“Yes, cutie. You’re a smart one.’’ He disposed of the ashes at the tip of his cigarette on the disgusting floor. “I’ve killed a kid, my ex-wife, your biological father and I’m going to end my son's life because nobody crosses me. Nobody. But don’t worry. I know you’ve fallen for my son, so I won’t let you suffer too long. In fact, I think I’ll start by killing you first, and I’ll have Wyatt watch when I put a bullet in that pretty head of yours.’’
Bile rose in my throat, and my whimper didn’t help my cause. If anything, it made him laugh harder, the sound composed of the worst that human beings were capable of and so cold it iced me. “It won’t take long now. He’s on his way.’’
That was what I was afraid.
I had doubted Wyatt before. I quickly blamed him and saw him as an asshole who hurt me just for the sake of it, but when it came to it, I had not an ounce of doubt that he would come to get me.
I also didn’t doubt it would cost him his life.
***
WYATT
I was eight-years-old the last time I was in this crappy neighborhood, and I still remembered it like it was just yesterday. The smell of piss, garbage and mold permeated the air, filling my lungs and dirtying me from the inside.
The building where I used to live stood more dilapidated than it had already been and no windows were lit but a couple in the last levels. That made me doubt for a moment because the windows to the old apartment I shared with my biological father were on the fourth floor and none were lit. There was nothing up there to betray someone’s presence, but then my eyes found Tim leaning against the wall near the building's door and my doubts vanished.
I jogged to him and resisted the urge to punch him until he begged me to stop, until I drew blood and satiated my need to crush the people implicated in involving Marissa in this fucking horror show.
But I didn’t touch him. I clenched my vibrating hands into tight fists at my sides and glared at him.
“You don’t look so hot, Wyatt. It’s tough to be on the losing end, isn’t it?’’
“Shut up,’’ I snapped and bit down on my tongue when curses threatened to leave my mouth. “Where is she?’’
Tim's chapped lips turned down, and his frown deepened. That wasn’t the expression I expected to find on the guy who hated my guts more than anything.
“Is she… She isn’t…’’ I asked, my voice choked as dread took a life of its own and fogged up the world around me.
“Not yet, but daddy dearest isn’t messing around.’’
I blew out some air and nodded. “Aren’t you happy to be on my father’s power trip?’’
Tim rubbed his sweaty forehead, and I noticed the trembling in his hands that had nothing to do with my own. His came from the need for another fix. “This is pushing it. Fucking with you and giving you hell is one thing, grabbing a girl and threatening to kill her? That’s something else. I’m not too far gone with drugs to be okay with it.’’
“Why getting me here then? Why not calling the cops, huh?’’
He shrugged and held up three vials of white powder. I didn’t have to ask what it was. “And I have more at my place along with other stuff. Come on, I’m not a saint, but I’m not hanging around much longer.’’
With that, he shook his head and left, ambling, eyes on the ground and shoulders slouched.
Air flew through my lungs again, but it wasn’t without fear for Marissa. I had always been afraid for myself, but at that very moment I wasn’t terrified for myself, I wasn’t even terrified of facing off with my biological father. What had me sweating buckets and my heart galloping was the fear for the woman who had given me everything in spite of what I showed her and how I had behaved.
I wasn’t just afraid of losing her to the hand of the monster I shared blood with. I was terrified of what could happen to her, of her life ending and what it meant for her family, my family, for the fucking world that would lose one of its lights, a light that shone in the most impenetrable darkness.
I jogged inside the old building, and the mold smell greeted me just like in my memories. It didn’t faze me, though. My past nightmares didn’t assault me because I was in the here and now, my mind entirely focused on Marissa and her well-being. I didn’t care what could happen to me because I wouldn’t be able to escape that obscurity if something happened to the woman who gave me so much of herself when I gave so little.
On the fourth floor, I stopped, and my eyes immediately landed on the first door. It had been painted in a dark green instead of the burgundy it had been when I was there. But it was still as dilapidated at the rest of the building with the paint chipped away and the few curses written by stupid kids.
I didn’t wait and immediately twisted the doorknob. The door opened, the wooden panel crashed against the wall, and the view that hit me had me seeing red.
Marissa’s face, pale and stricken by tears turned to me. Her violet-blue eyes shone with more tears that fell in a river to get lost in the gag that kept her perfect lips parted and stretched to white. I couldn’t see her hands because they were in her back, without a doubt cuffed there. And then, my eyes fell on the dirty mattress she was sitting on, a reminder of what I had to sleep on as a small child.
Bile rose in my throat.
“What are you doing?’’ I snapped at the man I was disgusted to call my Dad.
His smirk didn’t waver, nor did the evil glint in his eyes. He put his flask on the table and extinguished his cigarette on the top of the table. But what caught my attention then was the metal glint on his thigh. His hand closed tightly, and he held up the gun, aiming it at my chest.
Marissa’s distressed sound made me stare back at her.
“Don’t worry, Marissa. Close your eyes, sweet thing.’’
She shook her head. I had no idea how long I had left to live. Maybe fifty years, perhaps fifteen minutes, but for however long I had left to breathe, her wide eyes and pale skin as tears drenched her smooth flesh would haunt me.
“How touching,’’ my father mocked in a cavernous voice, coughing on a laugh.
“Let her go. Your issues have nothing to do with her.’’
He rolled his eyes and relaxed his stance on the chair, but not once did he lower his gun or look away from me. His beady eyes fixed me unnervingly, showing me without saying a word the kind of hatred he felt for me.
“Doesn’t mean I’m going to let her go. Come on, you know it.’’ He pointed at the other empty chair. “Now sit and let’s have a little chat.’’
“Not until you let her go.’’ I clenched my hands harder until my nails scratched my palms to stop myself from walking to Marissa and untying her. Even through the panic gaining on me, I knew it would end badly. Protecting her was important, and for that, I needed to play it smart and fight against all of my instincts born from fears, fears instilled in me by that monster.
“Don’t test me, boy. Sit.’’
His bushy eyebrow hiked up on his wrinkled forehead, and I complied. That was one of the signs I knew to look out for before things turned uglier. My stomach tied itself into more knots.
He glanced at Marissa, and his mean look stopped her fidgeting. She pressed her back harder into the wall behind her. I had never seen that kind of fear on someone else’s face but mine. Never, not even while my apartment was turned into Drugsville and one man was beaten to a pulp.
“Don’t fucking look at her!’’
“And what are you going to do, son? Call the cops on me?’’ His eyes found mine again. His wrinkles deepened as his scowl cast a somber look on his drawn face. “You already did that.’’
“What did you expect me to do? You fucking ruined my life. I owe you nothing.’’
“Careful of what you say,’’ he retorted, and I watched with a dried mouth as the gun went from my chest to Marissa’s direction.
My heart stopped in my chest and with the way it hurt in there, and how my lungs seized, at any other moment I would swear I was having a heart
attack, but here I knew what it was.
Panic.
Sheer panic that blinded you and made your whole world tilt and disappear at once.
I jumped to my feet and grabbed his wrist. I forced the gun away from Marissa and back to me. In the struggle, I walked around the table and stopped only when the gun was pressed against my chest, right where my heart beat frantically. My father’s grunt when he couldn’t overpower me like he used to strangely eased some of my nerves but Marissa’s whimpers behind me tore at me. “Close your eyes, sweet thing. Don’t worry.’’
“She should worry, son.’’ He spat out. “I just need one bullet.’’
“Then do it. Do it.’’ I locked eyes with his and maybe for the first time, probably too late, I let go of that childlike need for love from him, that monster. I let go of him, of my past of my ties to these nightmares. It took him to kidnap my girl, tie her up and point a gun at her to do it.
Marissa’s sobs pierced my ears, tugged at my heart and made me wish to do everything differently, made me wish I had been stronger and pushed away my father when he came knocking at my door.
What ifs derailed me and I hesitated a fraction of a second, but it was enough for him to tug his wrist free and hit my head with his gun. I stumbled back and crashed on the dirty floor near Marissa.
Black spots took over my sight, but it came back soon enough when Marissa’s painful cry muffled by her gag reached my ears.
“Don’t fucking come closer, son,’’ my father warned me, a hand in Marissa’s hair and the gun against her temple. He was kneeling next to her on the mattress, just a few feet from my sprawled body on the ground.
I ignored the blood that trailed down the side of my face from the gash at my hairline. I pushed away the throbbing pain in my head or the way the room seemed to dance in front of my face. None of those things were of importance when Marissa was in this monster’s hands with a gun to her head.
It would only take one bullet, one small piece of metal, to snatch her away and for me to lose everything that she was. It would only take one shot to kill the world I was ready to discover with new eyes.
Marissa’s eyes didn’t have tears in them anymore, and that gutted me more. What I saw in those jewels iced me to my core.
Acceptance.
There shouldn’t be acceptance in her eyes, not when she was twenty and had her life ahead of her, not when she had a gun aimed at her beautiful head.
“Why are you doing this? I’m here. I’m right fucking here,’’ I said hoarsely, my voice breaking. My fingers dug into the floor and the grit. I wanted to leap to my feet and attack him, but I would be too slow. I didn’t have fucking superhuman strength and speed.
“Did you think I’d slink away quietly when you snitched to the cops? I work with powerful and ruthless men, boy. What do you believe is going to happen when I get to them, and the drugs are gone along with several of our dealers and delivery guys?’’
“You knew something like that could happen at any moment.’’
“It’s different when my blood betrays me.’’ He tugged on Marissa’s head and tilted it upward. “I see what you like about her. She’s a pretty one. Too bad a bullet in that head will ruin it.’’
“Don’t, please don’t,’’ I begged, my eyes in the woman’s I loved, the woman who tore open my heart and forced me to open up to her even when my walls didn’t want to crumble. “I’ll do whatever you want, but you let her go.’’
“Still as stupid as you’ve always been,’’ he spluttered harshly and pressed the gun harder against her head. “I want to make you suffer. Nobody crosses me. NOBODY!’’ he yelled.
It became crystal clear then, why Marissa had that acceptance in her eyes and the regrets too. It had been his plan all along.
Kill the woman I loved to make me suffer. What a worthless vengeance.
“I want you to look in her eyes when I put a bullet in her head. I want you to feel the kind of pain that will break you.’’ His eyes turned more violent. “Then, once her blood seeps in the floor and she’s as cold as marble, I will put a bullet in you, but not before you beg me to.’’
I stared at him then, words failing me, emotions swirling inside me. For years I had thought this monster had passed on his ugliness to me. I had believed for so long that I hurt people just like he did, that I was no good and didn’t deserve goodness in my life because I ruined everything, but I had been wrong.
It hit me then, another blow, but this time to my heart.
I had flaws, issues, and hangups, I wasn’t a good guy like I should be, and I had a lot to learn to be seen as a stand-up guy, but I would never and never had been close to the kind of monster my biological father was.
I could never take someone’s life.
I could never torture someone, even less family.
I could never take pleasure in toying with someone.
The only things I inherited from this man were physical traits.
My eyes landed on Marissa again, and the fear was back in her eyes, and I knew without a doubt that it was for me. I had fought against the link, that damn link that seemed to tie me to her, but it was there. It was there and made my love for her that much stronger, so much that at that moment, when I could lose her with that kind of finality, I’d do anything to strengthen that link, to let that love grow and prove to her that she had been right to come back to me again and again. She had been right.
It couldn’t end before it truly started.
It couldn’t end before our love turned from a mess to that beautiful thing that could last a lifetime.
It couldn’t end before I proved her that my love for her wasn’t a fickle thing.
She saw the change in my eyes, knew before me what I would do, and it was further proof that we were so entwined our souls knew each other to perfection.
I didn’t think twice, didn’t plan or ponder the best tactic. I jumped to my feet and tackled my father with all my strength. We tumbled to the floor, rolled as I tried to get the gun out of his hand, but his grip was too tight.
“Fuck!’’ I cursed with a yell and punched him in the nose.
His groan didn’t soften my anger, nor was the blood that coated my forearms and our clothes. I punched him again and again, my eyes taking in his lip that split, the bruise that darkened his cheekbone, the gash in his eyebrow.
He moved and went to point his gun at me again, but I was faster. I twisted his hand and snatched the gun and pointed it at his head. Under me, he stopped moving and held up both hands.
I shook so much I didn’t think I’d be able to get to my feet. The gun trembled, my aim was so faulty if I had to take a shot and I wasn’t on top of him I’d probably miss.
I glanced over my shoulder to check on Marissa, and I found her on her feet, eyes glued to me.
“You okay?’’ I asked, panting. At her nod, I took a deep breath in what felt like forever. “I have my phone in my pants. You need to get it to call my dad.’’
She turned around and showed me her hands tied so tightly I saw welts around her wrists. That sight made me tighten my grip on my father’s throat and press the gun harder against his sweaty forehead.
“Son—‘’
“Shut the fuck up if you know what’s good for you. You’d have put a bullet in my girl’s head and mine. If I were a monster like you, I’d do the same, but I’m not. I’m a Burton, and Burtons are good people.’’
His sneer and curses didn’t faze me. I looked back at Marissa. “I can’t let him go. He’ll charge us.’’
“I’ll fucking kill you like I killed your whore of a mother.’’
My muscles seized then, and my face snapped to his. The blood on his mug showed me the monster that laid under the wrinkles, gaunt face and perpetual smirk that complemented the bad vibe in his eyes.
“What did you say?’’ I shook my head when he opened his mouth to spew more filth. “Never mind. I’ll learn everything soon enough once your ass is in jail.’’
She walked to me, and in the corner of my eyes, I saw her shaking her head no. “Trust me, sweet thing. Once again, trust me. I’ll be okay, and I won’t screw up my life any more than I already have because of him.’’
On a sob, she ran out, and I relaxed a little more. She would be safe. She was saved.
“I’ll always be in your veins, Wyatt,’’ he snapped in a strangled voice as my grip around his throat didn’t permit a lot of air to pass. I didn’t ease up my grip. “My blood runs through your veins, and you can’t escape it.’’
“I’ve lost many nights of sleep because of you. I’ve pushed people away because of you. I’ve been afraid to be abandoned for years because of you. Not anymore. Blood isn’t more important. You’re worth nothing because you’re nothing to me.’’
He went to talk again, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I knocked him out with the gun and welcomed the silence punctuated by my heavy breathing and his slow and even one.
A good man would have tuned him out and waited for the cops. I still had work to do on myself to be a good guy, but in the meantime, I didn’t think I was so bad.
MARISSA
I was trembling against Wyatt as we waited in one of the interrogation rooms at the police station. We had been talking, repeating and rehashing everything to some of Danny’s colleagues as they noted and recorded everything.
I wasn’t ashamed to be in shock because that was what was happening. As soon as they had let Wyatt in the interrogation room they kept me in, I sobbed and face planted against Wyatt’s chest. When his big and warm arms closed around me, I let go completely. We’ve been like this for minutes now, and finally, I started to calm down, but I didn’t stop shaking.
“I’m so fucking sorry, sweet thing. So sorry,’’ he repeated and tightened his arms around me as if he wanted to protect me from the whole world at once.
Messy Love Page 29
