by Joan Jonker
Her son’s hearty guffaw filled the room. ‘Oh, that’s a good one, that is. I can see he takes after his mam. Irene’s always had a quick sense of humour. George has too, but he’s not as quick off the mark as his wife.’
Aggie sighed. She didn’t like gossiping about the neighbours, but if Titch was going to be home for nearly three weeks, he’d notice things for himself. Better he was forewarned so he didn’t say anything out of place. ‘As for the Mellors, well, what’s happening in their house is anyone’s guess.’ She told him briefly what she knew, and watched him shake his head. ‘I feel sorry for Bob, and for Lucy. Their home is not a very happy one, I’m afraid.’
‘Trouble’s been brewing in that house for a few years now, Ma. Anyone with half an eye could see that. I’m surprised Bob’s put up with it for so long. Whenever we go for a pint, which isn’t often with me being away, but when we do he never mentions Ruby’s name. And as they say, silence speaks louder than words. George is full of Irene and the boys, but Bob only ever talks about Lucy. And that set the alarm bells ringing for me ages ago.’ Titch drew on his pipe and there was a look of contentment on his face. He knew he’d be craving for the sea by the time his leave was over, but right now it was bliss to sit with the mother he adored, in the house he was born in. ‘I don’t know what the solution is there, Ma, only Bob and Ruby can sort that out. And they have to have the will to do it.’
‘It’s Lucy I feel sorry for,’ Aggie said. ‘Poor little mite, always has a smile on her face even though her mother gives her a dog’s life. Mind you, Irene has brought about a few changes for her. She heard Ruby having a go at the girl one night and knocked to ask was something wrong because of all the shouting and banging. It seems to have done the trick because Irene said it’s gone much quieter. And, thanks to George, Lucy goes in their house now to play cards with the boys.’
‘Is Lucy still as pretty as ever?’
‘As pretty as a picture, son. She’ll break a few hearts when she’s older.’
‘Then I think I’ll wait for her to grow up and marry her.’
‘I’ll knit yer a wife, if yer like. That way, if yer ever got fed up with her nagging, yer could stick her in a sideboard drawer.’ Aggie began to clear the dishes. ‘I’ll get these out of the way, then yer can have the sink to spruce yerself up. I told Irene yer’d be knocking for George, so he’ll be expecting yer.’ She put the plates on the draining board, then popped her head back in the room. ‘Bob’s on early shift, so yer’ll have yer two mates to jangle to. Yer can tell them all about these girls yer’ve got in every port, and the goings-on that yer wouldn’t dare tell yer old mother about in case she clocked yer one.’
Titch chuckled. ‘If I did that, Ma, they’d both pack their bags and sign up on the next ship out of Liverpool!’
‘That’s as maybe, son. But a life on the ocean wave doesn’t appeal to everyone. Heart and hearth are what most men are satisfied with. Especially if they have a family.’
‘Yeah, I know, Ma. And in ten years’ time I might envy them. But right now I’m happy being foot-loose and fancy free.’
‘I’d better get foot-loose and see to the dishes,’ Aggie said, disappearing into the kitchen. ‘Otherwise yer won’t have time for yer usual quota of the liquid brown stuff. We can’t have yer sober on yer first night.’
‘Ma, I could drink the pub dry and still be able to put the key in the lock. And I’d never be too drunk to miss yer lips for me goodnight kiss. I couldn’t sleep without that.’
Aggie smiled as she poured hot water over the dishes. Oh, it was so good to have him home.
‘It’s great to see yer, Titch.’ George’s smile was wide when he opened the door. His words were sincere, his handshake firm. ‘And yer look the picture of health, as usual.’
‘I wouldn’t say you were exactly sickly-looking yerself, mate. Irene must be taking good care of yer.’
‘And why wouldn’t I? He’s the only husband I’ve got.’ Irene was waiting for him, her pretty face lit up and her arms opened wide. ‘Come and give us a kiss, Titch McBride. And make it a good one, seeing as yer’ve stayed away a long time.’
They embraced as two friends who had a deep fondness for each other. And his eyes looking over her shoulder, Titch glimpsed the two boys watching with interest. ‘Yer don’t mind if I kiss yer mam, do yer, fellers?’
‘I’ve got me eye on yer, Mr Titch,’ Jack said, his face deadpan. ‘Me dad gets one kiss when he comes in. I was watching to make sure you didn’t get two. Otherwise me dad would have had to go out and come back in again.’
‘Oh, if I’d known that’s how yer worked it, I’d have pinched two kisses. Maybe even three! Then yer dad would really have been grateful to me.’
Greg grinned. ‘More likely he would have belted yer one. He’s very generous, me dad, but not with me mam’s kisses.’
‘Oh, aye, I think I’m going to have a hard time in a few years. Yer mam will have three big men to make sure no one gets more than one kiss.’ Titch winked at Irene as he went to stand behind the boys’ chairs. Putting a hand on the back of each of their necks, he turned their faces towards him. ‘Anyway, don’t I get a welcome-home kiss off you two?’
The boys looked horrified as they tried to pull away. ‘Not blooming likely!’ Jack cried. ‘Only cissie boys get kissed.’
‘Gerroff!’ Greg twisted his head in an attempt to break free. ‘Ye’re not getting no kiss off me.’
It was difficult to know who laughed the loudest, Titch or George. ‘Yer’ll be singing a different tune in a few years,’ their dad said, ‘when the girls start giving yer the eye.’
Jack gave a superior smile. That time would come for him two years before his brother. ‘Ah, well, that’s a different kettle of fish. If Mr Titch was a girl, I’d have given her a kiss.’
‘Yer mean yer’d have given him a kiss,’ his brother corrected him.
‘I said if he was a girl, soft lad.’
Greg stuck to his guns. ‘If he was a girl, he wouldn’t be Mr Titch, would he? It means yer’d be kissing a total stranger, and yer can’t go round doing things like that. She’d probably slap yer face for yer.’
George was grinning as he walked into the hall for his coat. ‘They’ll keep that up all night, Titch, so we’d better leave them to it.’
‘Does Bob know we’ll be giving him a knock?’
‘I haven’t seen Bob,’ Irene said, ‘and I don’t have much to say to Ruby. If I’d known for sure yer were coming, I’d have made it me business to let him know, but nothing is definite with a sailor, is it? Anyway, I know he’ll be that delighted to see yer, he’ll have his coat on in five seconds flat.’
George kissed his wife’s cheek. ‘I won’t be late, love.’
‘Yer better hadn’t be, sunshine, or I’ll be waiting in the hall with the poker in me hand.’ Irene turned her laughing eyes on Titch. ‘If my husband has one over the eight, I’ll hold you personally responsible.’
Titch clicked his heels and gave a mock salute. ‘Aye, aye, sir.’ He put a hand to the side of his mouth and in a loud whisper, said to the boys, ‘Blimey, she’s worse than our captain.’
The two men walked into the hall with Irene at their heels. Then Titch suddenly turned around. ‘I won’t be a tick.’ He marched back into the living room and grinned at the boys. ‘How would yer like to come to first-house pictures with me one night? And we could take Lucy with us.’
‘Oh yeah, that would be the gear.’ Jack’s face was aglow. ‘Thanks, Mr Titch.’
‘Blinking fantastic!’ Greg said, leaning his elbows on the table. Then he narrowed his eyes. ‘What night?’
‘Unless yer’ve got heavy dates, we’ll make it tomorrow night, eh?’ Titch left the room with shrieks of delight ringing in his ears.
Ruby’s face was sullen when she opened the door, but it changed miraculously when she saw the two men. ‘Well, this is a surprise,’ she said, patting her hair into place and hoping her lipstick wasn’t smudged. ‘Come o
n in.’
Bob threw the paper down and jumped from his chair. Grabbing Titch’s hand he pumped it up and down vigorously. ‘Ye’re a sight for sore eyes. I didn’t even know yer were due home.’
‘Me ma didn’t know until today, and even then she didn’t know what time I’d get home.’ Titch’s eyes were fastened on the girl sitting at the table, a book opened in front of her. ‘Hello, Lucy.’
There was a smile on the heart-shaped face and a twinkle in the green eyes. ‘I bet Mrs Aggie’s like a cat with two tails. She often talks to me about yer, Mr Titch.’
‘Oh, aye? What does she say?’
Lucy’s infectious giggle rang out. ‘I can’t tell yer that, she’d have me life. But she never says nothing bad.’
Titch put on a stern look and folded his arms. ‘Now what could she say about me that was bad? I’ve got a heart as pure as the driven snow and I’m as handsome as a Greek god. Now what more could she want?’
Again Lucy’s giggle filled the room. ‘Not all gods are handsome, Mr Titch. Have yer seen the state of the God of Thunder? His face is enough to frighten the living daylights out of anyone.’
Ruby was fuming inside. She was being ignored while a chit of a girl was getting all the attention. And she was all dressed up, too, because it was one of her nights out. ‘That’s enough, Lucy,’ she said, pushing her way to stand in front of the fireplace. ‘I’m sure Mr McBride came to talk to yer dad, not you.’
‘Oh, I don’t know,’ Titch laughed, ‘her dad’s not as pretty as her.’ He winked before turning to Bob. ‘Besides, I’ve got plenty of time to talk to me mates while we’re downing a few pints in the pub.’
Bob glanced at Ruby hoping she would offer to stay in, but one look at her face told him he’d be wasting his time asking. ‘I’m afraid I can’t go with yer tonight, much as I’d like to. Ruby’s promised to go and see a friend of hers and I’ll have to stay in with Lucy.’
George raised his bushy eyebrows. ‘Can’t yer go another night, Ruby?’
If they’d asked her to go to the pub with them, Ruby would have agreed like a shot. But she wasn’t prepared to be stuck in the house when she could be out enjoying herself. ‘I’ve promised, and she’ll be expecting me.’
The miserable bitch, George thought, before saying, ‘Not to worry, there’s another way around it. Lucy can go in our house for a couple of hours. It won’t hurt her to be late going to bed for one night. Irene and the boys would be delighted to have her.’
Refusing to meet the dark look on her mother’s face, Lucy clapped her hands together in glee. ‘Oh yes, I’d like that.’
‘That’s settled then.’ George held out his hand. ‘Come on, sweetheart, I’ll take you to ours while yer dad gets himself ready.’
When Bob was in the kitchen swilling his face, Ruby eyed Titch up and down. God, he wasn’t half handsome in a rugged sort of way. Life with him wouldn’t be dull, he was a real live wire. ‘How long are yer home for?’
Titch shrugged his shoulders. ‘Seventeen, eighteen days, it depends when they send for me.’
‘If ye’re ever stuck for somewhere to go, I’m in every day and yer’d be more than welcome to a cuppa.’ Ruby’s bold eyes bored into his and she didn’t even try to mask the attraction she felt for him. ‘As I said, yer’d be more than welcome.’
Titch knew he was getting the ‘come on’, and was disgusted. If Bob hadn’t been in the kitchen, likely to enter the room any second, he would have told her the truth. That he wouldn’t touch her with a barge pole. As it was, he said, ‘I won’t be stuck for somewhere to go. Yer see, I’ll be with the only woman in the world for me. That’s me ma.’
Bob bustled in, fastening the buttons on his shirt-cuffs. ‘I’ll just run a comb through me hair, then I’m ready.’
Ruby turned her back on them to stand the fireguard in front of the hearth. ‘Don’t forget to take a key with yer.’
Bob didn’t answer. He was too angry even to look at her. Once again she’d made him look a fool. What would his neighbours think when she wouldn’t even forego a night with her so-called friends so he could go for a pint with a mate he hadn’t seen for months? The answer to that was easy. They’d think he was crazy.
He jerked his head at Titch and the two men left the room without a word.
‘Before we go in, let’s get one thing straight. The drinks are on me tonight, so I don’t want any argument. Next time, we’ll all buy our own, but tonight is my treat.’ Titch pushed the door of the saloon open and was greeted by voices from all sides. He was popular with everyone because he was so easygoing and friendly. His weatherbeaten face creased in a huge smile, he punched the air. ‘Eighteen days I’ve got! Eighteen bloody days!’ He leaned across the bar and grinned into the manager’s face. ‘Alec, by the time I go back yer’ll be a rich man. I’ll be skint, like, but you’ll be laughing sacks.’
‘Is that a solemn promise, Titch?’ Alec kept his face straight. ‘Can I give me notice in and look for a cottage in the country to buy for me and Betty?’
There was silence in the bar as men, some still wearing their cloth caps and overalls, listened in anticipation of a good belly laugh. ‘Ay, hang about there, Alec,’ Titch said, scratching his head and pretending to be deep in thought, ‘if I had enough money to spend to make yer rich enough to buy a cottage in the country for you and your Betty, I might as well buy the bloody cottage meself! Mind you, I’d help yer out as much as I could. I’m quite prepared to take your Betty along with me.’
When the laughter had died down, Titch said, ‘I’d be good to her, Alec, yer know that. I’m an old softie at heart. And think of the money yer’d save with one less mouth to feed. Yer’d be quids in, able to retire in no time. And then yer could come and lodge with us, in the cottage. I’d let yer have the spare bedroom, what’s next to the one me and Betty will be sleeping in.’
The loud laughter and cheers brought Betty down from the living quarters over the pub. She saw Titch and nodded knowingly. ‘I might have known it was the wanderer returned to the fold. It’s good to see yer, me darling.’
‘And it does me heart good to see you, sweetheart. But before I make the most important decision of me life, can I ask yer something?’
‘Fire away, Titch.’
‘When you make dumplings, are they as light as a feather?’
‘Huh! Some hope! I wouldn’t even know how to make the bleedin’ things.’
Titch shook his head sadly at the man behind the bar. ‘I’m sorry, mate, but the deal’s off. What good is a cottage in the country, with roses around the door, cows in the field, buttercups in the meadow and Betty in the kitchen not making dumplings?’ He sighed. ‘Alec, give us three pints of bitter and I’ll sit in the corner with me mates and we can cry in our beer. Yer see, I could tell by George and Bob’s faces that they were all set to come to the cottage for their holidays. We’ve all been dealt a bitter blow, all because your wife can’t cook.’
‘Ay, yer cheeky bugger, I’ll have yer know I’m a good cook.’ Betty wagged a stiffened finger while giving her husband a sly kick on his shin. ‘Alec will tell yer, he gets food fit for the King himself, don’t yer, my heart’s delight?’
Alec put the third pint on the counter. ‘Anything yer say, dearest heart.’ He held his hand out for the ten-bob note Titch was passing over the bar. Through gritted teeth, he growled, ‘That bloody brainwave of yours about the cottage just cost me a bruised shinbone.’
Titch chuckled as he picked up the three glasses in his huge hands. ‘Look on the bright side, Alec, it’s always raining in the country. Yer wouldn’t have liked it one little bit.’ He spotted an empty corner. ‘Come on, lads, let’s get supping.’
Bob and George slipped behind the table and sat on the long wooden bench that ran along the wall, while Titch perched himself on a round stool. ‘I don’t half look forward to me first day home, yer know. Seeing me ma and finding her still as fit as a fiddle, and then meeting me mates for a few bevvies.’ He lifted h
is glass, drank a third of the contents in one go, then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. ‘By, but I enjoyed that. This is the only country where yer can get a decent pint of beer.’
‘Where did yer get to on yer travels this time, Titch?’ George asked. ‘Yer were away long enough to sail around the world.’
‘We should have been home a month ago, but we ran into the worst weather I’ve ever known. There were times I thought I’d never set foot on dry land again. I’ve sailed through storms before and it’s never really bothered me. But this was something else, I can tell yer. For four days and nights the ship was tossed around like a cork. She was built in 1893, the same year I was born, so she’s been sailing for forty years. I honestly didn’t think she’d stand up to the battering she got, I kept expecting her to break up. And to make things worse, we had a full cargo and the ropes keeping it in place broke, leaving the bloody lot to slide all over the place. We couldn’t do a thing about it either, because it would have been suicidal for anyone to venture on deck to get to the hold. They’d have been washed away by waves that were higher than the ship. It was a ruddy nightmare, and one which I wouldn’t like to repeat.’ Titch saw the rapt expression on his friends’ faces and grinned as he picked up his glass. ‘Still, I’ve lived to tell the tale, haven’t I?’
Bob shook his head, ‘Rather you than me, mate. I feel seasick just thinking about it.’
‘Nah, I’ve never been seasick. Green in the face, maybe, but never sick. Anyway, the old ship was badly damaged, and when we got to India it had to go in dry dock for repairs. That’s why I’ve been away so long, but for God’s sake don’t tell me ma or she’ll worry herself silly every minute I’m away.’ Titch finished his pint off and nodded to his two mates to drink up. ‘By the way, me ma wouldn’t come with me tonight because she thinks I tell yer all about the girls I’ve got in every port. And the things I get up to that I wouldn’t dare tell her about because she’d clock me one.’
