“I don’t know,” she said, sounding as conflicted as she felt. “I don’t know too much about it. I didn’t like some of what I saw.”
“On those websites? I don’t want you on those anymore, do you understand? Tell me what you saw that so upset you.”
“I don’t know… People hurting people… Burning them with wax, cutting them… Sticking them with needles. Fucking them up with all this hardware.”
“Jesus, Kat,” he said with a smile. “Going right for the hard-core. Leave it to you. What else?”
“I don’t want to be made to look ugly, put in masks or gags or… You know… Have to get weird piercings or be… Marked. Scarred.” She shuddered. “How hard will you hit me. Will you ever…?” She couldn’t finish the thought.
“Oh, Kat,” he said with a sigh. “I wish you hadn’t gone to those sites at all. Look, I want to control and discipline you, not disfigure you. Part of being in a D/s relationship is negotiating. You can have hard limits, things you won’t even consider. Soft limits, things you’re curious about. Things you really do want that you can tell me about. Partners work it all out.”
“You won’t leave marks on me?”
“I won’t leave any marks that won’t fade. But I’ll mark you, yes. I like doing that. I marked you that night at the club, you remember.”
Yes, she remembered. She’d stared at those marks, caressed them, masturbated over them for two days. She’d been disappointed when they started to fade.
“I promise you, it won’t ever be too much,” he said. “We’ll have agreements on how far to go. We’ll use safewords.”
“Safewords?”
“Yes, we’ll have a safeword that will stop me when you feel I’m going too far. I’m not into making you miserable. I won’t force you to do anything you really don’t want to do.”
“But I know you’ll want more than I do.
He chuckled. “I don’t think you know how much you want yet. How much you’ll love what I’m going to do to you. You don’t have any idea yet, but you’ll see. You’ll want much more than you think.”
“So what… How much… How hard…?” Her imagination was stuck in overdrive. She was sure her unease was reflected in the expression on her face.
He took her hand across the table. “Kat, I’m not really into pushing envelopes. Would you like to know what I’d expect from you, more or less? In general terms, to soothe your nerves?”
“Yes,” she breathed on a sigh.
“Obedience and submission.”
“That’s it?”
“That comprises a lot of things. You’ll have a lot to learn. Sometimes things will be stringent, sometimes relaxed. You’ll figure it out. You’ll come to understand exactly what I want and when, and you’ll get good at giving it to me.”
“Because if I don’t…”
“I’ll punish you. Real punishment. Discipline. That’s part of the dynamic, the turn-on. For me and for you.”
She blushed because what he said was true. It would turn her on terribly for him to discipline her, no matter how much it hurt. She looked up at him. He must have known that her panties, by now, were soaked.
“All of this…you know… I don’t know. My mother says I should be trying to find a husband, settle down and have kids.”
“Hmm. Probably.”
“That’s what all my sisters have done.”
“I don’t think you’re much like your sisters. I don’t think you want to be. I think that’s why life is so hard for you.”
“So…” she said slowly, the wheels turning. She had to admit she was actually considering his suggestions. But she thought he was overestimating how happy he’d be with her. “Here’s the thing. I’m not really… I don’t… I’ve only just had sex, you know, regular sex. I’m not really good at…the extra stuff.”
“Anal sex?”
The casual way he said it made blood rush to her face. “Yeah. Or even stuff like…blowjobs.”
She fell silent. He looked shocked.
“All those guys you went home with, you never…?”
“I just had them fuck me and then I left.”
“No foreplay, no playing around?”
“Sometimes they wanted to go down on me, but I didn’t want them to, and I’ve never even tried to give a blowjob,” she admitted, not quite able to meet his eyes. “I mean, why would I? I didn’t like them anyway. We never even kissed.”
He made a soft sound. “I see now. You took what you wanted. You used them. Well, Kat, it will be different with me.”
She swallowed nervously. “Yes, I’m sensing that. If you even still want me now that I’ve told you I’m not good in bed.”
“You let me worry about that. I have no doubt I can train you to satisfy me, if you’re willing to be trained.” He leaned his elbows on the table, looked right at her with a serious expression on his face. “So are you willing or not?”
“Willing to what?”
“Give it a try. Sexual training. Submission and obedience.”
She drew in her breath. Yes, yes, I want to start training this instant.
“If I say yes, then what happens?” she asked, her heart in her throat.
“If you say yes then you come to my place tomorrow night for Lesson Number One.”
“Lesson Number One?”
“I think it’s high time, Kat, that you learned to suck cock.”
* * * * *
He took her out to dinner first. He didn’t want her to mistake their fledgling relationship for one of the emotionless hookups she was used to, especially since they were going to be having a lot of sex. Ryan always had a lot of sex but he was after more here. There was more at stake.
He texted her and told her to be ready at seven. He’d made reservations at an intimate gourmet restaurant near his place in Cambridge. He wasn’t on call this weekend so there was no chance of the seduction being interrupted. And he did plan a seduction. A girl didn’t reach the age of twenty-eight completely blowjob-free if she felt positive about them. He hoped he could change her mind.
When he arrived to pick her up she wasn’t quite ready, so he made small talk with Elena and Dmitri and watched the sisters pass around the fussy baby. Yuri or Sergei or something. He could never keep the names straight. If they were English names he could have, but they were names like Rada and Varvara and Zinaida, and then their husbands would call them pet names like Radya and Varvusha and Zinoushka until he was completely lost and content to just soak up the family vibe. He would love for his children to grow up with an extended family like Kat’s. A doting grandma like Elena, ten smiling aunties and uncles coming and going and too many cousins to count. He was just smiling over what his own parents’ reaction might be to the bedlam in the Argounov household when she came down the stairs.
The noise and activity around him continued but he stopped and stared. She was wearing a gorgeous, fitted dress with embroidery, and her hair was up in a loose chignon with tendrils of curls falling down in spirals against her face. She was beautifully made-up, with deep red lips that drew his gaze and made him think terribly inappropriate thoughts there in the living room of her parents’ home.
He met her at the bottom of the stairs and took her hand. “You look gorgeous,” he whispered. As usual, she shied away when he brushed a kiss against her cheek. She smelled like flowers and vanilla sugar. He barely restrained himself from licking her in front of her mother and father.
“Thank you. You’re looking pretty good yourself.”
He looked down at his crisp white shirt and navy jacket. Just another male clod ready to sacrifice himself at the altar of feminine beauty and allure.
“Come on, let’s go. We have reservations.”
At the restaurant, she sat stiffly across from him. It was an upscale place, the type with a lot of silverware and glassware on the table and no prices on the menu. She toyed with her napkin in her lap, looking almost mournful.
“You know, you didn’t have to do t
his,” she said.
“Do what?”
“Bring me here. Drop a lot of money on me.”
He frowned, glancing up at her over the menu. “I do what I want with you. That’s how D/s relationships work. If I want to bring you to a fancy restaurant and show you off to everyone, I will.”
The compliment didn’t seem to register. She frowned back at him. “Are you going to tell me what I can and can’t eat here too? Or just at diners?”
He didn’t rise to the bait, maintaining a fond and relaxed demeanor as he closed his menu. “I believe I’ll order for us both.”
“What if I don’t like what you order?”
“You’ll either go hungry or choke it down. But everything is very good here.”
She closed her menu and handed it to him with a touch of pique. “I’m sure it is.”
He continued to watch her. He could see the internal struggle, the desire to enjoy herself and let him take care of her warring with her desire to protect her independence at all costs. He leaned forward, gazing at her over the candlelight.
“I brought you here to make you feel special. I want you to understand that I’m not just out to use you.” The waiter brought wine and Ryan ordered, crusted salmon for himself and citrus chicken for Kat. After the waiter left, he looked back at her. “You should know, Kat, that I won’t let you use me either.”
“I have no intention of using you.”
“Good. We’re on the same page then.”
“This is just a lot of trouble and expense to go to for a blowjob.”
“Kat,” he warned.
“Especially when it probably won’t be a very good one.”
The “probably” encouraged him at least. “We’ll see. As much as I’d like to continue talking about the lessons I plan to give you later, it’s not appropriate dinner conversation. Let’s talk about something else. Like how beautiful your hair looks by candlelight.”
“You’re a romantic.”
“Yes.”
“I’m not.”
“Do we have anything at all in common, do you think?” he asked in exasperation. “Maybe we should just throw in the towel.”
“I’m sorry. I just don’t feel comfortable here.”
“I know. That’s part of why I brought you here. I’ll enjoy making you do things you’re not quite comfortable with. It’s a big part of how I get off.”
“Why?”
“It’s a power thing. What can I make you do? How far can I push you? What will I do when you balk? Not to mention the fact that when you’re off balance, you need me more than when you’re in control.”
She didn’t reply but she was breathing notably faster. She took a small sip of wine and he watched her lick her lips, look sideways and then down. Her neck was beautiful, slender and graceful. She felt frightened but she was trying to hide it. Cornered prey. Beautiful Russian doll. He was wild to have her by the time the waiter brought the check.
Chapter Five
On the way to his house after dinner, Kat sat beside him feeling nervous, watching his long, forceful fingers on the gearshift. He pulled up to a neat little two-story colonial and led her to a small porch on the side. She fidgeted while he dug for keys, looking down at the design on the woven welcome mat. She thought his house was kind of smallish, but most Cambridge houses were.
He flipped on the lights when they entered and Kat blinked, looking around. So bland and orderly, sterile like an operating room and so quiet compared to her busy home. Of course, he was just a single guy, while her home was overflowing with way too many people. She turned at the soft touch on the small of her back. He had touched her that same way the first time they spoke up on the balcony. She had never imagined, back then…
“Are you thirsty? Can I get you anything?”
“I’m fine. Could I use your bathroom?”
“Sure.” He led her down the hall to the bathroom, which she fully intended to explore and analyze. She shut the door and peed, all the while looking around to see what she could glean. Tidy. Nice sparkling shower stall. He obviously had a maid. She stealthily opened the medicine cabinet. No scary prescription drugs, just condoms and ibuprofen. She closed it silently and looked in the mirror. Are you ready to do this? She was somewhat uneasy about all the submissive business. Uneasy and yet curious. And hot.
“Okay?” he asked when she came out.
“Yes, I’m fine.”
“Come here.”
She walked over to him and he started, without prelude, to take off her clothes. He did it casually, with no words between them, just his dark gaze focused on the task of stripping her. He took off her dress, her shoes, her tights, until she stood trembling in her black bra and panties, and then, after a brief appreciative stare, he took those off too. She reached up to cover herself but he pushed her hands back down.
“Don’t. My submissive, my body. I want to see you.”
She made a soft noise, of protest or assent, she wasn’t sure. She didn’t know where to look while he scrutinized her from head to toe.
“Okay,” he said at last. “Kneel down here by the sofa, back straight, hands in your lap until I tell you to move.”
She did as he asked while he walked around doing various things, checking his mail, going into the bathroom. She heard the shower turn on and still she knelt there as he’d told her to, but at some point she started to tremble. By the time he came out she was shaking with anxiety. He came and sat in front of her on the sofa, totally nude, and lifted her face in his hand.
“What’s wrong? Tell me.”
“Why did you leave me here?”
“I had things I wanted to do first. You wait where I leave you. That’s the deal. Does that upset you?”
“I don’t know,” she said, and she really didn’t know. She wasn’t really upset. She was horny, excited, shocked, scared…and frantic. Frantic to do what he wanted, to be what he wanted her to be.
“Just please tell me what to do now, because I don’t know what to do. I want to make you happy. I want to be good at this.”
He made a soft sound and worked for a moment at her messy chignon. The hair tumbled down and he laced his fingers through her curls, pulling them just a little. He scooted forward, his knees on either side of her so she was face-to-face with his cock. God. Oh my god.
“What?” he teased. “You’ve never seen one before?”
“It’s just…big.” She shook her head. “That will never fit in my mouth.”
He laughed. “It’ll fit. Don’t look so scared. We’ve had sex twice already and you survived just fine. Go on, put your hands on it first. Explore it. You’ll get to know it well over the next weeks and months.”
“But what do you want me to do? What will make you feel good?”
“You obeying me without a lot of questions will make me feel good. Take me in your hands as I asked you to.”
She did, gingerly at first. “Cup my balls,” he said quietly. “Stroke the shaft. Play with me. Not too gently,” he added. She held him in her hands, amazed that he could feel so warm and yet hard and smooth like granite. She had touched cocks before but she’d done it mindlessly, carelessly. Not like now. She focused on his organ, the rigid, upstanding shaft before her and the balls beneath, stroking their textures and contours. He twisted his fingers in her hair, tightening his hold as her touch grew more confident. The dull discomfort of having her hair pulled barely registered over the novelty of exploring his erection.
“Yes, good girl,” he murmured, dropping his head back. “That’s right. That feels good.”
Kat felt a frisson of deeply feminine satisfaction at his exhalation of pleasure. Good girl. She was pleasing him. She wanted his exacting instructions, his piercing gaze. She wanted his approval, something she had never sought from a man in her life.
“Hands back in your lap. Part your lips,” he said. “Just slightly for now.” She lowered her hands and clasped them together in her lap, opening her mouth as he’d directed. T
oo wide? Not wide enough? She gazed up at him seeking guidance but he was staring at her mouth, his eyes liquid and intent. He slowly caressed her lips with the head of his cock. She remained still, still as a statue. He had promised to teach her. Finally he met her eyes, the muscles in his jaws clenched as if he were in pain. “Listen to me, Kat,” he said, stroking her cheek with light fingertips. “It will take practice and effort for you to get skilled at this. What I expect from you now is good intentions. You’ll do your best and you’ll pretend to enjoy every moment my cock is in your mouth. You can answer me now with ‘Yes Sir,’ nice and sweet.”
“Yes Sir.” The formal words felt awkward, but she managed them.
“I want you to get your mouth nice and wet and open it up wide. I want you to take as much of me as you can manage. Okay? Try not to gag. ‘Yes Sir’ again,” he prompted.
“Yes Sir.” She was staring at his cock. Now that the moment of truth was here she was feeling a lot less confident. “Are you… Are you going to…”
“Finish in your mouth? Not yet, not until we’re tested. But yes, eventually I will and when I do, you’ll swallow. Spitting isn’t allowed, little one. And you won’t just swallow me, you’ll savor me. Okay?”
Her clit throbbed at the way he said it. She’d never tasted cum in her life but the idea of it suddenly became totally hot. “Yes Sir.”
“Very good. Okay. Open wider.” He pushed just the head of his cock into her mouth and she already felt overwhelmed. He was so big. She’d seen porn actresses bobbing their faces up and down on men’s cocks, making it look easy. It wasn’t easy at all. She felt clumsy and inept. Oops—she’d definitely nicked him with her teeth just then. She waited for criticism but he brushed his fingers over her hair and shifted closer to her. “Wider. You can do it, just try. Just let it slide in and out. Don’t fight it.”
She tried to relax her mouth. It was getting easier as her mouth got wetter. She finally felt she was getting the hang of it but then he thrust deeper. She gagged and he pulled out, then entered again, carefully inching deeper and deeper with each subsequent stroke so that, very soon, she was taking much more of him than she’d ever expected to manage.
Fortune Page 7
