“Please, don’t remind me,” Toots said, grinning broadly. Goebel Blevins, a former New York City detective turned private eye, had assisted them in locating Chris Clay, Toots’s stepson, when he disappeared after preventing the now-infamous B-grade actress Laura Leighton from setting fire to World Con Studios. The two-bit actress had learned that she would not be reprising the role of Ella Larsen in Bloody Hollow Two, the successor to a teen horror flick that, through a fluke of luck and crazed teenagers, had become one of the hottest movies over the summer. Luckily for Ms. Leighton, her disappearance and the news that she was not to play Ella Larsen again led to her teenage fans picketing the studio, which promptly changed its mind and gave her the part.
Toots had suspected that Ida was planning to seduce Goebel, who’d already laid claim to Sophie. Since his feelings for Sophie were reciprocated, Toots decided that she had to do something. So, she’d called Ida’s new hairstylist and asked her to give Ida Hollywood’s most popular hairstyle. When Ida returned from the salon a few hours later, she sported spiked hot pink hair.
Ida glared at Sophie. “I knew you would never forget that.”
“Stop, girls! Ida has reached another pinnacle on the ladder of success. The least we can do is hear her out,” Mavis insisted.
“Mavis is right. Let’s listen to what Ida’s been up to. I, for one, am curious where she found the time to work on another project,” Toots replied.
Jamie chose that moment to place the platter of warm cinnamon rolls on the table, along with plates and forks. “I can leave if you girls need some privacy.”
“No, you’re family now. Whatever Ida has to say is for your ears, too. Right, Ida?” Toots asked.
Ida looked at Jamie and gave her a genuine smile that reached her eyes. “Of course you can stay. This might be something you’ll want to take note of now, while you’re still young enough.”
Jamie nodded and took a seat beside Toots.
Sophie spoke up. “We’re all ears.”
Ida cleared her throat and viewed the women as though she were about to address the nation. “Cosmetic companies are not, in point of fact, required to register their cosmetics establishments with the FDA. Even companies that produce cosmetics for the living.” Ida stared fiercely at Sophie, as if trying to make sure she was listening to every single word she said.
“Companies are mandated to register their establishments. Once they do that, they then file what’s called a Cosmetic Product Ingredient Statement with the FDA’s Voluntary Cosmetic Registration Program, commonly referred to as VCRP. From there, the FDA often inspects these facilities in order to ensure that the cosmetics are safe and to determine that the cosmetics are not adulterated—”
“What the hell did you just say? Please tell me I heard you wrong? I know you just said something about adultery,” Sophie interjected before allowing Ida a chance to finish explaining the ins and outs of her new venture.
Toots burst out laughing. “Sophie! She isn’t talking about adultery. It’s adulterated, meaning debased by the use of foreign or inferior materials. Right, Ida?”
“Yes, Toots. Sophia Manchester, I know you must be the only woman alive who manages to insinuate something sexual into every conversation you have.” Ida’s eyes twinkled.
“Oh, shoot, I know. I’m just yanking her chain, okay?” Sophie explained. “I can’t help it if she sets herself up for stuff like this.”
Toots rolled her eyes. “Go on, Ida. Please finish explaining what this entails.” Toots turned to Sophie. “And please, let her speak without interrupting.”
“Yes, your frigging highness,” Sophie shot back.
Toots flipped Sophie the bird, their usual silent method of communication. Sophie followed suit, using both hands. Jamie laughed out loud. Mavis giggled, and Ida simply pursed her lips.
“If you’re going to make fun of me, I’m not going to tell you anything.” Ida directed her fiery gaze at Sophie, then Toots.
With mock seriousness, her tone that of a drill sergeant, Toots ordered, “Yes, everyone, let’s all be quiet and give Ida the floor.”
Immediately, Sophie saluted Toots, letting her know she “got” her. Toots gave a shake that only Sophie could see, then mouthed, “Not now.”
When Ida saw she finally had her friends’ undivided attention, she resumed her explanation. “I’ve had a panel of testers trying the products, and they all agree, they’re top of the line when it comes to smoothing out wrinkles and fine lines. We’ve added the secret ingredient to the makeup as well, so the consumer will really be getting much more than just a facial cream. All the lipsticks, eye shadows, blush, and foundations will have it, too. Plus, I’ve added an SPF factor of fifty. The Home Shopping Club doesn’t accept just any company. Their criteria are quite rigorous. Of course, they’re aware of the chemists I worked with, so they know that the quality of my cosmetics and creams is outstanding.”
“And we would expect nothing less from the queen of beauty,” Sophie added. “Dead or alive. So what is your secret ingredient?”
Ida smiled. “Pumpkin.”
“OMG, I can just see it all now, women out there during the holidays, trying to watch their weight and resorting to licking the makeup off their faces. Pumpkin pie, yum.”
“Sophie! You should be proud of Ida’s accomplishments!” Mavis exclaimed in her usual perky voice.
Sophie refilled her mug. “And who says I’m not?”
Mavis appeared crestfallen. “You were . . . a bit harsh, that’s all. And I’ve heard pumpkin has wonderful purifying qualities.”
“She’s a smart-ass to everyone. You should know that by now, Mavis,” Toots reminded her friend. “Sophie wouldn’t be Sophie if she were nice like the rest of us.”
Sophie took a loud slurp of coffee before answering. “Well, you can just kiss my wrinkled old ass! I am, too, nice. Just ask Goebel,” Sophie informed them. “He likes me just fine.”
“Hey, stop that right this minute! That’s my line, and you can’t have it,” Bernice said as she entered the kitchen.
“Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle,” Toots said, a grin the size of the moon on her face. Then, just as quickly as it appeared, a frown took its place. “You are not supposed to come downstairs without assistance. Next thing, you’ll have a broken hip. And then we’ll be changing your diapers.”
Since Bernice’s bypass surgery, Toots and the godmothers had been super careful, making sure that Bernice wanted for nothing and did only what the doctor allowed. Walking up and down the staircase was not on the list. A stair lift was going to be a must.
“I wanted a cup of coffee. If I waited on your lazy butts to bring it to me, I’d be as good as dead.”
“She’s feeling better,” Toots said dryly. “And it isn’t even dawn.” Toots glanced over her shoulder, just to make sure. “Yet. You’re supposed to rest today, or did you forget that, too? We have an entire afternoon of rehab ahead of us. You need to be well rested, Miss Smarty Mouth.”
“Just think of all the stress and strain you’re putting on your wrinkled ass. Maybe with all this rehab, you’ll firm it up a bit,” Sophie tossed in.
Everyone laughed, including Ida.
“See what I mean? She always has to speak of a . . . a body part! You really need to get a life, Sophia,” Ida said in her know-it-all voice. “You need something other than ghosts and goblins to occupy your time. Isn’t anyone interested in what else I have to say?”
“Nope, not me.” Sophie turned to Bernice, who’d seated herself next to Mavis. Jamie poured Bernice’s coffee and plated a cinnamon roll for her.
“Did I hurt your feelings, Bernice? Tell the truth.” Sophie asked, her voice laced with concern.
“Oh, for crying out loud, you didn’t hurt my feelings at all. What hurts my feelings are those dirty plates next to the sink. If someone doesn’t hurry up and put them in the dishwasher, I’ll have no other choice but to do it myself.”
Toots, Sophie, Mavis, and Jamie practically
leapt across the kitchen, where they each took turns putting a dirty dish in the dishwasher.
“Thank you. All of you. Well, not all of you,” Bernice said, directing her gaze at Ida, who remained at the head of the table, sipping her coffee.
Again, the group of women giggled like a bunch of schoolgirls.
Ida had the grace to appear chagrined. “Just so you know, I did bring the pot of coffee to the table.”
Another chorus of laughter.
As was the norm, Toots took control of the conversation. “And it’s appreciated, really. Now, I, for one, want to hear more about The Home Shopping Club deal. Who knows what it could lead to? Maybe you’ll become famous touting your old-age cosmetics.”
“At least they’re not for dead people. That’s a real bonus,” Bernice stated. “How you can put makeup on a dead person is beyond my comprehension.” She shook her head and pushed the cinnamon roll aside. “Jamie, you know I can’t eat this.” Bernice moved her plate across the table, in front of Toots.
Jamie’s face reddened. “Oh, Bernie,” she said, using her pet name for the older woman, “I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry. I’ll make something for you later. A heart-healthy dessert. And I promise not to tempt you again.”
Bernice waved her hand in the air. “Forget about it, kid. It’s up to me to resist temptation. But for the record, let me know when you’re baking. I’ll sit on the porch and keep an eye on Mrs. Patterson’s place. Something is about to take place over there, and it’s not gonna be pretty.”
“You’ve been saying that since you came home from the hospital. What exactly do you mean?” Sophie asked for the millionth time.
Bernice hadn’t been herself since the surgery, and they were terribly concerned about her.
Bernice rolled her eyes. “I’m not psychic. That’s your gig, Sophia. I’ve told you all a dozen times. Something big is going on over there. For the hundredth time, I died on that damn operating table, and I don’t care what that doctor says. I died and was told to return so that I could keep an eye on that place.” Lest anyone doubt which place she meant, Bernice tilted her head toward the large property next door.
“You should let Sophie read the tarot for you. She’s good, knows her stuff. If anything is about to take place, she’ll know. Right, Soph?” Toots asked.
The old woman shook her head so hard that wisps of gray hair came loose from her tightly wound bun. “No! You know I don’t believe in all that mumbo jumbo. I know what I was told to do, and it didn’t involve a bunch of crazy old ladies with a deck of cards and a glass.”
Mavis giggled.
Ida raised her chin a notch higher.
Toots and Sophie grinned, and Jamie, as usual, didn’t utter a word.
Photo copyright © 2006 by M2IFOTO
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
FERN MICHAELS is the USA Today and New York Times bestselling author of the Sisterhood, Men of the Sisterhood, and Godmothers series, and dozens of other novels and novellas. There are over seventy-five million copies of her books in print. Fern Michaels has built and funded several large day-care centers in her hometown, and is a passionate animal lover who has outfitted police dogs across the country with special bulletproof vests. She shares her home in South Carolina with her four dogs and a resident ghost named Mary Margaret.
Visit her website at fernmichaels.com.
WINTER WISHES
This winter, let four tales of mistletoe magic and the spirit of the season cast a special glow as some of your favorite authors introduce stories of hope, happiness, and holiday hearts.
CHRISTMAS KISSES
Fern Michaels
Starting over in a new town with a new job, Meredith thinks buying Noah’s grandmother’s house will be a simple business deal. But neighborly Noah is determined to make Meredith feel at home—and as the holiday season works its magic, he’s suddenly hoping that she’ll find a place for him in her heart.
BLUE MOON HARBOR CHRISTMAS
Susan Fox
Jillian and Michael have nothing in common—except the child two reckless college students created eight years ago. When Michael unexpectedly asks to meet his son, they have the twelve days of Christmas to get to know the adults they’ve become—adults who just might be ready to fall in love for real.
SECOND CHANCE CHRISTMAS
Jules Bennett
A blind date turns out to be anything but when Ruby finds Knox on her doorstep. A few years ago, she nursed his dying wife. Can two lonely people defeat the shadow of the past and let the spirit of Christmas offer them the most special gift of all?
FINDING COLIN
Leah Marie Brown
When Grace is suspended from work over the Christmas holidays, she does the only sensible thing—she travels to Ireland to find her favorite actor! But while the Colin she finds may not be a star, he’s ready to show her that gifts come in all shapes and sizes—and love is the miracle that truly counts.
HOLLY AND IVY
In a heartwarming novel of secret wishes and family lost and found, acclaimed New York Times bestselling author Fern Michaels creates a timeless Christmas story to cherish . . .
The flames of memory always seem to glow a little brighter during the holidays. Perhaps that’s why this time of year is so difficult for airline heiress Ivy Macintosh, as she faces thoughts of yet another festive season alone. Since the plane crash that claimed the lives of her husband and two children eight years ago, she’s been submerged in grief.
When eleven-year-old Holly Greenwood knocks on her door, lost and frightened after a forbidden visit to her singing teacher, Ivy’s self-imposed exile is shattered. Holly has an extraordinary voice, and wants nothing more than to perform in an upcoming Christmas musical. Holly’s father, Daniel, doesn’t allow music in their home, refusing to give a good reason why—just as he refuses to talk about Holly’s mother. Ivy has no idea how closely she and Daniel are linked by their tragic pasts, yet she’s drawn to the warmth she senses beneath his gruff exterior. And as Christmas nears, their shared concern for Holly begins to draw Ivy back into the world again . . . and toward a family who may need her just as much as she needs them . . .
PERFECT MATCH
The Heart of a Winner
Confined to a wheelchair after a devastating injury, former NFL star Jake Masters has exiled himself behind the imposing gates of his lavish home. But his twin sister, Beth, has no intention of letting him languish there forever. After years of one failing business after another, all bankrolled by Jake’s generosity, she now owns a highly lucrative matchmaking service. And she’s gifting the business to Jake—whether he likes it or not—while she follows her dream of becoming a singer in Nashville. But Jake knows next to nothing about matchmaking, and it’s soon clear that he needs an assistant. Enter Gracie Sweet, whose slender frame belies a take-charge toughness that would put any linebacker to shame. Gracie begins by revamping the business and soon she’s overhauling Jake’s entire life. But when their clients become victims of theft, Gracie and Jake must reconcile their very different outlooks if they’re to have any chance of saving the business . . .
Need to Know Page 25
