything. Why should it be any better when I have to question another damn Sentinel and HER guide?" Simon climbed out of the car, shrugging deeper into his overcoat as the wind kicked up again, sending shivers down his spine. Entering the building through the side entrance, he was happy to note that the elevator seemed to be back in working order, and he stepped into the lift.
Knocking on the door to Ellison's place, he thought he detected the sounds of people talking, but that stopped when his knuckles rapped on the wooden portal. The face that greeted him when the door was opened looked completely worn out, even had a few new fine lines around the light blue eyes. Lines that could be caused by either the pain that the man was obviously still feeling from the 'migraine' that he'd been hit with last night, or something deeper.
"Simon." The voice was almost toneless, but the Captain heard the listlessness that was barely concealed.
"Jim. Hate to bug you on your day off... " He stopped when Ellison waved him into the loft. Crossing the threshold, he wasn't surprised to see Sandburg, Connor and Dr. Pallas already there, seated around the dining table. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything?"
Sandburg shook his head as he stood up from the table. "Nothing much, Simon. Can I get you some coffee? Or, if you prefer, I made some fresh eggnog or wassail." The younger man slipped up behind the Captain and relieved him of his overcoat as he made his way into the kitchen.
"Real eggnog, or that 'unadulterated' crap?" Simon liked eggnog, but only if it had the rum in it that it was meant to have. The non-alcoholic stuff was for kids, and he was well past that stage of his life.
Giggles erupted, quietly, from Megan Connor who rapidly recovered her composure to answer the man's question. "Oh, it's the real stuff all right. Sandy swears that he put the 'proper' amount of alcohol in the mix, but I think the bottle may have slipped a bit more in than he had intended." She held up a short tumbler, half full of the pale, creamy mixture and toasted the man who was her boss at work.
Smiling, Simon quirked his eyebrow at the Inspector, wondering just how much eggnog the woman had already had in her system. "Tell you what, Sandburg, if you have a beer in the 'fridge, I'll take that. Seems to be the safer of the choices you gave me."
"I did offer to make coffee for you, Simon." Blair retorted as he pulled a bottle of beer from the icebox.
"Lobo, not to hurt your pride or anything, but your coffee is best used as ink, or paint remover," Diandra Pallas quipped from where she sat next to Megan.
"Hey! I'll have you know that my coffee was the most sought after drink on campus, four years running, when finals were on." He handed the cold brew to Simon as he crossed back over to the table.
Accepting the bottle, Simon followed the student, spotting the files and what appeared to be-- "Is that what I hope it is?" He pointed to the electronic device sitting in the middle of the table.
Jim nodded as he sat back down at the table. "If you're thinking that it's the missing drive from QuestScape, yes. LaFollet recovered it last night and brought it to Connor's attention this afternoon."
"How in the hell did he know where to find it?" He didn't miss the looks that passed between the four people gathered around the room. "Okay, I get the idea that I need to ask this question--do I really want to hear the truth about what happened last night, or do I want to remain in the dark?"
"We could tell you the truth, Simon." Jim looked up at his friend. "But I think you might want to 'distance' yourself from everything that happened."
Sighing, Simon Banks scrubbed his face with his free hand, then nodded. "It's one of those damn 'sentinel' things again, isn't it?"
"You could say that." Blair pulled the yellow armchair closer to the table and plunked down in it, leaving the remaining dining chair free for Simon to use. "Sit down, Simon and we'll try to answer all your questions for you."
Sitting down, after taking his first sip of beer, he started the line of questioning with a statement. "Okay, first off, I think you should know that the lab finished their analysis of the ashes that were recovered from the scene of Ms. Eolia's murder and it looks like something 'animal' was burned there. Can any of you tell me anything about that?" He didn't bother looking at the detectives or the consultant but, rather, concentrated his questioning glance on the woman who had been a suspect in a beheading a few months back.
Meeting his stare, Diandra never flinched. "Maybe someone burned their dinner in the fire when everything started to go down, Captain."
Smooth. No hesitation in her voice, galvanic responses well within the normal range. "Maybe. Tell me, Pallas, where were you last night around seven PM?"
"I was in my place, cleaning up the mess that was left behind when Lee decided to attack Blair. And, before you ask -- no. There is no one who can confirm that alibi for me."
"I already figured as much. Joel told me you were home when he brought Sandburg and Ellison home and that you appeared to have been in the midst of a cleaning spree." Simon turned to Blair. "Speaking of you, Sandburg, I read over Joel's report of your statement at the hospital. You said that Ms. Eolia had been contacted by the thief who had taken QuestScape's property?"
Blair nodded. "That's what she told me. I tried to get her to wait, eith
er for her bodyguard or Jim to show up, but she didn't seem inclined to listen to reason. When I tried to stop her from leaving on her own, she went nuts on me, basically attacking me and, once she was done, she left. I must have lost consciousness, because the next thing I recall is waking up to find Jim standing over me."
"Okay. Jim, your turn. What happened last night? Why didn't you take Sandburg to the hospital straight away, instead of dragging him all the way across town?" That action alone troubled Simon the most. Usually, Ellison was very concerned about the observer's health, and if he'd been as severely beaten as the bruises on the young man's face seemed to indicate, then the hospital should have been the first place the Sentinel had gone.
Jim tensed his jaw, grinding his teeth, and Simon could see him forcing himself to relax and answer Simon's question. "By the time I found Sandburg, we only had about ten - fifteen minutes to get to where Eolia was supposed to meet the thief that had this." He tapped the DVD-RAM drive with his finger before continuing. "Blair insisted that he was okay, sore but otherwise all right, and I felt it best to try to get to the park before anything happened. We didn't make it in time."
