I lean back in the seat as the tears flow down my face. How could I be so stupid? I think to myself. I startle when I feel my clutch vibrate. This was one night I am glad I brought a purse. I pull my phone out of my bag without looking at the screen. I don't have to; I already know who it is without looking. I don't answer it, letting it go to voice mail. It vibrates again, and this time I turn my phone off.
I shudder as the tears continue to roll down my face. The taxi driver keeps looking in his rear view mirror at me. "Miss, are you okay?" he asks. I don't answer. He gives me a tissue and I can't contain it any longer as I openly sob. I feel like an emotional train wreck. I had genuinely started to believe I could have my dream. Ian had made me want things I never thought I could before. I'm such a fool.
The taxi driver drops me off in front of my apartment; he looks at me with concerned kind eyes. "Are you going to be okay Miss?"
I nod. "Thank you," I say, as I pay him and walk into my apartment; to my cold lonely and achingly empty apartment.
It isn't more than five minutes later when there's a knock on my door. Shit, I had forgotten the security door is broken. "Parker, it's not what it looked like! Please let me in." I try to ignore him. "I'm not leaving here without talking to you," he continues. "I know you're in there, I see your light on. Please, Parker." I hear the distress in his voice as it cracks with emotion. "Please, Parker. Please let me in, please I'm sorry." My heart hurts so badly. I unlock my door, letting him in.
"Oh God, Parker." He comes toward me as I step back, putting my hands on his hard chest for him to keep his distance. His eyes are sad his brow furrowed and his body slumped "I'm so sorry, but it wasn't what it looked like."
I unleash my wrath. I stand tall and square my shoulders. "What the hell was it then, Ian? Tell me why some beautiful woman is hanging on you, and you let her. Isn't that what you would normally do at parties, pick someone up? You did say you have been with a lot of women. This is the reason I told you I couldn't do this. All night you are introducing me to all your family and friends but once I am gone it's a free for all? My God! You kissed her. You had your arm around her! What am I supposed to think? I'm gone for five fucking minutes and you already have another woman on your arm! Was I really only your pet project? Let see if we can dress the pretty little poor girl up make her feel good about herself for half a second and drop her when she becomes to attached? People already think you picked me up on the streets like a common whore; that I'm only after your money, that I'm some kind of gold digger." I cry openly and tears are streaming down my face. "So you tell me how I got that wrong," I cry out, my heartache oozing out of me, I can't stop crying.
"PARKER!" he yells and I flinch. I have never heard him yell before; let alone at me. His eyes were dark, his face fierce his body stiff. I look up at him, shocked and scared. "I don't ever want to hear you refer to yourself that way. EVER!" he yells, "I have never treated you that way either nor would I ever. I have told you how I feel about you and how proud I am of you, and that is all that should matter. Parker, love," he says in a calm voice. "I don't give a shit what other people think. I only care about what you think. I know what you saw hurt you, but if you would just hear me out... please, Parker. What do I have to do to prove it to you. God, Parker, I even talked to my mother about you after that first night." His eyes were sad and glistened with unshed tears. "Please Parker, please give me a chance to explain. Damn it, I love you! Please."
My eyes flash to his to look at his reaction to what he just professed, "Fine, you have two minutes." I cross my arms over my chest, my body language is totally closed off.
"Jessica, the girl you saw me with, is a friend of my sisters. She has been trying to get into a nursing program and hasn't been able to get accepted. Ava and Ella had told me of her situation so I wrote a letter of recommendation for her to submit to the university's she wanted to apply to. She just found out that she got into one of them. She was just overly excited, like my sisters were this morning at the coffee shop. Parker I grew up with her in our house; she is like a little sister to me and that's all," he says softly.
"But she kissed you on your lips," I state matter-of-factly. My body language still closed, but opening slightly.
"Parker, she is like my sister. Didn't you see me kiss my sisters on the lips this morning and my mother too? Call her, call my sisters, call my mother, they will all tell you. I told Jessica about you, she was going to wait with me until you came back from the restroom. She was excited that I finally found someone." There was desperation in his voice. "Please." He said softly as he dropped his head in defeat. "Can you not see how much I love you and what you mean to me?"
I stop to think, remembering what I saw this morning. I didn't have to think hard about how he kissed his mom and sisters this morning, I remember that it was such a beautiful gesture. If I was just a pet project would he really go to all this trouble? I slowly lower my arms to my sides. Why would he, it would have been easier to just walk away. My shoulders slump in defeat as the tears start again at my error in judgment. Putting my hand over my face my body shudders as I cry. Ian walks over to me and softly puts his arms around me enveloping me into him. "I'm so sorry Ian, God, I'm such an idiot."
"No, you're not, it was just a misunderstanding," he says. "Although as I told you before, you can always come to me, I will always tell you the truth. And as far as how we met? Parker, meeting you was fate, and becoming your friend was a choice. But falling in love with you, is something I had no control over. I love you, Parker."
Tears begin falling again. "Oh, Ian, that was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions without talking to you first. I just got so upset with what the women in the bathroom said that..."
"I love you, Parker, and nothing will change that. Don't let a couple of jealous bitches upset you. They don't know what we have. You are going to have to trust me. I would still choose you over everyone else. Will you please come back to my place? I don't want to leave you here by yourself."
"Did you really mean what you said?"
"You mean that I love you?" He asks, then lifts my chin with his finger so we are looking at each other. "With all my heart and soul." Tears fill my eyes as the realization of what he has just told me sinks in.
"God, Ian, I have been so afraid to tell you those three simple words, but I love you too." Ian's eye grew big, I could see the glimmer of unshed tears in them as he wraps me in his arms and kisses me passionately. When we come up for air I ask "You're not going back to the party?"
"Not without you." He looks into my eyes. "I don't want to be anywhere without you, Parker. You don't know that by now?"
"I just... I'm sorry for ruining your night. I will need to apologize to you father; this was his night and you should have been there for him." I look down in shame.
"My father will understand."
"Okay," I whisper.
Ian takes my face in his hands, and looks deep into my eyes. "I love you, Parker" Gently placing his warm moist lips on mine, he kisses me softly.
"Ian, I am so sorry for not trusting you. Will you please forgive me? It has just been so hard to learn to trust. Trust is something I haven't had in anyone for a long time." I pull his face to me as I kiss him softly while gazing into his eyes.
In the Spot Light
Ian
Today has been a good day starting with waking up with Parker in my bed. I hear her smiling, the sound her lips make as they slid over her beautiful white teeth. I am truly blessed, I never thought I would find someone, then when you stop looking it land in your preverbal lap. I feel hopeful and alive now with her in my life. I love to here her laugh and I love her smell, hell, I just love being around her.
I can tell she is nervous about meeting my parents, but she has nothing to worry about, I know they will love her. It will be fun to see how Ava and Ella will react to her. I haven't told Parker that I have already talked to my mother about her. My mom is a hopeful romanti
c.
I hold her hand as we walk into the coffee shop, I barely see where they are sitting when we are, what feels like body slammed by my sisters, both talking a mile a minute, quieting only for a second to kiss them, I glance at my mom and dad and they are laughing at me. Parker has a huge smile on her face, I lean over kissing her cheek as I try to move us to the table.
My dad stands up as I introduce him to Parker then I introduce her to my mother. I pull out a chair for Parker and walk to the counter to order our coffee. I glance over at the table a couple times to see how things look. Parker looks relaxed now, I knew my family would like her.
I find myself daydreaming a lot, thinking of the last month and how much my life has changed. She really does brighten it. I take our coffees back to the table in time to here the girls telling horrible childhood stories. Parker looks at me and smiles and I sit there not paying any attention to what is going on, deep in thought.
I receive a call from work and step outside to take the call. I return to the table and finish my coffee.
When it is time to head over to the book signing I take Parker's hand knowing we will probably get bombarded with media, and I don't want her to get lost in the crowd.
After the signing is over, we start back to the condo but decide to walk the waterfront. We grab some dinner, noodles of course and walk hand in hand talking about today. Her hands are so soft, I rub my thumb over her hand feeling the soft skin underneath. I look at her as the sun shine glistens off her beautiful blonde hair. She really is stunning. My heart skips a beat just thinking of her.
At the condo we sit outside until Parker excuses herself to get ready for the party.
When I hear the shower running for a few minutes, I sneak into the bedroom closet and take a purple cocktail dress out laying it on the bed. Going back into the closet, I take the purple stilettos out, setting them on the floor in front of the dress. I put the matching bag to the side of the dress and I then grab my suit to get dressed in the spare bedroom. After I am done, I sit out on balcony again and daydream about the future. It's funny how things change. It hadn't been but a few days ago that I was making smartass comments to myself about her. Now all I want to do is be with her, touch her, smell her. God, I want to taste those lips again.
I'm pulled back to the present when my phone rings. I'm on the phone when I hear the sound of heels on the floor. I look up as Parker walks into the room. I stand there just looking at her stunned. The person on the other end of the phone is talking trying to get my attention. I think I drop my phone before I even finish my statement.
God, she is gorgeous .
My breath hitches, she is absolutely exquisite . My heart is beating so hard now that, I can only hear the wooshing sound of the blood going through my ears. She walks over to me and turns in a full circle. As she does, I wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her back to my chest and leaning into her neck; I breathe her scent in.
She kisses me hard then whispers in my ear about showing her appreciation when we get home tonight, as she continues to nibble on my earlobe I growl involuntarily as she pulls it into her mouth while sucking it, letting it slip through her teeth. She turns out of my hold and begins walking toward the door. I am in a daze. I can't even think! She looks over her shoulder and smiles at me. Shit, I've died and gone to heaven.
I pull myself together and walk to the elevator. My body is still reeling from her touch and elevators are such a turn-on; especially when I have someone like Parker in it with me. I lose all control. Maybe it's the thrill of getting caught? I am not certain but tonight I will be testing it out. The elevator door opens and we step inside. All I can think about is tasting and feeling her. I look over at her, wicked thoughts run through my head as I take her hands in mine, placing them over her head. "Keep them there" I then place my hands just under the bottom of the dress, slowly sliding my hands up her thighs. Shit, this is every man's fantasy. My mind is spinning; she only has a garter on and no panties. I want to take the elevator back up to my condo; the hell with the party. I can have my own party right here.
I groan, I want her so bad, my cock is so hard, I feel like a teenager, one hormonal walking hard on. I say something about not going tonight, but Parker vetos that really quickly. I am so turned on, I don't know that I can function.
The party is in full swing by the time we arrive. It is being held at a winery; it's a beautiful location on a mountain and the sun is starting to set. Maybe I can sneak Parker out here later tonight.
I take Parker around making my introductions. I either have my arm around her or I'm holding her hand, never letting her leave my side. I know she isn't accustomed to parties like this and I don't want her to feel lost or out of place. I want her to have one hundred percent of my attention.
I have been to my share of parties like this, but I'd never brought someone as a girlfriend. So tonight I am sure I shock several people by introducing Parker as my girlfriend. I take her out on the dance floor and she floats around it. Who would have thought that the woman that I thought was a klutz can dance perfectly?
After several dances, Parker excuses herself to go to the restroom. I start to follow her, but she reassures me she will be alright. I hesitantly let her go. As I walk toward our table, Jessica walks over to me. It's been a while since I have seen her. She has on a very short little red backless dress. With her long shiny black hair, she looks enchanting . She gives me a big hug and I kiss her on the lips. "Jessica, you look beautiful! It's great to see you." I put my arm around her, leading her back to our table. "Have you seen Ava and Ella yet?"
"Thank you, Ian. No I just got here and saw you first. I had to come over to you and let you know my wonderful news. I got into Linfield's nursing program, Thanks to your letter of recommendation! I am so excited! I didn't think I was going to ever get accepted."
"That's great, Jessica, I know you have worked so hard to get into nursing," I say, leaning close to Jessica's ear because the band just started playing again after their break. "You need to wait here for a few minutes so you can meet Parker."
Jessica grabs my face. "You finally met someone? Where is she?" Then she kisses me again. "I am so happy for you!"
"SHIT!" I spot Parker and the look on her face is one of devastation, hurt, and pain. I see the shimmer of a tear on her face as the lights from the dance floor move across the room. It rolls down her face. I have to explain. Shit.
"What?"
"I have to go." Shit! Shit!, Shit!
I run after Parker, she is at the front of the building where the valet area is, I see Parker getting into a cab.
I grab a valet, telling them I need my car now as I try to call Parker to tell her what she saw wasn't what she thinks she saw. It's ringing... Answer, Parker. Please answer. It goes to voicemail. Shit! I try to call again... it goes straight into voicemail this time and I leave a message: Parker, baby, it's not what you think. Please let me explain. Please call me back. I try again and again, but it continues to go straight into voicemail. I leave another message: Parker, please call me back. Baby, it's not what you think. Please! Baby, call me back. It takes for what seems to be forever to get my car. I throw him a bill and tear out of the driveway.
I'm hoping she goes to her apartment; she has a good ten minute head start on me.
When I finally make it to her apartment, this is the first time I am glad her security door is broken. I jump the steps two at a time to get to her door. I knock on it, but there is no answer and there is no way I am leaving until she listens to me. I see the light from under the door, so I know she is in there. I am desperate to talk to her and as I beg her to let me in, my voice cracks with emotion. I hear her unlocking the door.
I walk inside and take a step toward her, but she takes a step back. I see the pain and hurt in her eyes on her face and on her tear-stained cheeks. My heart is pounding so loudly that I hear it in my ears. I have to make her see that this was all a misunderstanding.
To top it off, a couple of bi
tches in the bathroom ran their mouths off about her too. Shit! She is referring to herself as a whore, and that pushes me over the top; I will not let her think of herself like that. I raise my voice to get her attention, making her flinch. Then in a quiet tone I tell her that I don't ever want to hear her refer to herself that way. Shit, I am so proud of her and what she is trying to accomplish. I have to get this through to her. She gives me two minutes to explain, and I do. It really was innocent.
I love her so much; she needs to realize this, I have to tell her to make her see this. Her pain is tearing at my heart. I would do anything in my power to keep from hurting her or anyone else from hurting her.
Parker starts crying again, realizing she was wrong. I knew it was just a misunderstanding I knew if she let me explain she would see it, so I don't blame her. I'm sure what she saw made me look guilty. I walk over to her taking her face in my hands, looking deep in her eyes. "I love you." I proclaim and gently kiss her. I don't want to leave her here; I want her to come home with me so I can take care of her. She is so insecure. I can't believe she doesn't see just how beautiful she is and how much I love her.
Chapter 13
Tonight's the Night
Parker
I had a vision of how I want our first time to be. I had dreamt it to be treasured and memorable. I want to show Ian just how much I love him, but it isn't starting out like I want it to. I'm so nervous because I am, afraid that I will have flashbacks of Hank, but I won't know until I try.
We walk into the condo with both of us unusually quiet. I don't know why Ian is quiet, but I am thinking about how I want the evening to go. I take Ian's hand while starting to pull him toward the bedroom.
Stolen Innocence Page 11
