"Blow me," Alex muttered. He attempted to roll over, but it took too much effort and was too painful.
"Kimball, do not make me put this boot up your ass." Roman picked up the boot Sydney had thrown at Alex from its place of honor on the nightstand. "Get the hell out of that bed."
Alex moaned. With distaste, he felt warm breath at his ear.
" Now !!!" Roman roared.
Alex shot off the mattress and stood on barely functional legs. "Christ Almighty! What the hell do you want!"
"Put these on," Roman ordered, tossing a pair of jeans at him. "And this." The collar of a clean shirt hit him in the jaw. Alex fumbled with the clothing, disgusted to find that something had died and rotted in his mouth overnight.
"What rock did you crawl out from under, and why are you in my face?"
"Your father called me this morning around two o'clock. He said you'd fallen into a bucket of Johnnie Walker and you were two-stepping around the front yard with a rake as a partner, howling that Two Tons of Steel song about it taking a redheaded woman to get a dirty job done."
"Bullshit," said Alex, confident in his disbelief.
"I said to Mr. K, 'No, I've known Alex for thirty years, and I've never seen him do anything that stupid.' "
"Nope, no way."
"And your dad said, 'Well, I've known him for thirty-five years, and the only thing I've seen him do stupider than this was let that little auburn-haired gal drive away. You might know her? She's related to your fiancee.'"
Alex had stopped with one leg into the jeans.
"Get your damn pants on, you dumb yokel. Your dad and I had a little chat when I came over to pull you out of the Johnnie Walker."
"That so," mumbled Alex. He buttoned his fly.
"She's leaving today."
"She who?"
"Listen to me, Alex. From what Julia's told me, Sydney spent hours with her grandmother when the old lady had Alzheimer's. Grandma told tall tales, threw food, wore bizarre combinations of clothing, and cussed and bitched. Sydney loved her through it all. She never walked away. Her feelings for her never changed."
"Is there a point to all this?"
"Do you love your mother any less now that she's changing?"
"What is this? Fuck off, Dr. Phil!"
"Does your father love her any less? Does Mrs. K love you any less?"
"Go away."
"Alex, the point is this: You probably won't even get the damn disease. It skips generations. But if you did, you'd have lived a full and happy life. And you should live that life with a wife and kids if you want them."
"Yeah, great, I should pass it on! Pull your head out, Roman. Look at what's going on in this house. I can't do that to someone."
"You're not doing anything to anyone. You don't control the odds. The Guy Upstairs does. And he generally laughs the hardest at the people who try to dodge what's in store for them."
"Roman. You're way too profound for eight o'clock in the morning. Now for pity's sake, at least bring me some aspirin."
After supplying him with painkillers and water, Roman kept at him. "I don't know what's gone on between you and Sydney Spinelli, man. It's not really my business, except that I feel awful for any role I've had in hurting her. But if you're dancing a rake around in the small hours, and yodeling about redheaded women, I'm going to extrapolate from that an interest in Sydney on your part."
Alex opened his mouth.
"While I realize that she wants to rip my balls off and feed them to me, I think she feels differently about you. So ask her to stay for a few more days. Figure out what this is between the two of you."
Alex closed his mouth.
"I'm going to drive you over there. You're in no condition to get behind the wheel."
"She hates me, Roman. She outran Wesley Taunton in his squad car to rip me a new one."
"Would all that hate be there, buddy, if some kind of feeling weren't on the flip side?"
Alex sighed. "I'm not sure."
Sydney hugged her sister goodbye and walked outside to the Marv's Motor Inn parking lot. She would no longer be counting sheep for cheap.
A little hurt that Julia hadn't accompanied her outside, she unlocked the trunk of the junky little rental car, opened it and tossed her laptop and small suitcase inside. She closed the trunk and emitted a small shriek when she turned and saw Alex Kimball.
He looked worse than hell and twice as sexy: bad boy, movie star, messed up hair; circles under his eyes that hung to his belt buckle; and his trademark five o'clock shadow.
"Hey, Jersey," he said softly. His voice held something she couldn't quite put her finger on something alien to his personality. With surprise, she realized it was uncertainty.
He reeked of whiskey and cover-up mouthwash. The liquor sprang from his pores, and no amount of minty-fresh anything would hide it. She hoped he hadn't been driving.
"I'm looking for the woman whose foot fits this boot." He held up the one she'd thrown at him.
Sydney's mouth dried on the spot . I am not this easy , she told herself. When she could breathe, she said, "I believe she may have left the, um, kingdom."
"Nope," said Alex. "I don't think so."
She noticed that, for the second time, the man who never sweated had drops of perspiration rolling down his temples and dotting his forehead.
"Listen, if you happen to see her" He cleared his throat. "Could you tell her there's a big toad who'd really like her to stay a few more days. At a decent hotel, on his tab."
Sydney's brows rose, and he winced. "I mean. Uh. I only meant a hotel other than the one her sister's running."
"I know what you mean."
"A hotel where she and the, uh, toad could have some privacy and talk. About whatever this feeling is that the toad has and hopes she has for, uh, him" He trailed off and winced at her expression.
Sydney folded her arms. "How many brain cells did you kill off last night?"
"One or two." He caught his upper lip under his teeth and squinted at her hopefully.
"Toad, I'm going to say something to you that you once said to me. You stink!"
His face fell. "Yeah. I hear tell that I fell into a vat of Johnnie Walker last night and two-stepped with a garden rake. Worse, I howled at the moon about a redheaded woman."
"Talented toad." But her lips twitched in spite of herself.
"He aspires to a higher station in life."
"And what might that be?"
"Well" He sidled closer to her. "I've heard this theory that if you kiss a toad, he immediately turns into a"
"Forget it," she said. "Your crown is most definitely in the shop for repairs."
"I was afraid of that."
"And it'll probably come back as ten-carat plate over surgical steel."
"Ouch."
"You remain a lowly amphibian for the next few days."
Alex dared to step closer and slip his arms around her waist. "And then?"
Damn, I am this easy . "Then it's either formaldehyde for you, or a kiss."
"Are you sure I can't get a preview of coming attractions?" he whispered, closing his mouth over her earlobe.
"Oh," she said, "I'm sure that somewhere we can find a ruler, a spiral notebook and a sadistic kid with braces for you." She grinned evilly.
"Jersey," Alex said, "I think I'm in love with you. And you have a mouth that just won't quit." Then he closed his own over it, for quite some time.
* * *
If you enjoyed watching Sydney Spinelli race to Texas to save her baby sister from marrying a pretty boy Texan in First Date , you'll definitely want to see how the Sonntag family feels about their future sister-in-law
Meet Kiki Sonntag. She's the perfect bridesmaid sexy, stylish, and a former Miss Texas beauty pageant queen with the talent and determination to become a big actress in New York City. When she gets word of her brother Roman's upcoming nuptials to a Jersey girl she's never met, she's sure she needs be her wedding consultant and plan the grant event,
no matter who her in-laws will be. But a nasty tabloid scandal forces her into hiding in Manhattan's swankiest new hoteland the playboy owner has some plans of his own for Kiki that begins with their
First Kiss
BOOK TWO IN
The Bridesmaid Chronicles
(Read ahead for a sneak peek of Kiki's story.)
* * *
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected] [email protected]
Subject: Venting
Suzi-Suzi and Danni!
It's after midnight and too late to call, so here I sit banging away on my laptop. May I please share two things that are currently driving me insane?
) Polygamy! Why is this a crime? The multiple wives/husbands are at least sharing responsibilities. Meanwhile, there are no laws to protect bridesmaids. I'm already booked for four weddings this summer, and now my brother is getting married. That's five new dresses to buy that I will only wear once! Five trips to spots on the map that require me to get on a plane and fly coach! Five bridal shower gifts! Five wedding gifts! And you know my luck. If there was one straight, single, smoking-hot groomsman to look forward to, then it might be worth it. But that's never the case. 1 get stuck trudging down the aisle with the teenage boys fighting acne, boring salesmen who are already married, and gay cousins. Never the straight hot guy. Ugh! It's so unfair. I should write my congressman. Hmm. Who is my congressman? Wait! I'll e-mail Hillary. She's a senator. That's higher up the political food chain. I'm sure that she'll want to help. I mean, Chelsea's probably just starting to go through this sort of thing. I imagine that she'd be a very popular bridesmaid. Don't you think?
) Botox! I can't afford it this month. Why? Because of all these wedding expenses! And there's also the fact that I'm not working right now. That doesn't help. Anyway, I don't know what's worse for my frown linesnot getting Botox, or stressing out about not getting Botox. All I can do is double up on my new Principal Secret products. Victoria's new Reclaim line has an ingredient called Argire-line that's supposed to smooth out lines. I've been applying it every two or three hours. You know, I think it's starting to work.
P.S. This is way off point, but I would totally get behind the controversial cloning issue if a brilliant scientist agreed to duplicate Jude Law.
Air Kisses, K
Kiki plunked down with a dramatic sigh and immediately flagged a waiter for a Diet Coke with lime. "You don't know what I went through to get here." She glanced around quickly for famous faces. Celebrities frequented the eatery all the time. Ooh. Wasn't that the hot guy from Survivor ? Yummy. Civilization definitely agreed with him. "I have two dollars to my name," she announced without preamble. "And a credit card that the manager will probably cut up in front of my face."
Danni opened up her clutch to flash a thick wad of cash. "No worries, sweetheart. I did a new routine to 'Pour Some Sugar on Me' by Def Leppard last night. After I nailed my new move on the pole, it rained money."
Danni Summer worked as an exotic dancer at Camisole, the hottest gentleman's nightspot in Manhattan. The hysterical part was this: She never took off her clothes. For Danni, a nice Christian girl from Mississippi, it got no skimpier than a modest bra and panties set. She merely loved choreographing and performing dance routines to songs by her favorite bands from the eightiesDef Leppard, Poison, Bon Jovithe list went on. Where else could a girl do that but a strip club? And who else could get away it but Danni Summer? She was drop-dead beautiful. A near dead ringer for Nicole Kidman with her auburn hair, lissome body, and porcelain skin. Management at Camisole kept her on because she packed the club even without flashing the goods.
Suzi-Suzi glanced at Danni with imploring eyes.
"Everything's on me today," Danni offered. As if anyone had to hold their breath. She was one of the most generous people Kiki had ever known.
"Did you get my e-mail?" Kiki demanded.
The girls nodded.
"It was hilarious," Suzi-Suzi put in. "I want to know who this girl is that your brother's marrying all of a sudden. But I guess the more pressing question is when's the baby due?"
A chorus of girlish giggles.
"She's from New Jersey ," Kiki said, putting enough topspin on the words to equate New York's neighbor state to the hills of Appalachia.
Danni pointed to Kiki's Diet Coke, which sat there untouched and sweating, as if angry about its no-line status. " New Jersey ? You're going to need a stronger drink than that."
"Ughthat's only the beginning," Kiki said. "Her family owns a chain of motels. Mary's Motor Inns . Can you imagine?"
"Is that the kind of place where kids with no money go on prom night?" Suzi-Suzi asked.
"They're actually not that bad," Danni put in. "I have an aunt and uncle who love road trips. I've heard them rave about the chain."
Kiki remained skeptical. "Oh, and here's another fun fact. Guess who's best friends with the bride?"
Suzi-Suzi's eyes sparkled. "Is she famous?"
"Yes," Kiki answered. "Famously awful. It's Vivien . That horrible woman who represented Walter in our divorce."
A look of alarm flashed across Danni's face. "Is she a bridesmaid?"
Kiki nodded. "Why can't my brother elope? Or just get drunk in Vegas and be done with it like Britney and Nicky Hilton managed to do."
"Urn, I think both of those marriages were annulled," Suzi-Suzi pointed out.
"Whatever," Kiki grumbled. "It's just so unfair. I don't expect this Julia girl to know any better. I mean, she's from New Jersey. But Roman's my brother! And did he consider me in any of this? How self-involved can one person be?"
The waiter returned with the lime and stood poised for their orders. It was salads all around plus an entree to share of steak frites with the thinnest, most perfectly salted fries in the world.
"Why couldn't Roman have been gay?" Kiki went on. "It would've been like having a sister all these years, and I wouldn't be dealing with any of this."
"Look at the bright side," Suzi-Suzi offered. "In a few months, you'll have a niece or nephew to spoil rotten."
Kiki blanched. "NO more baby jokes. Please . One day, yes, but not so soon after the wedding. I think a couple should be married for at least five years before having kids. I mean, you have to build in time for the possibility of divorce." She shook her head and sipped on her drink before erupting with, "All these weddings! And none of them are mine?"
Suzi-Suzi piped up again. "That's okay. We shouldn't be made to feel less than just because we don't have husbands." She halted. "Well, I sort of have one, but he's not mine legally, and I never get him on holidays. And when he's around, he never wants to do manly things like fix the running toilet or move furniture. He saves that part of himself for his real wife. Chad just wants to have sex. Come to think of it, he's really just some asshole guy who calls me up when he happens to be free and horny. Remind me to break up with him. But back to my point. Most of the married women I know are not the happiest bunch. They pop Xanax and Paxil like Tic Tacs and constantly complain about their husbands not being interested in anything they have to say. If that's the case, aren't we better off single?"
"Most days," Kiki said. "But right now I wouldn't mind having a husband with a nice income to rely on." Thoughts of Kiki's short-lived first marriage smoked her brain. Walter Sharpe. What had she ever seen in that rich old bastard? Besides all the exotic trips, new clothes, and jewelry. Hmm. That list seemed fairly complete.
"Don't worry. Everything will work out," Danni whispered soothingly. "You're just in a bit of a slump. I can help you out. In my bedroom closet, I've got shoe boxes stuffed with cash I've earned from dancing. Just take one. I'll never know the difference."
"Do you really think it's safe to keep all that cash around?" Suzi-Suzi asked. "Why don't you put it in the bank?"
Danni shrugged. "I keep meaning to, but the banks are closed when I get off work." She reached for Kiki's hand and squeezed it for emphasis. "I'm serious. Come over and grab a box. Take the one my Gucc
i boots came in. That's a big box with lots of money."
Kiki was touched. "You're so sweet. But since I'm taking the box anyway, do you mind if I borrow the boots, too?"
"Not at all," Danni said. "And they will look so cute on you."
Kiki experienced a surge of relief. Financial crisis avertedfor the moment. Suddenly, it dawned on her that there would be no funds emergency at all if Walter had not been so well represented by Vivien. Evil divorce lawyer. Sworn enemy. Now a fellow bridesmaid. "Whenever I think about that prenup, I just feel like screaming. So what if I didn't read it before I signed. I barely have time to read Us magazine, and the courts expect me to study a thick legal document? Besides, what sane person would agree to anything other than lifetime alimony? I should've been declared incompetent just for signing it in the first place. God, it's ridiculous. I gave that man ten months of my life, and all I got in return was three years of support and a gag order to never speak about him in public."
"It's all because of that Vivien," Suzi-Suzi spat. "How are you going to stand being in the same bridal party with her?"
"Keep in mind that what happened had no personal intent," Danni reasoned. "Think about it. Walter hired her to do a job. She would've fought just as hard no matter who was on the other side."
"You know, I've read that women are the real sharks in divorce law these days," Suzi-Suzi said. "Men are hiring them left and right because they work like hell upholding prenups and even get fathers full custody of their children. What, I ask you, has happened to sisterhood?"
Kiki sighed wearily. "I don't know. But I bet you anything these women were not popular in high school. I mean, take Vivien. She's very tall. You know how boys are about that. I can't see her having many dates back then."
"It's so classic," Suzi-Suzi remarked. "She makes you pay for her childhood wounds."
"I know," Kiki said. "If so wrong. And they say beautiful people go through life with such ease. If you ask me, it's the pretty girls who suffer the most."
First Date - [Bridesmaid's Chronicles 01] Page 20
