by Om Swami
I am not a school teacher; you are all adults and you have the right to make your own decisions. But if there is one thing I would say, it would be this: you can skip your meditation on some days if you have to, but don’t skip your exercise. Be regular with it. When I built my little cottage, I had very limited funds and built it over a period of time. The first thing I did, though, was get a little treadmill and made a gym on the ground floor, so I could stretch my body and work out a bit. Otherwise, there is nothing I could do.
Your body is your life,
Please take good care of it.
Inhabit your body.
Live gently inside it.
Become best friends with it.
Hurt your body as little as possible.
You will be surprised by the ways
in which you are
not connected to your body.
This is lifelong learning.
Exercising doesn’t mean you hurt your body, by the way. You don’t need to work out for an hour or two every day. All you need to do is to spend anywhere between two to three hours exercising in a span of seven days, and you will see how your hormones and adrenaline start pumping. You will feel markedly better, and you’ll be surprised at yourself. Sometimes even meditation won’t give you the joy that a simple workout would.
Sleep well and enough.
Eat well and not too much.
Move and stretch enough.
Most importantly, sleep well, and sufficiently. We are spending so much of our time online and with social media nowadays. Rather than sleeping and enjoying living our lives, we recklessly browse through other people’s Facebook pages or read articles about things that don’t matter, and which we won’t even recall later. And we chit chat and exchange jokes and funny videos, like that of a cat jumping over a dog but I fail to see how this is helping anyone.
More of us are falling for this pointless sharing of funny things because we are getting our mind used to feeling happy this way. That’s a terrible thing to do, because your mind will then seek that dose of happiness it gets from watching a funny video. If you don’t give it that dose, it won’t get used to it. On a lighter note, one great thing technology has done is that it has made people humble. At least on the outside. Nobody is walking with a bloated ego anymore. All day long, you see people with their heads bowed over their devices, zooming in, zooming out, swiping and tapping.
Anyway, if you get your mind used to that dose of funny videos or online jokes, what do you gain? Nothing. But if you get used to your spurt of dopamine by watching this stuff online, nobody can help you then. If you check online what your friends are up to, what do you see? Is one of them going to receive a Nobel Prize tomorrow, or has somebody discovered a new theory of relativity or did somebody else become enlightened? Unlikely. The greatest minds in history accomplished what they did by mastering the art of working without distractions.
You could be resting, reading a beautiful book, or writing your own book rather than seeing how chimpanzees gang up on other groups in the Amazon forest. You could be meditating, exercising, cooking a nice meal for yourself, or taking a long walk. But no, we choose to sit and stare at a screen. Or at 3 a.m., you have to say, ‘Let me see where the glaciers are receding, because the earth is depending on my wisdom.’
You don’t need to know any of this. The Internet has made us believe that we have to know a lot of things. You will be increasingly depressed if you spend most of your time online. Why? Because you will see videos of child prodigies, and people who look like they have got their act together – which are mostly illusions, by the way. And then you may feel, ‘I have wasted my life: there is nothing I have done. Nobody knows me. I am not world famous. I have not been invited to the White House to talk about rocket science, the chimpanzees in the Amazon don’t care about me…’or something like that. But this is not true (not alluding to the chimpanzees’ concern). There are talents inside you that you have spent your life nurturing. It’s time to put them to use instead of watching what others are doing.
The online world can never be turned off; only mindfulness can get you out of it. No doubt, we can gain inspiration or wisdom watching or reading something online. By all means, do what you have to do but do it in moderation and be mindful.
There are apps you can use to limit your online time, too. I use one myself. I even use distraction-free writing software, and I have permanently blocked some social media sites. I don’t want to waste my time, or even think about them. Besides, I am not on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, WhatsApp or any other social media platforms. My world is going on just fine and those who need to reach out to me are doing that without having to send a pigeon to me.
Accept and take care
of your medical difficulties.
You know what your body needs
to be healthy and alive.
Everybody at some point in his or her life will have some health issue. It’s a given and that’s okay. Accept it and work towards fixing it, rather than denying it or saying, ‘I can’t do anything about it; now it’s part of my life’. Sometimes, when people gain weight, they say, ‘I can’t lose ten kilos.’ No problem. Can you lose 500 grams? Can you lose a kilogram? Do it. It’s better than not losing any weight.
Please enjoy taking care of your body!
You will learn this sitting quietly.
Your body needs to be healthy. Please enjoy taking care of it. You will know what you need to do by sitting quietly. In rushing, we often lose perspective. There is an example I often give, which occurs in theme parks or fairs. When you are in one of the baskets on the Ferris wheel you see everything changing. As it moves upwards, you see different views. Further up, you see the sky and all the buildings beneath you, and then it starts to go down. The people in the baskets are screaming and shouting. They are feeling that tickling sensation in their bodies, feeling elated. It’s the same basket, the same circle, and you have gone nowhere.
If you are closer to the ground as it turns, you have a different view. You do not feel any of those emotions, and it even feels quite ridiculous to see all those people waving their arms and shouting. If you have never been on a Ferris wheel, you might think, ‘Why are these people doing this?’ But the moment you are on that ride, you can’t help but feel the same feelings yourself.
If you get off the ride and sit down quietly, you see the same old people coming and going, the same old baskets, going around and around. But it is in fact, static. Things may appear to be moving but they aren’t actually.
Sitting quietly or meditating is stepping out of the ride for a few minutes because the mind is on this ride throughout the day. With Zazen or sitting quietly, the mind is sitting outside and just watching. It is not focusing. You don’t focus in Zazen – you just maintain your centre of awareness.
Pain is a natural part of life.
Learn to accept it.
Learn to take care of it – as best you can.
Decrease the complaining.26
Learn to Handle Pain
Most of us get frazzled or feel down very quickly because we expect our lives to be eternally welcoming, positive and free of pain. But no one gets that. Only if we can learn to handle pain can we begin to see the beauty of life. It is as satisfying a feeling as scratching an itch.
When most people get angry, they lash out. When do they feel jealous? When do they feel envy? It’s when they feel pain inside themselves and they are unable to handle it; that is when such pain comes out in the form of angry words and so on.
Pain is a natural part of life.
Learn to accept it.
Learn to take care of it
as best you can.
Decrease the complaining.
Decrease the self-centeredness around it.
Everybody has pain.
The more self-centered you are, the greater the pain you feel. If you observe happy people around you, you’ll see they are generally quite altruistic, eager to help others and live
with compassion. Usually happy people, I’ve observed, are also good empathetic listeners. Less self-centered people are mostly content with their lives. They complain less.
Breathe and relax
Into that pain
as best as you can.
Remember: when all else fails, breathe. Even when your mind goes haywire and into analysis mode, remind yourself that for the following five minutes, you are going to listen to your breathing.
Please accept natural pain.
You will learn this sitting quietly.
Most days will be painful days – accept that. There are four kinds of pain in our lives – painful thoughts, painful emotions, painful actions and painful words. Either our thoughts are hurting us, somebody’s indifference towards us or the kind of emotion they are exhibiting is hurting us. Maybe their words and actions are causing us grief. It can even be all four. Your thoughts are just thoughts. They are not your life. Because so often we take our thoughts so seriously, they take over our mind. They become our lives. It does not have to be this way. If you keep that in mind, a thought will come and a thought will go. But you don’t have to take them seriously. They are not your life. Thoughts are more like the blabbering of a three-year-old who’s playing with their toys. They don’t have meaning per se. Make a room as big as a lake in your mind … those floating thought bubbles here and there won’t matter as much then.
There was a story I wrote on my blog a while ago which I’d like to share with you.
A man once said to Buddha, ‘I don’t know how to handle pain. I don’t want to be angry, but I end up getting very angry. Little things bother me and I can handle the big stuff, but little things set me off.’
Buddha said, ‘Take a cup of water, put a spoon of salt in it, sip it and tell me how it tastes.’
The man took a sip and contorted his face immediately. ‘It’s repulsive! I feel like throwing up.’
Buddha took him to a lake nearby, asked him to put a spoon of salt in the lake and then taste the lake water.
‘How do you feel?’ Buddha asked him after he drank from the lake.
‘The water is sweet.’
It’s the same amount of salt,’ Buddha replied, ‘but it’s now gone into a bigger vessel. Become big.’
Pain in our lives, like a spoon of salt, is more or less constant. Are you going to become a bigger vessel so you are able to contain more or are you going to shrink to a degree where everything seems repulsive and obnoxious? It’s in your hands. The way to expand yourself is to sit down, be quiet and practice the virtues we extoled in the previous chapters.
Serving a cause or fulfilling a purpose expands our consciousness. Take up something bigger than yourself. Then you will become big – nature will have to make you that way. It will help you grow. If you are just going to live for yourself, a whole life will pass. Millions and millions of people are born and they die without any growth in between. That’s entirely in your hands. And you will only grow if you are mindful.
You must at least take a step back and ask yourself, ‘What am I doing with my life?’ Often I meet rich people who say, ‘I am very empty and I want to walk the spiritual path. Tell me, what can I do?’ They often imagine something grand; they want to get into something very big right away and, of course, they ask me what projects they can help me with. I tell them, ‘I don’t have those projects, but you can start with something small.’
Can you go to a hospital once a month and volunteer there? India doesn’t have a Medicare system, and it has a less-than-useful social security system. Can you feed somebody? It doesn’t have to be grand; just one person at a time. Maybe you can go to a hospital and pay someone’s medical bill. Imagine their surprise.
You don’t have to take 300 blankets and go walking through the slums distributing them. Perhaps helping just one person is enough – and believe me, you don’t know whose blessing will protect you. When you receive somebody’s blessing, it can do miracles. I truly believe in this power. If you do a small deed to help a person in need, it would give a purpose to your life, but don’t do it with the sense that the person should acknowledge it.
Can you pay for someone’s education or teach somebody who can’t afford tuition? Maybe you can teach a child how to speak English because, who knows, you may just create a literary genius. Your wisdom will live on in your student. You may be giving somebody a reason to live. It’s the small things that count – tiny, random acts of kindness.
Tip generously when you dine at a restaurant. Maybe leave a ‘thank you’ note with a tip in your room when you checkout of a hotel. I always do that and it gives me great joy to imagine the surprise and pleasure the housekeeping staff will feel when they find it.
When somebody delivers a pizza to your home, maybe that person did not have the same advantages that you did while growing up. Maybe he wanted to study but couldn’t, or his parents did not support him. Maybe his circumstances did not support his development. You are eating a pizza worth 1000 rupees – can you not tip just 100 or even 50 rupees? These little things will all add up.
A pond fills when it rains, drop by drop. With one raindrop at a time, it becomes a beautiful reservoir. Similarly, when you do good acts, that goodness will accumulate little by little. If you are inclined to put 100 rupees in a saint’s pocket in an ashram, temple or a monastery, please put only 10 rupees there and give 90 rupees to somebody who actually needs it.
There are other simple, useful ways you can help. Vidyadaan is the gift of education where you can help educate somebody. Annadaan is the gift of food where perhaps you can feed somebody, and then there is kanyadaan, which is big in India, where you can sponsor the marriage of a girl child from a poor family who can’t afford it. There is also swarnadaan where you can give somebody something they can use on a rainy day. It could well be that you give somebody gold worth 50,000 rupees and he goes and buys an iPhone; it could be that he abuses what you are giving, so give carefully. Give when you know it will be put to good use.
The point is simple: one easy way to handle your pain is to help someone else handle theirs. When you make a difference to someone’s life, nature will make a difference to your life. When you ease another person’s pain, Universal energy will help you relieve yours.
Painful thoughts are like clouds that float through your mind. Some thoughts are clear; some muddy. Any belief is just a long-held thought too. An open mind isn’t attached to thinking or belief; thoughts can be a jail. Watching them come and go lets you go out to play in the universe.
The idea is to be gentle with yourself and with others. Don’t put yourself on the path of austerity and deny yourself living a blessed life. You deserve a life of peace and purpose, of happiness and contentment. We all do.
Practice Non-Violence
There are no surprises that by non-violence I don’t just mean abstaining from physical violence but also refraining from violent words, thoughts and feelings. In this chapter, however, I’m not merely alluding to being non-violent towards others. That’s something we have heard countless times. By non-violence, I don’t mean we should turn the other cheek. What then? Here’s a story first:
Once Buddha, erstwhile prince Siddhartha, and his cousin Devadutta planned to spend a day in the woods, resting under shady trees, playing in the pond and getting pampered by attendants and maids. A royal entourage was arranged for their comfort and safety. Devadutta also carried his bow and arrow even though they had agreed not to hunt.
While they lay near a natural pool, a swan made its way nearby. Seeing a golden opportunity, Devadutta immediately strung his bow and aimed at the bird. Siddhartha tried to stop him but he was adamant. A few moments passed and upon hearing the commotion, the swan rushed away. Devadutta was a good archer though and he let released his arrow which found its target. Seeing the bird fall over, Siddhartha took quick strides and swam towards it.
Miraculously, the swan was still alive. But its body was limp as life was fleeing out of the poor bird. It
s eyes were closing and its wound was bloody. The prince gently pulled out the arrow and squeezed the cool juice of some leaves on the wound to stop it from bleeding. He called one of the physicians in the entourage and applied a few medicinal herbs to the swan’s wound with his tender hands.
The frightened bird began to feel at ease as it gently fluttered its wings. It was in too much pain to fly away though. It lay there resting in Siddhartha’s delicate hands. Devadutta didn’t take it too kindly and felt robbed of his game.
‘Give the bird to me!’ he said to Siddhartha. ‘I shot it.’
‘No way, Devadutta. I saved it.’
‘That’s ridiculous,’ he shouted. ‘It’s my bird, I brought it down with my arrows.’
‘Had you killed it, it would have been yours,’ Siddhartha said, cradling the swan, ‘but since it’s still alive, it belongs to me.’
When the argument couldn’t be settled, they consulted one of the king’s ministers, a member of the royal escort, and who was accompanying them. He said that a hermit lived in the woods nearby and was in a better position to give a verdict on the current matter. As was the custom, they took some offerings of fruits and flowers, bowed before the sage and presented their case.
‘There is no confusion,’ the sage concluded. ‘The swan belongs to Siddhartha.’
‘No!’ Devadutta protested. ‘But why?’
‘Because,’ the sage answered calmly, ‘A life belongs to the one who saves it and not to the one who hurts it.’
This may be a simple story but wisdom lives in simplicity. In fact, it only lives in simplicity. Wise people are simple. Simplicity is Zen. Here is the wisdom in one sentence:
Life belongs to those who love it.
You protect what you love and you naturally try to save what you love. If you hurt life, it stops belonging to you, ceasing to be yours. If given the choice, who do you think the swan would like to be with – Devadutta or Siddhartha? The bird would always be happier with Siddhartha; it would want to live with him because the prince tried to protect it.
