by Anthology
I absentmindedly rub my wrists.
“The rope was soft but still abrasive. The sensation a strange mix of discomfort and bliss. He came to the side of me and from a drawer in his nightstand pulled out a wooden twelve inch ruler, which were very common items leftover from school days, and a large feather. He placed both items on my belly.
First he picked up the feather and lightly glided it up my sides, stopping at my breast to swirl and swirl it over my aching nipple.”
“That sounds hot,” Akiyo murmurs. Her arms are crossed and she is chewing on her lip.
“Yes, yes, it was hot. If goosebumps could grow on top of goosebumps, mine were. He worked the feather down the center of my body to where I was open wide, stopping just before that little hidden button, and placed the feather back on my stomach. The ruler was used in its place. The rough corner tracing my ribs, the curve beneath my breast, up and over the pointed tip. I remember closing my eyes and relishing the delicate touch of such an object. He took advantage of my distraction and struck my sensitive nipple with the flat side of the ruler. I screeched and tugged to protect my stinging skin, but the ropes held me captive. I breathed in heavy gasps, as the stinging subsided to a burn and pulsing ache. That hot ache made my insides tingle. I became calm and waited in anticipation for the next strike. This time when he smacked the other breast, I rode the wave of sensations up and down, enjoying the decadence of it. Of course, I still gasped whenever the thwack sounded and landed, but each time, the temperature between my legs rose, that heightened sensation of wanting to be touched, and aching for release.
He did not relent so easily though. He wielded that ruler on my thighs, back to my breasts, even against my unprotected womanhood. When he delivered the blow to my hidden jewel, well, I almost came right on the spot. I was moaning loudly, begging him, ‘Please, please, please.’ Not once did stop even fall from my lips, but he did and teased me with that feather again, caressing all of the spots that ruler had marked.
I was writhing, trapped, but not from the pain. You see, I was wanting so badly.” One corner of my mouth lifts, “Horny. He knew it too. He did not even remove his clothing, only undid his slacks. He pulled out his hard cock and thrust into me. It was not sweet and gentle. It was hard, primal. He fucked me, and claimed me.
I was his for a while before we drifted apart. I needed more than what he could give me. We had different desires at that point, yet I was still a bit heartbroken, in some ways. He was the first man who understood my necessities and cravings. But in the end, he wasn’t the right one, and we moved on.”
A shrill noise interrupts me. “I’m sorry, Libby. If they are buzzing for me it must mean that someone didn’t show up for a shift and they know I’m still here. Now do you see why I have no social life? If you’re still awake later, we’ll pick up right where we left off, okay?”
I wave with one hand for her to go. “I know the drill. I’ll buzz if I need anything,” I tease her. It is not very long after she disappears that the deep pharmaceutical slumber envelopes me once more.
CHAPTER FOUR
My tests keep coming back with slight improvements. The doctors and nurses tell me that’s a good sign. If things keep improving, it’s possible that I could be discharged in the next two to three weeks. It’s the antibiotic resistant infection that still needs to be monitored, as the infection had previously also entered the blood stream. However, they say that I am responding to all treatments very well.
Akiyo’s day off, but she came to visit. She’s such a sweet girl. Today she has brought a bright bouquet of flowers. I think she feels a little badly that I have had no visitors.
Akiyo makes herself comfortable in the empty chair completely armed with a soda and bag of candy ready for more of my tale. “You know Libby, you are amazing. It’s like you’ve led this completely secret and separate life. I would have never guessed that you were this wild woman. I mean, you look so poised and classy. Who knew that underneath you were so sinful?” Akiyo giggles.
“Poised and classy? Is that your way of saying that you can never believe that this old lady used to be young and kinky?” I laugh along with her.
“No! and yes,” Akiyo is still laughing. “But Libby, you know, you’re still pretty. You are one of those ladies who hold that beauty even as they grow older.” I let a little ‘ha’ loose. “Libby, I look forward to hearing you every day because you are truly like no woman I have ever met. Your life, it’s like a fiction book or movie or something. So, tell me what happened next? I’m dying to know.”
“I spent the rest of the seventies, I suppose you can say, being trained. I moved within circles where the lifestyle was common, even being taken to homes or establishments to learn, watch, talk, mingle, being introduced and interviewed by potential Doms. You have to remember at that time there was no internet, no specialized websites for alternative lifestyles. BDSM was called SM and very much considered a perversion, so interactions had to be developed and found underground, of sorts. It was a chain of knowing people who knew people. Being invited to gatherings in homes or back rooms of clubs. You lived the lifestyle secretly.
With each man or woman…”
Akiyo cuts me off, “Woman?”
“Well, yes, Dominants come in both sexes, as do subs. A woman can be just as assertive and desire a relationship with a sub as much as any male Dom. I had experiences with both, and with each came a greater expanding of my knowledge, and desires, as every new one would push my limits a little further. But it seemed as though I never found my match.
At times, we just grew bored of each other. Some did not want to go further in my exploration. Some wanted to go drastically beyond what I imagined that I wanted or could want. Then, there were those that I enjoyed all of the sexual play with, but outside the bedroom we just did not enjoy each other’s company in normal circumstances.
You see, this type of relationship requires so much more than a normal connection. A bond between a Dom and his sub goes even further than just love. The sub gives more than romantic love of herself. She gives all of her being to her partner. She allows him to have her mind, body and even soul, and there is an absolute trust between them. There has to be.
It was the very end of the seventies when I began to notice Jimi. One could not ignore his presence. He was extremely attractive, movie star worthy. To me he looked like Warren Beatty, simply gorgeous.
I had heard whisperings of him, a very strict and demanding Master. He had never met any sub that he wanted to keep for very long. None withstood his tests over time. Needless to say, the unattainability of him made him even more desirable to me and other girls.
At the time, I was unclaimed. I was curious about him, began to wonder what exactly he required. I knew that he had women throwing themselves at him all the time, in the normal world and the subversive. I believe it turned out to be the fact that I did not flaunt myself, and availability, in front of him when he was around that was eventually what led him to me.
I would stay in the background, subtly observing at events. If by chance we made eye contact, I would lower my gaze. I was quiet, only speaking when I was spoken to by other Doms. I chose to begin sitting almost hidden in the corners, not only to avoid the attention of those seeking a girl, but to also learn about Jimi. I watched his gestures, his face, his body.
He was very much unlike anyone that I had met. He was very stoic and aloof. I found he did not smile. He was dismissive of those who would present themselves to him standing with a lowered head or even kneel before him. He was very hard to read indeed. I was not sure why I continued, or even that I would ever try to engage him. And so I sat, watching, waiting, for months.”
“For months? You hung out where he was without ever doing anything?”
I laugh a little, “Yes I did. Sounds silly doesn’t it? It wasn’t like I was out every night. On weekends, I would attend gatherings and hoped that he may make an appearance. It had become a pursuit of patience for me, and a challenge. A challenge to see i
f I could attract one of the most wanted Doms in town. I don’t think that I had thought much past that point really.
Then one evening, I was ready to admit defeat. I was walking to my car to go home when he stepped out in front of me and spoke two words, ‘Your name?’ I was stunned into silence momentarily and whispered, ‘Libby.’ He gave a curt nod, turned and walked away.”
“That’s it? Nothing else, he just left?” Akiyo is shocked. I nod, and grin as she continues to snack on a bag of candies.
“That was it. He progressed at a snail’s pace with anymore interaction. I didn’t know what to think. But eventually, about a year later, he said that he wished a trial period with me. I agreed.
He was unlike any other Dom that I had been with. There was very little if any personal conversation. To begin with we spent time just discussing my limits and boundaries. Thinking back, it was all very clinical, purely exchanges of information. Once he decided that we could move to the physical aspects, we never did spend the night together.
Most often, my phone would ring close to the same time every time. He would give me instructions. I would leave my door unlocked and wait for him however I was ordered. Afterwards, I was left alone. He was never an affectionate man. In my mind, I thought this was all another way to push my limits, become an even better submissive.
Then, he did something that he had never done. He began to take me to gatherings, on his arm. I was displayed as his. This was a big deal as he had never claimed a sub publically before. I have to admit, it gave me great pride.
In eighty-four, he presented me with a task that was different from any proposed to me before then. He wished to mark me.”
Akiyo’s eyes pop, and she claps her hands, “The tattoo?!”
I sigh, “Yes, the tattoo. Taboo. Besides the fact that women simply didn’t get tattooed, there were many areas that women were not even allowed in tattoo shops. That is why Jimi had an acquaintance do it, but not in the way that you think.” I have to shake my head and inwardly snicker. “I guess you’d call it a jailhouse tattoo because the man used a needle with thread wrapped around it and a little cup of India ink. He poked and poked with the needle, little dots making the lines. It was a painstaking process. One I actually didn’t mind.”
“Why’d you let him do it, Libby?”
“I wanted to continue to be a perfect submissive. This was another confirmation that I was true in my desires to serve. I suppose that I passed the test because he proposed to me that night.”
“What?”
“We got engaged, yes, but our arrangement remained the same.”
“You said yes, but…why?”
“Well, I had never had a relationship quite like that one. I thought that I was being a good sub, besides, I had never steadily seen one person for such a long period, much less years. I believed it was the logical next step.”
“You say, logical, not love…You married him? Tell me, what happened?”
“Don’t jump the gun, Akiyo,” I cannot help but laugh. It’s somewhat like I am a one woman play, and Akiyo is the excited, interactive audience.
“As I said, our arrangement was still pretty close to as it had been, except we began venturing out in our play, so to say. He arranged what would be my first group scene. I had never actually been involved in a group adventure, been a spectator, yes, but to actually be part of one, no. I was terrified and eager.
There were to be six of us including a female Domme, her female sub, and two male Doms who were free. I was made aware of some of the rules ahead of time. I was allowed to service any of them, and I could be used by everyone however they chose, with the exception of my limits which all were given beforehand as well.
The location, well, it was a swanky nightclub. Though Studio 54 had closed years before, the spirit of excess and debauchery was still alive and well. We were in a private room with private, and discreet, staff to serve our needs. As does now, money talks in all situations. Besides, I don’t think they minded as they had a free show,” I giggle.
The other girl and I stood there nude in the corners of the smoky room. We each had our hands cuffed in black leather with a fine chain between the wrists. Our heads were directed down as our other two guests arrived, so I did not get a good look at them. The others talked, socialized as though it were any other intimate get together. Jimi approached me first and instructed me to go beside a black leather chair and get on all fours. The other girl was instructed to do the same near another chair. We were to be used as tables, footrests, whatever useful object that anyone required us to be.
In my periphery, I could see Jimi and the female Domme doing lines of cocaine from her own sub’s rear and lower back. Every now and then, the woman would place one of her heeled feet on to the girls back and grind down. I could tell by the way the girl swayed her back under the pressure of the point. The other two males were standing by the bar smoking and talking. It’s strange but being ignored or not used by anyone upset me.”
“Why?”
“What good was I if I was not serving a purpose, a Master, so to say? And maybe, just maybe, I was a little jealous, especially when one of the other Sirs moved over to her as well.” I place a finger to my lips in thought and look out the window at the blue skies. “I was there on my hands and knees staring at the carpet trying to ignore the scene that was happening right across from me. You see, they were progressing, the four of them. The man was sitting in the chair, the girl, um, servicing him as she was bent forward. Jimi was administering smacks to her bare bottom and thighs. The woman, Domme, was engaged with the man in the chair, passionately kissing as he tweaked her naked nipples. It excited me and wounded me simultaneously.”
“So, you had to sit there and watch? Not do anything? How could you stand it that your fiancé was doing that in front of you?” Akiyo seems appalled.
“It didn’t bother me as much as you think to see Jimi with them…It was the fact that I wasn’t needed or used. I felt inadequate at the moment, as though I had failed in my position. So, I remained in my stance trying to ignore the exhibition I was excluded from. I remember looking intently at the floor counting strands of brown carpet as a diversion until the tips of two shiny black shoes obstructed my chore. One leather toe tapped under my chin directing me to raise my head. That’s when I saw him for the first time. He tapped my cheek with the same foot, a clear signal to open my mouth. He then flicked the growing ash from his cigarette into my mouth. I did not flinch and kept my mouth agape until he tapped my cheek again. The ash was cool once it had hit my tongue, but the dirty, smoky taste,” I scrunch my face, “I could have done without.” I chuckle. Akiyo is speechless. “He sat in the chair beside me, pulling the fine chain between my wrists guiding me to crawl closer to the front of the chair. With a finger he tilted my chin to raise my face up, allowing me to look at him. That touch was electric. He was stunning, and in my opinion, far more handsome than Jimi. He had hair as black as ink. His features were chiseled, yet not a smooth beauty. How would I say? He is what I always pictured a man’s man to look like, the epitome of masculinity.” I sigh at the remembrance of him, his touch, chills still raising across my body at the thought of him. “He told me that his name was Rodney, and that he had arranged to have me as his toy for that evening. His voice was smooth, carnal, and had an unusual accent that I couldn’t place. I made a quiet comment about his accent, that I loved it. That’s when he told me that he was from Toronto, a Canadian. I had never heard such a sensual voice before, accent aside.”
Akiyo makes a soft, almost dreamy comment, “Oh, men with accents are so sexy.”
“Yes, they are,” my grin is involuntary. “As he spoke, I watched the end of his cigarette grow orange, gray, and opened my mouth to play his human ashtray. When his smoke was close to the end, he held it between two fingers, tipped it toward me and slanted his head in question. I nodded to which he placed the burning butt to my shoulder, not grinding or extinguishing it completely, just a quick poke
.”
Akiyo cups her mouth to stifle a gasp.
“I won’t lie to you. It hurt, but I restrained my reaction, staring into his forest green eyes and only allowing myself to inhale sharply, audibly. Then again, it was that type of hurt that I so relished.” I absentmindedly rub the ghost spot on my shoulder.
“This seemed to please him greatly. I could see the ever so slight squint of a smile in his eyes, and it gave me goosebumps. Suddenly, everything else in that room disappeared. I was fixated purely on Rodney. He fingered a cube of ice from his glass and placed it on the sting, even though there was nothing really there. The gesture…tender, caring. My stomach twirled, and my heart leapt with sensations of volatile emotion.” I bite my lip, “Jimi was not the affectionate type, although I did not realize how hard-hearted until later. The consideration that Rodney showed that night was not lost on me.
But back to the story, I knew that I would be used hard that night. I was sure that Jimi clued everyone in that pain was not an issue for me. I rather enjoyed it, honestly.
Rodney lit another cigarette. The plume of gray swirling in the air around him. I thought that I would be nothing but a human receptacle for the rest of the evening. So, I once again opened my mouth to him. Instead of flicking his embers into my mouth, Rodney placed two fingers onto my tongue in the middle of my unlocked teeth. Taking that as an invitation, I drew them in, closing my lips around his digits, swirling my tongue around him to exhibit my oral talents, thinking that was what he may want.
He was not interested in that though. Instead, Rodney hooked those fingers into my cheek, lifting upward. I rose up onto my knees. Those hard leather shoes, tapped between my knees coaxing me to spread them wider, and I did. Now, remember he was still seated in that huge chair, and he leaned forward a bit placing the hand that was in my mouth between my legs.
I was unmistakably stimulated already, my arousal clearly visible on his fingers. He continued to leisurely puff on his smoke, continuing the same pace between my legs. I tried to remain aloof, however the slippery friction of his dexterous attentions caused me to sigh. He had me so ready for anything he wanted to do to me. When I my lids shut, I felt the nip of the orange ember right on my breast. I opened my eyes to lock into his emerald spheres, his fingers never ceasing their magic down below.
