by Leanne Davis
“Like you’ve never done it to another woman,” she said finally. Her words garbled as her breath kept catching while he sucked and nipped on her skin. “Like you never even heard another woman’s name before.” Tracy refrained from saying like he never had with her sister.
Sliding his hands from her hair and down her shirt, he nearly ripped it off her. He pulled just as hard at her underpants. “If you want it like that, then you better grab onto the headboard,” he mumbled as his lips devoured hers and his hands ran over skin. Her mind felt like steam was about to explode from it.
“What?” She was interrupted from the delicious buildup of hormones by his startling command.
“Grab onto the headboard,” he repeated softly. She swallowed and stared up at the iron bars of the decorative headboard. Ideal for gripping. His gaze stayed firmly on hers as he cocked his eyebrows as if to say your move. She realized that he was daring her. This was a test for her to prove she really meant to do it. Holy crap… intimate. There was nothing hidden or subtle then. This wasn’t any quick lay, or just a means to scratch an itch.
“I-I can’t.” She pulled her head back, truly stunned by what he was asking her. “That’s…” What? Crazy, to start with. Too much.
“Do it,” he insisted. He pushed on her torso so she was closer to the top of the bed. “Or leave.”
The tone of threat in his demand, and the authority of his cool tone horrified her… But it also turned her on to the point that white noise started to fill the inside of her head, and heat that grew almost painfully intense, filled her entire body. There was also a dampness that soon had her dripping. She did not expect anything like this. Not from Donny. Definitely, not from her. She didn’t even know how to make her limbs obey his command.
She finally obeyed him and lay flat as she grabbed a rail with each fist. The intense heat was nearly singing her skin. She could not believe she was doing that. She felt his hands resting at the tops of her legs and positioning her exactly how he wanted, and then… his tongue touched her. Nothing else. Just his tongue on the most intimate, private part of her body. And her soul. It shocked, thrilled, and electrified her. She whimpered as she pushed her body down towards him without thinking. He held her underneath him, using his hands to keep her where he had easiest access. Then, with his mouth, tongue and fingers, he gave her more pleasure than she’d had in over a year.
Oh God! She couldn’t take it. It was so good, so intense, and so much. She was nearly gagging trying to hold back her muffled cries that verged on becoming full, blood-curdling screams. She closed her eyes as his mouth caused an all-consuming orgasm that might possibly have created a blood clot in her heart, or a stroke inside her head.
Tracy didn’t care at that moment. She released her grip on the headboard and lay flat on the mattress. There was nothing polite or subtle about her body’s reaction to him. She rolled over him so she was lying directly on top of him. He suddenly flipped both of them over. His breathing sounded labored and his eyes glittered like hard gems in the light, which silhouetted him. “Condom. Just let me put one on. We really don’t need to complicate this situation even more.”
He came back with one in his hand and stared down at her before leaning in and lying on the side of her body. Her soft hands began to stroke him. He was already big and thick. The tip was nearly pulsating its need for her. She tugged on him hard and his entire body followed the movement, coming closer to her with a groan. She liked his reaction to her. He was not what she expected. They were not exactly being soft and kind and sweet in their efforts.
No! They were hot and wild. For the first time in a year, she was no one’s anything. Just a mass of pulsating hormones and rushing body fluids. It wasn’t romantic. It was hot and heated. It was pure sex, and as complete and satisfying as the act was designed to me.
“How do you want this part?” he asked after pausing to take her nipple between his lips and pulling on it with his teeth.
“Like… I’m not the ordinary, nice woman you’ve always respected.”
His face, so intense and almost angry, finally loosened into a half smile. That took her breath away and knocked it out of her chest. It was kind of like macho alpha dominance.
“What are you then?”
“I’m not ordinary.”
“You could say that. Do you know what you’ve put me through? A few too many nights denied and having to be relieved at the mercy of my own hand.”
Her heart skipped. “Y-You’ve had fantasies about me?”
“For about six months.”
“While you…” She snapped her lips shut. She was about to say while you were sleeping with Vickie. But she would not mention any other names now, of all times. Or ask when he masturbated.
“Yeah, Tracy, that’s exactly when,” he said, sliding his hand up her arms and holding her wrists together like handcuffs. His lips touched hers again and she let her entire body go limp. His mouth tasted like her, which made her blood rush even hotter. It also made her stomach hunger in want. She didn’t get that. It was fast and hot and rough.
He didn’t come into her like she expected. Her legs were wide open, waiting, her body nearly straining to receive his erection. Instead, he pushed on her hips, and turned her over, pulling her butt up in the air towards him. Her face was buried in the pillow as her heart tripped over itself in the excitement and horror rushing through her.
His hands slid along her naked butt and he got onto his knees. He groaned and held her still before pushing inside her, long and deep and hard. Her face scrunched up the pillow until the top of her head hit the metal rung of the headboard. She was too turned on to care. She simply pushed harder against him and groaned as her body took in all of him, adjusting to grip him in her tightness. She felt like a virgin again, she was so tight. Except this was even better because she knew what she doing and feeling. She knew how to squeeze her vaginal walls around him and nearly got off from the pressure he created there. He filled her completely, overstuffing her, or at least, that’s what it felt like.
The condom made it feel different. She almost had to concentrate even harder to make the swirling heat continue to build. He pulled all the way out, and then slammed deep into her again. Harder. Deeper. Her body was like an air cushion that reinflated when he let up on the pressure, and flattened when he exerted it again. His hands slid up her spine, their gentle touch at odds with the way his body was taking her. She groaned at the contrast. He seemed to be reverently touching her, while completely possessing her.
It was not simple, sweet, nice sex to pass the evening. This told her she was no longer his nice, ordinary, soccer mom-friend. There was no other way to describe it as he started to move in and out of her. Harder. Faster. Like his hips were a jackhammer, and her body the pavement he had to crack apart. She finally gripped the iron rung of the headboard to steady her body before widening her knees so she could take him deeper. The movement shoved her face into the mattress and muffled her groans of complete pleasure. This was way beyond getting off. This was approaching a shattering, ruining, life changing caliber.
Her entire body practically combusted over him. “Oh God. Oh God. Oh God,” she chanted, while pushing down onto him. It felt so good that she thought she might simply break apart. Melting. Dying. There was no other outcome for her sex-drugged, pleasure-filled mind. She was nearly going mad when her spine stiffened and her body milked his shaft as it tightened over him. Her insides felt like a bonfire was consuming her. When he came too, she simply doubled over and nearly passed out.
Minutes passed. Her head eventually started to clear as her mind quit buzzing. Her body ceased throbbing with the lingering aftershocks of a virtual earthquake. Slowly, the shadowy shapes of the room came back into focus, and the deep silence of the sleeping house started to fully register. What if someone heard them? She nearly groaned again out loud, but this time, it was from total disgust and utter embarrassment. She forgot all about the time and space around her. She forgot everything, including th
at Donny was her brother-in-law, and her parents, as well as her kids, were only steps away.
She was naked. Stark naked with Donny. They decimated the bed. There wasn’t an inch of it they hadn’t wrestled on and disrupted. The covers were scattered on the floor and their feet now lay diagonally across the mattress.
What could she say now? She didn’t have any words. She clutched her hands to her chest, and curled onto her side, in his bed. That was the part that was so bad. She was in Donny’s bed. She closed her eyes and squeezed them tight. She wasn’t supposed to be there. Or doing this.
He rolled towards her, putting his arms around her, and completely enveloping her. He rested his face on the side of hers. His hands wrapped around hers, which she fisted at her breasts. His legs were spooned to the back of hers. His body heat surrounded her and his arms held her tightly. She felt chilled to her core quite suddenly, and hollow and sad. And happy. How could she feel glad that he was wrapped around her? How could it feel so good when it was supposed to be so damn wrong?
“This can’t have happened.” It was a whisper from her conscience, filled with deep regret.
“Your pussy has been in my mouth. You can’t deny this any longer.”
Her mouth dropped open in complete shock. He did not just say that. No way. No how. His first words to her after sex were that nothing was wrong with it? She tried to sit up and shift away from him, but he simply tightened his arms around her, holding her there, and next to him. “I know what you’re going to do. You’re going to tell me how wrong this is. How bad it is. How bad you are, and how bad I am. I know where this is going for you.”
“It is.” Her voice was a muffled squeak against the arm he had fully around her.
“You came to me.”
“I know.”
“And the reason we had the kind of sex we just did is so that you can’t deny it. You can’t call it an accident, or a one-time thing. No one who had the kind of sex we just did could try to deny that it happened. Or that it isn’t real.”
“Was that how you had sex with my sister too?”
His silence was as deafening as a loud roar in the room. Finally, he muttered, as if cursing her, “I will never discuss that with you.”
Her entire body reacted to his tone and words, while her heart swelled with emotions. Why couldn’t she find this with anybody else but her brother-in-law?
“But you know, right? How my sister likes sex. Your mouth has been on her too. So again, explain to me why this isn’t wrong.”
“And Micah’s mouth used to be on you. Are you telling me you can’t see the difference? The sex you just had? You loved it. You like it with me. And Micah and Vickie were nowhere between us. For once, you let it just be us. And we fell into an inferno, didn’t we? Deny it, Tracy. Go ahead and tell me you weren’t nearly passed out from the pleasure I gave you. Not Micah. Or anyone else.”
“But you’re not mine to have.” That’s why she felt so hollowed out inside. She was not supposed to feel that. How do you undo the wrong feelings inside of you? She would have given anything to know the answer.
He moved his hand and his fingertips touched her nipple. Her nerve endings suddenly stood on end like soldiers, ready for a drill. How? How could there be any feeling left in her? He leaned over and kissed her shoulder, her neck, and her collarbone.
“Are you on the pill?”
“Yes,” she sighed as he slipped inside her again. Gently, this time, they lay on their sides and he held her against his front while easily, and smoothly, sliding in and out of her. The angle, and the slowness made it seem like a completely different act. It was long and soft and gentle until she had another orgasm. That flowed through her like a glass of wine when it hit her blood stream. It was long and drawn out, so different from the volcanic explosion she felt before.
This time, he was full of warmth and safety and care. It was like he touched her heart and her core with his gentle strokes inside her. It felt so good, and so profound, and so drawn out.
She lifted her leg over his hip as he finally, and only at the very end, pushed into her hard, holding her still while he silently came inside of her. She could feel his neck tendons straining, even though she couldn’t see him.
He leaned over her, sliding out and kissing her forehead, nose and cheek. “I want you in my life. I have been wanting you for a long time now. You make everything better for me simply with your presence. When I’m around you, I feel like anything is possible. Even this.”
She closed her eyes and tears filled them. Not because she didn’t want to hear his words, but because she wanted to believe them so much. Her heart felt like it twisted in half at hearing his words. His beautiful words and soft touch. She turned over so she was completely huddled against him, but didn’t answer him. Neither did she run from him.
“I don’t love you,” she whispered finally, feeling his chest rise and fall next to hers.
Eventually, he replied, “I don’t love you, either.”
Chapter Twenty
TRACY ROLLED OVER WITH a groan when sunlight finally stabbed her eyes. She sat up as abruptly as if a porcupine was under her feet. Oh crap! She was in bed with Donny. But no… she glanced around. She was in her own bed, and wearing a clean, not-smelling-like-sex t-shirt. She curled into a ball and groaned out loud. Donny must’ve brought her in there and put fresh clothes on her. Why? In case her children came running in and found her? Or her mother was looking for her?
It could have been either of those scenarios. Her heart swelled with emotion to know he cared so much to put her back there. How did she not wake up? Then, her elated heart felt like it broke when she remembered how she betrayed her entire family. All for what? Hormones? Simply because she was horny?
She stood up, but the motion made her lower half ache in protest. She wasn’t hurt, but achy and sore. For the entire day, she could not move without remembering exactly why she felt every detail and every part of her lower anatomy. The part that Donny so kindly acknowledged with his tongue. And his lips. And his fingers. Oh, Lord!
She pushed her fantasies aside and got into the shower. She washed and scrubbed as if that could have changed what happened. But that made her remorseful because she didn’t want to wash it away. She wanted to savor it. And revel in it. And cherish it. Most of all, she wanted to do it again. And again. And again. She wanted Donny’s arms around her even now, this morning, when it felt so hard to face everything. He was the only one she wanted to help her face it.
She stared at her wardrobe. What should she wear? She felt a flutter of interest in her wardrobe she had not experienced since Micah left her. She frowned in displeasure before purposely putting on something that was not pretty or interesting. The shorts were a little too baggy and long, but perfect for hanging around the house, or housecleaning, or when she felt fat. She pulled on a t-shirt that said ‘Mom Rulz, Kids Drool’ on it. A relic from years ago, it was a Mother’s Day gift from Ally. Pulling her long hair into a ponytail, Tracy paused, thinking of Donny’s hand in it, holding it, using it to deftly maneuver her mouth wherever he wanted. She hated herself when a ripple of feeling fluttered inside her core and pulsated lower. Dear God! She was turning into a deviant.
How? How could she face him? She stood inside her door after opening it. She could not do that. She could not put one foot in front of the other and picture the moment when she would be face-to-face with Donny Lindstrom. The brother-in-law she just had sex with.
As if to underscore how wrong it all was, she could hear Donny’s voice downstairs, talking to her children. She leaned her head against the doorjamb. Oh dear Lord, that was he answering Ally about when the tide was going out. Then she heard Julia gurgling and shrieking loudly about something while Donny chuckled. Her family, their family, was interacting all PG and sweet. A Norman Rockwell picture of a happy family on vacation. She stepped cautiously down the stairs and entered the hallway to view the crowded kitchen. Her mother was pouring her father coffee. Donny was sea
ted next to Julia and helping her eat a bowl of applesauce. Her kids were munching on Poptarts and talking over each other. The bright sunlight was nearly blinding as it shone through the windows.
“Good morning, sleepyhead. I thought you were never getting up.”
Tracy jerked upright when her mother’s voice pierced through her spiraling, panicked thoughts. “Uh, hey, Mom. I guess I had too much fresh air.”
She knew, right down to her little toe, that Donny raised his head and was staring directly at her. She felt his gaze like a physical caress on her body. Her stomach tightened with nerves and her racing blood warmed her veins. Her cheeks obeyed their God-given, unrelenting habit of turning red. She kept her face down and addressed her feet. Yup, so mature.
“Well, come in. Have some coffee. We were just discussing what to do today. We were thinking of going to the fort. Do you want to go?”
Her heart leapt at the thought, while picturing last night on the beach. Donny’s personal impression of last year’s trip there. His words rippled through her, Feel this. Feel me.
“Um, no. I think I’ll just hang out here. If you don’t mind.”
“Of course not. The kids will have fun with us.”
Tracy knew she was mumbling and totally evading the one person in the room that was staring hard at her. She could not force herself to face him. Not yet. Not with everyone there. It was such a stupid thing to do last night. There. With the entire family surrounding them. So stinking stupid. She should have, at least, done it at home where she could have insisted on never, ever seeing him again. That would have been her preferred venue and course of action.
But of course, now she would have to see him over and over, year after year, and always by her sister’s side. Or she could never see her sister again, and see Donny year after year, and over and over. She leaned onto the counter and the gravity of what she did felt like it could literally have pushed her into the ground.
“Good. Then we’ll pack a picnic and leave in a half hour or so.”
