by KB Winters
Jack—on the other hand—would be more than fine. He was wearing jeans, but they were dark wash and in impeccable, just off the hanger condition. A crisp dress shirt completed the look. I’d been so distracted by the way he looked in the jeans that I’d nearly missed the fact that he was wearing a button up shirt. Where had he been planning to go before he ran into me—or, more accurately, before I ran into him. His hair was a little ruffled, but that only worked to make him look even more ruggedly handsome.
Jack looked at my dress, his eye raking over every inch of me in a way that made my skin tingle and warm. He didn’t miss a detail. The lines of my thighs as the dress lay flat against them, my hips, stomach, and then my breasts. I nibbled on my lower lip, hoping my nipples wouldn’t go hard. But with the fuck-me look in his eyes, it was hard to keep my thoughts from wandering. When he finally dragged them back up to my eyes—pausing to linger on my lips—he smiled. “I think you look beautiful.”
My breath caught in the back of my throat and my words came out in a breathy whisper, “Thank you, Jack.”
He reached over the center console and grabbed for my hand. “I’ve missed you, baby.”
“I missed you too.”
The words echoed through my head and my aching heart. It wasn’t the same to sleep without him beside me. Or to wake up in the middle of the night and not hear him breathing—or feel his hard body next to me. The simple, every day things we took for granted were so easy to miss once they were gone.
I’d felt that way before, when my ex-husband and I decided to divorce. I’d moved out of the house we shared and moved into my own place, and it had taken forever to get used to living alone. Back then, there was so much anger and resentment after he betrayed me, and I’d let those feelings fuel me. Whenever I missed him, all I had to do was remind myself what a piece of shit he was, and all the things he’d done to hurt me. It had been a crutch. A coping mechanism. And eventually, I had to find a better, more permanent—less destructive—way of dealing with the loss of a failed marriage. But with Jack…things were different. I cared for him in a different way and he hadn’t betrayed me. When I scraped around for the reasons why we weren’t together, I came back with a few stupid reasons, but there wasn’t anything concrete I could cling to in order to get me through the heartbreak if it came down to it.
In fact, it was all pretty stupid to me. But it was still there. The pent-up anger and resentment.
Jack looked down at our hands and I watched him, unblinking, waiting for him to say what was on his mind. But after a long moment, he glanced up and squeezed my hand. “Ready to go inside?”
Disappointment coursed through me but I nodded and returned his smile. “Sure.”
We went inside and I fought the flood of memories that assaulted me. Jack ushered me forward toward a tall table. He pulled my chair out and I hopped up into the seat. He handed me a menu and took his seat, bringing the chair a little closer to mine before sitting.
I already knew what I wanted to order but let my eyes wander down the list of choices anyway. I wasn’t sure what to say to Jack. I didn’t know how to get us back on track. Or if that was even possible anymore. After the server came and left with our orders, Jack folded his hands and set them on the table. His eyes dropped to my hands and saw that my engagement ring was missing. A stab of pain flickered in his eyes and my stomach fell to the floor. “I forgot to put it on after my shower this morning,” I hurried to explain, willing to do anything to take away the sadness in his eyes.
He bobbed his chin but didn’t reply.
I reached for his hand but then decided against it and grabbed my water glass instead. The server returned with our drinks on a tray and handed them over before hurrying away again. Jack sipped at his drink and then glanced around. I absently wondered if he was looking for a TV to watch.
“Aaron found out that I’m looking for other jobs,” he finally said, dragging his eyes back to mine.
“Oh?” My eyebrows shot up. “How’d that go?”
“He was pissed at first. We got into it over at Harvey’s.”
“Yikes. Bet that wasn’t pretty.”
Jack chuckled. “No, not exactly.”
“But now? You’re better?”
“Yeah. We hashed it out. He actually made me an offer.”
“An offer? On what?”
Jack set his tumbler down and slid it along the table between his two hands. “He said if I want to fly charter flights, he’s willing to let me rent out space at the airstrip and run my business out of the museum.”
“Oh, wow!” I frowned as I processed the information. “Are you considering it? I mean, you’ve never really talked about wanting your own business before.”
“I don’t know. It would be pretty ready-made. I mean, between Aaron and me, we could probably get enough clients to make it profitable in the first year. The airstrip would need some tweaks, that could be expensive, but I think manageable. Aaron said he’d pitch in.”
“That’s really exciting, Jack.” Hope swelled in my chest. If Jack started his own business, maybe that would fill that missing space in his life and he’d finally be ready to commit to a solid path forward for us. If there was an us. Now that he had some sort of a plan, my heart ached wondering if there would be an us.
He lifted his eyes. “I didn’t say I was going to do it for sure. I’d need to rent out the house or sell it, something to get some capital, otherwise no bank is going to even consider loaning me the cash to get started. Charter jets aren’t cheap or something that can be revived after being dumped in a scrap heap like Aaron’s collection. I’d need something that could go anywhere in the world, reliably, not just up and down the coast half a dozen times a day.”
I nodded. “Right, of course. But still…it’s a start.”
The server returned with our appetizers and broke the conversation. Even after she left, we struggled to get back on track. We talked about the food, the drinks, and eventually circled back to our original conversation.
“To tell you the truth, I think the main reason I’m attracted to the idea of flying charters, isn’t for the money or the change of pace, it would be to give myself a chance to go back out and travel. Remember all the fun little three day trips we did?”
I smiled. “I do. We had some unforgettable trips.”
“That’s for sure.” He gave a wistful smile. “I miss that. I think maybe now that I’m a civilian, I might like to go travel some more. See more places. I’ve been all over, but those weekends in Germany were the only trips I took that were for the pure hell of it. You know?”
“And here I thought you were bored because you weren’t being shot at,” I teased.
Jack chuckled. “I think I’ve finally outgrown the adrenaline high.”
“Congrats.”
We laughed together and then fell silent as we sipped at our drinks. As my smile faded, melting around the rim of my martini glass, a dark thought crept over me. In all of Jack’s words about what he wanted for the future, I hadn’t heard him mention me. But he did mention selling the house—our house.
“Seems we’re going in different directions then, huh?” I asked. “I’ve gone back to my corporate roots and you’re ready to go off on a grand adventure.”
The two didn’t exactly meld together.
Jack looked at me sadly. “For now, I guess. But nothing is set in stone. Babe, come with me. We could go back out there and see everything on our own terms. Instead of sneaking away for two days here and there, we could go for weeks, hell months at a time! We could go to South America and see the ruins and monkeys and climb a volcano! Then we could go to Africa and do a safari trip, sleep in a tent and take a million pictures. We could wind up back in Europe or go to Australia. I mean, we could do anything. Wherever the wind takes us!”
His words were meant to inspire. Excite. But all I felt was deflated. Each far-flung destination just took him farther from me.
“And how are we paying for all these
glorious trips?” I asked, desperate to get his feet back on the ground. Jack was normally so practical it was almost unnerving to have him so flighty.
Jack’s smile faltered. “I haven’t figured that out yet, but Holly, people do it all the time. Stay in hostiles, do work exchange programs. I could still do the occasional charter pilot stint and save up cash before our next excursion.”
“And what about the dogs? The house? My job?”
Jack frowned into his tumbler. “Forget it.”
“I’m not trying to be the wet blanket here, but Jack, we’re not teenagers or in our early twenties. We’re adults—”
“You think I don’t know that?” He asked, his tone edged with bitterness.
“I think you’re looking for an escape from our problems. Life was great in Germany. We were great in Germany. But that’s not reality. At least not forever. I’d love to travel the world with you and explore and have adventures, but I’m also a realist and I can’t help but see the big picture. We can’t just run off together. Part of the reason I pushed so hard to have a house when we got back was because I wanted the stability. The security. This new job, to me, symbolizes the future. We can plan our dream wedding, save up money for our dream house, the place we will raise our children. If you want to start a business, I’m on board with that plan because it keeps us here, grounded.”
“We have the rest of our lives ahead of us to be responsible and tied down.”
I opened and then closed my mouth. He wasn’t hearing me.
He turned to face me, his eyes alight. “Holly, you said something to me the other day that really cut deep. You said that you didn’t know who I am anymore.” I started to apologize, but he held up a hand and cut me off. “It got me thinking about life and who I am, especially now that I’m not in the military anymore. You have to understand where I’m coming from. I joined the navy right out of college and spent damn near a decade of my life being a pilot. That was who I was. Officer Jack McGuire. Fighter pilot for the US Navy. It just went together. That was my whole world. But something was missing.”
He paused and reached for my hands. “You.”
My heart thumped inside my chest, unsure where he was headed.
“In Germany, we made all these big plans and at the time, it all sounded great, but now, we’re back and it’s not what I want anymore. And for that, I’m sorry. But I’m not as ready as I thought I was to settle down and turn into the Jones’s. I’d rather be chasing memories and flawless sunsets than dollars and cents so we can buy the next great SUV. I mean, fuck, why does anyone care?”
“I don’t know why everyone else does,” I said, my tone sharp. “I care because I want a life. A real life. A house, a husband, some kids, and the dogs. I want those things with you, Jack. How can you not see that’s all we need? I never thought you’d turn into the kind of guy who views marriage as some kind of prison cell!”
“I don’t! Holly, how could you say that?”
“Because you won’t set the date! Just set the date, Jack. That’s all I want.” My voice broke. “Then I’ll be happy…”
We stared at each other, unblinking, for what felt like forever. Jack reached up and smoothed a fingertip down the side of my face. A tear slipped out and raced him to my chin. He swept the glisten away with his thumb and then moved to cup my face. “Okay. We’ll set the date.”
The words swept over me and I felt nothing.
It was going to take a lot more than some embossed invitations or a tropical honeymoon to get us back on track. Especially when our tracks were headed in completely opposite directions.
Chapter Fourteen
Holly
We left the martini bar without a resolution. No matter how much we talked and opened up, we kept circling one another, neither one of us moving closer to the end. Fear and uncertainty mixed with longing and passion. Out in the parking lot, Jack walked me around to the passenger side of the car and pulled the door open for me. He’d only had the one drink. That was Jack, always mindful. I, on the other hand, was three martinis in and on the verge of crying, screaming, and throwing myself at Jack all at once.
He lingered, his hand on the door, waiting for me to fold myself into the front seat. Instead, I teetered forward and placed my palm against his chest. “Is this all a bad dream?” I asked him, completely serious.
Jack reached for my hand and brought it to his mouth. He dropped a soft kiss to my palm and a bolt of heat pulsed between my thighs. God, he looks sexy.
“We’ll figure it out, baby. Don’t give up on us yet.”
With that, he was gone, going around the front bumper to get into the driver’s seat. I collapsed into the passenger seat and fumbled with my buckle. Once fastened, Jack took off, back toward the house, and it was like someone set off a countdown timer in the back of my mind. If we had all the time in the world, then why did it feel so urgent?
The house was fifteen minutes away and we spent the ride in silence, both of us wrestling with our own thoughts. When we pulled into the driveway in front of the single-car garage, Jack killed the lights and twisted in his seat to face me. “Come inside,” he said softly. “Stay with me tonight, Holly.”
“Jack, I—”
He silenced me with the tip of his finger against my lips. “Don’t think. We’ve done enough of that tonight. Tell me what you want to do.”
His finger slipped away and I licked my lips. His eyes were even darker in the low lighting of the car’s interior. I could get lost in them. Swallowed up. That was what I wanted.
I leaned forward and Jack met me in the middle, his lips finding mine with ease. His hand went to the back of my neck so he could pull me closer. The soft, silent kiss quickly evolved into a desperate, aching melding of our mouths. Our panted breaths filled the car and I heard myself moan when Jack’s hand went to my thigh. The sound excited him and he hurried to snap himself free of his seat belt and then popped mine too. We untangled ourselves from the contraptions and then hungrily reached for one another again, as though the seconds apart were sheer torture.
“You wanna—” his words were interrupted by a hot kiss. “Go inside?”
I nodded, still breathless. We scrambled up the front steps and ignored the dogs as they bounded over triumphantly to greet us. As soon as the front door was closed, Jack had me in his arms, my thighs around his hips. He turned and my back hit the wall. I pushed off, grinding my hips against his hard-on that was tragically still contained in his tight jeans.
Jack’s lips moved to the side of my neck as his hands greedily slid the straps of my dress from my shoulders. My dress fell free and with one flick, Jack had my strapless bra loosed. He batted the undergarment away and then ducked to take my nipple into his mouth. He groaned as soon as he’d sucked the hard bud between his lips and the vibrations made me cry out and buck against his hips all the more. “Jack, please, you have no idea how much I want you to fuck me.”
He looked up and licked my nipple while he watched my face shift.
I arched against the wall. “Jack…”
“You have the world’s most perfect tits, baby. Have I told you that before?”
I smiled. “Many, many times.”
“Good. At least I was doing one thing right.”
I rolled my eyes and smacked him on the arm.
He set me down long enough to pull off his shoes and jeans. He left the forest-green boxer briefs he was wearing and my eyes immediately went to his bulge. I dragged them up his body and went to work on the buttons of his shirt. “Not exactly hiding much there, sailor.”
Jack laughed and popped the top buttons. We met in the middle and I slowly loosened the last button. I spread the linen shirt over his tanned, toned chest, revealing one inch at a time. “You were always better at the striptease thing,” he joked.
“I don’t know,” I said, pushing the shirt over his strong shoulders. “I think you could pull off some Magic Mike moves if you wanted to.”
He laughed but took my te
asing as an unspoken dare and swiveled his hips as the rest of the shirt fell away. I watched, completely mesmerized, as it slid down his arms. “Judging from that sexy little lip bite you’ve got going on, I’m gonna say I’m doing something right.”
I nodded with a sultry smile. “Uh-huh.”
We watched one another until the air was charged and crackling with heat then we crashed together. Jack lifted my dress and I wiggled my hips as he slid his thumbs into the band of my thong, silently urging him on. I stepped out of the panties and Jack was back on me. With another hot, frantic kiss, he had me back against the wall. One of his hands moved to my thigh and dragged it up against him. I snaked a hand between our writhing bodies and stroked him. Jack hissed and it morphed into a low growl when my fingertips slid his length from his underwear. His velvety hardness had me purring as delicious sensations danced over my skin.
Jack caught my wrist and pulled my arm up above my head. He did the same thing with the other and a new thrill raced over me. I was vulnerable, powerless as he gripped my wrists with one of his large hands. With a wicked glint in his eyes, he traced his opposite hand down my curves and then up along the inside of my thigh. I quivered as my pussy contracted, aching and throbbing for his touch. Our eyes were still locked when he slid a finger along my slit. I moaned and bucked my hips. I wanted more. So much more.
“Damn, baby, you have no idea how much I want this sweet little pussy.”
“Then take it.”
He groaned into my ear. “Yes, ma’am.”
He plunged his finger deep, adding another one, then a third until he was filling me, all the while keeping my arms pinned above my head. I bucked wildly against him as his palm moved across my clit even as he pumped his fingers inside me. When I was right on the brink of coming, he traced his pinky around the tight ring of my asshole and I shuddered through a release that came hard and fast. Damn! He was getting really good at that!
