by Casey Hays
“Rael, why don’t you go get us some dry towels while I get the sodas.” Rylin plants a firm gaze on his brother. Rael nods.
“All right.” He faces me. “Nice to see you again, Jude.”
“Yeah. You too.”
Another step, I reach the front of the line, and Rylin, in all his audacity, parks it right next to me and leans his elbows on the ledge, acting as if we came here together or something. I flick my eyes at him in irritation just before Bessie’s face appears in the small square window.
“What’ll it be, Jude?”
“Hi, Bessie. I’ll take a grilled cheese—extra cheese please. A small fruit punch, a pickle, and… some spearmint gum.”
“I believe your friends ordered an Irish boy,” Rylin whispers.
I pierce him with my best glare. “Do you mind?”
“Not at all.”
He whips off his sunglasses, piercing me. My heartbeat skips… against my very strong will.
“Anything else?” Bessie asks.
“A water hose, maybe?” I keep my eyes honed on Rylin’s face. He lowers his head, but not before I see the amused grin. Bessie chuckles and disappears inside.
I angle my body away from him, hoping he’ll get the signal. He doesn’t, but he says nothing more for the moment. I smell mint in the air, stronger than usual. When Bessie hands me my food, I gather it up and skirt around him. He grabs me by the elbow.
“Did I do somethin’ to upset you, Jude?”
That question doesn’t deserve a single syllable in reply, but I stop anyway and peer up at him. He sighs, running a hand through his hair.
“Look. You ran off from the diner in a real rush the other day. I just… I felt like somethin’ spooked you. I was sort of hopin’ it wasn’t me.”
I stare at him. In my mind’s eye, I’m suddenly back in grade school. For days, weeks, a full year, I suffered the worst torture at the sound of his relentless, uninvited music beating inside my head. I was a scared little girl, and he had to have sensed this; I know that now. But he didn’t care. I thought I was going crazy. He didn’t care about that either. He knew what he was doing to me, and he kept on anyway—pushing and digging and trying to find his way in. Even after my father compelled Angelica to keep him off, he didn’t stop trying. And that’s the real catch. He wouldn’t stop.
The other day on my porch, again at The Nest… he still wouldn’t stop.
An anger flashes up inside me deadly enough to kill, and finally, I’m able to wrangle up some nausea at the sight of him.
“Are you really going to stand there and pretend like you don’t know?” I ask.
A hint of confusion crosses his features, but that lasts less than a half second before he figures it out. I hold his eyes, testing him. And in a moment of that stupid bravery Kane warned me about, I take one final jab.
“You keep your mantra out of my head.”
I puff up as I say it, feeling satisfied. Rylin on the other hand? He doesn’t have to move a muscle to match the challenge. One blink, a tiny golden fleck laced in green flames flashes inside the hazel hue of his eyes, and I realize my mistake.
You see, Rylin has always been careful. Maybe the guy never gets tired. Maybe he has no vulnerabilities or weaknesses or fears. Because he has never dropped his camouflage, not even accidentally. That’s how I know he’s done it on purpose. A silent message that he’s on to me.
My lungs cramp up and simply quit breathing, and I tear away and turn on my heels. The grilled cheese melts all over my palm, pickle juice runs the length of my arm, and my heart is on the verge of exploding out of my chest.
I’m an idiot. I might as well have taken my ring right off and handed it straight to him.
Sonata
Kane and Jude
“Where are my wings?”
“You don’t have any.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. They never developed. I guess your mom’s genes were dominant in that area.” He presses the back of his fingers against my cheek. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It matters to me.”
“It shouldn’t. Wings don’t make us who we are.”
“No. But they make you whole.”
“You are whole. You’re exactly who you’re supposed to be.”
“Am I?” I sigh. “I wish somebody had told me.”
“They had their reasons for keeping you a secret. You know this.”
“How long were they going to keep me a secret from myself?”
“I don’t know. Until you were old enough to understand the dangers?”
“When would that be? When I’m dead?”
A frown. “Jude—”
“No. I’m serious. I had a right to know. And you believe that too, or we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
“You’re right.” A sigh. “You’re right.”
A pause. He squeezes me.
“You have to be careful now.”
“Why?”
“Because… you know what you are. That could make you brave. And bravery makes us do stupid things.”
“Are you calling me stupid?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“I’m not going to do anything to get myself exposed.”
“Promise?”
Hesitation. “Not… on purpose.”
“Jude.”
“Okay. I promise not to be stupid.”
He squeezes me again. “You’re going to be a handful for me now, aren’t you?”
“As opposed to the handful I was before?”
Laughter. “Right.”
Big wings fold in, and for a little while, the world goes dark.
Three
“What were you thinking, Jude?”
“I don’t know.” I rub at my temples, irritated at my stupidity. “I guess I wasn’t. He just makes me so crazy. I kind of forget myself when he comes around.”
“Yeah.”
I slump in our corner booth at The Nest feeling just miserable. My carelessness has gnawed at me since I left the pool, and Kane’s disappointment doesn’t help. It’s a beacon flashing its disapproval over and over again in a wide, red circle. I knew it. I knew I’d do something reckless my first day out alone.
I also know how much it bothers Kane that Rylin has this effect on me… and that bothers me even more.
“He didn’t say anything else?” he prods.
“I didn’t give him a chance to. I blew out of there the second I saw his eyes.” I dig up my most apologetic tone and reach for Kane’s hands across the table. “I know I screwed up.”
Jaw clenched, he squeezes my fingers. “You just need to blend in. Like before.”
“I will,” I nod.
I mean it, but skepticism cuts across his face. It’s at least the seventh time he’s given this warning since last night. You’d think it would have sunk in by now. The thing is, I didn’t know I had to blend in before. Now, it’s on the forefront of my mind. And it’s hard.
“I did pretty well,” I counter, hoping he’ll give me some slack. “I spent all afternoon with Devan and Frankie, and they are clueless. And maybe… I read Rylin wrong?”
I make this a question on purpose.
“He knows.” Kane’s thumb deliberately brushes over the ruby ring faithfully positioned on my middle finger. “He’s still trying to push his way into your head.”
“That doesn’t mean he knows,” I argue. “Maybe he thinks I’m one of those eclectic types you mentioned.”
He tips his head, exasperated. “You know he knows, Jude. You heard the audio. You know what we said, and you know we were talking about you. He already knew. And his reaction today should be your biggest clue-in.”
I don’t want him to be right, but he is. I sigh and study a couple being seated two tables over. She carries a baby on her hip, and he holds the chair out for her while the waitress waits patiently to hand them their menus and take their drink orders.
“Did you hear me, Jude?”
“I said, Rylin is the last person you should trust.”
“Right,” I nod. He doesn’t even have to say that out loud to make it true.
We’re interrupted when Charli sweeps in with our order, which consists of a huge plate of French fries and two fresh sodas. The fried, salty smell makes my mouth water.
“I’ve gotta say, kids, this is a terribly unhealthy choice for dinner.” She sets the plate in the middle of the table along with a large bottle of ketchup.
“Yeah, well, we felt like being rebellious tonight.” I waggle my eyebrows and take up a fry, popping it into my mouth. It’s fresh from the fryer and burns my tongue a little. I pick up the shaker and sprinkle more salt over the rest of the pile.
“Just promise me you won’t make a habit of it.” Charli changes out Kane’s empty soda glass for a full one. “All I need is a lawsuit for the death of two lovestruck teens killed by clogged arteries.”
We get a laugh out of that one, and Charli leaves us. Kane twists the lid off the ketchup and pours a pile of it onto the edge of the plate.
“We won’t have to worry about Rylin forever,” I say as soon as Charli’s out of earshot. Kane eyes me cautiously, flips the bottle upright, and sets it down, adjusting himself back into his seat. “He’s only here for the summer.”
Kane doesn’t say anything, and there’s been enough talk of Rylin McDowell for now, so I take a chance at broaching a different subject.
“I was thinking…” I snag a napkin from the holder and waste a couple of seconds wiping grease off my fingers. “Maybe… we should tell your mom what happened last night.”
His goes completely still. “Why?”
I shrug, fully aware that I’m walking over cracked glass by even suggesting this. Because Kane is already in a world of trouble with his parents. And worse, with the Contingent. But the thing is, I’m a little nervous about my new status—specifically the longing that simmers in my veins just beneath the surface. One taste is all it took. One glorious night of fire, and I’m hooked. The urge to yank my ring off? It’s been with me all day. Simply put, I’d feel a lot better if I had a grown-up Fireblood in my corner. Just in case. I make my next move carefully.
“I just… I think we could use…” I toss a glance around the crowded room and finish my sentence in a whisper. “… some guidance from an older Fireblood, you know?”
Kane stares at me another second before his mouth twists into a dimpled smile.
“Oh. Okay.” His voice floods with sarcasm. “Yeah, you see, that’s only a good idea if you’re ready to pick out my tombstone.”
I laugh, grateful that he’s at least taking the suggestion in good humor rather than angrily shutting me down.
“Your mom is not that bad,” I retort.
“Then you don’t know her too well.” He studies me, clearly scoping me out to see if I’m actually serious. When he’s satisfied that I am, he reaches around the plate, sliding his warm hand over my own. “Jude, you’ll be fine. The only difference between yesterday and today is that you learned something about yourself that has always been there. And now we get to know it together.”
I smile. “That’s slightly romantic.”
“It is, isn’t it?” He lifts my hand, kissing my fingers. “So don’t be flashing your identity in public anymore, and we won’t need Mom to ever know a thing. Just… be human.”
He smiles when he says it, but I know it’s a warning. And trust me, it’s much easier said than done.
“Yeah. Okay.” I roll my eyes to lighten the load of anxiety building inside me and take another bite, chewing for a second.
“Okay.” Satisfied, he pops a ketchup-drenched fry into his mouth.
“So… is your Mom going to the hearing with you?”
The change in subject throws him off. His smile fades. “Yeah, she is.”
“When is it?”
He stirs a fry through some ketchup. “Next Monday.”
I take a cautious breath. “Can we talk about that now?”
“Why?”
“Because I’m interested. I want to know what’s going to happen with you.”
“Why, Jude? It’s not that big of a deal.”
And therein lies our problem. Ever since I learned that he’d been summoned before the Contingent’s disciplinary board, he has refused to tell me anything about it. Not about the process or what they expect of him or how they will punish him for his actions—nothing. Instead, he blows it off, as if it’s of no importance. And it’s obvious that if he has his way, I’ll stay ignorant of the whole proceeding.
“Look, I’m worried, all right?”
He intently examines the fries, picking through for a fat one and avoiding my eyes. “I’ve got it under control.”
I squint, assessing him.
“You’re lying.”
“What?”
“You’re lying,” I repeat.
He strategically drags another French fry slowly through the ketchup until a white smile emerges inside the red splotch. “Why would you think that?”
“Because you won’t look at me.”
He looks at me. I sigh.
“Just tell me something to ease my mind.”
“Fine.” His eyes flash gold once and fade out. “They’ll question me about what happened the night I flared. That’s all you need to know.” He wipes a napkin across his lips, and with one finger, pulls a slat in the window blinds downward, peers out, and lets it snap back into place, squarely settling his eyes on me. “Satisfied?”
“No.” Agitated, I stare him down.
“Well, that’s all I can tell you. It’s my first hearing, you know.”
“What about Gema?” I break a fry in half and drop the two ends onto the edge of the plate. “Can’t she tell you anything?”
He drops his half-eaten fry and rubs at the bridge of his nose. “She just said I’d better not blow it. If I keep calm and answer all of their questions truthfully, they won’t have a reason to probe me.”
“Probe you?”
Okay, that’s some terminology I wasn’t expecting.
“Yeah.” He lifts his cup, propping an elbow, and hands me a menacing grin. “Their detectors will gnaw on my brain until they uncover all my dark secrets. Neat, huh?”
No. There’s nothing neat about that description. In fact, a terrible visual pops into my head where Kane is tied to a chair with jumper cables strapped to his chest while water drips from the ceiling. I push the image out of my head quickly and refocus.
“That’s not funny. And what are detectors anyway?”
“Interrogators who work for the Contingent,” he shrugs.
“So… if you blow it, they’ll eat your brains?”
He laughs, setting his soda down with a clink, and covering my hand with his.
“Jude, it’s cool. I’ll just apologize, and it will all be over. Nothing to it.”
“And if you blow it?” I repeat.
I lean in, the French fries and sodas forgotten, and I see a small shift in his eyes. He makes light of this situation so I won’t be scared, but I know Kane too well; he’s not as okay with all of this as he’s pretending to be. He’s fighting a few demons inside there, and they reach out toward me… just enough to make my chest burn. I so wish I could feel him like last night when our mantras dragged our souls together, and the magic was born. If I could feel him, I just might know what he’s hiding.
Something in his eyes changes, and believe it or not, I almost think he just read my thoughts right through my camouflage. His shoulders tense.
“They’ll go in,” he says quietly, and I hold still, waiting for him to finish. “Mind invasion.”
My blood goes cold. “Are you saying… they’ll read your mind?”
“No.” I see the muscle in his cheek flinch, and the color drains out of his cheeks a little. “Mom says they have… this way of… unearthing memories.”
“So… they’ll see everything?” I whisper. “Everything you’ve experienced?”
“If they want to, yeah.” He pauses.
His intense expression falls off into an easy smile as he tries to pull us back to level ground. It doesn’t work. My whole body tightens. Our memories are so tangled up with each other, only an idiot would miss it.
“What kinds of questions will they ask?”
“I don’t know.”
“Will they ask who was with you that night?”
“Maybe.”
“And you’re sure the audio is gone? Every copy?”
“Yes.”
“And if, by a very slim chance they probe you, will they know about last night?”
He just lifts his brows, saying nothing.
“And what if—”
“Jude.” He cuts me off. “Stop. This feels like an interrogation.”
Blinking once, I slide my hands backwards off the table and into my lap. Kane sighs.
“I’m sorry.” He rests his elbows on the table, tapping a fist against his bottom lip. “We should stop talking about it now. This just isn’t helping. I mean, I wasn’t nervous before, but now? Geesh!”
“Sorry.”
We sit in silence, our eyes, our thoughts, our fears connected. I slide my fingers upward until I feel the cool metal of the key hanging from my neck. He traces the motion.
“You shouldn’t have showed me what I am,” I whisper. “You should have waited until after the hearing, at least.”
“It wouldn’t matter,” he answers. My hand stills against my chest.
“Why?”
“Because it doesn’t matter that you didn’t know until last night. I still did. I’ve known for twelve years, and I’ve helped to hide it.” He picks up his soda, clutches it in his grip, then sets it back down without drinking. “There’s no way out of this hearing. But I’m going to do everything in my power to keep them from finding out about you.”
“You think I’m worried about myself?” I straighten, a sudden righteous anger pricking at me. “I’m afraid for you, you idiot. I’m terrified of what they will do to you because of me. And what about your parents? They helped hide me too.”
The tears sting before I have a remote chance of stopping them, and pain flashes through Kane’s eyes. He slides out of his booth seat and into mine to wrap an arm around my shoulders.
