Mom made sure I understood not to ask questions or anything about the club, unless the information is given on a need to know basis from day one. I didn’t even know Bender was part of a club for the first month I was here.
I’ll never forget the first time I met Tyler. It was well after I had given birth to Jace, he was already two. Tyler had come into the salon to talk to Bender. He clearly was a man who took care of himself. His eyes were roaming all over my body as I stood behind the counter answering the phone.
I held my finger up as I took a call coming through. It was someone wanting yearly pricing. He continued to gaze at my body, like he was undressing me right there on the spot.
I returned his gaze taking him in. Standing at 6’4 and weighing a good 250lbs, appearing all muscle, with a nice tan complexion, he was pleasing to the eyes. His hair was dark blackish brown, styled neatly, and he had smoldering dark eyes. The kind of dark eyes you could get lost in. Dressed in a suit, he was dead sexy. I could see the hint of a tattoo on his neck under the collar of his shirt and another on the top of his hand.
“Can I help you?” I asked after ending the call.
He smirked, contemplating his words. “Yeah, you can go to dinner with me.”
“Dinner,” I repeated the word.
“Yeah, you know…I pick you up take you to a nice restaurant and buy you a meal.” His left eye twinkled with mischief.
And that smile—hot damn, he was a charmer. I could’ve been a goner, but he was there to see Bender. A reminder that we could never date, with his being a member of the club, something I wasn’t really looking to get involved in after seeing my mother and Bender’s relationship.
I promised Faye I would start dating again. But after a blind date from hell last year, I decided I wasn’t ready to put myself back out there. Then when Faye became sick, I knew a social life was the least of my worries.
But, today is about Jace and Faye. I fear it may be the last birthday my mother gets to celebrate with us. Her health has been declining. She has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. The prognosis isn’t good.
The bills keep piling up, now that she is no longer able to work. She recently started chemo, but it has had no effect. She keeps saying I should just send her to a hospice care, but I can’t do that. I won’t.
Now isn’t the time for negative thoughts. I cannot wait to see the look on Jace’s face when he gets his cake; it is decorated to appear as if a live baseball game is being played on it. He is fascinated by sports in general. Give the boy a ball and he is content for hours. His bedroom is full of bats, balls, gloves, and helmets. Faye put decals of balls and bats on his walls. She even found him the cutest lamp to match.
This year for his birthday, I was able to find a great deal on a twin bed and sports themed bedding from a consignment shop. It’s time he starts sleeping in his own room. It breaks my heart to think he’s growing so fast, but I know I can’t coddle him too much. I don’t want him to be a sissy.
A few of his friends from daycare are coming to his party and our sweet neighbor, Caroline, who watches him when I can’t afford childcare. This fall however, he’ll be starting school. Caroline has been a blessing in my life. She is a retired school teacher, and great with Jace.
I have Jace and Faye taking a nap before the party starts so they are both fully charged and able to enjoy it.
I’m waiting for Tyler to arrive, he promised to pick up the cake and help me decorate.
He has been a really good friend to me these past few months. He isn’t looking for a relationship either, and besides he is now my boss, he manages Indigo. Besides, I get the feeling he doesn’t do relationships. In all the time I have known him, he’s never had a steady girlfriend. I get the impression he is a love ‘em and leave ‘em type.
I don’t know when we went from shameless flirting to great friends, but I can’t imagine my life without him in it.
He looks so silly coming down the street with a handful of balloons tied to his wrist and balancing a cake in his arms. I don’t mind his being around Jace since we are only friends. Though I have to admit seeing how intrigued Jace is by him makes me wonder if he is missing out by not having a permanent male figure in his life. Then again, can he miss what he’s never had?
I know I sure as hell have missed my own daddy since I moved here to live with Faye. But after I left, daddy started dating and living his life for him. I still see him when I can, but he always travels to Florida to visit me. I can’t chance a run in with Brian’s family. One look at Jace and they will know what I did—kept Brian from knowing he has a son.
I still keep up with Brian; I read things here and there online about him. He has recently gotten a divorce according to one of those gossip sites.
I don’t know if I can believe everything I read though. Brian hasn’t mentioned his troubles in the emails he sends. Although I guess a person can change a lot in a few years. I know I certainly have. I grew up quick once I had Jace depending on me. I never made it to beauty school. I take whatever job I can find that pays the most. I had thought I would draw the line at stripping, but when Tyler offered me a job, I couldn’t refuse. My mom and Jace are counting on me. Since mom got sick Bender comes around less and less. I know he hates seeing her sick and in pain, but she needs him.
I believe if he were present she’d have more fight left in her. Some days I feel she has given up all together. Especially the days she doesn’t want to even get out of bed.
Tyler and me finish setting up the decorations and refreshments. He fires up the grill and I wake Jace up to get him ready for his big day. Faye takes her place in her recliner; she spends a lot of her time in it these days.
The house we live in isn’t large, but it is decent enough for the three of us; Faye, Jace and me. It is a rental located in a quiet enough neighborhood. I would never be able to afford it on my own. It is decorated nicely—quaint, with a French Country Cottage feel to it. Most of my mother’s furniture is antiques she has collected from dealers and swap meets. You would think she is an old lady by her taste in décor.
Faye and Bender couldn’t make any more of an awkward pair. He’s leather and she’s lace.
We have a blue floral couch and yellow floors for Christ sakes and the doilies, blah. But the chandelier she put up over the dining table gives the room a modern chic vibe.
Mom paid the rent up for a year when she first learned of her cancer. I’ve only been responsible for the utilities and our cost of living, but the lease will be coming up for renewal eventually. Bender has offered to pay our bills, but my mom is too proud for that. Says she knows where he gets his money and wouldn’t feel right accepting it.
I wish she’d let him help out. Lord knows we need it. No, my mother would rather starve than take his handouts. Their relationship is a fucked up one—one I’ll never understand.
Tyler walks into the kitchen to get the hotdog wieners for the grill, and Jace instantly lights up.
“Ty,” he squeals trying to wrap his tiny hands around his huge tattooed ones.
“Hey, buddy.” He ruffles his hair. “Happy Birthday! How old are ya now? You have grown an inch since I last seen ya.”
Jace smiles a lopsided grin to match the one I have seen countless times coming from Brian. He’s following Tyler outside on his heels like he’s his shadow. It’s sweet.
I notice mom looking weepy.
“Don’t start, not today.”
“Seeing how his face lights up when he is around him, I can’t help but wonder if I made a mistake in the advice I gave you.”
“Hey, it was my decision in the end, and I stand by it. People are starting to arrive. We can talk about it later, okay?” I can hear children laughing and playing on the swing set outside through an open window.
She starts to cry. Shit! I wanted today to be a happy day. Faye has been doing this a lot lately. For some reason or another my mom has it in her head that she needs to find Jace a daddy before she dies.
&n
bsp; She needs to realize Jace has a dad. I just choose not to include him in our lives. It wouldn’t be fair for me to reach out to him now, especially with all the troubles he has. News like this might push him completely over the edge. And I don’t plan on her dying anytime in the near future.
“Faye, I know you want what is best for us, but I don’t need a man to be happy and neither does my munchkin.”
“I know that, but I just want better for him than what Jim and me gave you. I promise to be on my best behavior, but you’re a fool if you can’t see the way that man looks at you and Jace. I can see it! I don’t care if you are just friends or what his plans are. Sometimes life has a way of deciding things for you.”
“Tyler and I are only friends, and I intend to keep it that way. Besides, I. Am. Not. Ready!” I stress each word, enunciating them slowly, hoping she gets the point. Subtle and minding her own business are not two things she does well.
“It’s been well over five years Aria! I know you are hanging on to that fantasy in your head that someday you will tell Brian the truth, but life is passing you by. Don’t miss out because you are too busy hanging onto wishes on stars about what ifs!”
She slowly makes her way out the door leaving me to simmer over her statement. What she doesn’t know is that although it’s true that I haven’t spoken to Brian since we broke up, it doesn’t mean he hasn’t been emailing every so often. I have never replied to a single one of his messages, but that hasn’t stopped him from sending them.
In fact, I received his latest one a few days ago. Faye thinks I get all the information about him offline, but I hear it from him through his emails. At first, they started out telling me how he was sorry…for his behavior when we broke-up. He told me all about his new friends in college and about playing baseball for his dream team.
Then they turned into almost a journal of sorts. He began pouring his heart out to me about everything he was going through, from the pressures of trying to be the best, to falling in love again. That was the hardest to read. It was so hard at first not to reach out to him, to send one reply. Hell, just to say anything at all. When I lost Brian, it was like losing half of my heart.
Faye is right though, I have held onto hope that someday fate will cross our paths again, and he will forgive me. I have typed him the same email a hundred times. The first line is always the same, with me answering the one question he asks at the end of each message.
Brian: How do you keep on going on with your life? Because I live in the space between yesterday and today. Aria, I live in my dreams with you.
Me: I hold onto hope that one day all the stars will align and you will become mine once more. That’s what has kept me going Brian, the promise of you…
However, every time, I hit delete. I can never bring myself to press send. I should have deactivated my email long ago, but it is almost like a drug for me, my very own Brian fix. Memories of him, what once was, and what could have been, are the teardrops that stain my pillow. I feel lost somewhere between the moon and the stars.
Chapter Two
Tyler pops his head through the door. “Hey, sugar, you ready to play hostess?” I swear, every single time “sugar” rolls off his tongue I feel flushed.
“Yeah, I’m sorry, my head got away from me for a minute.”
“Faye looks great today, don’t worry about her so much.” He slaps his palm against the doorframe and gives me a minute to get myself together.
Now I feel like a selfish bitch, because my mom’s health was the last thing on my mind. Time to get my head out of the clouds and get with it, Jace is counting on me, and only me.
Stepping outside and seeing the sight of my little man surrounded by his buddies is enough to wipe all the negative thoughts from my mind. He runs over to me and says, “I love this Ma!”
Jace blows out his candles and digs into his cake and presents. Tyler excuses himself to his car and comes back with a football shaped piñata. Of course, he drives a car that displays how fucking hot he is. He drives a black ’78 Firebird when he isn’t riding his motorcycle. That car just screams “come take a ride on the wild side.” If the beautiful body of the car isn’t enough to catch your attention, the purr of the engine will give you a cargasm.
Tyler hangs the piñata low from a tree in the backyard, and all of the kids are eagerly waiting their turn to swing the bat. He tells Jace that he gets to go first because it’s his special day. Jace is already so competitive, just like Brian. He even has some of his same mannerisms, tucking the loose waves of his sandy brown hair behind his ear as he adjusts his grip on the bat and takes a practice swing. He wears a look of pure determination on his face, and his little tongue sticks out a little to the left. He drills the piñata and screams in excitement. His hair falls back in his eyes as he jumps up and down waiting for his next turn.
I know I need to have his hair cut, but this mom wants to enjoy her little man having curls just a bit longer. He is so much like his father it almost frightens me. I don’t want to think about that now though. I direct my attention to back to Tyler.
“Thank you, for everything today, you didn’t have to do all of this. I really appreciate it though.”
He smiles warmly. And gives me a side hug. “I wanted to do it, and you don’t need to thank me. I’d do anything for my little buddy and you. Tomorrow is your first night at the club, right?” I nod. “I’ll be there, so if you need anything come find me.”
I turned down his initial offer to be a dancer at the club before I caved in and accepted his final offer. The money was just too good to pass up.
He wipes a nervous bead of sweat from his brow. “Want me to stick around and help clean up, I don’t mind. I’m not picking my date up until seven.”
I don’t know why, but I feel a pang of jealousy at the thought of him having a date.
“He is your friend Aria—and your boss! Shake those thoughts right now,” I scold myself.
I clear my throat. “A date, that is…awesome!” I gush with fake enthusiasm. “You have a little bit of blue icing on your shirt, so you may want to change first.” I wipe at his shirt, feeling his muscles tense at my touch. His eyes are intense as he looks down at me, and I wonder what he’s thinking. “Who’s the lucky lady?” I ask, trying to lighten the moment.
“I haven’t met her yet, it’s a blind date. Crash set me up with her, a friend of his wife. Her name’s Crystal, I think.” He shrugs as though his date is the last thing he wants to do today.
“You think! You had better find out before you pick her up.” I teasingly punch him on the shoulder. “Go on, get out of here.”
He takes me into a bear hug, and squeezes me tight. His lips barely brush my neck in a whisper. The feeling of his warm breath against my sensitive skin makes me feel a bit dizzy. I freeze in place, unsure of how to respond. The small gesture of affection catches me completely off guard. I think he kissed me by accident, so I take an awkward step back, and place some much needed distance between the two of us. I don’t want him having this effect on me, but he has the ability to consume me. He knows it too. Part of me thinks he loves to watch me squirm.
The way he’s gazing at me gives me a feeling that he wants more than I can give him. It scares me sometimes how easily I could fall for him.
He’s been inviting me to ride with him and catch an occasional movie, but I usually don’t have the time or a sitter, outside of work. Tyler even uses Jace as bait to try and lure me out with him. The thought is sweet, but I am afraid that I’ll do something to ruin our relationship and I can’t lose another friend that I care so much about. I never was much on having girlfriends. Tyler is just easy to be around, even if he is hot as hell.
“So, have fun on your date tonight.” I punch him again and run off after Jace for an excuse to get away from him before I embarrass myself further.
When I look back he’s walking to his car with his head down.
Mom is getting up from her seat, and I rush over to her, she look
s so weak.
“What was that all about?”
“I’m not sure what you are referring to.”
“You can’t fool me girl, the two of you just had a moment back there.” My mom’s eyes narrow in on me, and I have to look away to escape her guilt. All it takes is one look from her to put me in my place.
Faye puts her arm on my shoulder, leaning on me for support. The party has taken more out of her than I thought. I motion for Caroline to help me get her in the house. The two of us get my mom settled in her recliner. I thought Bender would make an appearance but he’s a no show. I don’t know why mom bothers to talk to him at all, but she’s on the phone with him now, telling him all about Jace’s party.
Caroline offers to take Jace next door for a sleepover with her grandson. “Child, let me take him for the night. Daniel is spending the night with me, so you will be doing me a favor giving him Jace to play with.”
“All right, but if he gets whiney, give me a call, and I will walk straight over and get him.” I give her my “I mean it stare.” I don’t want him wearing out his welcome.
“We will be fabulously entertained. You should go out for once. I can check in on Faye too.” She gives my hand a gentle squeeze, urging me to live a little.
I snatch Jace’s overnight bag and send them on their way. A night out would be nice, but I don’t even know where I would go. I cleanup from the party and debate going out for dinner alone. Instead, I take a nice hot shower, and I find myself feeling curious about Tyler’s date as I wash my hair.
I wonder if he is having a good time? I hope so. Then just maybe Faye will scrub her thoughts of Tyler and me becoming something more form her mind. “Yeah, right,” I say with a snort, watching the suds swirl down the drain. If only it were that simple.
Wrapping a towel around myself, I creep into the living room, trying not to wake Faye. She looks so peaceful in her slumber. I grab my phone; it’s flashing with a new alert. Just as I am about to slide the bar across to check it, there is a light tap at the front door.
Dirty Truth (Fighting Dirty Series Book 2) Page 2
