by Rick Cook
"It would be better if we sent something in ahead of us." He brightened. "And I’ve got just the thing."
A quick call for an Emac, a muttered spell and suddenly there was a fuzzy pink mechanical rabbit standing before them. The rabbit was wearing dark glasses and carrying a bass drum. But he also had a boonie rag tied around his head and an awesomely wicked looking weapon slung across his back The rabbit did a quick half turn to orient himself and marched into the dark room, beating the drum. Four beats later, the drum was drowned out by the roars, growls, snarls and liquid sucking sounds coming from the room. Then the corridor echoed and rang with gunfire and explosions until the watchers clapped their hands over their ears to save their hearing.
Then there was silence. After a few seconds the pink mechanical rabbit appeared out of the smoke. He blew the smoke from the barrel of his weapon, slung it back on his back, adjusted his drum and marched off down the corridor, beating his drum.
A quick peek around the corner showed there was nothing left alive in the room, although there were enough miscellaneous body parts to stock a good-sized zoo-or a terrific nightmare.
"Jeez," said Taj, as he stepped over something that might have been a tentacle and avoided a taloned foot that was still twitching, "what do you suppose this thing was?"
Jerry looked around. "As a friend of mine likes to say, never ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to. Now come on. Let’s see if we can find the others."
Well you wanted to the a fucking hero, Charlie thought. Somehow his definition of a hero’s death had never included being eaten alive by sharks. He could just give up, exhale and sink beneath the water, but natural orneriness in him kept him from taking the easy way out.
Damn! Why couldn’t he have gone down with his plane? At least I won’t end up a zombie.
The fins drew nearer and Charlie braced himself for what must come. Closer and closer they scythed until he could see the wet sheen on the black flesh of the fins and the smooth ripple of water before them. Barely two yards from him the nearest fin disappeared beneath the waves and Charlie gasped in anticipation. Something broke water in front of him. After a second he opened his eyes to find himself facing a very unsharklike snout with the mouth pulled back in a toothy grin.
"Hello," the dolphin squeaked. Behind the first one, two other dolphins had their heads out of the water.
Charlie goggled. It’s a damn good thing I’m already wet, was his mad first thought. Then he laughed in pure relief.
"Go home?" squeaked the dolphin. "Go home now?"
Charlie doubled over laughing and got a nose full of water. He choked and sputtered and the dolphins moved in to support him under the arms.
"Goddamn. You guys are Air-Sea Rescue, right?"
"Go home," the dolphin repeated.
"Okay, son, just lead the way."
Supported and pushed along by the dolphins, Charlie headed north, toward the lands of man.
"Hey, do any of you boys know:" He started to sing. "Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition :"
None of the dolphins did of course, but they were apt pupils and not in the least put off by Charlie’s cracked baritone. By the end of the first mile they had joined in with their mosquito-buzz voices.
": praise the Lord and pass the ammunition, And we’ll allll stayyy freeee." The Executioner’s rock ledges were narrow and slippery and the zombies were clumsy. The second dragon misjudged the landing and was swept into the boiling sea before it could correct. Karin saw a dead man’s head and a dead dragon’s wingtip break the surface before being sucked under the foam. The other undead did not seem to notice.
They couldn’t stay here. The rock was so small it would be the work of moments for the zombies to sniff out their cave. Once that happened they could be cooked by dragon fire in their lair. But there was no way to get airborne without being incinerated either.
"Do you have any magic for this?" Karin whispered. Senta shook her head. Karin nodded and pulled her sword from its scabbard on Stigi’s saddle. Senta did likewise.
Karin reached up and took Stigi’s bridle. As quietly as she could, she turned the dragon around until he was facing out of the crevasse toward the zombies. Senta brought her dragon around. By jockeying and shifting the riders were able to get the dragons squeezed in side by side almost lying on each other but facing out the same way.
"Stigi," Karin whispered as the first zombies came into view, "fire." Stigi needed no encouragement. A gout of flame swept down the ravine, incinerating the first of the undead dragon riders. As Stigi reached the end of his breath, Senta’s dragon released his flame, causing Karin to avert her head and Stigi to bridle under the heat.
Twice more the dragons breathed fire turn and turn about and twice more zombies charred, burned and fell backwards into the foaming sea.
But it was a temporary victory and both of them knew it. As soon as the zombies got dragons aloft they would be incinerated in turn by dragon fire from the skies. Indeed, as Karin watched, one of the zombie dragons launched off the rock and flew low out over the ocean, wings beating to gain altitude.
A tentacle lashed out of the water and swept dragon and rider into the sea. Another tentacle swept the cliff knocking another dragon and two more zombies into the water. Then another tentacle and another and another lashed onto the shore, seizing dragon and rider alike and sweeping them beneath the foam.
"Kraken!" Karin hissed. "Keep still!"
As the living dragons and their riders pressed back into the crevasse a forest of tentacles lashed from the sea and swept over the island, tapping, probing, searching for prey. The zombies did not scream as they were picked off the rock and dragged beneath the water. Their dragons did not roar. But one by one they were all taken as food for the monster of the reef.
Still the tentacles swept on, feeling for more. Several of them explored the crack where Karin and Senta hid and one of them came so far in that it actually touched Karin.
It took all her will to keep from flinching when the tip of a slimy tentacle brushed across her boot. She squeezed her eyes shut and bit her lip until she tasted blood to keep from whimpering aloud at the creature’s foul touch. In the part of her mind that could still function all she could think of was Mick. The tentacle passed on and withdrew down the crevasse. There were a few more tentative stirrings and then everything was still, save for the waves and the sea.
At last Karin dared to breathe again and she and Senta looked at each other across their dragons’ backs.
"Fortuna," Senta breathed, "Let us be gone from here before something else happens."
Karin could only nod.
In spite of the glow lamp the tunnel ahead was dark, as if something was dimming the light. Taj started forward, but Jerry held him back. "Wait a minute. I don’t like the looks of this."
"Bunny time?"
Jerry nodded and spoke the spell. First the Emac appeared and then the pink fuzzy mechanical rabbit, drum at the ready and gun slung across its back, obscuring its battery. The decoy spun mechanically and then marched down the corridor beating its drum. It had barely crossed the threshold when it disappeared in a blinding blue-green flash. Before the watchers recovered two more energy bolts smashed into the rocks over their head triggering an avalanche.
Jerry gestured frantically and the rocks seemed to bounce off an invisible shield to pile up and block the tunnel before them. Even after the rocks stopped falling the dust stayed impenetrably thick in the air, converting the humans to shadowy outlines.
The big programmer coughed and spat out a mouthful of dirt.
"Didn’t work," he said unnecessarily.
"These things learn fast," Taj said. "That’s probably built into their programs because it’s a survival characteristic. I don’t think we’d better use the same spell twice."
Jerry was still coughing and spitting, so he just nodded. "I think we’d better find another way through here," he said when he got his breath back.
"Something in
the tunnel up ahead," Shamus whispered. "Magic?"
Malus paused for an instant and then shook his head. A quick gesture from their commander sent the guardsmen shuffling into a new formation, shields to the front and spears and halberds behind. Malus stepped into the second rank, squeezed between two tall pikemen, and flipped back the sleeves of his robe to leave his arms bare for action.
One instant the tunnel before them was dark and empty and the next it was filled with nightmare creatures backlit by a weird blue glow. Instinctively the humans started and pulled tighter together at the sight of the insect-like horrors bearing down upon them.
A swipe of a halberd and an ant-thing was standing headless, arms and legs waving blindly. A man in the front rank screamed and fell as a stream of acid washed over him, leaving smoking holes in his clothing and skin.
Malus and the other wizards began throwing lightning bolts, death spells and everything else they could think of. The ant-things died in droves before the magic, and more died beneath the guardsmen’s steel.
Step by step the humans were forced back by the oncoming waves of insectoid monsters. They left a trail of insect corpses behind them, but the pressure of the close-packed creatures was simply too great to withstand.
Thundering down the side tunnel came a column of dwarves, mailed, helmed and battle axes at the ready.
The dwarves hit the insect warriors about halfway down their column with an impact that shoved the bugs back against the wall. Streams of acid spattered off the dwarves. But dwarves are tough enough to handle molten metal and the steel of dwarfish armor is at least the quality of high-tech stainless. Save for an occasional lucky shot, the dwarves ignored the liquid.
They could not ignore the scything jaws and crushing pincers of their insectoid foes, but they did not succumb to them easily either. Steel and leather protected the dwarves and a dwarf which could be reached with a pincer meant an insect which could be reached by an axe. Work-hardened muscles drove axes through the insects’ chitinous exoskeletons and into the soft flesh beyond. The dwarves hewed legs, lopped pincers and chopped off heads with grim abandon, all the while forcing further into the main tunnel.
The charge split the enemy column in two and now instead of attacking, the front section was trying to defend on two fronts as the humans took renewed strength from the reinforcements. The tunnel grew slippery with blood and ichor as the distance between the humans and dwarves lessened. Finally there were only a couple of insect warriors left and the humans and dwarves were putting as much effort into avoiding each others weapons as they were into killing bugs. Meanwhile, the back part of the insect warriors’ column was being forced further and further down the tunnel. They were not retreating, but the dwarves were chopping through layer after layer of them.
Finally, at some unseen signal the remaining insects turned as one and ran down the tunnel, leaving the shorter-legged dwarves panting behind them. Thank you, Your Majesty," Malus panted.
Tosig Longbeard inclined his head in response. "We are allies." One of the dwarves pushed his way through the ranks and whispered in the king’s ear. "Now if you will excuse us, there is-ah-a matter which we must investigate." With that he turned and signaled to his followers. As they fell back and the long strode to the front Malus caught a scrap of the messenger’s words.
": piled clear to the ceiling: just everywhere."
"Well," said Malus. "If those creatures return they shall have to fight past the dwarves. Those will not give up treasure merely because of a horde of giant ants."
"Fine with me," said Shamus. "If they keep those bugs away from us they’re welcome to all the treasure they can carry."
"Light up ahead," Malkin whispered to Wiz.
What now? Giant ants or lava? He tightened his grip on his staff and motioned the others to make ready.
The light was blue, but brighter blue than the fungus in the ant tunnels. It bobbed about as it came on, casting moving shadows on the floor and walls. Wiz scanned the shadows anxiously, looking for something hiding there.
Malkin was crouched to one side, rapier drawn and ready. When he looked back at the light he could make out figures in it. In fact:
Malkin screamed and dropped her rapier. Before Wiz could react she dashed forward bare-handed.
"Jerry!" she yelled.
Wiz looked again and sure enough, it was Jerry with a knot of people. Malkin ran to Jerry and practically leapt into his arms. He hugged her and lifted her clear of the floor in a single sweeping motion. Meanwhile the others pounded up and mere was a brief orgy of back-slapping, hugging and yelling.
"How the hell did you guys get here?" Wiz asked looking over the assortment of guards, wizards and others who were with his friend.
"We came looking for you," Jerry said, through Malkin’s dark hair. Then he set her down and kissed her soundly. "Bal-Simba’s here with Moira and a bunch of other people and, oh, Wiz, this is Taj, E.T. Tajikawa."
The Tajmanian Devil? I’m honored to meet you, but how did you get here?"
"Lets just say they made me an offer I couldn’t refuse," Tajikawa said. "No, not that kind of an offer," he said when he saw Wiz’s expression. They just dangled a real interesting problem under my nose."
"You know Major Mick Gilligan?"
"Good Lord? You’re in on this, too?"
"It’s a long story," Gilligan said, "and it’s just ’Mick,’ no more major."
"Let me guess."
"We found a solution, too," Jerry said. Then he explained to Wiz and the others about A-life and the probable nature of their enemy.
"It makes sense," Wiz said when the Taj and Jerry duet finally ran down. "It would explain a lot of what we’ve found since we arrived."
"I am glad it makes sense to you," Malkin said, still clinging to Jerry’s arm,
"because it’s gibberish to me. All I know is we’ve got to find this thing and finish it."
"That’s what it comes down to," Taj agreed. "Otherwise it will get bigger, meaner and nastier all the time."
"Yeah," Danny said, "and closer too. Look!"
Wiz turned and saw zombies bearing down on them.
"Quick," Wiz yelled, "down this tunnel." Programmers, guardsmen and wizards all dashed for the indicated opening. Jerry was the last in, backing down the tunnel for a distance before turning and running to join the others.
The zombies tottered out of the cavern and started down the tunnel, their sightless eyes fixed on their prey. Wiz stepped to one side, staff raised, ready to strike out at their undead attackers. Jerry put a hand on his arm to restrain him.
"Wait a minute," he said. "I may have something better." Wiz looked apprehensively at the oncoming horde but lowered his staff.
The first zombie tottered more than usual and stopped. He jerked convulsively as if trying to lift his trailing leg, but the foot stayed planted on the floor. By this time two other zombies had stopped, then three more. Before they were twenty paces down the tunnel all the zombies were stopped, doing a weird jerky twitch-dance like a demented version of a rock video.
"That should hold them for a while," Jerry said with satisfaction.
"What in hell kind of spell was that?"
"Crazy Glue," Jerry told him.
"Yeah, but how does it work?"
"Crazy Glue."
"No, not what you call it, but how does it work?"
Jerry held up a green-and-white bottle. "Crazy Glue. Jumbo size. I picked some up when we were in Vegas. I put drops of it all over the floor. Relax. They’re not going anywhere."
"Until they cut their feet off and crawl after us," Wiz said.
Jerry looked back over his shoulder. "Don’t give them any ideas."
"You know," Wiz said as they turned the corner out into another cavern, "those are the first zombies I’ve seen in a while. I wonder what happened to all the rest of them?"
"Oh, they were delicious," came a bubbling voice out of the darkness. The group turned and the giant lobster emerged from the sha
dows. "Such flavor, such character." He clicked his claws together in a way that reminded Wiz of a gourmet smacking his lips. "Humans improve tremendously with aging, you know." There was a pause. "Not much conversation however, and they simply would not stop wiggling."
Wiz turned slightly green. Something in the back of his mind kept reminding him that lobsters were carrion eaters.
The lobster clicked his claw more forcefully, with a sound that rang like a rifle shot in the cavern. "Oh, parsley! I don’t suppose your friends brought any with them?"
"Not part of our MREs," Gilligan said, keeping his hand close to his pistol butt. "Sorry."
"Oh, well, one can hope, can’t one? In any event, if you’ll excuse me, I believe there are some more of them down this way." With that the lobster brushed by them and hustled off the way they had come, feelers atwitch with anticipation. Wiz, Mick and the others watched him go. Then Mick and the rest turned to look at Wiz.
"Uh, that’s the lobster."
"Another ally?" Gilligan asked.
"Kind of. Just don’t let him have you over for dinner."
TWENTY-EIGHT
THE END OF THE BEGINNING
They met Bal-Simba and Malus’ group in another large chamber perhaps a half-mile on. There was another backslapping reunion and then a quick council of war to plan the final assault.
"Our detectors show the center of the thing-and Moira-are down that tunnel and in a large room beyond," Bal-Simba told the group.
"So do we sneak up on this thing?" Taj asked.
Wiz shook his head. "We’re not going to surprise it. It knows we’re coming." He looked around. "My suggestion is that we divide into two groups. One bunch of us will charge the thing and hit it hard. Hopefully that will keep it occupied. Meanwhile, the second group, with Bal-Simba and most of the wizards comes up behind, throwing as much magic at it as you can." He looked at the golden globe in the Tajmanian Devil’s hand. "Taj, you go in tucked in behind the first line, ready to lob that thing at it as soon as we get close. With luck it will be so busy with the first and second lines it won’t even see you coming."
