by L. Ann Marie
He nods, but holds my eyes. “I cannot do that tonight.” ‘I cannot disrespect her like that,’ he says in my head.
I’m fuckin’ relieved. He put her first and is showing me that. I nod. “We are free until Church Sunday. Come over tomorrow and we’ll go through the list and talk about every fuckin’ thing including the sink.” He laughs. “I swear to God it’s that detailed. So you get this right from the beginning our kids names will never be Eugene and Ida.”
“Fuck I hope not.” Jess cracks up and holds his hand. He laughs with us. I can see this working. Maybe he’ll have the pretty words for her.
“Let’s go have some fun,” I say standing. I set Jess on her feet and kiss her head. She puts her hand out for him. My girl. She was worried about equal and will make sure he feels that. He takes her hand and we walk back to the party.
We’re dancing and Dakota can hold his own. He’s laughing and having a good time until a Brother starts rubbing up against Jess. I’m walking back from the bar screaming in my head for him to deck him. He nods and has the Brother down before Jess turns. He’s dancing as if nothing happened and I’m doubled over laughing.
Prez comes up on the side of me. “I can see this working well Brother. Do you think he knows how fuckin’ funny he is?”
I stand straight. “No. He’s so fuckin’ fast it looked like the Brother just jumped and landed flat on his back. If I wasn’t watching him I would think that’s what happened.” I’m laughing again.
“I’m glad I got to see it. What did you tell him about him being the one with you?”
“Thank fuck he didn’t ask. He said there were a lot of questions that shouldn’t be asked. He knew before I had to say.”
He nods looking at me. “Pres needs you in the yard. It will be a couple of days. I know the timing sucks, but it’s an emergency. Rich was shot. Jeremy will be flying back with you, he’s already on his bike waiting. Jared is at the hangar.”
I start walking to Dakota. “I’m needed at the yard. I need you to keep Jess safe Brother. I’ll be a couple of days.” I pull her to me and kiss her. “Sorry Jessica. Rich was shot and I need to leave right away.”
“Is there anything I can do for you or him?” So sweet.
“Just stay safe. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” She nods signing love and I put her hand in Dakota’s. “Take care of our girl Dakota.”
He surprises the fuck out of me with a hug. “I will my Brother.” They walk with me to my bike.
“Is it alright to ride on his bike Jessie?”
“You don’t wear a cut yet. If it was anyone else I’d fuckin’ kill him. Dakota is ours and you will wear both our names. When he is all in that will happen. For now you ride with either one of us. I’m not playing when I say I’ll kill anyone else.” She nods looking scared. Fuck. “Babe I’ll call you as soon as I can and explain. I have to go. I love you Jessica.” I kiss her lips and turn her to Dakota.
“Be safe Jessie.”
I throw chin and race Jeremy to the hangar. Fuckin’ kid is unreal on a bike.
Chapter Thirteen
Eagle Eye
I slept in Jessie’s spare room thinking about what is to be. I jump and get peace from the ancestors. I have so many questions, but no one to ask. I think of Danny, but his son was shot, this is not the time to take his focus away from where he needs to be. I am free today and so is Jessica. Maybe we can ride to the reservation and I can get a better understanding than what I have. Being with two is not new to me, but long term is. I change to work out and find I like his back deck. I get lost in the movements and let my mind clear of all that is holding me down. I feel her presence and open my eyes.
She is holding in the same position smiling at me. “My dad just taught me this one. Please continue I like this set because it is different.”
I close my eyes and finish. “Good morning Jessica.”
She smiles. “You always call me that. I like it. Good morning.”
I watch her walk back in and I am not sure what to do here. I follow her and get some water. She is a coffee fiend so I start the pot while I am waiting. She comes back with some papers. “Jessie and I have talked about some of this. I’m giving you the list Patches sent so you are prepared. I don’t want you to think you will not be equal in all things. It’s important if you feel that way to tell one or both of us. My mother swears by this and she’s pretty smart.”
I laugh. “That is an understatement if I ever heard one.”
She smiles. “I guess it is.”
“While you are being honest I would like to talk about Jessie being away.” She nods and holds up a finger. When she pulls two cups down I get the cream and pour it in. We sit at the table and she nods. I smile, that is cute. “I find I am excited to have time with you getting used to the idea of us. I want all that having you as a lover entails, but I do not want that to be without Jessie. If we are to learn each other it should be together. I think it is the equal that bothers me about it.”
“I agree. I like that we have the time too, but it’s a lot of pressure to think of sex for the first time when we are new to each other. I’d like the time to get to know you better.” She is very honest and it serves as a comfort for me.
“Would you like to go to the reservation today? I would like some time with my Shaman, if you would like you can ride while I am there.”
Her eyes are shining. “Will you jump?”
“Yes I will, but I have questions and feel the need for his guidance.”
Her face falls. “Are your questions about us?”
“Not exactly. I do not read you and Jessie, for you it has always been just extreme emotion, but I have read Jessie from the start. He said while we are close I do not read him yet I can at work. I do not understand what Jessie seems to know. Also I have questions about not seeing Jessie and you in the future. With gifts come many questions, some cannot be answered as it interferes with what is supposed to be, but others can. I would like to know what I can so we can be who we are to become.”
She giggles and I kiss her. Shit. She is surprised. “Please make that look of wrong go away. I think we should let real emotion and reactions happen normally. That was a real reaction and it makes me happy that you needed the kiss.”
I laugh. She is very special. “I will shower and we can go. Is there anything you would like to do today?”
“Yep. I’d like to spend it with you,” she says walking away.
“That feels good.”
***
Jessie
I am so fuckin’ beat. Rich is doing better, the bullet hit low and damaged his colon and kidney, Jeremy says he’ll be fine. VP had us running all night then two hours in the hospital has me dragging my ass up the stairs and falling into bed. I have five hours, but I need to talk to Jess and Dakota.
I hit Dakota and he answers with a smile that I can hear. “We were getting ready to pull out, I am glad you called right now, I would not have heard the phone.”
“I’m glad I caught you then Brother. How is it going?” I don’t know what to say, but Uncle Danny said I need to touch base.
“I will put you on speaker so Jessica can hear and answer as well.”
This will make it easier. “Thanks Brother. Hi baby angel I missed my kiss this morning.”
“I missed you too. How is Rich?” So sweet.
“He’s doing better. Jeremy says he’ll be fine. Aubrey helped, but she was upset for the kids. Jeremy took her for a ride and it calmed them both.”
“Awww that’s so cute. I’m glad he’s there for them.”
I don’t want to ask, but I want to know. “You were going out?”
“Yes Brother, we are headed to the reservation.”
I sit up. “Are you okay Dakota?”
Jess giggles making me smile. “He had some questions for his Shaman and I’m going riding.” She’s excited.
“Are your questions something I should help answer Dakota?” Fuck as soon as I’m gone he’s go
ing to the Shaman.
“I want to tell you what we talked about this morning, but I will answer first so you can relax Brother. I had questions about reading that I find bothersome. Also with the visions so I do not think you can answer and I am not sure Co will either, but I would like the chance to ask for the guidance that will bring me to peace with it.”
I hold my laugh. “Okay, what did you talk about that I should know?” I wipe my hand down my thigh. This shit is harder than I thought.
“In order to avoid the awkwardness of you not being here with us we have decided that we will spend our time together and get to know each other better letting normal reactions happen as they will. We also feel that sex should wait until you are here so we will learn each other together and equal will never be an issue.” Thank fuck. I breathe.
“Jess this is all okay with you?” Fuck please say yes.
“It is Jessie. It is a lot of pressure that I don’t have to worry about. I’m happy to spend the time with Dakota even excited about it, but we both agree our first time should be all of us. I am glad Dakota told you too. I like that it’s not something that we’re hiding from you and could make you feel hurt or jealous.”
“I fuckin’ love you baby angel. I was nervous, but not jealous. I don’t feel that way with Dakota. I think my nervousness was more about when I get back than anything else. I can see the equal thing coming into play. Thank you babe and Dakota.”
“I love you Jessie. You sound tired.”
“Yeah, I ran all night and just got back from the hospital. I have a couple of hours to sleep then I’m back at work. I’ll call when I can. Have fun on the reservation.” She’s going to love it, there is so much land for her to feel her free.
“Sleep Brother. We have Security to follow us and I will keep Jess safe. You can rest easy.”
“Thanks Brother I will. Love ya Jess.”
“Love you too Jessie.”
I swipe my phone and let it drop on the bed. Why was I nervous and not jealous like I was with Darren? Maybe I knew he wasn’t the one. Whatever the fuck it was I’m not finding answers for it now. My brain is a little too tired to figure it out. I smile. Their first time will be with me. All in together. I close my eyes and fall back with a smile. They’re mine now. Uncle Danny was right. It feels good.
***
Eagle Eye
I hear the horse as I am walking toward the stable. Jess is coming toward me. Is she done already? Co did not have many answers, but the ancestors calmed my worry over what is. It has been less than an hour. I wait for her to be beside me. She is happy and I love to see her smile with her eyes shining.
“Are you finished Jessica?”
“No, but I was hoping you were.”
“I am. Would you like to see where the land meets the water here on the reservation?”
She laughs. “I would love to see the coastline from here I believe we are on high ground and that means bluffs. I always find it interesting with the changing elevations.”
She is a fascinating woman. “I will get my horse.”
“Isn’t this your horse?”
Why would she think it is mine? “It is one of them, but not the one I normally ride.”
“I asked for your horse so you could ride with me and be comfortable on him.”
“Peto would not understand. I have never ridden with anyone and he would not give my horse to you without knowing how well you ride. Come, you will love him.” She walks beside me to the stable.
“Peto I will take Jessica on Prince.” He is shocked and makes a funny face, but nods and takes the reins from her.
“That is a beautiful language will you teach me?”
“I would be honored to teach you the ancient language of my people. Jessie wants to learn too. It serves us well when we need it.” This makes her happy.
When I open the stall she waits to the side of the gate. “He’s beautiful. What is his name?” I look back and see the awe on her face.
“Jessica this is Prince, he is an American Quarter Horse that stands a little over eighteen hands.”
Prince wants to see who has my attention. I let him wander while I get his bit from the peg. She is rubbing his nose and I know he will love her when she pulls a sugar cube from her pocket. His two favorite things within minutes of meeting her will make him a loyal follower for life. I talk to him telling him about her as I get his bit in.
She runs her hand down his neck. “What are you saying?”
“I was telling him about you. English is not normally spoken around him, I use the old language to soothe and calm him. I do not know if he understands English.” She giggles and he rubs his head on her arm liking the sound.
Walking him out she stays to his side, but he will not hurt her. I do not tell her because we have a couple of horses that will kick if they are spooked. I put my hands on her waist and she turns. “No saddle?”
Shit I have never ridden him with a saddle. “I am not sure what he would do if I put a saddle on him. I could get a different horse that takes a saddle.”
She smiles. “No, this is good. It just means you have to hold me. I may get to see you jump yet.”
I laugh. “I will like holding you and I am sure you will see me jump, but that may not be today. The reservation is an ancient land that holds the ancestors spirits. I feel them with me always while I am here.”
“Well shit.” I take my hands away and laugh. She kisses my cheek. “I could still hope.”
Holding her face I kiss her lips. “You can and I will show you how I jump after we ride.” I lift her on and jump up behind her.
“Did you just jump up?”
Shit. “Yes.” She looks down then back at me and smiles, but does not question it further. I relax and talk to Prince thanking him for our ride.
When we get to the open range he gets antsy for some head, I soften my hold and give him the rein to run. I hold Jessica close to me and she moves with us. She has no fear and laughs when Prince moves through the field with his rolling gait. He is a large horse, but graceful in movement. He slows as we get closer to the cliff. I slide off before he stops and reach for her, but she leans forward and thanks him for the ride closing her eyes, she is relaxed and speaking softly to him. It is such a beautiful picture I pull my phone and take it for Jessie. He will like this reminder of her while he is away. When she straightens I take her down. “You ride bareback?”
“I do, but not too often. We don’t have the fields like here. We live on land that was old quarry mines. The once open spaces have satellite dishes, wind turbines and solar panels. My mother is always testing new ideas there so the flat land is now a natural energy research lab.”
I hold her hand liking the feel of it and guide her to the cliff’s edge. “In the summer at high tide we can jump from right over there.” I point to the rock that juts out over the water.
“I would love to cliff dive!” I smile, it is not much of a cliff. She runs up the edge to the rock. I watch her hair being blown by the wind and wonder what the ancestors think of my Jessica. She is so beautiful I am sure they love her for that free spirit and enthusiasm for all things our Mother Earth has to offer.
I walk behind just watching her movements. She lays on the rock with her elbows holding her up looking over the edge. I take another picture of her as she is smiling while looking down at the water. “It’s so beautiful, thank you for showing me. I love it!”
I cannot help, but smile at her. “I see that.” I lie down with her and point out the places I love and tell her the ancient stories behind them.
She turns and puts her head on my back looking up at the sky. I get a jolt, but deflect and calm easily. “I should have asked first. I am sorry I forgot. Is this okay now?”
“Yes, but I would like to turn too. I like the sky from here also.” She lifts her head and I turn. We watch the clouds move without speaking. I am happy to share this time with her and thank the ancestors for guiding me to Jessie and Jessica.
“Do you ever wonder what it would feel like to be a bird floating through the air on different currents?”
I laugh watching the hawk fly over us. “My spirit guide is an Eagle. When I jump, I fly over the reservation feeling the ancestors move all around me, it is a comforting wind that allows me to feel all that came before me.”
She is quiet for a while. “When you jump can you take me with you?”
I think about how to put this before I speak and hurt her where it should not. “When we join and move through emotions with our heart as one I can jump and bring you with me. It is a beautiful moment like no other.”
She sits up and looks at me. “Can you bring Jessie?”
“That would be when our hearts join as one. Since I have learned of you and Jessie’s intent I have only thought of us as one. For me there is no you without him or him without you.”
She watches me and I know something is bothering her. “Ask me anything Jessica.”
“Will sex be only with all of us?”
I sit up and hold her face. “When our hearts join as one we will never again say sex as if it is an act to be performed for simple relief.” She nods. “After the first time I will not be such a stickler for the when, where, and how.” She giggles and I kiss her. She opens to me as soon as our lips meet. Her hand on my chest sends a jolt through me. I take her hand and kiss her lips before I pull away. Desire is in her eyes, but also doubt. “Let us get back and I will feed you on the way home.”
We ride back and I thank Peto for caring for the horses. He is happy and bows to Jessica making me laugh. He shoos us out and we ride home stopping at the restaurant in town. Security is happy with our choice and Jessica laughs when they get their meals to go.
As we are leaving Ramsey comes through the door and Jess squeezes my hand. I look at her and see she is watching him.
