by Lacy LeRoch
I used all the strength I had and pulled myself up into a sitting position, grimacing from the pain as I tried to stand as swiftly as I could. Like a Band-Aid, rip it off fast and worry about the pain later. Holy shit, the pain was almost too much to bear.
I had to hold onto Lucy for a minute to stabilize myself. Trying to stand on my own two feet was extremely difficult. My muscles didn’t want to work. I’d never hurt this bad in my life, never been this weak. Standing like a newborn foal was daunting. The pain, a reminder of everything that had just happened to me. I might not be able to remember the exact details, but the pain that radiated from my tender places was enough clues for me to piece the puzzle together.
Once I had enough strength to stand on my own, I turned my head and looked around the yard. I wanted to make sure that no one was going to try and come back for more.
Please tell me my imagination had run wild? That whatever drug was given to me was playing tricks on my mind.
“Don’t look, Lace,” Lucy whispered, holding onto the back of my shoulders and giving me a little shake.
I spun around to face Lucy. I started pulling at her arms, twisting them over in my hands. I lifted her light blue blouse and checked for marks. She wasn’t hurt and that wasn’t her blood that coated her skin. I was thankful for small miracles, I could handle me being hurt, but not her. Something kept pushing me for more answers.
“Lu, what happened?” I asked in a croaky voice. She didn’t answer me, so I continued, “Lu, please tell me none of this is real. That I’ve just fallen asleep and I’m having one of my wild dreams.”
Lucy looked around at everything but me. She took a breath and looked down at the grass. “I don’t remember what happened either, Lace.” Lucy shuddered as she continued, almost reluctant, “When I left you I took the beer and went back to the car. I woke up covered in blood, and that’s when I noticed,” she swallowed audibly, shook her head and continued, “They were all dead and in pieces. I swear Lacy, I never did this, I swear it wasn’t me. But I wanted too. I wanted each and every one of those pricks to pay for that they did to you. Lace I’m so—”
“No, don’t do this, Lu,” I interrupted her softly, leaning forward and placing my forehead on hers like we always did. “I love you, Sissy, this isn’t your fault. I will always love you. No matter what.”
I never wanted my sister to feel unloved, to feel as though this was all her fault. My sister was the glue that held me together. I would do anything and everything in my power to make her happy, and for her to feel the love that everyone should have.
Lucy leaned back and kisses me on the cheek. “Lace, I love you, too. Never ever forget that, sister of mine.” Lucy gave me a tight smile and took a step back, grabbed hold of my hand and gave it a hard pull.
“But we need to get the fuck out of here, right now!”
That was when reality really hit home, when she finally said the words, it was enough for me to forget all about my pain, hold onto her hand and made me start the run to the car.
“Hey you girls going to stand there all goddamn day, or will I actually get some help from you,” Dad snaps, pulling me out of my memories.
I pull back from Lucy and see she was feeling the same things I just did. She looks just as broken as I feel. We both know the reasons I’ve been drinking and getting into fights whenever I can, I began to remember bits and pieces of what actually happened that horrible night. It was a couple of months before I started getting the flashbacks, not only the rape but the horrendous scene afterward. Never in my life have I seen so much carnage, so much brute anger and violence.
The newspapers dubbed it, ‘The Society Butcher.’ They described it as a massacre to end all massacres, and the write up was huge. In reality, I didn’t expect anything less. Six teenage boys were slaughtered, their arms and legs ripped from their torsos, and we couldn’t explain how it happened. We don’t even know what caused Lucy to blank out. She never had anything to eat or drink. Yes, she took the beer, but she tipped it out as she walked back to the car. So she couldn’t have been drugged.
Even after two years, that isn’t something you soon forget. I tried, I did the whole sleep with anyone thing. I attempted to lose myself in the empty act of sex, but after trying that for six months, I knew I had to stop. It made me feel worse afterward especially remembering how I lost my virginity.
The sex I stopped, but I kept drinking in the hopes that I could forget, it’s why we’re here. I got drunk and tried to drive home. I drove home all right, straight through a wall and into a bedroom. It was just the wrong house.
Oh, but that wasn’t the best part. Are you ready for this one? The house I drove into was the local sheriffs. Fun times followed, don’t ask me how Dad did it, but he got me off all charges. The sheriff made it perfectly clear that he didn’t want to see me around town for a while. If at all, so that’s what brought us out here. Dad packed us up in the car and drove us all to the cabin.
He never said a word about the rape or the drinking. He knows what happened after I confessed, in one of my drunken binges. I couldn’t remember telling him what had happened, but he confronted me the following morning and demanded I explain everything to him from start to finish. It was the single hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life. To sit across from my father at the kitchen table and tell him everything, which was more difficult than the rape itself. I had to relive the humiliation and the degradation. I had to watch his face fill with anger and disgust. After I’d told Dad all about it, I stood in a scolding hot shower and scrubbed my skin until it was raw.
I can understand I’ve let him down, and I don’t think I can ever get that back. He lost his little girl, just as much as I lost my innocence. There’s no coming back from that. Not even if I wanted. I can never get the old Lace back, no matter how much I want her. I’m thankful for one thing, Lucy has never left my side.
I roll my eyes at Lucy and turn to face Dad. “Sure, just tell us what you want and we will get it done.”
Dad narrows his eyes and glares. He doesn’t say anything about the scene unfolding in front of him. The night of my accident, he didn’t ask any questions, he just got Sarah to clean us up. He ordered us to pack up and drove us out here to the lake. Whenever anything bad happens, Dad always brings us out here.
“What would you like us to do?” Lucy asks, taking a step forward.
“Start by cleaning out the cupboards, then move onto packing away all of the kitchen stuff.”
Dad walks out of the room and leaves us to get on with the work. Lucy huffs and walks to the box on the counter to start pulling out all the cleaning supplies.
“It’s going to be a long afternoon,” she moans.
“But we have each other.”
“Lace, can I ask you something?” Her hand moves rapidly over the countertops.
“Anything, you know that.”
I walk over and pick up a cloth, a bottle of cleaner, and kneel down on the tiles. I open the cupboards in front of me and start wiping them clean.
“I think I met someone today, but—”
“But?” I push.
I know what I saw when I looked into her mind. But I want her to come out and tell me, what she thinks is going on?
“You’re going to think I’m crazy.”
I laugh and slap the back of her knee with my cloth, in a playful manner. “You forget who you’re talking with. I’m the mayor of crazy town.”
“Okay, so hear me out. You were asleep on my lap and I couldn’t wake you. Dad pulled up and tried to help you. He told me to go walking, I did. I took… wait, wait… I took pictures.” She squeals in excitement, drops the cloth and runs over to the table where she dumped her phone.
I follow her over and lean over her shoulder watching as she clicks on the camera app and starts flipping through the pictures. Lucy smiles wide and tilts the phone up for me to see. There, on the screen, is a large bald eagle with his wings spread wide.
“I knew it wasn�
��t a dream. But why did I wake in the car, and why couldn’t I remember it?” she asks.
I place my hand on her shoulder, spinning her around. “This happens to me all the time, look.”
I spin around and pull down the top of my shorts, showing her the top of my butt cheek.
“How the hell?”
“I have a bruise, don’t I?” I pull my shorts up and walk back over to the cupboards.
“Yeah, but how?”
“Come on, keep working. The last thing we need is for Dad to have a fit.”
She walks over, picks her cloth back up, and starts wiping down the surfaces.
“So, he’s real?” I hear the hope in her voice. It would seem my sister has a little bit of a crush.
“He is. I met Bevan from my dreams.” I put my fingers up and make the quote signs in the air. “I know they aren’t really dreams. It’s like, I get taken there.”
“I understand that. I saw you with a wolf,” Lucy says looking down at me on the ground.
“Would you girls stop talking and just work,” Dad growls, tilting his head into the kitchen huffing.
“Later.” Lucy chuckles.
“Later,” I agree.
To my surprise, the afternoon moved along quicker than I thought it would. Lucy and I would talk to each other whenever we thought Dad wasn’t listening. But it was as if he was always around the minute we spoke about what happened to her, or my dream. Dad’s list was demanding, and he had a lot of stuff for us to do. I couldn’t wait for the last thing to be done.
The night has come in before we even realize what the time is. All I want to do is crawl into bed and go to sleep. After we’d finished doing everything on Dad’s list of torture, Mom cooked us a beautiful dinner. Then, of course, Lucy and I had to help with the clean-up.
Doesn’t anybody realize that all I want to do is sleep?
I excuse myself and make my way up the stairs and into my bedroom. I’m that tired I don’t bother to turn on the light. Walking over to my bed and sitting down on the edge, like everything else in the house, the king size bed is made of oak. Carvings of the winged men adorn the wood. The headboard is different, carved deep into the wood is a picture of a phoenix rising from a burst of fire and ashes. Lucy and I have the phoenix on our beds. Whenever I lay or sit on my bed, I feel comfort and peace. Dad has always made sure that the furniture that goes into our bedrooms carries the phoenix on it.
I walk over to the cupboard and kick my shoes off, dumping them where they lay. I head back over to my bed and pull the covers back. I growl at my tiredness, forgetting to get changed while I was over the other side of the room. The last thing I want to hear is a lecture from Dad about being unclean and not ready for bed like a proper lady. At nineteen, I still don’t know how a proper lady is meant to get ready for bed.
I start to undress and change into my nightdress. I feel a tingling rise up my back and the hairs on my arms stand on end. I turn around and walk over to the window on the other side of the room.
I shake my head and huff as I make my way over to the window. For the life of me, I can’t remember if I closed it after Dad made us freshen our rooms. That’s all I need, to leave the window open all night and catch a chill, especially with that cold breeze flowing in.
My room has turned ice cold all of a sudden, being a hot summer day, it shouldn’t be as cold as this. I wrap my arms around my waist and make my way over to the bedroom door. I grab my red robe from the hook and slip it on.
“Crap, ouch.”
I jump up and down, grabbing my knee. Jesus Christ, I don’t know what I bumped into, but it really hurts. I hop back over to the bed, balancing my hip on the edge and lean over to turn on my bedside lamp. Looking down at my knee I notice it isn’t a big deal. But what in the world did I hit it on? Once I find out I’m going throw the thing right out the goddamn window. How dare it jump out and hurt me.
I glance around the room, looking for anything out of place. Everything’s where is should be.
“What do I need to do, call Mystery Inc.? We have a mystery on our hands, Shaggy.” I laugh.
I look over toward the door, making sure that no one heard me talking to myself. My family already thinks I’ve gone crazy, I don’t need to give them another reason to confirm it.
I have no idea how I managed to hurt myself on nothing. I’m clumsy, yes, but even I don’t fall over thin air. All I have in my room is my bed, a chest of drawers, my bedside table and chair under the window.
A cold breeze whips around the room making me shiver. I make my way back over to the window. It’s not open, but I can feel a chill. I pull down on the frame as hard as I can, hoping to stop the slightest breeze from coming through. Turning around, I head back over to my bed.
“Are you out of your mind?” the heavily hushed tone, floats up from the garden.
Now, this is intriguing. Who the hell would be out there, especially this late at night? I push the window up, slowly and quietly. Just enough for me to hear what’s going on outside. Is this snooping? Why yes, it most certainly is. But wouldn’t you want to know who was standing outside your bedroom window, talking at midnight?
“You need to keep your voice down,” I hear Dad snap.
Who would Dad be talking to this late at night? He doesn’t keep many friends. He prefers his own company, most of the time.
“What do you mean we aren’t safe? I thought you took care of the situation,” Dad’s voice echoes, over the sound of the crickets in the grass.
I hear the muffled, unclear voice of another male. Dad raises his own, unimpressed.
“Look, this is your job. And you keep messing it up. Let me get this straight, you have intel, someone wants to hurt my girls, but you can’t tell me who or when. As if it wasn’t enough they got hurt before, because of your little fuck up. Which fucking reminds me, please tell me, the Watcher that was meant to be on guard that night he will answer for his lack of protection.”
Why does Dad care all of a sudden, and when did he get bodyguards? This is not like him. He doesn’t react this way with us girls. What, did Dad wake up this morning and think… oh hell, how about I suddenly start caring about my girls? Yeah right, I roll my eyes at the thought. A heavy male voice pulls my attention back to the conversation outside.
“He was brought up in front of the Council, to pay for his crime.”
I pull myself up on the window sill and stay hidden behind the curtains until I realize that if Dad looks up, he’ll be able to see my silhouette. Bugger, that’s not good. I don’t want to get busted tonight, that’s all I need.
I slap my hands down onto my thighs and move back off the sill. Shuffling backward I lean against the frame. This keeps me from being busted but allows me to keep an eye on the activity outside. A cold breeze whooshes past me, and another man turns up next to Dad. I really need to turn my light off so I can keep snooping. In tiptoe in stealth mode back over to the lamp as quietly as I can and reach over to switch it off.
This time, when I get back to my hiding spot, I decide to sit sideways on my seat under the window and pull the curtain back slightly. Shivering, another cold breeze runs up my legs and over my back. It’s the middle of summer and the nights are normally so hot you can’t sleep. So why can I feel the temperature dropping in my room?
Dad is standing in a circle with four other men. They’re all solid in build and just as tall. I honestly don’t think any of them would be less than six foot. I can’t see their faces or make out any features because they are all wearing black hooded cloaks with red trimming around the edges.
Who are these men? And since when does a cult live around the lake? And when did Dad get mixed up in all of this?
The men stand with their backs to me. There’s a symbol on the back of the robes which stretches from each shoulder blade. The picture is quite stunning, it’s two wings facing in opposite directions. One black, one white with red tips interlocked at the bottom.
One of the men, who I can only
assume is the leader starts talking, his voice is thick with an Irish accent. “I told ye, that you needed to keep the girls out of trouble. The mess the Judadic Council had to clean up was huge, it took a lot of time and Watcher power as well I might add.”
Dad takes a step forward toward him. “And I told you, McKinley, my girls couldn’t help the action of others. Why do you think I brought them out here? You know as well as I do why I bring them here.”
The male, Dad called McKinley, takes a step forward, reaches his hands up and removes his hood and glowers at Dad.
“Aye, you did bring the girls out here the first time. And aye, I agree that they shouldn’t be held responsible for the actions of others, but—”
Dad takes a deep breath, looks down at the ground, clenching his fists. “But what, you Irish prick?” he growls, looking up at him.
McKinley chuckles. “Aye, I am Irish and most probably am a prick. Which I might add…” he lowers his voice and wriggles his eyebrows up and down, “…the ladies love—”
The men start laughing interrupting him, McKinley raises a single hand and the laughing automatically stops.
“As I was saying…” McKinley’s confidence crumbles, his face drops, his expression solemn. Then he clears his throat and mutters, “But this time wasn’t the fault of another. This was the action of your girl and you know it. Lacy, is on a short path and needs to be stopped. She’s drawing to much attention to us. It needs to be stopped, Markus.”
Dad charges forward closing the distance between the two of them. He reaches up and takes hold of McKinley’s cloak, near his neck. The other men circle around Dad, getting ready to break it up if needed. McKinley ignores my father, raising his hand toward the other men.
“Just listen to me, Markus…” McKinley turns his head to face the men surrounding them, “…all Watchers are to step down. Markus is only doing what comes naturally. He’s protecting his kin.”
The men step back, lowering their heads. Dad let’s go of McKinley, bows and moves back.
