by Kris Calvert
“You don’t have to make any decisions today. But you should know, if she has another heart attack she might not survive.”
“And if I opt for her to have the surgery?”
“There are no guarantees for anything at this age, Mac.”
“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” I mumbled.
“Again, she’s stable, Mac. We’re keeping a close eye on her. She’s been moved out of her room and into the cardiac care center.”
“Where are her guards?” I asked.
“Unfortunately they can’t be as close to her. She’s in a ward right now with other cardiac patients, but she’ll be back in her own room tomorrow.”
“King, I can’t take any chances.”
“Don’t worry. Your agents are swarming the place,” he mumbled. “And much to the dislike of most of the other patients.”
“Thank you, King. I appreciate everything you’ve done. For my mother and the rest of the family.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
I hung up the phone and walked to shut my door. I dialed Sam and tried to hold it together.
“Hello, sweetheart,” her sweet voice sang on the other end. “I miss you.”
It was my breaking point. I took a deep breath, hoping I could get through it without crumbling.
“Mac? Hello?”
“Hi, baby,” I managed to say.
“What’s wrong? Mac, are you okay?”
“No.”
“Mac, are you hurt?”
“It’s my mother.”
“Oh God, no. What happened?” she gasped.
“She’s had a heart attack. King just called.”
“What?”
“He said she’s stable, but she’s got a blockage and I have to make a decision to either have them operate, with no guarantee that she’d survive, or just wait it out.”
“But she’s stable now?” Her voice shook.
I knew if she started to cry, I would be helpless to hold in all the emotions I’d been harboring for the last week.
“King says she’s stable – for now. But I need to get to Shadeland.”
“I’ll meet you there,” Sam offered. “We’ll do this together.”
“That would be great, Sam. But for right now, I need you to stay put. There’s a lot going on and I need to know you’re safe.”
“I’m not staying here while you deal with this alone.”
“Listen, Sam. I love you so much, but right now I’m just trying to keep all the women in my life alive. What I really need is for you to do as I say.”
“You can’t do this alone. I don’t want you to do this alone.”
“It’ll be fine.”
“I can hear it in your voice, Mac. You’re not fine.”
“You’re right,” I confessed as my voice finally cracked.
There was a drawn out and quiet moment. I didn’t know what else to say, or if there were even words to describe how helpless I was feeling. I heard Sam catch her breath and sniffle. I waited.
“Tell me what you want me to do.”
“You’re doing it.”
“I wish I was there to hold you. You know as long as we have each other, everything will be okay.”
“I wish you were here too, baby. I just feel like everything is such a shit-storm.”
“That’s because it is,” she agreed.
“Those are your words of comfort?” I laughed through my anxiousness.
“What’s the saying? If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
“Winston Churchill,” I replied.
“We’ve got to keep going, Mac. There are too many people who need us.”
I sat up in the chair. Samantha was right. I needed to stay strong. I took a deep breath and nodded at her words.
“Mac?”
“I’m nodding.”
“Okay,” she whispered.
“I can hear the smile on your face,” I confessed. “I just wish I was there to see it.”
“We’ll be together soon.”
“Not soon enough. And by the way, it’s my job to comfort you. Make you feel safe.”
“It’s both of our jobs. In good times and in bad – remember?”
“How could I forget? It was just last week. I guess I just assumed the two weeks that were supposed to be our honeymoon wouldn’t be…”
“What?”
“This catastrophe,” I sighed.
“This catastrophe is life. It’s our life. And we will make the best of it. Is it more exciting than the normal family trials? Yes. But I knew what I was getting into the day I met you. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
I managed a smile. “I thank God every day for you, Samantha.”
“Ditto.”
“As much as I want you with me, I still think it’s best for you to stay in New Orleans with Z for the time being.”
“I’ll do whatever you want me to.”
“When I get to Shadeland, I’ll assess the situation and give you a call if you need to come.”
“Okay,” she whispered. “When are you leaving Washington?”
“I don’t know. I’ll call you later. Okay? Where is Z?”
“Out with Polly.”
“What are they doing?”
“Courting?”
“What?”
“That’s what Mimi said you were doing when we first met. She told me you were courting me.”
“That was different. He’s supposed to be on a case,” I snapped.
“Yes,” she droned. “And as I recall you were also supposed to be on a case when we met, and you swept me off my feet with flowers and gazebos and Chinese food –”
“And lovemaking on the boardroom table?”
“Oh Lord,” Sam gasped. “Do you think they’re – you know.”
“Z has quite the reputation.”
“So did you.”
“It’s not the same,” I corrected.
“How is it not the same?”
“Baby, I loved you the moment I laid eyes on you. It was like being hit by a truck. I thank God every day that I’ve never recovered from it.’
“I love you, you smooth talking Southern boy.”
“God, I love you, Samantha,” I sighed, feeling like a completely different man from the one who’d called her with the news of my mother.
“Get home,” Samantha sighed. “And call me.”
“What did I ever do to deserve you?”
“I feel that way about you. Every day,” she cooed.
23
POLLY
“Two days in a row.” I sighed as I sat across the table from Leo in the courtyard of Café Amélie in the heart of the French Quarter.
“Can’t a gentleman just enjoy lunch with a beautiful lady twice in one week?” he asked with a devilish grin. Every time Leo Xanthis smiled, I felt like he was undressing me with his eyes. It was the most platonic, overt sexual act I’d ever witnessed, let alone been the target of.
I told myself as I watched him sip his freshly squeezed lemonade that my feelings could be one-sided, but easily pushed that thought from my mind. Leo was sending off vibes. And they weren’t just Southern gentlemanly vibes. This man had an invisible ignition switch. I didn’t know if his pheromones or my libido was in overdrive. What I did know was I liked him. I liked him a lot.
“Are you going to answer my question?” he asked as the soothing sound of the fountain beside us and the darkness of his eyes lulled me into a quiet trance.
“I’m sorry,” I stumbled. “What was the question?”
“I said,” he repeated soft and low, “can’t I just enjoy the company of a beautiful lady two days in a row?”
“And the answer to that questions is yes. Of course,” I quipped as if I’d not made myself clear the first time. “I’m just not used to this kind of attention.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
His eye contact was unwavering but in
the past two days I had discovered something about him. When he was nervous, or maybe even when he wasn’t and was possibly just thinking, he uttered a low hum of Mmm as if something tasted really good. It gave him a naughty mischievousness that caused me to daydream of sounds he would make while having hot sex.
“Thank you again for the clothes yesterday. It wasn’t necessary to do so much. I mean, we’re not staying here for a month,” I giggled.
“What a shame,” he replied.
“I don’t want to be rude. You’ve been more than accommodating – for everyone. Especially me. But I’m not the kind of girl who falls for the slick come-ons and aw shucks good ole boy Southern charm.”
“I’m not sure I follow,” Leo said as he took another sip of his lemonade.
“Of course you follow.”
He stared at me and cocked his head to one side. It was quiet in the courtyard of the restaurant and the birds were out singing, happy that spring was arriving again in full force. I met his unyielding gaze and held my own. I’d said my peace and I wasn’t going to apologize for how I felt.
“Tell me about growing up in Montana. What was that like?” he asked, ignoring my last comment.
“What?” I continued. “It was…great, I guess.”
“Happy childhood?”
“Yes, doctor,” I chided, wondering what he was looking for.
He smiled and continued. “What about Princeton? How’d you meet Samantha?”
“Sam and I were matched as roommates our freshman year. The rest is history.”
“Surely there’s more to it than that,” he smiled without moving his body an inch. He was the most stationary man I’d ever met. He didn’t feel the need to use his hands or be overly histrionic when he spoke. The emphasis when he talked was definitely in the quiet stillness in which he delivered his lines. It was, for a lack of a better word, unnerving. He was smooth and unflinching. It was the kind of behavior a trained psychologist would expect of a cold, calculating sociopath. And yet I knew he wasn’t. The calmness he displayed contrasted to my usual exaggerated behavior. We were opposites.
“What do you want to know that you’ve not already read about me in one of your files?”
He raised his eyebrows to me. “What makes you think I have a file on you?”
“C’mon, Leo. Don’t insult my intelligence,” I stated with a smirk.
“I would never.”
“So?” I asked, quickly turning the tables on his interrogation.
“I want to get to know you. Not your file.”
“So there is a file,” I exclaimed. “Well, I hate to break it to you. There’s a lot about me that you’ll never find. Even in an FBI file.”
“Tell me about Princeton,” he continued, ignoring my comment.
“What’s there to tell?”
“Any boyfriends?”
I hesitated as I thought back to how Sam and I became best friends, and in that moment I was discovered.
“Yes,” he drawled calmly.
“What?”
“I don’t always need a straightforward answer to know what’s true,” he replied.
I shook my head at him and scowled. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“I’m getting to know you.”
“Why do I feel like I’m naked – emotionally naked, that is – while you’re getting to know me?”
“Do you feel emotionally naked?”
“Stop answering my questions with another question, Dr. Xanthis.”
He said nothing. I studied his face for a sign of anything. There was no concern, there was no joy, he showed zero emotion. Yet I didn’t waver. I met his staring contest head on until I saw the slightest muscle movement in the corner of his mouth. It was a hint of a smile, and it was all I needed. His eyes brightened and I knew. Leo Xanthis liked me.
Our lunch arrived and as he waited for me to begin eating, I made a conscious decision. What did I have to lose? I’d probably never see this man again after Mac wrapped this case. I’d already looked into applying at a few schools to go back and get my Ph.D. I was soon to be long gone.
“Fine,” I stated. “What do you want to know?”
He didn’t hesitate and stopped eating to give me his undivided attention. “How did you meet Samantha?”
“I was in an abusive relationship my freshman year at Princeton. He was popular, well liked, a student athlete, smart and a complete head case. It started out innocently enough. He would become jealous if I spent time with anyone, even if it was purely platonic. That moved on to hitting me in a drunken, jealous rage, lying and finally not even needing the alcohol to lay hands on me.”
“How long did this go on?” he asked.
“A year.” I paused. “A year too long. In my defense he wasn’t always a bad guy. He could be incredibly sweet. He always apologized and said it would never happen again and then…”
“And then the pattern would repeat itself.”
“Something like that,” I agreed, looking to my plate and nervously wiping my mouth.
“How did it end?” Leo asked, shifting his weight in the chair. It was the first time he’d moved the entire time we sat in the courtyard of the restaurant.
“Not well,” I shook my head. “After a black eye and a lot of coaxing from Samantha, I went to the police and took out a restraining order.”
“But that wasn’t the end. Was it?”
“No. The school wanted to cover the whole thing up. He was one of the golden boys of Princeton. A fifth generation legacy, the university wanted it all to go away. They wanted me to go away.”
“But you didn’t.”
“I didn’t leave Princeton. He came to me crying, apologizing, telling me he loved me and he was wrong. But I was done.”
“Did you see him after that?”
“Not really. Our paths stayed pretty separate. I’m sure the board of trustees had a little something to do with that.”
“How’d that make you feel?”
“Again with the touchy-feely,” I snapped. “I went from sad to mad to don’t care.”
“How so?”
“I was sad in the beginning. I loved him. I never would’ve stayed with him if I didn’t. I wanted him to be a better man. He just wasn’t capable.”
“Then you were mad.”
“I was upset that right didn’t prevail over wrong…again. I was pissed that money trumped truth and justice. He should’ve been kicked out of school. He should’ve been arrested. That’s not the way it works when you have money.”
“And then?” he asked as he nodded.
“I became a stronger person,” I sighed. “I got my degree from Princeton. I have no idea what became of him. Don’t care. He’s someone else’s problem.”
Leo said nothing but nodded, keeping his unyielding eye contact.
“I have a question for you,” I began.
“Yes?”
“How did you know the restraining order wasn’t the end of the relationship? I mean, I told you I had a black eye and had gone to the police.”
“Samantha forced you to go to the police.”
“How do you know that? Is that in my file?” I smirked.
“You said it took a lot of coaxing from Samantha. I’m sure you were scared and upset, but you were also ashamed you’d allowed it to happen. You wanted it to be different and facing the truth validated what a piece of shit he was. Sorry for being disrespectful and using foul language.”
“It’s fine. He was a piece of shit.”
“You thought it meant you were weak if you went to the police. In fact, it was very brave to admit to what was happening. Not an easy thing. Especially when you’re nineteen.”
“Wow.” It was all I could say. He’d analyzed, explained and commended me in a single breath.
“Were you a psychology major before all this happened? Or after?” he asked.
“Before. Why’d you choose it?” I asked as the waitress brought the check and set it on the table. S
he lingered and smiled at him, waiting for him to acknowledge her.
He caught her eye for a split second and then turned back to me, unaffected. “That’s a conversation for another day, cher.”
“That’s a little unfair, don’t you think?” I laughed.
“No.”
“No?” I’d had enough of the give and take with all give and no take.
“I never said I was going to reciprocate when I asked about your childhood and Samantha. The rest was your doing.”
“That’s not true. I was merely answering your questions,” I protested as he dropped a hundred dollar bill into the vinyl cash folder that contained our check for lunch.
“I didn’t force you to tell me anything. You gave the information up voluntarily.”
“Uh–” I snapped. He was right. I had. What had come over me?
“All you had to say was ‘Leo, I’d rather not discuss that’. And I wouldn’t have continued.”
I stood and dropped my napkin on the table, brushing the full pale green skirt Leo had purchased for me as part of my new wardrobe free of breadcrumbs. “This is horseshit,” I murmured.
Leo was on his feet as soon as I stood, quickly holding my chair. He leaned into my neck as I refused to look at him and inhaled, breathing me in. I tried to ignore the way the heat from his body and the sheer masculinity in which he held himself made me woozy.
“Your mouth is too beautiful to utter such words, cher,” he whispered into my ear.
Stunned, I felt all the blood rush to my face and my ears began to ring.
“I think you’re amazing,” he continued, keeping his solid and tight frame so close without touching me. “Beautiful, smart and…”
“And what?” I faced him, accidentally grazing my lips on the collar of his shirt, leaving a red lipstick stain. Our bodies remained inches apart and I blushed at what I’d done to his white shirt.
“Full of sass.”
The word dripped off his tongue like honey and I was at a loss for what to say next. Thank you seemed inappropriate, so I moved into the closeness. Our lips were a breath away from one another as I whispered what I was really thinking, “I hope screwing with my mind is a precursor to something vastly more satisfying, Dr. Xanthis.”
24
SAMANTHA
I sat in the White Room where the children slept at Jackson House rocking Dax in my arms and singly softly as Katy slept in the bassinet.
