He nodded.
She looked directly at him. My marriage wasnt honest. I dont know if what I feel for you is permanent. Its possible that it could be, but I dont know yet. Its too soon.
Surely he had seen women far lovelier than this slender girl with her stern beauty and night-dark eyes, but he couldnt recall them. Brian was very much afraid that he never would again.
Please say its enough, Brian. Her voice cracked on his name and his heart broke. I need it to be enough for you.
20
Caitlin leaned against the fence and watched the jockeys file out, small men, perfectly proportioned, narrow as strips of leather, their silks hot flashes of color in the winter grayness. The horses came next, stud chains taut against their tongues, warming blankets covering the sleek coats, legs wrapped, hooves shining, eyes wild. The black filly caught her attention. She was calm, expectant, every nerve under control, a winner. Caitlin marked her race card.
Mum? Ben tugged at her sleeve. I like the red one. Will you bet on him?
Her, Caitlin corrected him. These are fillies, Ben, and this is their maiden race.
Will you bet on the red one? he repeated, undeterred.
Brigid ruffled her grandsons hair. Give your mother a chance t think, lad. Shes the one whose money will be lost or won.
The chestnut was magnificent: large, showy, nerves on edge. Caitlin bent down and kissed the top of her sons head. Look at her, Ben. I dont think shes got what it takes to win. Look at the way shes resisting the bit. Do you see it?
Ben nodded.
Caitlin looked around. Wheres Annie?
She went to the barns.
Caitlin sighed. The Punchestown race was too large for a child to be wandering about alone. Sam would find out and he would have yet another complaint against her.
Deciding quickly, she marked her second and third choices: the bay to place and the gray to show. Long ago, John OShea had warned her away from caution on a maiden race. Still, John had been reaping the benefits of a comfortable monthly draft from the Curragh Stud. She wasnt so fortunate. Handing her race card to her mother along with a fifty pound note and the admonition, Be sure to get there before the window closes. She held out her hand to her son and smiled. Come along, Ben. We need to find your sister.
Plowing through the wet turf, more sodden than usual because of a thick mist that had settled over the track the night before, Caitlin surveyed her boots and grimaced. They were black with mud. She led Ben into the barn. Under the casual swipe of her hand she felt her hair, unruly as usual, the strands escaping from her clip to curl riotously around her face, and sighed. Shed tried for a more dignified look but the weather wouldnt cooperate.
The barns were warm with horse breath and smelled sweetly of hay, alfalfa, and oats. Ben extricated his hand from hers and pointed to several shadowy shapes standing near an open door. Annies there, Mum, he said, and shes found Brian.
Caitlins heart sank. After her embarrassing seduction attempt, the last person in the world she wanted to see was Brian Hennessey. The Punchestown race was an important one which he would surely attend but as far as she knew, he didnt have a horse running.
Reluctantly, she followed Ben to stand beside her daughter. You didnt tell me where you were going, Annie, she said reprovingly. I was worried.
Graybeards Lady is running in the third race, the child announced excitedly. I wanted to wish her luck.
Caitlin gave the horse a quick, appraising glance. I havent seen her before. Is she new?
Brian nodded. She was an impulse buy. I bought her at Ballinasloe. Her sire is Satans Madboy. He glanced sideways at Caitlin. I took a chance on her.
You certainly did. Shed heard of Satans Madboy. He was legendary for his temper and his inability to conform.
This one runs like a dream, with speed and nerves of steel. I think shell make it.
Reaching out, Caitlin stroked the shining neck. The horse suffered her touch without so much as a twitch. Shes lovely. I hope you wont be out much if she doesnt come through.
Grinning, Brian shook his head. I bought her for a song.
Envy rose in Caitlins chest. It wasnt fair. She so desperately needed a winning horse. Irish Gold had the finest pedigree a colt could hope for yet he wasnt fit to race while Brian, on a hunch and at a price he could well afford, had found a winner at the Ballinasloe sale.
Battling her uncharitable thoughts, she forced a smile. Congratulations, she said lightly, and good luck.
Caitlin? He hesitated.
Yes.
Placing one hand on Annies head, he reached into his pocket with the other and pulled out two coins. Will you do me a favor, Annie love, and buy your brother and yourself a plate of chips while I finish up with your mother?
Annie lifted her chin. I suppose you have something to tell her that you dont want us to hear.
Annie. Caitlins cheeks were pink with embarrassment. What will Brian think of your manners?
Its nothin like that, lass, Brian reassured her. Your welcome to stay if you like. I didnt want to bore you, thats all.
Annie sniffed. Come on, Ben. The race is about to start. Lets see if we can find Daddy.
Im terribly sorry, Caitlin said, after the children were out of hearing. Annie isnt usually rude.
Brian nodded. Ive been around her enough to know thats so.
I cant seem to get through to her, Caitlin admitted.
Sometimes it happens with mothers and daughters.
You sound experienced.
Ive two sisters, he said simply. Sometimes the tension in our house was so thick, the only safe place to be was the barn.
Caitlin relaxed. He wasnt going to bring up their last disastrous meeting after all. It was that way in our house as well, she said, stroking the filly once again.
Two men walked into the barn, opened up the door of the stall on the far right, and stepped inside. Brian looked up, dismissed them, and turned back to the horse, his profile toward Caitlin.
I should be getting back to the children, she said when theyd stood there several minutes and he hadnt resumed his thread of conversation. Good luck with the filly.
Caitlin. He reached out, his hand circling her arm.
At his touch, she froze. He dropped his hand quickly.
Ive a business proposition for you.
Oh?
It may be a long time before Irish Gold is fit to race. How would you feel about buyin Graybeards Lady?
Her mind raced with the possibility and quickly rejected it. I couldnt possibly afford her.
Id sell her to you for what I paid.
How much?
Fifteen hundred quid.
She was stunned. Youre joking.
His eyes were impossibly blue and steady on her face. No.
Why would you do such a thing? she burst out, and then her face flamed. She had as much as asked for another declaration. Never mind, she stammered. Im sorry. Its out of the question.
Caitlin couldnt read the expression in his eyes. His words were formal, impeccably correct. While I cant blame myself for the condition of your colt, I am responsible for not allowin Kentucky Gold to breed this season. Id like to offer Graybeards Lady as a replacement.
Youre handing her over at a pittance of what shes worth.
Her worth hasnt been established. If you buy her now, before she wins, the sale will be perfectly legitimate.
What if she wins?
Her price will be ten times what I paid for her. Id give her to you, Caitlin. God knows I dont need the money. But if I do, there will be questions asked and I dont think you need that right now.
Caitlin chewed her lip and considered the dwindling balance of her bank account. Under normal circumstances, or if she were alone, she would be a fool to refuse such an offer. But the custody hearing was coming up and she had to consider appearances. The purchase of a race horse would be looked upon as an act of irresponsible negligence.
Regretfully, she shook her head. I appreciate the
offer, Brian. I mean that sincerely, but I cant.
If its a matter of money, I could loan it to you.
That would only give Sam more ammunition against me. I cant risk it, not with the children involved.
Are you sure thats the reason? he asked casually.
She wouldnt insult him by pretending ignorance. Yes.
He searched her face until she was sure hed committed every feature to memory, and then he smiled. I understand. Will you let me give you a tip?
Relieved, she laughed. Of course.
Bet on number five in the first race.
The black was number five. I already did.
He nodded. Good girl. Tell Annie and Ben Ill expect them with me when the jockeys mount.
It was a tremendous honor, one they hadnt experienced since Kentucky. Thank you, Brian, she said warmly. Theyll like that.
Theyre grand children, Caitlin. Youre doin a fine job with them.
His consideration shamed her. She didnt deserve it, not after so firmly dismissing his feelings. Drawing a deep breath, she plunged into dangerous waters. About the other night
He waited, neither helping nor impeding.
She continued. If I seemed abrupt, Im sorry.
Still he waited, eyes impersonal, lips turned up in a polite smile. If only he would say something. Her temper flared. Perhaps Im being presumptuous and you never gave it another thought.
Amusement, or something close to it, glinted in his eyes and then disappeared. Youre being absurd, he said simply.
Chastened, Caitlin found herself halfway to the stands before she realized that she hadnt so much as noticed if her children were anywhere to be found. Squinting against the glare, she shaded her eyes and surveyed the stands, her gaze moving across the crowd, stopping briefly to linger on each small dark head before moving on.
Someone called her name. She turned toward the sound and saw Brigid waving at her. Changing direction, Caitlin met her mother at the fence.
Where are the children? Brigid asked.
I was hoping youd seen them. Brian sent them to buy chips.
Brigid looked around, randomly at first and then her eyes focused. She nudged Caitlin. Isnt that Sam with Annie and Ben?
Caitlin stiffened. Where?
Near the startin gate, with the man in the gray coat and the other one wearin the odd hat.
Caitlin recognized the man called Fahey. He appeared to be deep in conversation with her husband. She watched Ben struggle against the stranglehold Annie had on his arm. Brushing aside Brigids restraining hand she started across the green, anger lending her speed.
Her mother ran along beside her. Dont make a scene, Caitlin. Hes their father.
She fought back tears of rage. A father whos so oblivious he doesnt even know theyre alive. Look at him, Mum. He hasnt seen them in months.
Whose fault is that?
Are you on my side or not? Caitlin demanded angrily without losing her stride.
Yours. Brigid increased her speed and stepped in front of Caitlin, forcing her to stop. They wont thank you for it, love. Its best t let this one go.
Pressing her fingers tightly against her eyelids, Caitlin took a restoring breath. He wont get them, Mum, not unless its over my dead body, and not even then. She gripped her mothers arm. Promise that if something happens to me, you wont let him have them.
Nothins goin t happen t you.
Promise me.
Brigid rubbed her arm. Youve given me a bruise.
Promise me, Mum.
There isnt anythin I wouldnt do for you and the children. You should know that.
Some of the tension left Caitlins body. She stepped around her mother. You dont have to come with me.
Brigid fell into step beside her. Ive come this far.
Im not going to make a scene, Mum, Caitlin said, exasperated. Ill simply remind them that unless we hurry well miss the first race.
You promised me lunch, Brigid reminded her.
Ben noticed them first. Mum, he shouted, breaking free of Annies hand and hurling himself into Caitlins arms. Im hungry but Annie says we need to stay.
Does she? said his mother, keeping her voice light. Annie, Ive a place on the grass and a lunch basket. Daddy can come for you when hes finished.
Sam broke off his conversation and lashed out at her. For Gods sake, Caitlin. Its about time. Im in the middle of something here. Cant you control them?
Annies face whitened with hurt.
Caitlin felt her nails break through the skin of her palms. It looks like everything is already under control, thanks to Annie. She turned her back on her husband and smiled at her daughter. Come along, love. Its time for the race to begin.
Reluctantly, Annie fell into step beside her mother. But Daddy said we could watch it with him.
Caitlins pace picked up so that the others had to jog to keep up with her. Obviously Daddy had other priorities.
Caitlin, Brigid warned under her breath.
Sighing, Caitlin stopped, rested her hands on her daughters shoulders and concentrated on keeping her words impartial. Annie, today is a work day for your father.
What kind of work?
Hes in the thoroughbred business. You know that. This is a big race. People he needs to see are here. Im sorry that he doesnt have as much time for you as youd like, but he has promised to take you out next Saturday. She smiled bracingly. Youll have to be patient, love. Do you understand?
Annie sniffed. Im not a baby.
I know youre not Caitlin was interrupted by the announcers voice. The horses were at the gate. Grabbing her childrens hands, she ran toward the fence for a better view just in time for the break.
The track was flat, treeless. Every stumble, every gain, every flick of a jockeys whip could be seen by the bystanders. Moving at incredible speeds, the jockeys stood in the saddles, hunched over, their silks streaks of color bleeding against the gray sky.
From the beginning the black was in the lead. Caitlin watched as she moved gracefully, efficiently over the soggy turf, her head stretched, legs reaching out in a glorious, ground-eating stride. Effortlessly she made the turns, increasing her lead by two leagues and then by three as if the sheer joy of being in front was what she lived for. Caitlin held her breath as the riders disappeared behind the stands and came out again. The black was still ahead, crossing the finish line a full four leagues in front of the bay and five in front of the gray.
Caitlin stared at her racing card. Ive won, she said unsteadily. The black to win, the bay to place, and the gray to show. Ive won. She stared at Brigid. You did place the bets.
Brigid held out the ticket. I did and I added a bit for myself as well. Will you bet on the next one?
Caitlin shook her head. John always told me if I was lucky enough to double my winnings on the first race, I shouldnt throw it all away by hoping for the same luck on the others.
John OShea always was a wise man, Brigid observed.
Besides, said Caitlin practically, I havent the money to lose. She smiled at her children. I spread a blanket on the green. Whos hungry?
I am, Ben shouted, his voice drowning out Annies more subdued one.
Brigids thick woolen blanket kept out the chill of grass still wet with morning dew. Caitlin passed out napkins, poured stew from the thermos into paper cups and handed out slices of what looked like a cold cheese pie.
Whats this? Brigid asked, biting into it tentatively.
Tomato-cheese frittata, her daughter answered absently. She was busy wiping Bens mouth after hed found his first ambitious mouthful of stew to be too hot.
Its delicious, Brigid pronounced. Who would have thought cold cheese and tomatoes would do the trick on a day like this?
Caitlin laughed. Its easier to manage than sandwiches, and just as healthy. Hows the stew, Annie?
Annie tilted her head, considering her answer. Too many green things, she said, but still good enough to eat.
Thank you. Caitlins eyes twinkled. The green things are
fresh parsley, a rare find this time of year.
Lord, Caitlin, Brigid marveled after tasting several bites of stew. Youre amazin. This is wonderful.
Ben smiled engagingly and once again Caitlin wiped his mouth clean.
How would you like a cookie? she asked. Theyre Annies favorite.
Mine, too, said Ben.
You like everything, Annie scoffed. It wouldnt matter what Mama cooked.
How accommodatin of you, love. Brigid nodded approvingly at her grandson. I wish your mother had been so easy t please.
Annie perked up. Was Mama a picky eater?
Aye. Brigid nodded. The worst kind.
Tell us, tell us, pleaded Ben.
Caitlin stood and brushed off her calf-length skirt. Ive heard this story before. I think Ill collect my winnings while you destroy my character. She smiled. The next race should start soon. Pay attention. Brians filly is running in the third.
With her mothers promise that they would be at their places near the fence, Caitlin set out for the betting windows. Men and women were already queued up in anticipation of the next race. She took her place, keeping an eye out for other windows that might open.
A hat caught her eye. She turned to see Sams friend, the many called Fahey, talking to a thin, narrow-faced boy she recognized as one of the exercisers at the Curragh Stud Farm. They were deep in conversation. The older mans thick hand gripped the exercisers shoulder. Casually, oblivious to the milling crowd around them, he slipped an envelope into the boys jacket pocket.
For some reason the encounter struck her as odd. Caitlin knew that transactions were commonly handled at races the size of Punchestown. But something bothered her about this one. Brian and her husband had an adversarial relationship. Money was not an issue for the Curragh Stud nor was it one for its manager. What could Sam and his henchman, Fahey, want with Brians exercise boy?
Smiling at the man in the window, Caitlin watched as he counted out her cash. It wasnt unusual to win fifteen hundred pounds at the races, but for a small fifty pound bet, it was a windfall. Pocketing the money, she walked toward the fence where her mother and children waited. Her thoughts were elsewhere. Fifteen hundred pounds, once a meager fifty, burned a hole in her pocket.
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