by KB Winters
“Holly!” she squealed as soon as she picked up. “I miss you!”
I laughed. “I miss you too, Rach.” The background was noisy but I couldn’t place any of the sounds. “Where are you?”
“Roller skating rink,” she answered as though it were the most natural thing in the world.
I laughed. “On a Wednesday afternoon?”
“It’s a team building thing. We closed the office early and all came down here for the afternoon. We have two new hygienists on staff and a new receptionist. Dr. Waverly doesn’t know why we keep going through new staff. He thinks a monthly outing will help with turnover.” She scoffed. “Really, he’d get a lot farther dumping the money from these things into his employees’ bank accounts. But hey, what do I know?”
Rachel worked at an upscale dental office, right on the beach, and while business was booming, the dentist who ran the place didn’t seem to realize that having a practically ocean-side clinic required that the staff made enough money to afford to live in or around Newport Beach.
“But enough about work drama. How’s life? I need to get up there and see you again soon. When are we going to start scoping out bridal shops? I can’t wait to see you try on some wedding dresses!”
I smiled. “Soon. I promise! You remember the accounting job I was telling you about?”
“The one working for the hot rich dude?”
“I’m pretty sure those weren’t my exact words, but yes.”
“You said he was absurdly good-looking, which is code for he’s hot as fuck, but I have a fiancé.”
I burst out laughing and missed Rachel all over again. Back when I’d lived in Orange County, we were inseparable, spending more nights together than apart during the week, despite California’s beastly traffic and the half an hour distance between us. She’d flown over to Germany once while Jack and I were there and had driven to Holiday Cove a couple of times since our return but it just wasn’t the same.
“Well? Am I right?”
“More or less. But that’s not the important thing. I got the job offer just a few minutes ago.”
“Congratulations!”
“Thanks. I’ll go in tomorrow to do the paperwork and start sometime next week. I know it’s not exactly what I wanted but there are a lot of perks too. First of all, the salary is off the charts. A lot more than I was making, even when I was back in Irvine. Plus, there is a benefits package and something about a company retreat in Tahiti.”
“Whoa! My girl’s in the major leagues!”
“Second, with the security of my job nailed down, Jack can figure out what the hell it is that he wants to do.”
“What do you mean by that? He’s not happy at the museum with his friend?”
I rolled my eyes at how she said “friend” instead of Aaron. The two of them had had a brief dalliance that hadn’t ended the way Rachel wanted it to. “I guess not,” I answered with a heavy sigh. “He dropped that bombshell on me last week. But now that I’ll have this killer job, he can quit and figure out what it is he really wants to do now that he’s not stuffed to the gills with navy stuff.”
“You think he wants to reenlist?”
“I don’t know,” I said softly. “God, I hope not. He could sign a new contract, go back on active duty, and everything would change. He’s told me that isn’t what he wants to do. I think originally he thought he’d be a career guy, but during our time in Germany decided that the reserve life wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. I just wonder if…” I let my words trail off, having not dared to say them out loud before.
“If?”
Leave it to Rachel to drag them out of me.
“If I talked him into the reserves and now he’s resentful.”
There. It was out in the open. Ugly and full of unpleasant implications. If I talked him into leaving his active duty, high flying life, was his recent attitude change somehow my fault? If he resented the decision, that would mean that somewhere, deeply buried, he resented me too.
“Oh, come on,” Rachel said dismissively. “He’s a grown ass man, Holly. He makes his own choices. Besides, wasn’t it his idea to buy the house in Holiday Cove? Why would he have insisted on that if he was looking to go back to active duty? It doesn’t make any sense.”
I sighed. She was right, but there were other parts of the story she didn’t know. She didn’t know about the arguments, the distance, the fact that Jack straight-up refused to set a wedding date. Everything about our relationship was mixed up, tangled emotions and conversations. We went from frosty and distant to having the hottest sex of our lives together. Even this morning, he’d woken me with a kiss and a cup of coffee and then vanished before I was even done putting in my contact lenses. Then I hadn’t heard from him all day, got pushed through to his voicemail, but somehow, he’d managed to find time to go to The Siren and chat it up with my soon-to-be boss. None of it made any sense to me and my addled brain was tired of trying to figure it out.
“It’ll be fine,” I agreed, plastering a smile on my face and hoping it translated to my voice. “Let’s pick a weekend to go dress shopping.”
If there was anything that would make me feel better, it would be seeing Rachel, drinking bottomless complimentary champagne, and trying on beautiful wedding gowns.
****
The house was filled with the scent of roasted chicken and baby red potatoes by the time Jack got home. I was wearing a short black dress that was made of a clingy jersey fabric. I liked the way it looked and it brought out my tan. My hair swirled around behind me as I set the table, poured wine, and finished cooking dinner. I glanced up over a pair of tall candles at Jack as he made his way around the corner from the entryway. He did a double take, first checking out my cleavage then the spread on the dining room table, and then back over my curves before his gaze landed on my face.
I smiled. “See something you like?”
He grinned. “I wouldn’t be sure where to start.” He shrugged out of his jacket and I lit the candles. “What’s the occasion? I seem to be asking that a lot lately…”
I sipped my wine. “I got the job at Scoville Properties. I’m going in tomorrow to do the paperwork, and then I’ll officially start next week. The pay is insane and I’ll have full benefits and get this…there’s a company retreat in Tahiti this fall! All expenses paid! I can’t even imagine what that will be like. This is the opportunity of a lifetime, babe!”
Jack smiled but the way his jaw tensed I knew it was forced. My heart sank. Fuck. What now?
I set my wine down a little too hard and some of it sloshed over the rim and onto the eggplant-colored tablecloth. “Damn it.” I scrubbed at the spot with a paper napkin. Thankfully, it was a dark-colored linen. But still…
Jack went into the kitchen and I heard running water. He returned to my side and handed me a damp rag. “Here.”
I took it from him and dabbed at the stain. When it was mostly up, I returned to the sink and rinsed the cloth. “Why aren’t you happy for me, Jack?” I asked, staring down into the sink. I couldn’t look at him.
“Who said I’m not?”
“I can see it in your eyes. I thought we talked about this already.”
“Holly, please don’t do this. Let’s just enjoy this dinner together.”
I whirled around to face him. “No! I want an answer.”
Jack dragged a hand over his face as if the very thought of having the conversation exhausted him. His reaction only infuriated me even more and my hands clenched together. “I’ve just heard some unflattering things about the company. That’s all. I just want to make sure you know who you’re working for.”
I stared at him, shocked by the words coming out of his mouth. “What on earth are you talking about? Noah is a perfectly nice guy and he obviously knows what the hell he’s doing!”
“Noah, huh?” Jack scoffed. “I didn’t know you were on such familiar terms.”
“Oh my God…”
Jack leveled me with a stare bu
t then the edges around his mouth faded. “You know what,” he said, holding up his hands palms facing me. “Forget it. I’m sorry. Congratulations on the job.”
The timer on the stove rang through the kitchen, and I slammed my finger into the button to silence it. “Chicken’s in the oven. Help yourself. I’m going out.”
“Out?”
I threw my hands up in the air. “I can’t do this right now, Jack.”
He snagged my wrist and spun me around. His eyes were wild and searched mine frantically. “I’m only trying to look out for you, Holly. You said you wanted your own business and have busted your ass trying to get it back off the ground. Then some rich guy rides into town and offers you this impossible to turn down opportunity and you just throw away all of your dreams.”
I tugged my arm away from him. “My dreams? I think I threw those away when I agreed to go to Germany with you! And why do you even care that he’s rich? You’ve mentioned it twice just in the last minute. Who cares what kind of money he has?”
Jack frowned. “Germany? You threw your life away to go to Germany? With me? That’s just great. Fan-fucking-tastic.”
“Jack, I—”
“—and it’s not about what kind of money he has, Holly. It’s about how he makes his money.”
“Um, he’s in real estate. He invests in existing properties and flips them or, in this case, builds new properties. He didn’t grow up rich with some silver spoon up his ass, so stop talking about him like he’s some asshole trust fund baby with no fucking clue what the real world is like!”
“He’s trying to buy Aaron’s property. Same as O’Keefe did. And you’ll remember how well that ended.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “He’s not like O’Keefe. Henry was a monster. Noah’s not like that. Maybe before you throw him in the same category as a killer you should have more than a five-minute conversation with him.” I shook my head in disgust. “Honestly, Jack, I don’t even know who you are anymore. Are you really so unhappy with our life that you have to tear down and poke holes in anyone else who dares to be happy?”
Jack reared back as if I’d physically smacked him across the face. He blinked down at me. “Is that what you think?”
“I don’t know what to think right now. The man I met here in Holiday Cove, the man I fell in love with, the man I said I wanted to marry doesn’t seem to exist anymore. This man I’m looking at is jealous, petty, and argumentative, and I don’t know which version is really you.”
Jack took a step back, his eyes locked on mine. My heart squeezed at the look of agony in his face, but I couldn’t find the words to take it all back. To erase the horrible things I’d said. Instead, I turned and walked out of the room. I hit the bottom step and started running.
Chapter Nine
Jack
The worst part of Holly’s madness wasn’t the words themselves. It wasn’t even the anger burning in her eyes. It was the fact that she was right. I didn’t even recognize myself some days. At first, I’d thought it was the natural result of leaving active duty and transitioning to the civilian life. A huge part of my identity was being a fighter pilot. Naturally, it would take some time to adjust. But as the months stretched on, the unrest and angst within me only grew. Instead of feeling free, I felt like the walls were closing in around me.
Holly bolted up the stairs and something snapped inside me.
I raced after her and caught up with her in the bedroom. She emerged from the walk-in closet clutching a suitcase between both hands. She looked up at me with tears streaking down her cheeks. Fuck. “Holly, please let’s talk about this.”
She considered me for a second but then gave a shake of her head. “There’s nothing left to say, Jack.”
“Of course there is. Holly, I love you. It’s my job to protect you and keep you safe. I only want the best for you.”
“Then you have to let me go.”
Her words were barely a whisper but they slammed into me with the force of a hurricane.
“Go? Go where?”
She nodded and swallowed hard even as more tears fell. “I can’t do this anymore. I need some space. I need to get myself together and figure out what I’m doing.”
“Holly, we’re engaged, we’re supposed to figure this out together.”
“I thought so, too. But can’t you see what you’re doing? I’m trying to make plans and build a future for us and you keep coming in like a frickin’ grenade and blowing the whole thing to hell. I can’t keep pouring my energy into making a life with you when you’re fighting me every step of the way. I’m not even sure it’s what you want anymore.”
I rushed forward and took the suitcase from her. “Of course it’s what I want.”
She wiped a tear away. “I know you love me. I know you want me here. But that’s it. That’s all I know and I need more than that. You gave me this ring but you don’t want to set a date or even talk about a wedding. We bought this house but you don’t want to dream with me about the day that we fill it with children. We can’t even agree on where I work or what I do to earn a living! How can we ever figure out the big things if we can’t even figure out the small things?”
I stared down into her teary eyes and words failed me.
“I’m not breaking up with you, Jack. But I need some space and I think you do too.”
She reached forward, silently asking for the suitcase, and after a minute or two, I placed the handle back in her fingers. I leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead and then left the room.
Princess and Hunter circled the room nervously as I putted around in the kitchen, putting away the food that had gone untouched. Holly was still upstairs. I could hear her footsteps pacing between the closet and bathroom as she likely gathered her things. Even as I worked to clear the table and kitchen, I couldn’t figure out what to say to change her mind. The idea of her walking away, even just for a few nights, damn near killed me, but it was like a train cruising down the tracks. But I knew if she wanted space I had to give it to her.
I just hoped she’d make it back to me.
What felt like hours passed before she came down the stairs. My stomach worked into a tight knot. The suitcase looked heavy. Apparently, wherever she was going, she expected it to be a long trip.
“Are you sure?” I asked, meeting her eyes.
She nodded. “I’m going to do my paperwork tomorrow, and then I’m going to spend the weekend with Rachel.”
“And after that?”
“I don’t know.”
I nodded and slid my hands in my pockets. It was the only way to restrain myself from grabbing her. I knew if I wrapped my arms around her I wouldn’t be able to let go again.
“I’m sorry, Jack.”
I shook my head. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for, baby. I’m the asshole who ruined our night.”
She fidgeted at the base of the stairs and I would have paid anyone a million dollars if they could have read her mind. After another long, agonizing minute, she crossed the room and went to the front door. “Hunty, come on.” The sound of his leash jangling got both dogs all jumpy and excited. I rushed forward and snagged Princess by the collar.
“Not now, girl,” I whispered into her silky ear.
Holly gave me a sad smile and straightened from clipping Hunter’s leash on. “I’ll call you when I’m ready, okay?”
My throat closed up and I barely managed to croak out a reply. “Okay.” My whole world crumbled down in front of me as I watched her walk out the door.
****
“She just left?”
I nodded miserably at Aaron’s question. “She said she doesn’t recognize me anymore.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Hell if I know.”
“Damn,” he said, scrubbing a hand over his jaw that was sporting at least three days’ worth of scruff. “Talk about a fuckin’ roller coaster.”
“No shit.”
He set his wrench aside an
d grabbed a pair of pliers. We were side by side, working on our latest project, an old F-4 Phantom. The thing was a hunk of junk, but Aaron was convinced it would be a beauty when it was done. He had a soft spot for the diamond in the rough projects. “You want me to have Gemma call her? She can play it off like she doesn’t know what’s going on.”
I considered it but then shook my head. “No, that’s all right.”
Aaron sank back beside me and continued tinkering on the motor. “She’ll come back,” he added after a long moment.
I nodded but with each passing hour I was questioning whether or not she would ever come back. Or if she did, would it just be long enough to say goodbye.
Aaron and I fell into an easy rhythm, working mostly in silence as we meticulously tended to the battered engine. Hours passed and when we reached a good stopping point, things were starting to take an upward swing. Aaron wiped his gritty hands off on a shop towel and then tossed it to me. I used the other side and scrubbed my own hands. We assessed our work, the same tilt to each of our heads, and then exchanged a satisfied grin. “Not bad,” Aaron said. “I know being a grease monkey isn’t exactly your thing, but I gotta say, Boomer, you have a knack for it.”
I slapped him on the back and smiled. “This was a one-time deal. Nick’s gonna get the pleasure of figuring out what the fuck is wrong with this thing. I have flights booked all afternoon.”
Aaron laughed. “Your lucky day.”
I chuckled and wadded the towel into a ball before sending it in an arc across the shop. It landed in the pail by the long work bench and I gave Aaron a smug smile. “Damn, I still got it.”
Aaron rolled his eyes and gave me a shove. “Yeah, come on hot shit. Let’s get something to eat. I’m fucking starved. Gemma’s on this pre-wedding cleanse and all she keeps at the house is rabbit food.”
I laughed at the idea of Gemma chasing after Aaron, fussing for him to eat a kale salad. I wasn’t even sure Aaron knew what kale looked like. “Starting a little early, isn’t she?”
