“He sounds like Beth the Bitch,” I chimed in. “She wouldn’t ever let me do something new. It all had to be her thoughts.”
“It’s stifling, isn’t it?” Lexi asked. I nodded. “People only last so long in an environment like that. Before long we’ll be losing all the good employees at the facility because of one shitty manager. If I have a say, it won’t happen. Speaking of which… how’s the new job going?”
“It’s good,” I said honestly. “I’m really liking working for Drew and Xander. They’re easy to get along with and they want me to come up with ideas to help out instead of just telling me to do it the way they set it up.”
“That’s good to hear,” Mandy chimed in as she sat down. “Xander will be happy to know you’re enjoying yourself.”
“Yeah, I really am. Xander’s been out a lot, but Drew seems to be around more. We’re getting to know each other.”
“Getting to know each other?” Sam asked in a suggestive way. “Like in a good way or just getting to know each other.”
Thankfully I’d perfected a poker face years ago. I did not want to tell everyone about what happened with Drew at the launch party, and I definitely didn’t want them knowing I had a crush on him. If I admitted that, I had no doubt that Mandy would tell Xander and then he would either tease me relentlessly or tell Drew. Maybe both.
Nope, my feelings for my boss were under lock and key, both in my heart and in my mouth.
I rolled my eyes dramatically as though Sam was being absolutely ridiculous and said, “Not in the way you’re thinking, obviously. We work well together, but there’s nothing going on. He’s my boss!”
Lexi shrugged. “I married my boss. Best decision ever.
Claire jumped in, “And I married my coworker. There’s nothing to say you can’t fall in love at work.”
“I met Xander through work,” Mandy said.
“That’s how Joey and I met too,” Addi commented.
“Brady was working when we met,” Sam concluded. “Almost every one of us met our husbands through work one way or another. Why couldn’t you do the same?”
“Okay, first of all, I couldn’t date my boss. It’s way bad. Second, nothing is going on between us.”
Sam narrowed her eyes at me. “But you want there to be, don’t you?”
“No!” I declared a bit too emphatically. “Drew is a nice guy, but I’m not going to date my boss.”
“And if he wasn’t your boss?” Riley asked pointedly.
“Irrelevant. He’s my boss and that’s what matters. I like my job too much to change that.”
“It’s probably for the best,” Mandy said, leveling me with a look. “He’s pretty screwed up right now.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked. Nothing I’d seen in the time I’d known Drew gave me any indication there was something going on. Maybe the company was taking more out of him than I’d realized.
“He just got out of a bad relationship. His ex was a complete psycho. She told Xander he was too hot to be with a fat cow like me. She’s a stuck up bitch who thinks she’s better than anyone else. Xander thinks she cheated on Drew, but never had any proof. Drew was completely in love with her and was crushed when they broke up. I don’t think he’s ready for a relationship and I know you’re not a casual fling sort of woman.”
I nodded and plastered a fake smile on my face. “See, all the more reason to stay away from him. Boss or no boss, I don’t need that drama in my life.”
Everyone agreed and went on to talk about other things. I couldn’t help but replay Mandy’s words over and over again. Drew never mentioned anything about his ex, but he had no reason to tell me about her. In the week we’d been working together we’d talked about a lot of things, but exes never came up. Why would it? We had a working relationship and that was it.
He didn’t owe me an explanation. He didn’t owe me anything.
Still, the thought of Drew keeping something like that from me hurt.
No, that wasn’t fair. He had every right. He was obviously still hurting. He didn’t want to let her go and it was obvious he hadn’t yet. He was still grieving the loss of his relationship. Even if the woman was a bitch, it didn’t mean he wasn’t allowed to love her. He could love whoever he wanted.
I just knew it wouldn’t ever be me.
The next morning I went into work like nothing had changed, although for me, everything had. I finally admitted to myself sometime during the night that I’d been hoping whatever had happened between Drew and me could happen again. Fantasizing about my boss hadn’t been the plan, but it was certainly the reality.
And I had to face the fact that the dreams I had about him were as close as I’d get to ever touching him again.
Losing something that was never mine was a strange thing. I knew I would feel differently when I saw him and for some reason I convinced myself he would be different. That he would seem sad once I knew the truth.
Instead, when he walked through the door, he was exactly the same.
“Good morning, Carrie. Is the coffee ready?” he asked, the same as the day before.
“Yes. Although Xander’s here so there might not be much left,” I teased, knowing Xander could hear me.
“Hey!” he shouted from his office. “I resemble that remark.”
Drew laughed then winked at me. How many times had I misunderstood that simple wink as something more? God, I was a fool. Lusting over my boss with no idea he was heartbroken over someone else.
The morning passed quickly. Xander and Drew were both holed up in their offices working on a presentation they had that afternoon. Around ten they went into the larger of the two conference rooms and set everything up so they could run through it all together. Drew asked me to join them.
“We want you to tell us what you think. This client is a single woman who is redoing her mother’s old house. She grew up there and her mother passed away a year ago. She’s finally gotten around to updating things, but she wants to keep the spirit of her mother, her words, but make things a bit more her style,” Drew explained when I sat down at the ten person oval table.
“We’re also getting a little concerned. We don’t want you worrying or anything, but we’ve been passed over on a few projects we thought were almost a done deal. Something is missing, but we don’t know what. We need fresh eyes to help figure it out. Are you up for that?”
I nodded. “Sure. Um, are you sure everything is okay?” I was more than a little concerned. I’d just jumped ship, granted I hated the job, but it was relatively secure. I didn’t know what I’d do if XD failed.
“Yeah, we’re okay. We need to land these accounts that we’re up for, but it’ll be fine.”
I wasn’t entirely sure I believed Xander, but I couldn’t focus on that. I needed to focus on the presentation.
A screen hung down one wall and a projector overhead showed the overall plans Drew and Xander had put together. I listened closely as they went through their ideas and explained everything they were going to do to make the house exactly what the woman had asked for.
When they finished I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t sure how much input they really wanted, or if they were just being nice asking me to sit in. It’d only been three days since I started working for them and challenging them too much could easily seal my dismissal papers. They’d asked for my opinion, but I didn’t know if they really wanted it.
“What did you think, Carrie?” Xander asked, turning his entire focus on me.
I looked into Xander’s kind hazel eyes and considered my options. I could tell the truth, risk getting fired, and potentially help them deliver a kick ass presentation, or I could lie my ass off, risk them losing the client, and keep my job. At least until the company went under.
“You didn’t like it, did you?” Drew answered for me. “And you’re afraid to tell us the truth because you think we’ll fire you.”
It was scary how accurate he was, like he could read my mind. Drew’s ga
ze held mine and challenged me to refute what he said. He knew it was the truth as much as he knew anything else about me. In just a few days we’d learned enough about each other for him to know what it meant when I hesitated and for me to know what it meant when he stared me down with his hands on his hips.
Like he was doing at that moment.
He was frustrated. Disappointed in a way. But mostly, he was hurt. All because I didn’t trust what he’d been telling me since my first day.
“Is that true, Carrie?” Xander asked sounding confused. “You think we’d fire you for sharing your opinion? You might not be an owner in this company, but we value your insight. If we didn’t want to know what you thought, I promise you we wouldn’t have asked.”
I took a deep breath and glared at Drew before meeting Xander’s eyes. “It’s a big difference for me. Beth never wanted an opinion, even when she asked for one. She wanted someone to regurgitate her ideas. The first, and only, time I offered an opinion she said if I ever challenged her again I’d regret it forever. I never did it again. People say things they don’t mean all the time.”
“Carrie, we want to know. If we lose this client because our presentation sucks, or our designs, and you could have helped us, I’ll be more frustrated than if you share your honest thoughts. Please, tell the truth. We promise it won’t reflect poorly on you,” Xander pleaded.
I wrestled internally for a few seconds but knew I couldn’t get out of it. I either had to trust Xander and Drew or I had to leave. If I couldn’t trust what they said, time and time again, then why was I there?
“Okay fine, I’ll be honest, but if I get fired I’m telling Mandy,” I declared.
Drew laughed and Xander shook his head. The both knew Mandy would make their lives a living hell, but their reaction proved to me that they were telling the truth. If they’d been scared I would have had something to worry about.
“The presentation is a bit dry for me. I mean, this is her family home, the place she grew up, right?”
Xander nodded and leaned forward. Drew lowered himself into a seat across the table from me.
“You need to get to the emotional side for her. It’s not just a house, it’s her home, her mom, her history. She has memories from her childhood here, and probably memories of her mom being sick and maybe even dying in the house. Your presentation needs to hit on that.”
“We’re guys, we don’t do emotional,” Drew argued.
I cocked an eyebrow at Xander and he shook his head. He knew I’d seen him emotional over something with Mandy more than once. “Emotional doesn’t have to mean weepy, Drew,” I lectured. “Emotional means tapping into something more than technical specifications. For men, maybe that’s the way to go, but this is a woman. A woman you said is just now, after a year, ready to do something with the house. This woman is going to be emotional and you need to show her you can handle it. She needs to think you will respect the house as much as improve it.”
“How the hell do we do that?” Drew asked.
“To start with, you already have a great design. Now you need to get into the woman herself, and make the presentation show exactly what she needs to see. It’s not just about making things look better and function better. It’s about keeping her mother alive in the house while making it the woman’s house.”
Drew and Xander nodded in agreement. I could see the wheels turning in their heads and within seconds they were spouting off ideas and changing the presentation to show the client exactly how much they were going to honor her mother, and her mother’s house, with their work.
We were working so hard that we completely lost track of time. Two hours later the presentation was looking great. Xander and Drew had really gotten into how the woman would use the house and how they could improve it without changing too much. Really, it was an update, not a complete gut job, so keeping the integrity of the house in tact wasn’t that tough.
Xander looked at the clock. “Oh, shit. I’m supposed to meet Mandy for lunch. I’m late. Are we good?”
“Yeah, man, go. Tell her we said hi,” Drew said as he shooed Xander out of the conference room.
Drew came over to my side of the table and leaned against the edge of the wood surface. “Thank you. That was a huge help today. Going by what you said, we never would have landed the client, but you were dead on. In all the conversations we had with her she expressed her concern over changing too much. We honored that, but weren’t showing it the right way. We have you to thank.”
I got to my feet and was nearly eye level with him thanks to my heels and him half sitting. Specks of gold floated in the brown depths and my breath kicked up. His eyes held mine then flicked down to my lips. Unconsciously my tongue glided over my lips and his eyes widened as he sucked in a breath. He looked back into my eyes and I could see how badly he wanted me.
The tension between us was so thick I didn’t think I’d be able to move, but I did. My feet carried me closer to him, unintentionally. I took a step, still far enough away that he couldn’t touch me with his arms extended, but getting closer. Another step and another and his hand reached out for mine.
Then someone cleared their throat.
I jumped back, shocked and ashamed. I don’t know what I would have done if I’d made it all the way into his arms, but I had a few ideas.
Instead I turned to the door and saw his mother standing there glaring at me. Her dark eyes narrowed at me, pinching her brows together. Her bun pulled her hair tight, making her look even more like a mean old school librarian than her loose fitting paisley dress that fell to her ankles. Her canvas shoes explained how she was able to sneak up on us, and nearly catch… something.
“Mom!” Drew exclaimed, leaping up from the table. “What a great surprise. What are you doing here?”
“A mother can’t come see her son?”
“Of course you can, Mom. You usually call first though.”
She pursed her lips together and sent me another frozen stare. “I did call, but no one answered the phone. Either your mobile phone or the office phone. I started to worry that your new secretary was taking advantage of you and skipping out on her duties when you and Xander were out of the office.”
Drew shook his head and laughed like it was a joke. “Carrie was in a meeting with us. Xander and I put our phones on silent and we must not have heard the office phone. Since you’re here, why don’t I take you to lunch?”
“That would be nice. Thank you.”
“Carrie, do you want to join us?” Drew asked, turning away from his mother.
I risked a glance at the ice queen. She was staring at me like I was the lowest of the low, beneath her just with my existence. If I had it my way I’d never be in the same room as that woman, and sharing lunch with her was right up there with having someone pry my fingernails off one by one with a pair of pliers.
Which was further evidence that Drew and I did not need to be anything other than boss and employee.
“Thanks, but I’m good. I’ve got lunch here,” I said easily, not willing to give up anything other than my desire to eat lunch at work. “Besides, I should probably check the messages and see what else I missed during our meeting,” I couldn’t resist adding.
Drew started to say something but his mother cut him off. “Yes, well, you wouldn’t want to be letting work go.” I swore she muttered, “The way you let yourself go.”
“Mother,” Drew warned, shooting a stern look in her direction.
She brushed off his words and said, “Come on, Andrew, let’s go to lunch.”
Drew shot me a look of apology and followed his mother out the door. Shaking my head, and wondering what her problem was, I grabbed my lunch from the fridge and retreated to my desk, where I could pick up the slack I’d apparently let go.
Six
By the time Xander and Drew got back from their lunch I had all the messages returned and had booked appointments for two new projects. While they went over the presentation one more time, I greete
d the client who was redoing her mother’s house.
“I’m Carrie. It’s nice to meet you,” I said as I shook her hand.
“Thank you Carrie. I’m Evelyn. I have an appointment.”
“Oh, yes, I know. I was going over the presentation with the guys this morning. I think you’re really going to love it.”
“Really?” Evelyn asked wearily. “I’m not so sure about them.”
“Drew and Xander?”
“Yeah. I mean, they do great work, there’s no doubt about that, but all their pictures online are of projects where they completely ripped out what was there and updated it. I’m not sure they’ll be able to do what I want.”
“Can I ask you a question?” Evelyn nodded. “Why did you call them? It helps to know where a person is coming from.”
Evelyn looked at me. Her brown hair was starting to show a bit of gray, even though I estimated her to be around 35. Her hazel eyes were soft but sad. Her clothes shouted of someone who was well off, but she wasn’t obnoxious about it. It was clear to me Evelyn was still grieving for her mother and I knew without a doubt the meeting was going to be a tough one for her.
“A friend recommended them. Honestly I set up the appointment before I saw their work online.”
“What did your friend have done?”
“They tore her whole kitchen out and replaced it. She bought this old house that was beautiful, but the kitchen was small and worn out. Margie wanted something completely different, but loved the rest of the house.”
“Did you like what they did? Did it fit with the house?”
Evelyn nodded, starting to see where I was going with my questions. “It was beautiful,” she agreed.
“Then all I ask is you keep an open mind. They heard you when you said you didn’t want a huge change, just a few updates. These guys are all about making the client happy. If all you wanted to do was add a dishwasher, they would show you where to put it. I’ve seen what they have in mind for you. I honestly think you’re going to love it. Plus, they love restoring older homes. If you don’t want to gut your house, it won’t happen.”
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