by Joan Jonker
‘I won’t.’ Lucy’s legs were as heavy as lead as she walked the few steps to her front door. She didn’t have a key, so she lifted the knocker hoping her dad would open the door.
‘Ye’re late, pet.’ Bob had never found it so hard to keep a smile on his face. ‘I was beginning to worry.’
‘I’ve been talking to Mrs Aggie and Mrs Pollard. Yer know yer don’t have to worry about me, Dad, I can look after meself.’
‘I know yer can, pet, but it doesn’t stop me from worrying. Yer mind plays funny tricks on yer when someone’s late, and yer start imagining all sorts of things.’ Bob glanced towards the kitchen where Ruby was frying bacon and eggs for their tea. There had been a deathly silence since the flare-up; not one word had been exchanged between them. It wasn’t the sort of atmosphere for a young girl to spend any time in. ‘Are yer playing out with Rhoda when yer’ve had yer meal?’
Lucy shook her head. ‘She’s gone to visit her grandma and won’t be back till late. I might go next door for a game of cards to pass the time away.’
‘Yer know, I might just come with yer. D’yer think Mrs Pollard would mind?’
‘I’ll go and ask.’ Lucy was out of the room like a shot, and Bob was just as quick making it to the kitchen.
‘If yer start acting up in front of Lucy, I won’t hesitate to tell her what yer’ve been up to. And then I’ll go and tell all the neighbours. And don’t underestimate me this time, Ruby, because I mean every word I say.’
Ruby moved away from the stove and the spurts of fat shooting out from the frying pan before fixing him with her eyes. She didn’t say one word, but her look spoke volumes. Bob knew if her thoughts were put into words, they would be to tell him he was a stupid bugger and to sod off. And her dumb insolence brought his blood to the boil. ‘Another thing,’ he said. ‘You don’t go over this door tonight. If yer do, yer’ll not get back in because I’ll bolt up before I go to bed.’
Bob entered the living room as Lucy came in from the hall. ‘Mrs Pollard said to tell yer yer’ll be very welcome. But yer’ve got to take six buttons with yer.’
‘Oh, dear. I’ll have to empty all the drawers and see what I can find.’
‘I’ll lend yer them, Dad, ’cos I’ve got loads. Yer see, I win more than I lose.’ Lucy put her arms around his waist and hugged him. ‘Yer’ll enjoy yerself ’cos we do nothing but laugh.’
Bob could hear Ruby muttering in the kitchen. He couldn’t make out what she was saying but knew whatever it was wouldn’t be complimentary to him or their daughter.
Ruby was snoring on the couch when Bob crept through the living room the next morning and he closed the kitchen door quietly behind him so as not to wake her. After striking a match under the kettle he cut two slices of bread and put them under the grill to toast. While he was waiting for the kettle to boil, he swilled his hands and face in the sink, donned his working clothes and combed his hair. Then with a cup of tea in one hand and a piece of toast in the other, he leaned back against the wall. What a way to start a working day, standing up in the kitchen eating his breakfast. Still, he’d had the comfort of the bed to himself, even if he didn’t get much sleep. With his mind being so active, it must have been one o’clock before he’d managed to drop off.
Draining his cup, Bob put it in the sink before slipping on his jacket. Then he looked around for his carry-out box. He spied it on the small larder-shelf next to the stove and reached for it. As soon as he picked it up he knew it was empty. But not wanting to believe it, he opened the lid. There wasn’t even a crumb inside. He closed his eyes and counted to ten, trying to calm himself down, but it was no use, his temper was too high. She was deliberately provoking him, going out of her way to anger him. But how did she expect to get away with it? Surely she must know that one day he’d snap.
With the box in his hand, he went through to the living room and shook Ruby’s shoulder. ‘Where’s me carry-out?’
Her eyes heavy with sleep, she gazed at him as though she didn’t know what was going on. Then it all came back to her, the reason for her being on the couch. ‘What?’
‘I said, where’s me carry-out?’
‘Oh, I forgot.’ Ruby turned on her side, away from him. Not for one moment did she think he’d do any of the things he said he would. Wasn’t Wally always telling her how beautiful she was, with a wonderful figure and personality? And how lucky her husband was that she’d married him when she could probably have had her pick from hundreds of men? His constant flattery had filled her head with grand ideas about herself, and had her believing that Bob was indeed a lucky man to have her. And he knew it. That’s why he wouldn’t carry out his threats. ‘Do it yerself, it won’t kill yer. Ye’re big and ugly enough.’
Bob stood looking down at her curled-up form, his empty carry-out box in his hand. There was something mentally wrong with his wife. There had to be, the way she was acting. No one in their right senses would behave like her and expect to get away with it. He sighed as he quickly made his way back to the kitchen to cut some sandwiches to take to work.
Elsie Burgess glanced across to where Bob was sitting. ‘How’s the old tummy today, lad? Still got the collywobbles, have yer?’
‘No, it seems to have settled down now, thank goodness. I hope so, anyway, because it’s not to be recommended.’
‘Ye’re telling me! I told yer I had it, didn’t I? And it was bloody awful. I put it down to some corned beef I got from the corner shop.’
‘But the rest of the family didn’t have it, did they?’ Peg Butterworth said. ‘Yer all had the corned beef, so it couldn’t have been that what caused it.’
Elsie’s look was one of disdain. ‘Excuse me, queen, but who was the one what was vomiting every five minutes, you or me? And who, pray, is the one telling the bleedin’ story, you or me?’
‘Oh, all right, be like that!’ Peg huffed. ‘Pardon me for breathing.’
‘I don’t mind yer breathing, queen, as long as yer do it silently and it doesn’t interfere with me talking. Nothing puts me off me stroke more than someone butting in.’ Convinced there would be no further distractions from her friend, Elsie turned her attention to Bob. ‘I was in a right mood when I went back to the shop and told Tom Black it was his corned beef what had made me sick. I said I wanted me money back or the goods replacing. I must have raised me voice a little, yer know how yer do. Anyway, his wife Sheila came through from the back room and stood next to her husband. “That’s funny,” she said, all sarcastic like. “There was nothing wrong with your feller when he came in for his ciggies. And I’ve seen all the kids playing out, looking happy and healthy.”’
Elsie took a mouthful of tea before picking up the thread of her story. ‘I told them it hadn’t affected the others, but it had made me really ill and I wanted me money back or the goods replacing. Sheila opened her big mouth, ready for a fight, when Tom put his hand on her shoulder. “Leave it, I’ll give her the corned beef. It’s not worth arguing over.” I was over the moon, thinking I wouldn’t have to worry about what to have for our tea. I watched Tom pick up the corned beef and take it to the slicing machine. Then he cut one slice off, put it on a piece of greased paper and brought it to where I was standing. I thought he was showing me how nice and lean it was, and I said it would do fine. The next thing I know, he’s wrapped the slice up and was handing it to me. Well, I blew me top, didn’t I? I said I’d bought six slices of the meat and I wanted six back. And d’yer know what the smart arse said? “Ah, but there was nothing wrong with five of the slices. And I’ve only your word that there was anything wrong with the one you had. I’m only giving you this as a goodwill gesture.”’
Another mouthful of tea was required before Elsie could continue. ‘I was hopping mad and said I had a good mind to wrap it round his bleedin’ neck. As cool as a cucumber, he said, “In case yer haven’t noticed, Elsie, I take a size eighteen collar. That slice of corned beef would just about cover me Adam’s apple.”’
When Elsie delved
into her box, brought out a sandwich and proceeded to chew at it, Billy Gleeson looked most put out. ‘Come on, Elsie, yer didn’t leave it at that, did yer?’
‘The shop had filled up while this was going on, Billy, and everyone was having a good laugh. So I laughed with them, ’cos by this time I could see the funny side of it. I told Tom he was a gentleman, grabbed me slice of meat and legged it home before he changed his mind. After all, I couldn’t prove it was his meat made me sick. I could just as easy have been the fried egg I had for me breakfast. When I cracked it open I thought it ponged a bit, but I ate it just the same. I mean, yer can’t waste food just because it doesn’t smell as sweet as honey, can yer?’
‘Elsie Burgess, yer should be ashamed of yerself.’ Peg clicked her tongue on the roof of her mouth. ‘Yer’ve let the whole street think that Tom sold yer meat that was off. I think yer should tell him the truth.’
The table began to bob up and down as Elsie’s body shook with laughter. ‘Wouldn’t make no difference, queen, ’cos I bought the bleedin’ egg off him too!’
Bob was wishing he had Elsie’s capacity for laughter when he saw Kate trying to catch his attention. She gave a brief nod and he nodded in reply.
‘Me mam doesn’t know anybody who takes in lodgers, not with two spare bedrooms, anyway. But she said she’ll keep her ears open. Sometimes people put cards in shop windows for that sort of thing, so we’ll both be looking out. What I wanted to tell yer was that our Audrey and Howard visit me mam every Sunday without fail. So I’ll make it me business to go round and have a word with Howard. Unless, of course, yer’ve had a change of heart?’
‘I’m more determined than ever, Kate.’ Bob related the blazing row he’d had with his wife. How she had admitted going with a man and wasn’t a bit ashamed or repentant. And how she’d laughed in his face when he told her to pack her bags and get out of his house. ‘Then when I asked her this morning where me carry-out was, she told me I was big and ugly enough to do it meself.’
‘Do yer mind if I tell Howard all this? Just to put him in the picture?’
‘He’ll have to know, won’t he? Otherwise he won’t know whether he can help me.’
‘Have yer told Lucy, yet, Bob?’
‘No, I thought I’d leave it until something turns up.’
‘I don’t think ye’re being fair to her. She has a right to know. Yer can’t just take her away from her friends, and the school she goes to, without giving her some advance warning. And yer should ask her how she feels about it. After all, she’s not a child any more, and she might not take kindly to being uprooted from everything she’s used to. It’s her life, too, and I think she should have some say in the matter.’
‘I’ve thought of all that, Kate, but I wouldn’t know where to start. Lucy knows Ruby’s not a good mother and leads us both a dog’s life, I don’t need to tell her that. But how to explain the reason and the urgency for me wanting to leave her so suddenly – well, I don’t know. How do I explain that her mother’s done something so bad I can no longer stand being in the same house as her? Perhaps I’m a coward, Kate, but I just couldn’t bring meself to explain that to a thirteen-year-old girl.’
‘What about yer friends, Mrs Aggie and Irene? They know Lucy well and could perhaps give yer some advice. But don’t just leave things as they are, Bob, because yer might find yer daughter will come to resent yer if yer turn her life upside down and don’t even bother telling her why. And I know yer love her too much to want that to happen.’
There was understanding and sympathy in Kate’s eyes as she moved away from the wall of the corner shop. ‘Do it, Bob, or yer might regret it for the rest of yer life.’
Chapter Twenty-Two
‘So, there yer have it. Word for word.’ Bob pushed his finger along Aggie’s green chenille tablecloth, causing the tufts to form a furrow before springing back up again. He’d just finished repeating the conversation he’d had only half an hour earlier with Kate and he looked now to Aggie and Irene for their reaction. ‘I think what Kate meant was that I was being selfish for not taking Lucy’s feelings into account.’
‘If she knew Ruby, she wouldn’t think yer were selfish, Bob. I don’t know any man who would have been as patient as you’ve been.’ Aggie leaned her elbows on the table. ‘But I’ll go along with her on everything else she said. Of course yer should tell Lucy, she’s got every right to know.’
‘I agree.’ Irene kept clasping and unclasping her hands with nerves. ‘I’ve thought about nothing else since last night. Yer can’t just spring something on the girl like that, it wouldn’t be fair.’
Bob sighed. ‘I know yer couldn’t say anything when we were playing cards last night, Irene, but did yer get a chance to mention it to George?’
‘When we were in bed.’ Irene nodded. ‘We were still talking about it at midnight. He got the shock of his life when I told him, but he’s of the opinion that what ye’re thinking of doing is crazy. He said if he was in your position he wouldn’t be asking Ruby to pack her bags, he’d pack them for her and then throw them in the street. Any woman who was unfaithful to her husband would get short shrift from George.’
‘I should bleedin’ well think so,’ Aggie huffed. ‘Anyway, are yer going to tell Lucy?’
‘As I told yer, Kate thought I should talk to you and Irene. She knows yer think the world of Lucy, and that she loves and trusts both of yer. So I’m doing as she advised and asking yer to help me do what’s right for me daughter.’
‘The right thing would be to put her in the picture straight away. I think yer’ll find she knows a lot more than yer think,’ Irene told him. ‘She’s quite grown up for her age, and she’ll understand what yer’ve had to put up with. But as for yer taking her away from here, well, I think she’ll be devastated. It’ll break her heart.’
‘I realise that, Irene. But is Lucy grown up enough to understand that her mother has committed the worst sin any woman can commit against her husband? And that is why just being in the same room as Ruby makes me feel physically sick? That is something Lucy would have to be told so she doesn’t think I’m disrupting her whole life through spite or childishness. But I don’t think I’ve got the guts to tell her.’
Irene glanced at Aggie, her eyes questioning. It was her neighbour’s slight nod that caused her to say, ‘Me and Lucy get on well together. We tell each other secrets and share confidences. Nothing of any consequence, like, but she trusts me. And she trusts Aggie. How about if we have a word with her? I could say you’d called in on yer way home from work and told us, and me and Aggie thought we’d get to her first so she wouldn’t be embarrassed when you speak to her. We’d be very diplomatic, we wouldn’t upset her.’
Bob ran his fingers through his mop of dark hair. That he was a man in torment could be seen in his brown eyes. ‘I know yer wouldn’t upset her, Irene, or you, Aggie. She loves the bones of both of yer. But d’yer think my letting yer do me dirty work for me, makes me what Ruby said I am – spineless?’
‘Don’t be stupid, Bob Mellor,’ Aggie said with feeling. ‘The only trouble with you is ye’re too much of a bleedin’ gentleman. Any other feller, Ruby would have been out on her backside ages ago. Anyway, with regards to Lucy, I think it would be better coming from me and Irene. Woman to woman, like.’
‘And we’ll do it today and be done with it,’ Irene said. ‘When it’s all out in the open and we see how Lucy takes it, I might be able to get some sleep tonight.’
‘We’ll watch for her coming home from school.’ Aggie turned to glance at the clock. ‘It won’t be long now, so I suggest yer take yerself off, Bob, and come back about a quarter to five. That should give us plenty of time.’
It was Aggie who opened the door to Bob. As he stepped into the hall she raised her brows and whispered, ‘Ye’re in for a shock, lad.’
He didn’t have time to question her before Lucy came flying out to put her arms around him. She stood on tiptoe to kiss him. ‘I love you, Dad.’
‘
And I love you, pet.’ Bob could see she’d been crying and was filled with guilt. He should never have let things get this far. A firm hand had been needed with Ruby years ago, but he’d opted to put up with her antics for an easy life. ‘Let’s go in and sit down, me feet are killing me. I’ve been walking the streets for the last hour.’
Aggie’s voice was high with surprise. ‘Yer mean yer haven’t been home?’
‘I can’t stand being in the house when Lucy’s not there. We’ll go home together when we’ve finished here.’
Irene was sitting hunched up at the table, her hands clasped tightly. ‘I’ve got me dinner on the stove on a low light, so I’m all right for a while. Greg’s going to keep an eye on it to make sure it doesn’t burn.’
Aggie set her rocking chair in motion. ‘We’ve had a good talk with Lucy, haven’t we, sweetheart? And I think she’s got something to tell yer.’
‘I can see yer’ve been crying, pet,’ Bob said, from his seat on the couch. ‘I’m sorry yer’ve been upset, yer know I’d do anything rather than hurt you.’
Lucy had chosen to sit on one of the wooden chairs next to Irene. ‘It’s not your fault, Dad, I’d never blame you. It’s me mam what’s caused all this, she’s been horrible to yer.’
‘So yer understand why I’ve got to get away, then? I can’t stay with her any longer, pet, you must see that. And if I threw her out, which is what she deserves, she’d cause ructions in the street. And I wouldn’t put it past her to come and cause trouble for me at work. You know her well enough to know that we’d never have any peace from her. I don’t want that for meself, and I don’t want it for you.’
‘I understand all that, Dad, and I can see why yer don’t want to live with her any more. But it’s not only you she’s treated badly. She’s never been a proper mother to me, always shouting at me and hitting me. I can’t ever remember her once, in all me life, saying anything nice to me. I’ve never told yer all this because I knew yer had enough to put up with. But I’ve had bruises all over me body where she’s hit me, and scratches. And me head’s been sore where she’s pulled at me hair. She’s very sneaky, she never hit me where you would be able to see the bruises. It was always on me body, where no one could see. But Mrs Pollard’s seen them, haven’t yer, Mrs Pollard?’
